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Would you withdraw early?


Catalytic
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My DS6 is in public K, he has about 3 weeks of school left.  We're moving out of our house/neighborhood on the last day of school.  (And moving to a new state 2 weeks after that)

 

Every morning, DS fights DH getting ready for school, whines that he doesn't want to go.  Last night, he told me he didn't want to go to school today.  We tried to talk to him about it today, he says he likes school, he's cried a few times about leaving his teacher in the past few weeks.

 

About half of his classmates live within a few hundred yards of us, 5 live in our building or the building next door (a building is a group of 6 connected townhouses, there's about 20 feet between buildings).  He regularly plays with 4 of his classmates (I'm not a nice mom, I only allow him to play in the connected backyards, the nice moms let their kids play in the street), plus there are 4 homeschoolers in our building he plays with, along with another kiddo that missed the school cut off by a few days, and will start K next year.  The homeschoolers and the almost-K'er play outside most of the day.  (NOT judging, just trying to give the situation for advice)

 

This is the first move for DS that he's upset about (our 7th move in 7 years), because he has all these friends close by.  We've lived here just over 6 months.

 

This state is anal about truancy, though the school may fib for us and just say we moved already, but if not, I just need to submit a letter to the superintendent with intent, and by Aug 1st provide testing results, but I had him take a 2nd grade CAT a couple of weeks ago, so I'd just submit the intent and the results in one letter to CMA and call it a day, since we won't be here next school year anyway.

 

Would you pull him?  I'm considering it just so he can have the next 3 weeks to play with friends, because I'm tired of him whining and crying every day when I pick him up, and because if it's raining and he can't go outside to play, he falls asleep on the couch.

 

DH and I are trying to come to a decision ourselves before we offer the option to him.  If he wants to continue going to school to finish the year, that's fine with us.  I'm not concerned about him missing education, he passed all the end of the year testing at the beginning of the year, and we're homeschooling next year anyway.

 

On the other hand, we do intend to put him back in public (or private) school again in the future, and DH worries that we may be setting a bad precedent by pulling him early just because he doesn't want to go.

 

Thoughts?

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Psychologically he may feel the need for the security of being at home.  He may also be trying to cut ties with his school since he won't be back there next year.  And he may also subconsciously be afraid you will move early and he will be left behind.  There could be a whole host of things going on his head right now that make it hard to want to go to school.  6 is at an age where he is probably starting to really connect with people and places beyond Mommy and Daddy in a truly meaningful way so this move may be harder on him than previous ones.

 

As for pulling him out this close to the end, it is only three weeks so staying the course seems logical but at the same time he is 6, you are moving, he is struggling with this move, etc.  If these last 3 weeks you were able to spend quality time with him, seeing sights in the area you haven't had a chance to, maybe do some fun projects tied specifically to this area that he might not get the opportunity to do again, and maybe you could spend some quality time cuddling and reassuring him and strengthening the family bond, as opposed to just marking time at school, pulling him early might not be a bad idea.  

 

Why not make a list of the pros and cons?  Ask yourself and your husband a lot of questions.  Would him being home make it harder to pack and get ready or easier?  Might it be harder for him in the long run to see you packing up stuff or would helping out make him feel more a part of the process, something he is doing too, not just having done to him?  What are they doing for these last 3 weeks of school?  Anything worthwhile?  What could you be doing with him instead that would be worthwhile?  

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I'd have no problem pulling him WITH THE CAVEAT that I could do so without him thinking his whining had anything to do with it. It may mean some creative wording when explaining it to my son, because I think the concern about setting a bad precedent is a very valid one.  For this reason I would also not give my son the choice, I'd do just as you plan to do - decide with DH and present it to your son. I'm probably mean this way, but it'd be all or nothing - no going back for end of the year parties or field trips. We're either in, or out.

 

I think everything OneStepAtATime typed out is also very valid. I think the PRO/CON list is the way to go here, knowing what only you can know about your son and this move. Either way, I hope this is the worst of your move and that it's otherwise uneventful and easy!

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Could you pick him up early a few days for extra play time with his friends instead? I would think that he isn't realizing how much he might like the fun activities that last week of school.

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I would have him finish the year.

 

 

No, I would not pull him. He needs to finish the school year as expected.

 

 

I'd have him finish the year, and make sure he has time to play after school.  

 

For you folks above...why do you say that?  

 

I'd pull him without blinking. 

 

Or not even bothering to pull. Just say he's not feeling well and have him not come & maybe let him go at the end when there is fun stuff to do and the year end parties etc.  

 

 

I would LOVE to not pull, but the truancy laws here are crazy.  (Well, I guess they aren't crazy, but I'd be violating them, something I'd rather avoid LOL)

 

Psychologically he may feel the need for the security of being at home.  He may also be trying to cut ties with his school since he won't be back there next year.  And he may also subconsciously be afraid you will move early and he will be left behind.  There could be a whole host of things going on his head right now that make it hard to want to go to school.  6 is at an age where he is probably starting to really connect with people and places beyond Mommy and Daddy in a truly meaningful way so this move may be harder on him than previous ones.

 

As for pulling him out this close to the end, it is only three weeks so staying the course seems logical but at the same time he is 6, you are moving, he is struggling with this move, etc.  If these last 3 weeks you were able to spend quality time with him, seeing sights in the area you haven't had a chance to, maybe do some fun projects tied specifically to this area that he might not get the opportunity to do again, and maybe you could spend some quality time cuddling and reassuring him and strengthening the family bond, as opposed to just marking time at school, pulling him early might not be a bad idea.  

 

Why not make a list of the pros and cons?  Ask yourself and your husband a lot of questions.  Would him being home make it harder to pack and get ready or easier?  Might it be harder for him in the long run to see you packing up stuff or would helping out make him feel more a part of the process, something he is doing too, not just having done to him?  What are they doing for these last 3 weeks of school?  Anything worthwhile?  What could you be doing with him instead that would be worthwhile?  

 

Hmmm...

 

I don't *think* he's worried about being left behind, but I will make sure he knows tomorrow that won't happen.  I fully expect this move to be harder on him (it already is, actually, lots of tears, we feel terrible about it), he had a few friends in our previous home, but no one he played with every.single.day.,  more like on a monthly basis.  (One of his friends from there is actually here right now, they play a couple times a week, and I do plan to pull him out of school for one day to take them both to Busch Gardens before it gets crazy busy when school lets out)  Anyway, he's very excited about the move, but very sad to leave his friends.

 

He's not a cuddler, and other than maybe spending a few days at Busch Gardens (which he would absolutely LOVE, if the weather would cooperate), about the only thing I would do that I don't already do, is let him play with friends all day.  I *might* start some of his schoolwork I have planned for next year early (currently planning to start it the week after he finishes school), but basically if he has the chance to be playing with friends, that's what I want him to do.  (We already do some schoolwork at home, imo the whole year at K has just been marking time, though his teacher HAS tried to challenge him)

 

Will talk to hubby about pros and cons.  Hubby does all the packing, DS being home won't really be relevant to that.  Not sure if it will bother DS to see it packed, he saw it packed a little under a year ago, and knows he got it back eventually.  I'm really not sure what they're doing at school, we usually find out via the homework folder, and last week was the last week of homework.  (Again, though, the homework seems way too easy for DS, I got frustrated having to "waste" time on it when I could have used the time to work on his level.  We did it anyway, though.)  Not sure I would really be doing anything any more worthwhile than what I do now already, other than to let him play with his friends.

 

(Both DH and I feel strongly that the school days are too long at this age, was something we discussed today, actually.  We'd both prefer he be outside, getting exercise and playing with friends, than stuck in a classroom all day.)

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I tend to agree with your dh. If you were going to homeschool him indefinitely, I'd pull him without a second thought. But given that you're not planning to homeschool long term, I wouldn't want to give the impression that he can quit before the end of the year if he feels like it. Of course, that depends on when you're planning to enroll him in PS again, too. If you're going to homeschool until high school, that's not so much of an issue. If he's going back in, say, second grade, I'd be more likely to emphasize that he needs to finish out the year because the schools get twitchy when kids skip the last few weeks.

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I tend to agree with your dh. If you were going to homeschool him indefinitely, I'd pull him without a second thought. But given that you're not planning to homeschool long term, I wouldn't want to give the impression that he can quit before the end of the year if he feels like it. Of course, that depends on when you're planning to enroll him in PS again, too. If you're going to homeschool until high school, that's not so much of an issue. If he's going back in, say, second grade, I'd be more likely to emphasize that he needs to finish out the year because the schools get twitchy when kids skip the last few weeks.

 

He will most likely be homeschooled for at least the next 2 years, probably the next 3.  We plan to put him back in school after that.  Maybe?  The school district we're moving to isn't very good from what we've heard, so that and a few other reasons have led us to homeschooling while we live there.

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I would have him finish school. He likes his school. He likes his teacher. It sounds like he has no trouble making friends and this is his last chance to spend time with school friends. Also, you do not want to set the precedent that you and DH will cave to incessant whining. I don't think that stopping the whining is a good reason to skip school. Have you had any indication that he's unhappy in class? Besides, he'll still have hours to play at home in the evening and on weekends for the next few weeks. It's the last push. People get tired at the end of things. It's not really a good enough reason to bail.

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This is what I would do.

 

I'd pull him without blinking.

 

Or not even bothering to pull. Just say he's not feeling well and have him not come & maybe let him go at the end when there is fun stuff to do and the year end parties etc.

 

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I would let him stay because the last few weeks of school is when kids do music, gardening, science, art and field trips at my local school. My oldest counts down to all the hands on fun after state testing ends when he was in public school. He enjoyed the year end parties.

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I'd have no problem pulling him WITH THE CAVEAT that I could do so without him thinking his whining had anything to do with it. It may mean some creative wording when explaining it to my son, because I think the concern about setting a bad precedent is a very valid one.  For this reason I would also not give my son the choice, I'd do just as you plan to do - decide with DH and present it to your son. I'm probably mean this way, but it'd be all or nothing - no going back for end of the year parties or field trips. We're either in, or out.

 

I think everything OneStepAtATime typed out is also very valid. I think the PRO/CON list is the way to go here, knowing what only you can know about your son and this move. Either way, I hope this is the worst of your move and that it's otherwise uneventful and easy!

 

 

I would have him finish school. He likes his school. He likes his teacher. It sounds like he has no trouble making friends and this is his last chance to spend time with school friends. Also, you do not want to set the precedent that you and DH will cave to incessant whining. I don't think that stopping the whining is a good reason to skip school. Have you had any indication that he's unhappy in class? Besides, he'll still have hours to play at home in the evening and on weekends for the next few weeks. It's the last push. People get tired at the end of things. It's not really a good enough reason to bail.

 

EEK, I gave a wrong impression.  *I* am tired of the whining every day AFTER school when I pick him up (I'm tired, I'm starving, I want to go home right now)...but that doesn't play into this.  He doesn't really whine about not wanting to go to school in the mornings, he's just tired, doesn't want to wake up, and tells Daddy he doesn't want to go.  I don't know if it's because he doesn't want to wake up yet, or what.  When he said it last night, it was about the same, it wasn't whining, more just in conversation.

 

We have tried to find out whether he's being picked on at school, and it doesn't seem like it, the best we can tell.  He has adamantly resisted getting his hair cut all year, last week, he hopped in the van and said he wanted his hair cut so he'd look like a boy.  I'd tried 3 times the week before to get him to get it cut.  DH thinks someone at school made a comment about it, and that's why he suddenly wanted it cut.  A few weeks ago on the way to school, he said something to DH about not everyone at school liking him...DH is hard of hearing and didn't catch everything he said, and he clams up when we ask about it.  A friend down the street frequently volunteers in the classroom, she tries to keep an eye out and hasn't noticed anything IN the classroom, so we're not sure if there's somewhere else it's happening or what.

 

We will be either in or out, unless I just pull him for BG and don't withdraw.  Truancy laws won't allow anything else here, and if they did, I don't know what I would do.

 

I haven't had kids in school for ummm, over a decade, so I don't know if this is normal end-of-the-year behavior (though it's been going on for MONTHS) or what.  He has progressively gotten harder to wake up as the school year went on, but he gets 11-12 hours of sleep every night.  He WILL fall asleep after school if he isn't out playing, and almost always falls asleep if we're in the car any length of time after school.  (School is literally a 3 minute drive from the house, so he doesn't fall asleep on the way home) 

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I'm sorry you've had to move so often.

 

Complaining about school--i.e. not wanting to work or sit still or do as told--is not something that is solved by homeschooling.

 

I would pull my child for the following reasons:

 

  • Bullying
  • Lack of curriculum that allowed the child an education (including, pulling from homeschool if I couldn't meet the child's needs)
  • Cruelty by the teacher
  • My family needed to move to survive

 

I would not pull my child from school (B&M or homeschool) for the following reasons:

 

  • A five year old dilly-dallying (if I did that, we would probably still be wherever we were when my oldest turned five, just sitting there, waiting for a small child to be like, "you know what I've decided to take initiative! Let's get going!" To anything. Swim. School. Karate. Play group. Half the birthday parties we attended. Using the toilet. Eating food bought at the grocery store. I mean stopping when a five year old whines or dilly-dallies... I can't imagine that life.
  • Moving later.
  • Not sure what to do.
  • Could be better. Maybe. I dunno. Let's see.

 

As for a kid being outside... I guess I wonder why do K in the first place? I completely agree with that line of reasoning but why did you put him in school if you wanted him outside?

 

And if you do pull, I'm assuming you'd finish off the year strong with a homeschool curriculum? Or is this just avoiding all the work of PS and homeschooling before you move? A reasonable thought for a child that's ahead but I'd think about how that could affect his attitude in the future.

 

I would have him finish out the year. I also would not make any plans based on where you are going to be in two years. You've moved once a year every year since he was born?

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I would let him stay because the last few weeks of school is when kids do music, gardening, science, art and field trips at my local school. My oldest counts down to all the hands on fun after state testing ends when he was in public school. He enjoyed the year end parties.

I think this depends on the school.  My kids' school basically had them sitting around doing almost zilch in most of the classes.  They could read or bring a board game but there certainly weren't the fun activities you describe.

 

OP, perhaps you could find out what the teacher is planning for those last 3 weeks (does that include this week so it is only 2 1/2 or is it 3 weeks starting next week?).  Maybe there are some things that would fire up your son, things that he might really enjoy since primary academics seem to be winding down.  And this will be his last time to be with his classmates and his teachers before moving.  

 

I don't disagree with you regarding the need for kids at this age to have ample time to play outside, run around with friends, etc.  I feel that in the schools in our area that structured school in kinder is too long, too structured, etc.  They spend hours doing clerical work instead of experiential learning.  I would not pull him just because he had a few days he was whining about going (we all have days where we get whiny and don't want to do things), but I also am not married to the idea that young children gain much benefit from sitting at a desk all day doing worksheets.  In fact, I think it can be harmful.  What are they doing in the classroom for these last few weeks?  If the teacher is giving them a bunch of busywork to keep them occupied, I say maybe pull him.  If they actually have some interesting activities planned, I'd keep him in. 

 

My caveat to that last is how will pulling him affect his transcript since you plan to put him back in school in 2-3 years? Kinder isn't even mandatory here but once you put a child in the ps, the rules change.  Having put in the time at this kinder it might cause negative consequences later or at least make things a bit more challenging if he was not given credit for completing kinder.

 

What are the regs in your new state?

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EEK, I gave a wrong impression.  *I* am tired of the whining every day AFTER school when I pick him up (I'm tired, I'm starving, I want to go home right now)...but that doesn't play into this.  He doesn't really whine about not wanting to go to school in the mornings, he's just tired, doesn't want to wake up, and tells Daddy he doesn't want to go.  I don't know if it's because he doesn't want to wake up yet, or what.  When he said it last night, it was about the same, it wasn't whining, more just in conversation.

 

I misunderstood, sorry! I have a clearer picture now of what you meant.

 

Maybe it's an emotional spurt, all of my boys went a bit emotional at 6-7. It shows up in different ways in different kids. If he's sensitive in general, maybe a small something happened (even an innocent comment) and he's still processing it.

 

FWIW I agree with you about the long school days for his age, so that biases me towards pulling him. Has he had a check-up lately? Is he having a growth spurt?

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We have tried to find out whether he's being picked on at school, and it doesn't seem like it, the best we can tell.  He has adamantly resisted getting his hair cut all year, last week, he hopped in the van and said he wanted his hair cut so he'd look like a boy.  I'd tried 3 times the week before to get him to get it cut.  DH thinks someone at school made a comment about it, and that's why he suddenly wanted it cut.  A few weeks ago on the way to school, he said something to DH about not everyone at school liking him...DH is hard of hearing and didn't catch everything he said, and he clams up when we ask about it.  A friend down the street frequently volunteers in the classroom, she tries to keep an eye out and hasn't noticed anything IN the classroom, so we're not sure if there's somewhere else it's happening or what.

 

We will be either in or out, unless I just pull him for BG and don't withdraw.  Truancy laws won't allow anything else here, and if they did, I don't know what I would do.

 

I haven't had kids in school for ummm, over a decade, so I don't know if this is normal end-of-the-year behavior (though it's been going on for MONTHS) or what.  He has progressively gotten harder to wake up as the school year went on, but he gets 11-12 hours of sleep every night.  He WILL fall asleep after school if he isn't out playing, and almost always falls asleep if we're in the car any length of time after school.  (School is literally a 3 minute drive from the house, so he doesn't fall asleep on the way home) 

Hmmm, not sure what to think about these two things.  

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The only reason I would consider it is if you were going to homeschool indefinitely. I would not tie it to his complaining though. During the last few weeks of school not much gets done anyway. They do a lot of end of the year rituals and parties and they seem to have more time to socialize then in the rest of the school year. It is nice to live with a lot of other kids around but some kids do grumble that they do not get to do what the other kids do or play as much. I do not let the grumbling affect things. The do a lot but forget that when Johnny is doing something they cannot right now.

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I'd have no problem pulling him WITH THE CAVEAT that I could do so without him thinking his whining had anything to do with it. It may mean some creative wording when explaining it to my son, because I think the concern about setting a bad precedent is a very valid one.  For this reason I would also not give my son the choice, I'd do just as you plan to do - decide with DH and present it to your son. I'm probably mean this way, but it'd be all or nothing - no going back for end of the year parties or field trips. We're either in, or out.

 

I think everything OneStepAtATime typed out is also very valid. I think the PRO/CON list is the way to go here, knowing what only you can know about your son and this move. Either way, I hope this is the worst of your move and that it's otherwise uneventful and easy!

I agree with the bolded.  

 

Which brings me back around to seeing if you can find out what they will be doing those last 3 weeks of school.

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With the additional information I'd be making an appointment with his pediatrician. If he's too physically tired to cope with a school day, and he's getting to bed early enough, it might be worth a check-up. Or he could just need a snack and a 20 minute nap. A nap and a snack can be great medicine. He could be beginning a growth spurt and just need more rest. Still, skipping school for three weeks is sketchy. You're not homeschoolers yet. Nobody will believe that you plan to do lessons for the next few weeks and it sounds like your town is serious about enforcing the truancy laws.

 

Maybe I'm just cranky because I've homeschooled for a long time and have seen a lot of people SAY they're homeschooling when they're doing absolutely nothing.

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If he's sleeping that much more and crabby, my inclination would be to watch for any signs of infection and assuming he's in a growth spurt in the mean time.  If it didn't change in another 6ish weeks, I'd take him into the doctor.

 

Some kids need more than 12 hours of sleep at that age.  I know one mom who said hers needed naps until about 8-9, and totalled 12-14 hours a day until nearly middle school!

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Hmmm, not sure what to think about these two things.  

 

First one can be common occasionally. And then the next day "I love my friends! I'm inviting my whole class to my party!" It's hyperbole of a child who's just out of toddlerhood.

 

Second is a six year old needing a nap. Normal. My littlest one needed 12 hours of sleep through 6.

 

Not a reason to keep a child in B&M school, but fully normal.

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I'm sorry you've had to move so often.

 

Complaining about school--i.e. not wanting to work or sit still or do as told--is not something that is solved by homeschooling.

 

I would pull my child for the following reasons:

 

  • Bullying
  • Lack of curriculum that allowed the child an education (including, pulling from homeschool if I couldn't meet the child's needs)
  • Cruelty by the teacher
  • My family needed to move to survive

 

I would not pull my child from school (B&M or homeschool) for the following reasons:

 

  • A five year old dilly-dallying (if I did that, we would probably still be wherever we were when my oldest turned five, just sitting there, waiting for a small child to be like, "you know what I've decided to take initiative! Let's get going!" To anything. Swim. School. Karate. Play group. Half the birthday parties we attended. Using the toilet. Eating food bought at the grocery store. I mean stopping when a five year old whines or dilly-dallies... I can't imagine that life.
  • Moving later.
  • Not sure what to do.
  • Could be better. Maybe. I dunno. Let's see.

 

As for a kid being outside... I guess I wonder why do K in the first place? I completely agree with that line of reasoning but why did you put him in school if you wanted him outside?

 

And if you do pull, I'm assuming you'd finish off the year strong with a homeschool curriculum? Or is this just avoiding all the work of PS and homeschooling before you move? A reasonable thought for a child that's ahead but I'd think about how that could affect his attitude in the future.

 

I would have him finish out the year. I also would not make any plans based on where you are going to be in two years. You've moved once a year every year since he was born?

 

*edited to remove specifics, and to post a correction.  In another thread, I talked about moving into our 7th house in 7 years, and somehow got 7 moves in 7 years stuck in my head.  We're on our 6th move, not 7th!*

 

He doesn't complain about school, just about going to school.  He's a model student, always on his best behavior at school.  (We get behavior "color" every day in his calendar, so I'm sure of this)  I don't believe the school meets his education needs, but then I don't believe 5/6 really NEEDS a lot of education.  I supplement at home, and he learns quickly.  I'm OK with the education he's received at school and at home this year.  IF I had homeschooled him, yes, he would be further than he is, but how far does he really need to be at this age?  His teacher is great, I like her, he loves her.  We move because my husband is in the military.  The military is a choice we made together to stay with, but the moves aren't our choice, we go when and where we're told to.  I guess they are our choice, he could retire.

 

We don't stop or slow down for those reasons, I guess I should have left the whining out of it, it's not about him whining, that comes after school, because he's tired and hungry.  *I* would like that to stop, but I'm not going to pull him out of school because of it.  (If I was, I'd have pulled him after the first 2 weeks of school when it first starting irritating me.)

 

We put him in K because:  1)  DH and I don't always agree about homeschooling, but neither of us intended to homeschool THIS child, I had hoped to eventually rejoin the workforce  2)  Compulsory attendance in this state is 5 years old  3)  He LOVED part-day pre-K last year, but he went to the afternoon session, so he got to wake up on his own

 

And, just an aside, he started school in early August in another state.  The school he is in now started in September.  His friends in the previous state got out for the year 2 weeks ago.  He missed 6 days of school in the move, 4 of which were the school's fault here, I finally got tired of fighting and used McKinney-Vento to enroll him (it's a LOT of fun trying to enroll a child when you don't have an address yet, let me tell you!)

 

If I pull him now, I will continue to do what I do anyway as far as homeschooling goes.  I have supplemented the public schooling all year anyway.  We always try to include field trips in our moves, this move includes Washington DC, Gettysburg, and a side trip to pick up Delaware and New Jersey for our family map on the camper.  We make these trips as educationally fun as possible.  I will NOT jump into 7 hour a day homeschooling if I pull him out of school right now.  (I won't do 7 hour a day homeschooling next year either, for that matter)

 

Barring something major (injury, etc) that renders DH unfit for service, we will be at our next place for 24 to 36 months. 

Edited by Catalytic
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I think this depends on the school.  My kids' school basically had them sitting around doing almost zilch in most of the classes.  They could read or bring a board game but there certainly weren't the fun activities you describe.

 

OP, perhaps you could find out what the teacher is planning for those last 3 weeks (does that include this week so it is only 2 1/2 or is it 3 weeks starting next week?).  Maybe there are some things that would fire up your son, things that he might really enjoy since primary academics seem to be winding down.  And this will be his last time to be with his classmates and his teachers before moving.  

 

I don't disagree with you regarding the need for kids at this age to have ample time to play outside, run around with friends, etc.  I feel that in the schools in our area that structured school in kinder is too long, too structured, etc.  They spend hours doing clerical work instead of experiential learning.  I would not pull him just because he had a few days he was whining about going (we all have days where we get whiny and don't want to do things), but I also am not married to the idea that young children gain much benefit from sitting at a desk all day doing worksheets.  In fact, I think it can be harmful.  What are they doing in the classroom for these last few weeks?  If the teacher is giving them a bunch of busywork to keep them occupied, I say maybe pull him.  If they actually have some interesting activities planned, I'd keep him in. 

 

My caveat to that last is how will pulling him affect his transcript since you plan to put him back in school in 2-3 years? Kinder isn't even mandatory here but once you put a child in the ps, the rules change.  Having put in the time at this kinder it might cause negative consequences later or at least make things a bit more challenging if he was not given credit for completing kinder.

 

What are the regs in your new state?

 

I'll drop a note to his teacher tomorrow to see what they are doing.  (There are 11 school days left, including tomorrow.  We didn't plan to move ON the last day of school, but after we made OUR plans, the school district shortened the school year by a few days, originally he would have had 13 days left)

 

He won't be attending public school in the next state, and if DH retires, the state where he will next attend public school requires testing to enter the public school system, so I'm not concerned about his transcripts.  That state (Alabama) allows opting out of school until age 7, so I don't imagine his K record will matter.  They test for grade level before admitting previously homeschooled students.  K IS mandatory here, but you can opt for pre-K at 5 instead, but the child must be in school.  (Or homeschooled)

 

With the additional information I'd be making an appointment with his pediatrician. If he's too physically tired to cope with a school day, and he's getting to bed early enough, it might be worth a check-up. Or he could just need a snack and a 20 minute nap. A nap and a snack can be great medicine. He could be beginning a growth spurt and just need more rest. Still, skipping school for three weeks is sketchy. You're not homeschoolers yet. Nobody will believe that you plan to do lessons for the next few weeks and it sounds like your town is serious about enforcing the truancy laws.

 

Maybe I'm just cranky because I've homeschooled for a long time and have seen a lot of people SAY they're homeschooling when they're doing absolutely nothing.

 

We just went through all this with the pediatrician at the end of April.  He was tested for diabetes (random blood sugar, fasting blood sugar, and an A1C), iron levels, allergies, CBC, etc.  We know he has allergies, but our insurance is being stupid, we had a referral to an allergist for more extensive testing, but the one they referred us to has been closed for years (eyeroll), and they can't seem to understand that, so I can't get a referral to a different one in a timely manner (been trying for weeks).  At this point, we don't have time (the new one is scheduling at the end of June, and we STILL don't have an auth #), so I will pursue this after the move. 

 

HE isn't homeschooled, but all of his siblings are/have been.  We've been homeschooling, as a family, since 2002.  I have two others at home that ARE homeschooled right now.  And HE will be homeschooled from the time his K year is over, regardless of whether I pull him or not.  (Like, he finishes K on Friday, Saturday and Sunday we will be busy with the move, Monday is a dead day, we'll do school, Tuesday I have carpet cleaners and our trailer of stuff will be picked up, so I'll probably have him play with friends while that happens, probably no actual school, from Wednesday until July 4th he will do school on weekdays, then we will take a few weeks off for our fields trips/the move/unpacking, and I plan to restart school again August 22nd.  Even during the move and whatnot, he'll still have to read to us every night and we will read to him every night, that's part of the bedtime routine, and it's pretty well set in stone, unless he's asleep in his carseat when we get back to the camper at night, in which case he'll get the day off ;-)

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That is a crazy moving schedule! It's tiring just to look at.

 

Whatever you decide to do, he is little enough that nothing is as crucial as his security at this stage. Whatever you think will contribute to his good attitude and feeling safe and content is probably the wisest choose!

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That is a crazy moving schedule! It's tiring just to look at.

 

Whatever you decide to do, he is little enough that nothing is as crucial as his security at this stage. Whatever you think will contribute to his good attitude and feeling safe and content is probably the wisest choose!

 

Gah, I really hope my little man is not having crazy worries about this move :-(  That makes my heart hurt so much to think about.  He and I will have a chat tomorrow after school, I should be able to bribe him to stay awake in the van if I take him to Sweet Frog!  (I know he's going to miss his friends and is sad, and yes that hurts my heart, too, but I know he'll make more friends, and I've already got quite a few playdates set up with the homeschool group where we are going, to get him around other kids quickly.  But man, if he's worried about some things you ladies brought up, oh that hurts, I will definitely check on it!!!  They never crossed my mind.)

 

Didn't realize it's almost the weekend, his big sister is coming to visit this weekend, he tells her everything, I'll have her probe him, too.  He's a lot more patient with her questions than with mine or DH's.

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For you folks above...why do you say that)

Because I see no reason to pull hm out. Doing so sets a poor precident, in my opinion. School is not an optional activity, it is required by law. It sounds as if you move a lot. What will you say the next time a move is approaching? Will he always be allowed to ditch school to play with his friends? I have visions of Ferris Bueller dancing in my head. He just wanted to spend time playing, too.

 

While one occurs ce may not be detrimental, I think you're setting yourself up for potentially developing a bad pattern.

 

Preschool and early elementary friendships are precious, but they are also fickle. They don't typically last through the school years, even when the kids live in close proximity to one another because they change so much throughout the years. I just don't think it's smart to lead a child to believe that playing with friends is more important than finishing the job at hand, especially when the job is mandated by law.

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Because I see no reason to pull hm out. Doing so sets a poor precident, in my opinion. School is not an optional activity, it is required by law. It sounds as if you move a lot. What will you say the next time a move is approaching? Will he always be allowed to ditch school to play with his friends? I have visions of Ferris Bueller dancing in my head. He just wanted to spend time playing, too.

 

While one occurs ce may not be detrimental, I think you're setting yourself up for potentially developing a bad pattern.

 

Preschool and early elementary friendships are precious, but they are also fickle. They don't typically last through the school years, even when the kids live in close proximity to one another because they change so much throughout the years. I just don't think it's smart to lead a child to believe that playing with friends is more important than finishing the job at hand, especially when the job is mandated by law.

 

 

Well, school is optional in many places. Where I am we don't have to send our kids to school & homeschooling isn't even defined - just 'provide an educational program'.  It's bizarre to me to see this insistence on sending a kid to school on this board.

 

Now I get that the op's geographic region has some harsh laws & that's a separate thing (though I really question what people are going to do since you're actually moving anyway)  

 

& I think the idea that letting a kid this age quit 11 days early is somehow setting a precedent for a lifetime of malingering is just not compelling. He's just a little kid.

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The topic of security came up.  Going to school is your son's routine.  Routine provides security.  Even though he may not leap out of bed to get ready in the morning (I can relate), it still contributes to his sense of stability.

 

Another thing - if he spends more time with those kids, won't that make it all the harder to leave them behind?  How will it help in the long run?

 

I am not hung up on the precedent thing.  We let 5yos get away with stuff they won't get away with at 7 or 8.  That's just normal development.  Remember when KG was half day or 2.5 full days each week?  I don't remember people worrying that it would set a bad precedent for 1st grade.

 

I think it is OK to take some days off, but with advance planning and for a specific purpose.  Not just "oh, I don't feel up to it today so screw it."

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I think it might mess up his last few weeks with his friends, if half the class live in his neighborhood and suddenly he's the only one of the group not going to school. Weird for him, weird for them...if he loves his teacher and is safe at school, and his world of neighborhood friends involves the school which most of them attend, it seems to me that he should be kept in school if the goal is togetherness with his friends.

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Last days of school might make him more angsty if everyone is talking about missing each other over the summer, and yelling "see you next year" over and over, and he knows HE won't see them next year. 

 

I also have ONE big parenting strategy, and that is don't parent out of fear. I would not base this decision on some nebulous fear that it might set a bad precedent when he goes back to public school years from now. I'd do right now what works for right now. 

 

I'd talk to him and let him decide. Tell him that moving is happening soon, and since he did extra school before you moved here he doesn't have to finish up the year. Would he like to stay in school for the end of year parties and such, or would he like to stay home? Let him pick. 

 

Also, if you are in Florida, you have 30 days to file your intent to homeschool letter after withdrawing from public school. So no truancy issues. You will have moved before the 30 days are up, so just don't worry about it. 

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I know DoD schools have provisions in place for early completion due to PCS moves.

 

Could you meet with his teacher/admin to see if you can finish up some required work and get an early completion?  Or maybe do a "school at home" the last 11 days?

 

The only reason I'm saying this is because of the seemingly difficult truancy considerations.

 

Finishing up K there would likely be meaningless to a different school in a different state.  They become meaningful if there are accommodations for SN or Gifted/Talented testing, and sometimes middle school (math/honors course placements), and high school.

 

Testing required prior to school entrance is something I've seen, regardless of records...which again will make his K records essentially meaningless.

 

If it were me (using VA as my example), I'd have no issues pulling the child from K, submitting an NOI -- which wouldn't require test results at this point, as they are only required after you complete one year of homeschooling), and getting on with it.  Moving is stressful for everyone.  I'd be doing everything I could to lower my stress as well as my kids, if I could.

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For you folks above...why do you say that?  

 

 

(Both DH and I feel strongly that the school days are too long at this age, was something we discussed today, actually.  We'd both prefer he be outside, getting exercise and playing with friends, than stuck in a classroom all day.)

 

You guys have moved a lot and going to school has been his routine for six months. It's ok to finish that routine. He might benefit from the closure that comes from the end of the school year rituals.  His teacher will be telling all of the kids she'll miss them and that might make your ds feel like all the students instead of the one who is always moving.  

 

You might be unintentionally sending him a message that you don't want him in school- you say you  don't know what's going on there, you think he's stuck inside all day sitting at a desk-  but when you talk about playing with friends, well, that sounds awesome.  Kids can quickly pick up on that.  

 

But mostly I would choose to keep my kid in because it's just 11 more days.  Make a countdown calendar or something so he knows it's over soon. I'd even be tempted to make it a treat- like 11 Hershey's kisses and every day when he comes home from school he can have one. It's an easy way to reward him for getting through the day and also showing him how many more there are to go. 

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We have not had to move quite that frequently, but we've had the other disruptors that go along with a life of service (whatever type, ours is military) so I get what you are describing.  My input may not be what you are looking for, so ignore this if it doesn't work for you.  :)

 

First, whenever we move, there is a feeling of "pulling chalks" right before.  We all get irritated with little things about our current location, excited about the next one, and ready to make new friends.  We are sad to leave old friends, but there can be a distancing feeling.  Could he be doing that?  If so, I would have him finish the school year, so he doesn't miss the relaxed fun time at the end of the school year; it might be his best memory-making time with his class.

 

Second, my Dd really started to feel moves at age 6.  Before that, she'd act anxious or disoriented by regressing in little ways, but now she gets sad, misses friends, and is deeply lonely until we make new ones (which takes a lot of work!).  It breaks my heart, and is something I have to keep in mind as I plan her school/home load.

 

Third, it has helped us to discuss the meaning of our family's moving.  We talk about how we move when the AF says they need Daddy to do a certain job, and how we want to be with Daddy.  The kids are very impressed by his work, and its importance, because I talk it up.  When DH next leaves town for a bit, we have a new picture book called "H is for Honor" to read together.  We will be learning the alphabet, military-style (alpha beta Charlie delta....).  We will have a world map with pins and two clocks on 24 hr time, one on ours and one on his.  I know all that doesn't apply to your move, but could you do things to teach him about your lifestyle?  He's old enough now.   

 

Fourth, I'd get a medical checkup, just to be sure there is nothing dragging him down physically, and add more calories to his diet.  That sleep pattern sounds like a growth spurt.  A spoon of hearty peanut butter or cream cheese at bedtime helps my kids.

 

Best of luck on your move!  I bet you are a pro at it!  Hugs to your boy.

 

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For you folks above...why do you say that?  

 

 

I would LOVE to not pull, but the truancy laws here are crazy.  (Well, I guess they aren't crazy, but I'd be violating them, something I'd rather avoid LOL)

 

 

 

 

 

According to this, 6 days of unexcused absences or 19 days of excused absences are allowed.  (If I'm reading it correctly.)  Can you compromise?  Keep him home half the time and send him to school half the time?  Scatter the home days, 2-3 days/week.  If the teacher is understanding, just explain that the move is difficult for him and you have a lot going on and this is what you need to do to help with the whole move adjustment and his psychological well-being.  For goodness sake, he's in kindergarten!  (That last comment was meant for the teacher, not you.   :))

 

Or maybe have him go just one more week, and then tell her you're pulling him out earlier than originally planned due to the move.  (And "due to the move" can mean a lot of things!)

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On the other hand, we do intend to put him back in public (or private) school again in the future, and DH worries that we may be setting a bad precedent by pulling him early just because he doesn't want to go.

 

Thoughts?

 

I agree with your dh.  I would not reward him for being a pain about getting up and going by making him not have to go at all.  Would not happen.

 

 

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Because I see no reason to pull hm out. Doing so sets a poor precident, in my opinion. School is not an optional activity, it is required by law. It sounds as if you move a lot. What will you say the next time a move is approaching? Will he always be allowed to ditch school to play with his friends? I have visions of Ferris Bueller dancing in my head. He just wanted to spend time playing, too.

 

While one occurs ce may not be detrimental, I think you're setting yourself up for potentially developing a bad pattern.

 

Preschool and early elementary friendships are precious, but they are also fickle. They don't typically last through the school years, even when the kids live in close proximity to one another because they change so much throughout the years. I just don't think it's smart to lead a child to believe that playing with friends is more important than finishing the job at hand, especially when the job is mandated by law.

 

If he was 3rd or over, I wouldn't even consider it, and while yes, young friendships can be fickle, I think play is very important for young children.  It's great exercise, good socialization, and it's fun.  And yes, some days I do think that's a lot more important than what he's being taught in school at this age.  OTOH, I agree that school is a job that you don't quit, I'm just not 100% sure I would be sending that message to him, particularly if I was careful in how I phrased it.

 

Well, school is optional in many places. Where I am we don't have to send our kids to school & homeschooling isn't even defined - just 'provide an educational program'.  It's bizarre to me to see this insistence on sending a kid to school on this board.

 

Now I get that the op's geographic region has some harsh laws & that's a separate thing (though I really question what people are going to do since you're actually moving anyway)  

 

& I think the idea that letting a kid this age quit 11 days early is somehow setting a precedent for a lifetime of malingering is just not compelling. He's just a little kid.

 

I can work within the law, but yeah, I was a bit surprised to find out their compulsory laws were so stringent.  

 

The topic of security came up.  Going to school is your son's routine.  Routine provides security.  Even though he may not leap out of bed to get ready in the morning (I can relate), it still contributes to his sense of stability.

 

Another thing - if he spends more time with those kids, won't that make it all the harder to leave them behind?  How will it help in the long run?

 

I am not hung up on the precedent thing.  We let 5yos get away with stuff they won't get away with at 7 or 8.  That's just normal development.  Remember when KG was half day or 2.5 full days each week?  I don't remember people worrying that it would set a bad precedent for 1st grade.

 

I think it is OK to take some days off, but with advance planning and for a specific purpose.  Not just "oh, I don't feel up to it today so screw it."

 

You make a good point.  He is actually home today, the nap yesterday killed his bedtime routine, he was awake until well after 11.  DH said he was restless all night, so he didn't bother waking him up for school this morning.  DS woke up at 8am today, go figure  :banghead: .  Normally when allowed to sleep until he wakes up, he wakes up around 9 to 9:30.  He complained his throat hurts (strep is going around his classroom AGAIN, he just got over it about a month ago, I really hope he isn't going to get it again), so he thinks he's home for that.  He's done 4 lessons of EasyGrammar, 4 math worksheets, and read to me for 30 minutes.  Now he's over playing with his friends.  I took this opportunity to talk to him about the move and school, I'll post an update shortly.

 

I think it might mess up his last few weeks with his friends, if half the class live in his neighborhood and suddenly he's the only one of the group not going to school. Weird for him, weird for them...if he loves his teacher and is safe at school, and his world of neighborhood friends involves the school which most of them attend, it seems to me that he should be kept in school if the goal is togetherness with his friends.

 

The friends he plays with most are the 2 homeschoolers next door (they're his "best friends"), and the one that will be starting K in the fall.  Then he plays with the other 2 homeschoolers in our building.  If none of them can play, THEN he goes for classmates to play.  It's hard to explain, but the way our buildings are set up, and the lack of fencing, most of us in my building keep the kids behind our houses where they are easy to watch.  We also have put up several play structures/swingsets, so the kids prefer our backyard for the most part.  Anyway, I don't think it would mess with the school friends or him like that, just because of the friend dynamic.  Also, the kids in his class have had several (probably 15?) kids move away/move here this school year, so I don't think they'd think much of it anyway.

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I'd pull him without blinking. 

 

Or not even bothering to pull. Just say he's not feeling well and have him not come & maybe let him go at the end when there is fun stuff to do and the year end parties etc.  

 

 

:iagree: :iagree: :iagree:

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I would probably not send him. I second the pros and cons list. If I was keeping my child home, I wouldn't lie and say he doesn't feel well, but I might sign the paper for homeschooling and do a few fun K things while we pack.

Will you regret not sending him /sending him to finish K in a few years? Do whatever you think is best for him. He probably needs to say goodbye to his school friends and teacher on the last day that you designate will be his last day. As far as security goes, I don't think there is anything more secure than being with mom and dad. I would structure the packing days, so he knew what was happening and when meals would happen( my kids are always interested in this).

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Last days of school might make him more angsty if everyone is talking about missing each other over the summer, and yelling "see you next year" over and over, and he knows HE won't see them next year. 

 

I also have ONE big parenting strategy, and that is don't parent out of fear. I would not base this decision on some nebulous fear that it might set a bad precedent when he goes back to public school years from now. I'd do right now what works for right now. 

 

I'd talk to him and let him decide. Tell him that moving is happening soon, and since he did extra school before you moved here he doesn't have to finish up the year. Would he like to stay in school for the end of year parties and such, or would he like to stay home? Let him pick. 

 

Also, if you are in Florida, you have 30 days to file your intent to homeschool letter after withdrawing from public school. So no truancy issues. You will have moved before the 30 days are up, so just don't worry about it. 

 

Hmm, didn't think about the talk at the end of the year, will mention that to DH.  We're in Virginia currently, but I can meet the guidelines (both DH and I have high school diplomas, DH has a master's degree, I have enough credits for an associate's, but I don't have enough credits at my current college to get a diploma from them, so we're good on parent education) and submit notice of intent.

 

I know DoD schools have provisions in place for early completion due to PCS moves.

 

Could you meet with his teacher/admin to see if you can finish up some required work and get an early completion?  Or maybe do a "school at home" the last 11 days?

 

The only reason I'm saying this is because of the seemingly difficult truancy considerations.

 

Finishing up K there would likely be meaningless to a different school in a different state.  They become meaningful if there are accommodations for SN or Gifted/Talented testing, and sometimes middle school (math/honors course placements), and high school.

 

Testing required prior to school entrance is something I've seen, regardless of records...which again will make his K records essentially meaningless.

 

If it were me (using VA as my example), I'd have no issues pulling the child from K, submitting an NOI -- which wouldn't require test results at this point, as they are only required after you complete one year of homeschooling), and getting on with it.  Moving is stressful for everyone.  I'd be doing everything I could to lower my stress as well as my kids, if I could.

 

Not a DoD school, unfortunately, but no problem meeting VA's requirements if we did withdraw early.  Honestly don't think the school would even question it, they've been fantastic except about actually enrolling him.

 

You guys have moved a lot and going to school has been his routine for six months. It's ok to finish that routine. He might benefit from the closure that comes from the end of the school year rituals.  His teacher will be telling all of the kids she'll miss them and that might make your ds feel like all the students instead of the one who is always moving.  

 

You might be unintentionally sending him a message that you don't want him in school- you say you  don't know what's going on there, you think he's stuck inside all day sitting at a desk-  but when you talk about playing with friends, well, that sounds awesome.  Kids can quickly pick up on that.  

 

But mostly I would choose to keep my kid in because it's just 11 more days.  Make a countdown calendar or something so he knows it's over soon. I'd even be tempted to make it a treat- like 11 Hershey's kisses and every day when he comes home from school he can have one. It's an easy way to reward him for getting through the day and also showing him how many more there are to go. 

 

Talked to my neighbor that volunteers in the classroom, she said it seems like they're mostly just drawing, but I did put a note in his backpack to find out from the teacher.  I wouldn't tell him I was pulling him out so he can play with friends, and DH and I haven't discussed this where he could hear.  We discussed it last night while we were at our camper getting things ready for the move, he was home with his siblings.  The only thing that's been discussed with him is trying to pinpoint *why* he doesn't want to go.  (As a side note, since he is home today, by 10am, he was ready to go to school.  I said OK, let's go get dressed and I'll take you, then he said his throat hurts, so I gave him the option of whether to go or not.  He decided to stay home.)

 

Why all the moves?  Will it be this way for the remainder of his schooling years?  I am assuming you are military????

 

Yes, military.  DH's career is winding down, 6-8 more years at the most.  Guessing a max of 4 moves left, including the final move "home."

 

We have not had to move quite that frequently, but we've had the other disruptors that go along with a life of service (whatever type, ours is military) so I get what you are describing.  My input may not be what you are looking for, so ignore this if it doesn't work for you.  :)

 

First, whenever we move, there is a feeling of "pulling chalks" right before.  We all get irritated with little things about our current location, excited about the next one, and ready to make new friends.  We are sad to leave old friends, but there can be a distancing feeling.  Could he be doing that?  If so, I would have him finish the school year, so he doesn't miss the relaxed fun time at the end of the school year; it might be his best memory-making time with his class.

 

Second, my Dd really started to feel moves at age 6.  Before that, she'd act anxious or disoriented by regressing in little ways, but now she gets sad, misses friends, and is deeply lonely until we make new ones (which takes a lot of work!).  It breaks my heart, and is something I have to keep in mind as I plan her school/home load.

 

Third, it has helped us to discuss the meaning of our family's moving.  We talk about how we move when the AF says they need Daddy to do a certain job, and how we want to be with Daddy.  The kids are very impressed by his work, and its importance, because I talk it up.  When DH next leaves town for a bit, we have a new picture book called "H is for Honor" to read together.  We will be learning the alphabet, military-style (alpha beta Charlie delta....).  We will have a world map with pins and two clocks on 24 hr time, one on ours and one on his.  I know all that doesn't apply to your move, but could you do things to teach him about your lifestyle?  He's old enough now.   

 

Fourth, I'd get a medical checkup, just to be sure there is nothing dragging him down physically, and add more calories to his diet.  That sleep pattern sounds like a growth spurt.  A spoon of hearty peanut butter or cream cheese at bedtime helps my kids.

 

Best of luck on your move!  I bet you are a pro at it!  Hugs to your boy.

 

OMG, I feel like an idiot.  Totally did not consider he might be going through the "deployment" thing.  My other kids took all but one move so well, but they were very different from this little guy (he's a big extrovert, the rest are mostly introverts)  DH and I have been pulling chalks since we got here, sadly.  We got new orders a week (to the day!!!) after we arrived here, we think that's why we hate it here, we knew we were just killing time.

 

We also talk a lot about why we move, I have some books about it that we always read (this, this, and this)...  LOVE the clock idea, oh that will appeal to DS soooo much (he's constantly asking the time in other countries, thank goodness for Alexa!), DH is deploying a few months after the move, and has several TDY trips slated before the deployment.  Doc and I are assuming this is a growth spurt, as well, other than allergies, there was no other medical cause that seemed apparent.  

 

Some books you might consider for your littles that we really like (or some I plan to buy before DH deploys and have saved in my cart!):  Don't Forget, God Bless Our Troops, The Soldiers' Night Before Christmas, Hero Dad, A Paper Hug, Night Catch.  (There's quite a few more that will pop up at the bottom as suggestions on these pages that may interest you)

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(We're already WELL over the 19 excused days, we blew through those in the first 2 months of school between him being sick frequently (all with doc notes) and my dad died so we had to go "home" for a month.)

 

So, just a little update, he is home right now as I mentioned upthread.  He's back from playing at the neighbor's and now he and his brothers are drilling each other on spelling while they're playing on the WiiU together.

 

I talked to him this morning, I still don't know why he says he doesn't want to go to school sometimes.  He loves school, loves his teachers, he's the darling of most of the school staff (seriously, despite our unpleasant start at the school, everyone there loves him, and I have no idea why some of the higher grade teachers even know a K kid!).  I think if today had been PE day for him, he would have had me take him to school (it's library day, he doesn't seem to care about that)  While he's been distracted with the spelling and the video game, I asked if anyone picks on him at school.  He said yes, Angelo.  Asked him why Angelo picks on him, he said because Angelo says he (DS) is mean.  Said Angelo only picks on him in PE, never in the classroom, and that they are friends in the classroom.  When I ask how he's picking on him, he says Angelo tells on him, and that one time he hit him. (Angelo hit DS)  Sounds like normal tattle-tale stuff to me?  I'm not seeing any red flags, and his brother is continuing the conversation to see if we get any further info.  PE is his favorite class, however, and if he'd figured out today is PE day, I'm pretty sure he would have insisted on going.  (It's not though, he says it's library day)

 

He WANTS to go back to school tomorrow, he does not want to finish the year early.  I guess I don't really know anything more than I did last night, ugh.  But, we won't pull him if he wants to stay in.

 

Someone upthread said they were surprised by some of the responses on a homeschool forum, particularly given his age.  I am, too.  Soooo many times, I see it said to deschool/unschool after withdrawal, so I was quite shocked by some of the responses.  It's been interesting seeing everyone's PoV on this, I'm glad it wasn't a JAWM thread!

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I thought we must be neighbors. (Chesapeake) The truancy laws around here are insane. It's actually the thing that pushed us over to committing to homeschool instead of PS, since the assistant principal at our zoned school told me that his dad's homecoming from deployment day would be an unexcused absence. On a practical level, we would have been in truancy court by mid-October. On a philosophical level, they do not own my children, thank-you-very-much, and I object to the idea that they are the best judge of where my six-year-old should be on any given day.

 

 

For you folks above...why do you say that?  

 

 

I would LOVE to not pull, but the truancy laws here are crazy.  (Well, I guess they aren't crazy, but I'd be violating them, something I'd rather avoid LOL)

 

 

 

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I thought we must be neighbors. (Chesapeake) The truancy laws around here are insane. It's actually the thing that pushed us over to committing to homeschool instead of PS, since the assistant principal at our zoned school told me that his dad's homecoming from deployment day would be an unexcused absence. On a practical level, we would have been in truancy court by mid-October. On a philosophical level, they do not own my children, thank-you-very-much, and I object to the idea that they are the best judge of where my six-year-old should be on any given day.

 

We anticipated LOTS of issues with the school, enrolling him was a first-class nightmare, and I almost said to hell with it then.  Finally enrolled him using McKinney-Vento (and the school district called the housing office...and then tried to refuse McKinney-Vento because we had turned down a house, so they said we didn't qualify for it...all over SIXTEEN DAYS).  The next morning when we walked into the school, the principal greeted us and said, while wearing a Cheshire Cat grin, that she was sure we would want to know she called the installation's COMMANDER to let him/her know s/he had a HOMELESS XXX rank...

 

If it hadn't been 8am (I am not functional that time of morning, and I had just driven in the lovely I-64 traffic for 45 minutes to get kid to said school) and I had been totally coherent, I would have turned around and walked right back out and sent in my notice of intent immediately.  (I had curriculum with us while we lived in the camper, just in case)  Yes, an hour later, while perusing Sam's, we got a phone call from said Commander....  Thankfully s/he laughed it off when told the situation and why we used the homeless act to enroll.  (Seriously, DS was 5 years old, had already been in school in another state for a month, moved cross country, out for 2 school days while we figured out where in 50 options we were going to live, got a letter from housing stating when we would be moving in (which is ALL the school said we needed) and because our move-in date was 46 days out, school said we couldn't enroll there, had to enroll him where our camper was (incidentally, not a place that was even zoned for a school district, which is a whole 'other can of worms lol) until we were within 30 days out from being in district.  I'm like WTF, you want a KINDERGARTEN student, who has already attended one school for a month, to attend ANOTHER school for 16 days, and then a THIRD school for the remainder of the year??!  Hell no.)

 

Anyway, after all that, we thought we'd have a lot of issues...which we weren't looking forward to because we were supposed to go TDY for several weeks (both DH and I were supposed to go), my dad was ill and I wanted to go home ASAP for a visit (we only planned to go a week before Christmas break).  But, we ended up going home weeks before planned (my dad died before we got there) with no issues, they did say I would have to disenroll him for the TDY but he would be put back in the same class when we got back and reenrolled.  Every absence has been excused, even when I pulled him to go visit his sister's work in VA Beach for the day (it was educational tho, she's also in the military).  In general, I will actually miss the school (something I've never, ever said before about a non-DoD school).

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Someone upthread said they were surprised by some of the responses on a homeschool forum, particularly given his age.  I am, too.  Soooo many times, I see it said to deschool/unschool after withdrawal, so I was quite shocked by some of the responses.  It's been interesting seeing everyone's PoV on this, I'm glad it wasn't a JAWM thread!

 

I don't think it's that surprising. It sounds like you're only planning to homeschool temporarily, and when you utilize the public schools, you have to play by their rules, unfortunately. Taking several weeks off to play isn't something most schools will be too happy about. 

 

Have you considered just homeschooling him indefinitely? It sounds like with what you're planning he's going to continually have just enough time to get used to one lifestyle before he has to switch to another one. You're going to be doing a lot of deschooling and, I guess, reschooling if he's going to be hopping back and forth.

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I don't think it's that surprising. It sounds like you're only planning to homeschool temporarily, and when you utilize the public schools, you have to play by their rules, unfortunately. Taking several weeks off to play isn't something most schools will be too happy about. 

 

Have you considered just homeschooling him indefinitely? It sounds like with what you're planning he's going to continually have just enough time to get used to one lifestyle before he has to switch to another one. You're going to be doing a lot of deschooling and, I guess, reschooling if he's going to be hopping back and forth.

 

I guess 3 years is temporarily.  I HAVE had children in school before, and I do play by their rules.  I wouldn't have even considered this if 1) he hadn't already attended a full school year from the time HE started, 2) he was much older 3) we weren't moving literally the last day of school.  Him being in K...for him, K didn't matter a whole lot academically.  (I'm not saying he hasn't learned very valuable social skills, and some academic skills, but he wasn't there for the scope and sequence of K, he already knew it.  He IS in gifted, but he wasn't even tested for it until March, services didn't start until the end of April.  I don't know yet exactly what HIS class is doing, but according to the 4th and 5th graders at his school in the neighborhood, they're watching movies and drawing this week, having finished testing last week.)  I'm not talking about pulling him out of a school early that he will attend next year, either.  (I wouldn't consider it if we weren't moving.)  And, all that doesn't matter, HE doesn't want to be withdrawn.

 

Yes, I have considered homeschooling him indefinitely.  I'm fairly certain that IS our future, or private school.  For some reason, he did not figure into where we bought our retirement home.  I know that sounds really stupid, but he came after years of being told we couldn't have any more kids, DH was about to retire, we'd spent years deciding on where we were going to retire.  We just went with that when time for retirement came, and the fact that we had this surprise newborn didn't really figure into it.  Also, we'd been homeschooling all of our other children for 8 or so years at that point, so considering the school district just didn't compute.  I don't really have any excuse for it, other than the fact I was deathly ill and having surgery every other day (for a month) when we chose our house and went to contract on it.  He was about 6 months old when it clicked in my head, "OMG, this is the worst school district my kids were ever in  (out of the 7 they'd attended), WHY did we buy a house here?"  That is something we will have to deal with down the road, and it MAY mean homeschooling, or it may mean the private schools in that area.  I do intend to HS him with the plan of going back into public school in that district, though, because I know how anal they are about testing for grade level.

 

I don't deschool, never have, can't see a situation where I would.  I pretty much school at home, but a much shorter day.  BUT...I see it all the time in HS groups/forums, so it was just a bit of surprise to see the contrasting opinions here.

 

It's unlikely he will be doing a lot of hopping back and forth, and this will be the first time I have ever pulled a child out of school to HS because I did not care for the district.  (I have switched them to a different district when it wasn't absolutely required for a short move, because I didn't like the district)  My kids have always been "schooled" at home in addition to their public schooling, even when they were in amazing schools and in amazing gifted programs that challenged them.  The district we are moving to doesn't have a gifted program.  OK, no biggie, we'll add work at home.  And then I met two parents whose kids were told (when finishing their work quickly), "The golden rule in this school is to stay on track with your peers."  Ummm, no.  I would lose my mind if someone said that to my child.  I am OK with a school not being able to challenge my child, I am not OK with them intentionally holding him back.  THAT and a few other reasons are why we will be HSing while we live in that district.

 

(As a general rule, I'm not OK with gifted students not being met on their level, however I do understand budgets and understand that some areas simply don't have the money/resources for it.  For MY gifted child, I will work with them at home.  Other parents who feel their child's educational needs aren't being met probably have different thoughts on it, and that's fine...these are just *my* thoughts for *my* kids.)

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