Summer experiences begin!

[Granny_Weatherwax]

DS is home from Japan and is using his two days at home to sleep and take care of business.  Then it's off to his summer internship and learning to be truly independent.  No college cafeteria to rely on or cleaning staff to keep the bathroom clean.  We are lucky in that we received a bit of a refund from his college for room and board since DS was off campus for 6 weeks.  That will help over his summer expenses.  He was quite frugal in Japan (he didn't bring home any souvenirs :glare:, just the trinkets he made in his Japanese culture workshops) and came home with a sizable amount and he's going to apply that toward his summer expenses. With what I have left from my hiking fund and these other two sources, he should be able to pay his expenses and have a bit left over to sight see and have some fun.

 

DS needs a car so I am letting him take mine. That means DH and I have to share a vehicle all summer.  Luckily I am not working (thanks to the cancelled AT hike) so it shouldn't be too much of a problem, especially when DD's plans are considered.

 

DD is taking summer classes and trying to work as much as she can.  She would like to become more independent, move out this fall, and graduate in December.  It means more babysitting for me which is fine since I don't have any plans and will be sharing a vehicle with DH.  We have been in a holding pattern with DD and DGD and we are all ready for the 'next step'; we just don't know what that will look like.

 

 

 

 

[FaithManor]

Sounds like a great experience, Scoutermom!

 

Our ds just got in last night from his visit with family friends - as well as to see his girlfriend - in Missouri. They met through a mutual friend. She seems to be a lovely girl and just completed her freshman year studying to become a radiologist. He is sleeping today, applying for his passport tomorrow, and then coming to visit us for a couple of days. After that, he has five tutoring students whom he will meet with 3 hours a week per student for $15.00 an hour which makes him very happy. His utilities and rent are so cheap on his efficiency apartment that tutoring will pay for all of his expenses. So he's pretty happy. He will be able to keep his job in the fall as well. 

 

I finished P's final transcript today. Orientation and registration next week, and the week after the family and friends graduation party for him. Never a dull moment! 

[MysteryJen]

Ds1 is home with a coaching gig lined up for summer. He is looking for part time work to fit around it, but lots of jobs want all hours available even for very part time work. So we will see...

Ds2 leaves for Japan in 3 weeks. He is going to train at the Kodokan for two weeks.

Dd1 is on the homestretch. Two meets in a row, then her grad/going away party. She is leaving on June 24 for trials, swims her two races and after the last one, she is driving out with Dh to VT for the freshman summer session and training with the team.

My summer is a miserable mess of swimming doubles all over creation,(losing dd1 as a driver is going to hurt), uncertain travel swim plans, and "fun" extended family obligations.

 

Our summer is truncated because dd2 is heading to ps for high school in August. It is her choice and she is excited, but it makes for a short summer when school starts August 16th.

[plansrme]

My 18 yo's high school graduation is going on right this minute, without her, while she is ordering breakfast from a food cart on a street in China and interpreting for eight other people as they order their own breakfasts. She does not seem at all sad to be missing the ceremony. She reports that she is using her Chinese a lot and that everyone to whom she has talked seems delighted to hear her speak at least passable Chinese. Oh, yeah, classes--they are going on too, I suppose!

[Laura in CA]

My 19yo son had one weekend off before starting his summer job. Orientation was in Silicon Valley last week, and now he is in their Seattle office. He is enjoying the cloudy, cool weather and being in a big city with good coffee. :) He got his ORCA card (for public transit). We are looking forward to visiting him in a few weeks and playing tourist -- we will take a ferry to Canada, which I haven't done since spring break when *I* was in college ... :)

He got approval from his company to take a week off mid-summer to attend a family reunion in Korea. Then he signed up for a half-marathon the day after he gets back; luckily he decided against doing the full marathon (!) -- I think he has forgotten how brutal jet lag can be!

 

Update: Apparently (we had to hear this through 20yo son, since 19yo is a man of few words  :glare: ), 19yo's first project was supposed to take him 2 weeks and he finished in less than 3 days, and also fixed a bug that users had been complaining about (for years!) in online forums. Sounds like he is making a name for himself -- which would be good, b/c this would be a great company for a permanent job. He says, he's afraid he has set the bar too high now, and will have to live up to his reputation for the rest of the summer  :lol:

 

20yo son is taking summer classes, working 20 hours a week at his job at a research lab, doing a lot of hiking and biking, and getting more involved at his church -- he even signed up for the grounds crew and the sound team. He has a lot of people for us to meet when we visit him soon.

 

 

Edited June 1, 2016 by Laura in CA

[J-rap]

Multiple experiences going on...

 

One dd's college was done very early -- a month ago!  She got to be home with us for a month, and just left yesterday for the West Coast where she'll be working for the summer (20 minutes away from her closest-in-age sister, so very fun for them!).  Recently graduated ds (as of two weeks ago) is in Columbia with his dw, about to go on a two-week trans-Atlantic cruise -- one of those cruises where they're actually just returning it to port, so you don't get all the fancy services (just meals and a bed), and it's far, far cheaper.  (Also, a Spanish cruise-line.)  They'll end up in Portugal where they'll stay for two weeks.  They're both writers/artists, so the point is to relax together and write.  DD who graduated in December is working now in two jobs she loves, and she and her dh just moved into their new adorably cute and tiny apt. with their sweet rescue dog a couple weeks ago.  DD who graduated last year is finishing up a year teaching abroad and then traveling through Thailand.  She gets to come home and hang out with us for a month or two while she regroups.  We, in the meantime, get to babysit ds's cat for a month.  :)

[Luckymama]

Rising senior D will be living at home this summer, juggling a directing internship with the state Shakespeare Festival and her parttime retail job. We moved her out of the dorm yesterday :)

 

Rising high school senior D will be starting classes Tuesday at a university 1000 miles away. We're flying with her Monday to check out the school and particular programs since it's a contender for college :) She'll be there for four weeks, then to CA to visit her older brother (we'll go there as well) for the intersession break, return for another four weeks, and then to Florida to meet us and her best friend at WDW :D

 

This morning we signed up for TSA Precheck :lol:

[Gwen in VA]

My oldest is graduating with a Ph.D. in a few weeks, so right now she is job-hunting......

 

#2 and #3 are gainfully employed (yay!) in the adult world.

 

#4 is going to have a wonderful crazy summer. She has a job as church organist in the town where her college is (about 4 hours from home) so she needs to be there on Sundays. She will spend the weekdays at home working as a musician at a local place. (Yes, she is one of a few music majors out there who will earn good money this summer completely by making music!) And she is getting paid to learn how to play the baroque flute! :001_smile:

 

She will definitely rack up a lot of miles on her car, but it should be a great summer for her.

[bettyandbob]

Ds21 is home lifeguarding part time and taking 6 credits online through his school. He was supposed to take a class at the local cc. They cancelled it. He needs that class. So he decided to do the online classes and hopefully free up his spring term to take this class because it's necessary to graduate.

 

Dd is graduating high school in 3 weeks. She is do done with school. Her final dance recitals are scheduled before the same day as graduation and the day after. Then the day after that she leaves for two weeks of camp, no electronics nature study in the Blue Ridge. I love that she requested to do that one last time and didn't ask to go to beach week. I pick her up from camp and she, her little brother and I will will do some beach camping. Then she will teach swimming. She will also be in charge of getting younger brother to swim team and then to spec ed summer school. She will also be on swim team one last time. She has orientation at her college in the middle of that.

 

It's all going to blow by. Both of the older two get taken to different colleges the same weekend.

[bettyandbob]

I realized the other day that this is the first year in 20 that we've not done swim team!

But based on the list of activities you have, I think you need Mrs. Weasley's kitchen clock.

[MerryAtHope]

DS left right after his semester ended for a 3-week summer training program with Navigators. They're doing Bible study, working to get a camp ready for the summer season, and some street evangelism. A stretching experience in many ways! But it's been good so far. When he gets back, he'll be looking for a part-time summer job, if there are any left here. 

[creekland]

In general, middle son is working in his lab (at college) all summer (for really good pay) and youngest is working for one of the youth organizations (also for pay) that mine attended in their youth.  He's at home so also returned to his "farm hand" gig for us.

 

At the moment, I'm looking out over Lake Ontario (literally) waiting for family members to get up... (though youngest couldn't come with us due to his job).  

 

Yesterday we prowled around the 1000 Islands going up in the Tower, then heading to Kingston (Ont) for lunch and to reconnect a little with it since I hadn't been in years (really nice river city), then back to NY via the car ferries (we love ferries) rather than bridges.  We spent the evening - well into the night and almost to morning - playing cards together.

 

That's actually the summer I love the most - prowling around places and spending nights playing games.   :coolgleamA:

 

Soon it will be back to gardening and pony training though, but only until the next trip.

[plansrme]

Heard from my girl in China again today.  She and a group of about 8 or 9 other students spent the weekend in Beijing, which was about 30 minutes from their current campus via the bullet train.  They stayed in a backpacker's hostel and toured the Great Wall, the Summer Palace and a couple of other places.  She is still interpreting a lot for the group, which includes an ethnic Chinese student who does not speak a lick of Chinese.  Locals try to talk to him, and he refers them to the blonde/blue-eyed girl instead, much to their amusement.  She says Beijing is full of Chinese tourists right now who haven't seen that many foreigners, so they've attracted a lot of attention.  She finally sent a couple of pics that have people in them, including her, and she looks really, really happy.  One of the pics was of the travel group sitting on the Great Wall, legs dangling over the edge of something, with the sun setting behind them.  Nah, I'm not jealous; why do you ask???

[GoodGrief]

D21 is on the quarter system, so still finishing up her junior year; she  will be interning without pay for a nonprofit in the Seattle area that helps resettle refugees. Really hoping it goes well!

 

D18, our recent high school graduate, will be working for a local Chinese travel agency, selling tours to travelers from China. She has not done any international immersion experiences with her language studies, so hopefully this will be educational as well as profitable! She is also heavily involved in mountain racing, and is looking forward to the upcoming season.

[TravelingChris]

DD1 is taking a full schedule of online classes at Arizona State and is still looking for a job.

 

DD2 is home for the summer. still recuperating from her tonsillectomy two weeks and one day ago.  She came home from school with a sinus infection that later turned to bronchitis.  So she has been under the weather for weeks now.

 

SHe is taking 7 credits at the local university and plans to help with VBS next week.

[Jenny in Florida]

My son finished up the spring semester the second week of May. He went right into training for his summer job and threw himself at finishing up the costumes he was making for himself and his girlfriend to wear to the big sci-fi convention. 

 

He's been recruited to make a guest appearance in the recital production number for his former dance studio. He auditioned for a community theatre production and didn't get the part he wanted, but was cast in the show, meaning he is now rehearsing three or four evenings a week. 

 

Last weekend, he fell headlong into deciding he doesn't want to go back to the university in the fall. He really wants to be able to study theatre design and tech, and the college he's attending doesn't offer even a minor in the subject. He's spent the past few days figuring out a new plan, sending e-mails, requesting transcripts, etc.

 

So, it looks like the rest of his summer will consist of working, rehearsing, performing, jumping through whatever hoops are necessary to make the transfer happen, registering at the new school, continuing to help his girlfried adjust to college, deciding what local dance school/studio/program he will attend next year.

Edited June 3, 2016 by Jenny in Florida

[Granny_Weatherwax]

DS's experience isn't shaping up to what we thought it would be and we are considering bringing him home.  There has been significant miscommunication between the offices at Emory.  One supervisor (working indirectly with DS) has been emailing DS and set up his orientation and medical exam for last week.  I took DS to Atlanta, moved him into his sublet and helped him for a couple of days and then left.  Evidently the other supervisor, the one DS will be working with directly, did not read the group email and claims to have had no idea DS was in Atlanta or when he would be available.  Hello?  How could she not read two weeks worth of email?  So DS is sitting in Atlanta not doing a dratted thing this week as his orientation was completed last week.

 

He was told in his acceptance letter that he would be working 40 hours a week.  Now the supervisor is telling him maybe 20.  This is disheartening as it's an unpaid internship and DH and I are using precious resources to pay for DS to be there as well as giving him my car for the duration of his stay.  DS could have been working at Boy Scout camp and making an income this summer. We all thought the internship wold be better experience and open doors.  So far it's costing us money and providing nothing but frustration. 

 

 

I've told DS to email his advisor at his college as he is the one who helped DS get the internship. 

 

 

The good part is DS's sublet is wonderful.  We couldn't have found a better place for DS.  If anyone needs a place in Atlanta, let me know.  I would definitely recommend DS's landlord.

 

 

The good part is DS's sublet is wonderful.  We couldn't have found a better place for DS.  If anyone needs a place in Atlanta, let me know.  I would definitely recommend DS's landlord.

[*LC]

Sorry to hear the internship is off to a rocky. Start. My oldest had aa rocky start to the research project she worked on after frehman year. It turned out ok, but wasnkt exactly what she envisioned. Last fall, she was at a caareeer fair and someone was extremely interested in the experience she gained during the REU. All that to say,down the road no one will know if the internship was 20 hours or 40 hours. Since it is unpaid I don't see less hours as a big problem. With the extra time, maybe he can find a part-time job or talk to the professor from the group email to see if they need help with another project.

 

It is a shaame when things donkt go as planned.

 

DS's experience isn't shaping up to what we thought it would be and we are considering bringing him home. There has been significant miscommunication between the offices at Emory. One supervisor (working indirectly with DS) has been emailing DS and set up his orientation and medical exam for last week. I took DS to Atlanta, moved him into his sublet and helped him for a couple of days and then left. Evidently the other supervisor, the one DS will be working with directly, did not read the group email and claims to have had no idea DS was in Atlanta or when he would be available. Hello? How could she not read two weeks worth of email? So DS is sitting in Atlanta not doing a dratted thing this week as his orientation was completed last week.

 

He was told in his acceptance letter that he would be working 40 hours a week. Now the supervisor is telling him maybe 20. This is disheartening as it's an unpaid internship and DH and I are using precious resources to pay for DS to be there as well as giving him my car for the duration of his stay. DS could have been working at Boy Scout camp and making an income this summer. We all thought the internship wold be better experience and open doors. So far it's costing us money and providing nothing but frustration.

 

 

I've told DS to email his advisor at his college as he is the one who helped DS get the internship.

 

 

The good part is DS's sublet is wonderful. We couldn't have found a better place for DS. If anyone needs a place in Atlanta, let me know. I would definitely recommend DS's landlord.

 

 

The good part is DS's sublet is wonderful. We couldn't have found a better place for DS. If anyone needs a place in Atlanta, let me know. I would definitely recommend DS's landlord.

[plansrme]

DS's experience isn't shaping up to what we thought it would be and we are considering bringing him home.  There has been significant miscommunication between the offices at Emory.  One supervisor (working indirectly with DS) has been emailing DS and set up his orientation and medical exam for last week.  I took DS to Atlanta, moved him into his sublet and helped him for a couple of days and then left.  Evidently the other supervisor, the one DS will be working with directly, did not read the group email and claims to have had no idea DS was in Atlanta or when he would be available.  Hello?  How could she not read two weeks worth of email?  So DS is sitting in Atlanta not doing a dratted thing this week as his orientation was completed last week.

 

He was told in his acceptance letter that he would be working 40 hours a week.  Now the supervisor is telling him maybe 20.  This is disheartening as it's an unpaid internship and DH and I are using precious resources to pay for DS to be there as well as giving him my car for the duration of his stay.  DS could have been working at Boy Scout camp and making an income this summer. We all thought the internship wold be better experience and open doors.  So far it's costing us money and providing nothing but frustration. 

 

 

I've told DS to email his advisor at his college as he is the one who helped DS get the internship. 

 

 

The good part is DS's sublet is wonderful.  We couldn't have found a better place for DS.  If anyone needs a place in Atlanta, let me know.  I would definitely recommend DS's landlord.

 

 

The good part is DS's sublet is wonderful.  We couldn't have found a better place for DS.  If anyone needs a place in Atlanta, let me know.  I would definitely recommend DS's landlord.

 

I'm so bummed to hear that the internship isn't shaping up as he'd hoped.  If it is any comfort, Memorial Day Week is dead in Atlanta.  Everyone leaves town or checks out (because everyone else has left town) even if they don't leave town.  I hardly bother to go to my office because none of my clients are in their offices.  Fingers crossed for a better week this week.

[JanetC]

That is horrible! I am so sorry. DS should definitely email the professor that got him the internship and ask for advice.

On the one hand, the job is not what was expected. On the other hand, if he bails, he could be the one that looks bad if he hasn't exhausted his means of trying to resolve the problem.

[Granny_Weatherwax]

9 hours.  That's all he is scheduled for.  Ugh.  :(

 

This is such a complete waste of resources.  I don't know if he will be able to get a part time job in the city as I don't know what employment rates are down there.  

I've told him (again) to contact his adviser to see if there is anything that can be done.  We simply cannot afford to keep him there for only 9 hours a week.

 

I don't know what else he could have done.  The acceptance letter discusses a FT internship.  There was no reason for him to think that he wouldn't have 40 hours.  

 

Do we let him stay this month since we've already gone to the expenses for travel and subletting?  Do we cut our losses and bring him home in July? The money for the sublet and living expenses could be used for tuition for next year.  It's too late for him to find employment in our area but at least we wouldn't be losing any more money for 9 hours a week.

 

[Granny_Weatherwax]

I'm so bummed to hear that the internship isn't shaping up as he'd hoped.  If it is any comfort, Memorial Day Week is dead in Atlanta.  Everyone leaves town or checks out (because everyone else has left town) even if they don't leave town.  I hardly bother to go to my office because none of my clients are in their offices.  Fingers crossed for a better week this week.

Dead?  Traffic was awful.  I wonder what traffic is like on a busy weekend??!!??  I could have walked faster than traffic was moving. I did notice that there were few people downtown when we stopped for coffee on Saturday morning.  I wish I would have had time to do some sightseeing.  The exhibit at the botanical gardens looked promising.

[daijobu]

9 hours.  That's all he is scheduled for.  Ugh.   :(

 

This is such a complete waste of resources.  I don't know if he will be able to get a part time job in the city as I don't know what employment rates are down there.  

I've told him (again) to contact his adviser to see if there is anything that can be done.  We simply cannot afford to keep him there for only 9 hours a week.

 

I don't know what else he could have done.  The acceptance letter discusses a FT internship.  There was no reason for him to think that he wouldn't have 40 hours.  

 

Do we let him stay this month since we've already gone to the expenses for travel and subletting?  Do we cut our losses and bring him home in July? The money for the sublet and living expenses could be used for tuition for next year.  It's too late for him to find employment in our area but at least we wouldn't be losing any more money for 9 hours a week.

 

Could you describe the internship in more detail.  I'm trying to get at whether this is a high quality placement with a lot of potential for learning and prestige.  Is he to be involved with research or is he washing test tubes in a lab?  

 

It sounds like it's unpaid, so what's stopping him from hanging around and working more hours than scheduled?  Is he on a college campus?  Could he look into working in another lab in the same department?  

 

With more details, we could help you evaluate how worthwhile this placement is, or whether he should bail.  

 

Taking on an intern and giving them a high quality experience is a lot of work for the supervisor.  If an intern is paid, then you can just put them to work doing scut work, but if they are unpaid (in money), you want to "pay" them with a solid learning experience, which is harder to do.  Having said that, it happens all the time.  With the whole summer ahead of him, there is the potential for him to carve out something for himself as he gets familiar with the research going on.   (This doesn't negate the fact that he was offered FT work this summer and they reneged; I don't mean to offer excuses for them.)

[daijobu]

My oldest had aa rocky start to the research project she worked on after frehman year. It turned out ok, but wasnkt exactly what she envisioned. Last fall, she was at a caareeer fair and someone was extremely interested in the experience she gained during the REU. All that to say,down the road no one will know if the internship was 20 hours or 40 hours. Since it is unpaid I don't see less hours as a big problem. With the extra time, maybe he can find a part-time job or talk to the professor from the group email to see if they need help with another project.

 

 

 

:iagree: Often it isn't so much how impressive a student's work is, so much as how impressive it sounds to a third party who wasn't there, i.e., the interviewer.  

 

There's also the potential for a good story about perseverance here.  It would be cool if his 9 hour internship turned which was initially disappointing turned into a full blown cool opportunity by the end of the summer.  That would also impress interviewers.  Job recruiters don't really want to hear from people who were disappointed in their jobs and quit after 1 week.  

 

I'm inclined to not give up yet, but it'd difficult to say without specifics on his job.  

[JanetC]

This is all very weird. What is he doing on his internship? I cannot imagine any kind of lab where the hours given to the UNPAID help are limited in that way. If none of the professors have any work for him to do and he wants to stay, have him start meeting grad students. When he finds someone he likes, have him ask, "Do you need any help with that?" Grad students are almost always overworked and welcome assistance if he is capable.

[Granny_Weatherwax]

He's working at a well known university in Atlanta.  At present he is coding video tapes of subjects for future analysis.  He says the work is interesting and he is happy to do it.  No one has mentioned other work and I told him (again) to get out there and ask for more tasks no matter how tedious or menial they may seem.

 

He works this morning but then doesn't have to show up again until Tuesday.  That's a 4.5 day weekend.  I told him if he can't find more hours with the university he needs to look for a job to fill those 4.5 days. 

[daijobu]

He's working at a well known university in Atlanta.  At present he is coding video tapes of subjects for future analysis.  He says the work is interesting and he is happy to do it.  No one has mentioned other work and I told him (again) to get out there and ask for more tasks no matter how tedious or menial they may seem.

 

He works this morning but then doesn't have to show up again until Tuesday.  That's a 4.5 day weekend.  I told him if he can't find more hours with the university he needs to look for a job to fill those 4.5 days. 

 

Yeah, that's pretty appalling.  What would happen if he showed up anyway on Friday or Monday?  Is no one working there?  Can he start wandering around and trying to meet someone friendly and in need of help?  Or maybe he can email professors individually about his situation and see if they have space for him.  He can just explain what happened and how he's really interested in their work and wants to help out.  

 

It won't be easy, but it's worth a try to save his summer.  

[daijobu]

And unfair.  It just isn't fair to make a kid walk around among strangers asking for work.  

[Granny_Weatherwax]

He could still work summer camp...they dont start here until public school ends at the end of June.

 

Is he working on the project that he was offered?

Our camp staff was hired and trained months ago. First week of camp begins Sunday afternoon. School has been out here for two weeks already

 

I had no idea public schools still went until late June.  If schools aren't out here by late May, people are throwing fits and complaining about cutting into summer break.

 

Yes, he is working on the planned project just at fewer hours than anticipated.

[Lawyer&Mom]

I'd keep the internship. It will still be a line item on his resume. Is there anything he could self study during his extra time to get a leg up on next semester?

[Granny_Weatherwax]

(please don't quote; I just need to vent and will delete this in a bit)This is how I feel this morning -  :banghead:  :banghead:  :banghead:

 

It's the end of the month and nothing is any different in Atlanta. I know DS did his best to find a good research internship and he wants to work. He has asked every person he knows down there for more responsibility and more hours. The blanket excuse is it takes too long to train people to do the other jobs and since he's only there for 3 months there wasn't enough time. At this point I think they are just giving him the run around.  It's heart breaking.  He had to get a physical and immunizations, purchase special clothing, etc. for this internship. He went to a lot of effort to be prepared. He is more than capable of doing difficult work.

 

I don't know what I could have done to help him vet this particular position as it came through his academic department at his university. I know that this cannot be indicative of other summer internships. I don't even know how to advise him about what to do in the future. He did everything I would have done.

 

He's miserable and wants to come home.  This internship has become a hardship.  We calculated that his internship is costing us $66 an hour. When we take into account his living expenses, travel expenses, his lost wages, increased car insurance premiums to be in Atlanta...well, it's impractical.  DH and I are sharing a vehicle since I gave my car to DS so he could get around Atlanta. I'm cutting expenses at home in every way so that we will be able to cover DS's contribution for next year's bill (which is difficult since we haven't received his financial aid package yet).  DH is angry about the entire situation and is a firm believer that internships are a waste of time and that DS needs to work during breaks from now on. 

<deleted>

 

:(

 

I think I"ll go take the dog to the nature center. Getting outside at least provides a distraction.

 

Edited June 29, 2016 by ScoutermominIL

[daijobu]

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug: I agree; there was nothing you could have done to prevent the situation.  What a terrible way to treat your son.  Really just awful.  Best of luck to you.  

[Alessandra]

DS is home from Japan and is using his two days at home to sleep and take care of business. Then it's off to his summer internship and learning to be truly independent. No college cafeteria to rely on or cleaning staff to keep the bathroom clean. We are lucky in that we received a bit of a refund from his college for room and board since DS was off campus for 6 weeks. That will help over his summer expenses. He was quite frugal in Japan (he didn't bring home any souvenirs :glare:, just the trinkets he made in his Japanese culture workshops) and came home with a sizable amount and he's going to apply that toward his summer expenses. With what I have left from my hiking fund and these other two sources, he should be able to pay his expenses and have a bit left over to sight see and have some fun.

 

DS needs a car so I am letting him take mine. That means DH and I have to share a vehicle all summer. Luckily I am not working (thanks to the cancelled AT hike) so it shouldn't be too much of a problem, especially when DD's plans are considered.

 

DD is taking summer classes and trying to work as much as she can. She would like to become more independent, move out this fall, and graduate in December. It means more babysitting for me which is fine since I don't have any plans and will be sharing a vehicle with DH. We have been in a holding pattern with DD and DGD and we are all ready for the 'next step'; we just don't know what that will look like.

I must have missed something. What happened to the AT hike?

[creekland]

This is how I feel this morning -  :banghead:  :banghead:  :banghead:

 

Only quoting this bit, but offering  :grouphug: for the whole thing.

 

The ideal world is wonderful.  The real world often comes with major issues.  I've spent most of this morning trying to distract myself from the real world too - and other parts just immersing myself in it (which probably isn't good).  I wish we lived close enough together to share that walk.

[regentrude]

. 

 

Edited June 29, 2016 by regentrude

[regentrude]

Hugs, this is frustrating. 

And I am sorry about your health concerns and everything you have going on; sending good thoughts.

 

If you don't mind me asking: was your health the reason you cancelled your hike? I am sorry you could not make that dream come true.

Edited June 29, 2016 by regentrude

[Granny_Weatherwax]

I must have missed something. What happened to the AT hike?

DS was accepted to study abroad in Japan. He was awarded a scholarship to cover tuition, room & board, fees, and books.  He needed money for plane fare and personal expenses. Since his work study money went toward his ongoing expenses and I am attempting to keep him loan free, I gifted him with my AT funds.  I had just enough to cover his trip to Japan and most of his summer expenses for the internship, which he applied for and received right before he left for Japan.  There was nothing left over for me, however; I figure I'll try again after he graduates and I will no longer have to worry about EFCs, internships, or what other expenses will arise.

[Granny_Weatherwax]

Hugs, this is frustrating. 

And I am sorry about your health concerns and everything you have going on; sending good thoughts.

 

If you don't mind me asking: was your health the reason you cancelled your hike? I am sorry you could not make that dream come true.

Thank you for the kind thoughts.

 

No, my health had nothing to do with it.  See ^ for my reasons for not going.  The health issues began about three months ago.  I thought I was experiencing complications from a spider bite and didn't really pay much attention to them but evidently there may be more to it.

[8filltheheart]

Wow, ScoutMominIL, you have a lot going on. Personally, I would let him scrub the internship and bring him home and count it all history. You have too much to think about without stressing over that, too. Let him come home and do what he can to salvage what remains of the summer, even if it is just spending wonderful family time together. Time with them is precious, and at the expense you are facing from this internship, I would put it at a much higher premium.

 

Prayers for positive outcomes and benign results. (((( hugs))))

[Alessandra]

I am so sorry to hear what is going on. The internship situation sounds devastating. You all have given up so much, and the University is killing you. How awful.

 

Please try to forget about your high school friends. I presume the ones who are not CEOs or Pulitizer prize winners are not writing in, and the others could be exaggerating, lol. Besides raising a great son is more important, and you have done that.

[Granny_Weatherwax]

<snip>

With the Atlanta situation, could your son work a part time job in addition to the research position? I dont understand the math that adds up to 66/hr cost ( I am guessing he would have been working an oil field job if no REU), but anything he could make would offset the living expenses.

He's working 9 hours a week.

 

We are paying rent, groceries, gas, round trip travel to and from our hometown to Atlanta, the increase in insurance premiums for having a car in Atlanta (the increase was twice our normal premium for DS; I can now understand why some urban dwellers choose not to have vehicles) and his lost wages for working at BSA camp for the summer. We also added in what his contribution was to tuition and expenses for 2015-2016 college year.  Since he's not working, we'll have to make up that amount.  When all of that is added up and divided by the number of hours he's actually working at the internship, it comes to $65.57 per hour.

 

His expenses would have been much less if he was working at BSA camp because there wouldn't have been rent or groceries since those are provided by the camp. Our car insurance would not have increased and we wouldn't have had the travel expenses (gas and hotels) of getting him to and from Atlanta.

 

Maybe I'm looking at it all wrong.  Is there another way?  (Asked with sincerity)

 

He has applied for a couple of summer positions but was turned down. Evidently, he told the employers he was only in town for two months. I have since tried telling him that omitting certain information is beneficial at times. In this case, flipping burgers for McDonald's did not necessitate complete transparency.  He was turned down at a bar/pub/restaurant by where he lives since he's not 21.

[creekland]

He's working 9 hours a week.

 

...

 

Maybe I'm looking at it all wrong.  Is there another way?  (Asked with sincerity)

 

He has applied for a couple of summer positions but was turned down. Evidently, he told the employers he was only in town for two months. I have since tried telling him that omitting certain information is beneficial at times. In this case, flipping burgers for McDonald's did not necessitate complete transparency.  He was turned down at a bar/pub/restaurant by where he lives since he's not 21.

 

Have him check with a temp agency.  They should know about any short term positions available, and with so many hours free, there could even be options.  With a little bit of luck, he might get more than minimum wage.  I know he would around here, but we have a low unemployment rate.  Many places need workers.  Some factories hire college help during the summer so their regular employees can more easily take time off.  I'm not sure about the area he is in.

[J-rap]

I'm sorry!  I've said this before, but I have been really caught by surprise at how much our 20-somethings still need our help.  But I'm so happy to help!  Life is complicated.  For just 9 hours/week, I don't think it's worth it.  Heck, he can still list on his resume that he had an internship at such and such place.  He doesn't have to list how long.  It sounds like he isn't paid anything at his internship either.  That just drives me nuts.  What is his area of study?  (it was probably listed earlier-- sorry.)

 

Can you bring him home and perhaps he can find some seasonal part-time job to make a little spending money now.  In our closest metro area, there are still summer openings, as people quit.  Also, there are summer events here that are still hiring part-time workers.  Two of my kids found last minute summer jobs.  One has an interview just tonight to work on a food truck for the remainder of the summer.

 

I know internships seem to be very important for those in science fields in particular.  But I think later in his education, if the opportunity arises, will still be plenty of time to get an internship.  

 

I have a nephew who is going into pharmaceutical, and he spent a lot of money to attend a national event that helps students in that area connect with an internship.  He's a bright kid and works hard.  In the end, all of the companies he had applied to work at while at that event actually had an intern lined up already, as it turns out.  Usually it was a child of a colleague or someone already in the industry.  That seems like such a scam!  I have a real problem with this pressure on internships!!

 

You take care!!!  

[creekland]

I'd be really hesitant to quit anything.  Word can get around.  The science world can be a small world (esp within projects) and networking is huge (esp being set up through his college).  Life often isn't what we want or expect, but making the best of what one has (even getting another job on the side if possible - shows work ethic) can speak wonders compared to quitting and leaving a lab with a position unfilled - even a minor one.

[Lawyer&Mom]

I think you are looking at this wrong. The benefit from the internship isn't the number of hours he works, or what he learns. The benefit is having the prestigious sounding internship on his resume. So long as he stays, he gets the full benefit. (Okay, perfect world he would learn lots and make great contacts, but alas that's not happening.) The name of the university will make his resume stand out. That's worth a lot. You are paying to signal his value to a future employer. In that regard it's a better deal than most summer jobs. It isn't fair, because affluent kids can more easily afford these opportunities, but it's how the game is played.

[daijobu]

It just occurred to me to share my own college internship experiences.  They weren't awesome.  I worked at a well known investment bank in Japan for a summer.  I worked at a used-to-be-huge technology company for a summer.  In both cases I was paid buckets of money to do very very very little.  I did some science research in a lab that didn't really amount to anything.   It was frustrating at the time, but boy did I look great on paper!  I was getting job interviews left and right.  

 

My dh pointed out that it can be hard for busy employees to carve out an interesting project for a summer intern.  Depending on their skills, interns typically take up more time than they contribute.  My dd is doing research in a great lab right now, but some of her colleagues showed up only to find the PhDs were on vacation!  There was nothing to do but sit around and read papers.  

 

Don't discount the "looking good on paper" aspect to these summer internships.  

[Granny_Weatherwax]

DS discovered some pertinent information.  Information that would have been nice to have had two months ago.

 

Evidently the good internships require a minimum 12 week commitment with a three week training component. DS submitted an availability of 10 weeks due to his being in Japan.  Had he known that about the 12 week commitment, he/we could have worked on finances and made it work for another month. 

 

 He still doesn't know what he is going to do after the holiday weekend.  He showed up to work his hours today and his supervisor had left to start her four day holiday weekend early.  He had no access to the computer room.  No message; no email; no communication.  :(

 

I can only imagine how frustrated he must be.  I wish he could home for the holiday.  Instead, he gets to remain in a city where he knows no one.  It breaks my heart.

 

 

[Lawyer&Mom]

One summer as a tax intern, I was paid gobs mostly to surf the Internet and to see how many online training modules I could finish. (I had stacks of completion certificates...). I think I got to work on *one* return the entire summer. I was so, so bored. But in the end, who cares. I got to put the name of a very major firm on my resume, and it totally helped me get my current position. That internship will be on my resume for the rest of my career. Now I have my own summer interns. They are a lot of work! I try to make the experience rewarding for them, but I know they will be able to leverage the name of my organization in their job search.

[creekland]

Over breaks my guy(s) hung around with others there for the summer.  They played games, watched TV or movies, and explored the cities they were in (or near).

 

Can you encourage him to try to make friends with someone?  It's short notice, but most kids that age are very open to newcomers joining in with the fun.  He can even BE the one offering plans and see if others want to join him.  He has a car...  My guys have been that person too - often.  Someone has to take the initiative. 

[Frances]

I'm so sorry to hear your son's internship is turning out to be an expensive dud. But like recent posters, I would also encourage him to stick with it. Since it's probably too late to do anything different even if he quits, having it on his resume is probably the biggest gain at this point. Plus, he will really know the important questions to ask and details to research when looking for his next one. Hopefully he can make some friends or at least use the time to volunteer, pursue his hobbies, or work out. Any chance family members or friends would be able to visit for a few days?

 

My son ended up hating his first college research experience which for reasons beyond his control turned out to be very different from what he signed up for. But he stuck it out for a full year (full-time for one summer and part-time for one school year) and ended up getting a publication out of it with only two other authors, both PhDs. And the professor in charge of the lab was very gracious and understanding when he left. He knew lots more when looking for his next position and ended up working one-on-one with one of his favorite professors and not in a full-blown research lab. But it looks like he is also going to get a publication and a poster at a research conference out of the new work, not to mention his senior thesis.

 

At this time last year, my son, like yours, was not in a happy place. Things are very different for him now, and I hope they will start looking better soon for your son.