Anyone with more than 1 child on "behavioral" meds

[Kathryn]

DS10 has ASD and ADHD. He's been medicated for 3 years now. I've put off having DS6 formally diagnosed ADHD, though we've talked to the doctor, because I couldn't wrap my head around having two children medicated. I didn't even want one medicated. But it's come to the point where it's really affecting him and I feel like I'm doing him a disservice because of my own issues with being perceived as a failure. He wants to talk to the doctor and see if he can get some help. 😟

Does anyone else have more than one medicated? Tell me I'm not a failure!

 

Edited autocorrect

Edited May 21, 2016 by Kathryn

[Harriet Vane]

:grouphug:  NOT a failure. Not by a long shot. On the contrary--you see a problem and are assessing solutions and management. That  is what good moms do. 

[LucyStoner]

We don't have two medicated...yet. My sons have both been diagnosed with ASD. Both have sensory, anxiety and some attention issues.

 

Our older son used to take an SSRI for anxiety. He's off that and when he turned 11 we started him on a very low dose of something to help with anger ans aggression.

 

Our younger son's ASD presents a lot differently than our older son's ASD. He was recently diagnosed and we are open to medication for him should he need it.

 

I felt pretty crappy about missing the younger one's ASD symptoms until he was nearly 7. I think I was trying to convince myself that he was NT because the idea of two on the spectrum seemed so difficult. I don't feel like a failure but I do feel a little sad at times that my genetic material seems to come with a high risk for ASD.

 

I get it's not my fault (and it's definitely not yours either!) but I totally see how you might be feeling facing potentially needing to medicate two children.

[gardenmom5]

we have a genetic mutation that has been linked to some forms of asd and adhd.

 

we treat that with targeted supplements - no conventional rx. (some of the supplements are at doses that are at rx levels - but can easily, for a price ugarte, be obtained otc. those we do rx because it's so much cheaper.)

[Loowit]

I have two on medications.  Youngest has OCD and anxiety.  He was also diagnosed with ODD, but his therapist thinks it was an incorrect diagnosis and his behavior is/was due to anxiety and has seen a dramatic improvement with therapy and medication, both taking him off medications that were contributing to behavior problems and adding in medications to help him regulate his behavior.

 

My eldest I thought was a neurotypical child.  She was a bright, sunny girl who was quick at making friends and loved life and people.  A couple years ago she began having panic attacks and was diagnosed with anxiety.  It has been a tough road for all of us.  She is currently on medication for it and is doing much better.

 

My middle child has sensory issues and ASD (depending on which doctor you talk to) along with some other things, but has not needed medication.  Occupational therapy was helpful for him.

 

For my children there is a strong genetic link to anxiety and depression on my side of the family, so I have guilt at times. 

[LucyStoner]

We do some supplements but have found it necessary at times to reach for conventional pharmaceuticals. I think the effective approach or combination of approaches for each child can vary so much. I am glad I let go of the needless guilt about needing to add different medications at different times with my older son.

Edited May 22, 2016 by LucyStoner

[Mrs. Tharp]

Yes, I do and no, you are not a failure.  I have one with ASD and one with ADHD. The older one is on meds for anxiety and attention. Both help him function more effectively. He just started Vyvanse for attention recently and has begged never to be taken off of it. The younger one takes Concerta for attention. With it he is able to focus enough to complete his work and follow directions. He really struggled with this before he started the medication and knows that the meds help him. We are helping him to develop additional tools to manage his symptoms. 

 

Do not feel bad about this. Their diagnoses have nothing to do with your parenting. If the child needs medication, it can be an immensely positive thing. 

[PinkyandtheBrains.]

 

 

You are not a failure. I have more than one on medication now. I missed the need for one until after the other was. Then things were much clearer.

[Tap]

LOL I have 3! plus Dh.  

 

 

DS21 is ADHD and has used meds since he was in 10th grade for it.

DD17 has been on meds for ADHD since she was in 10th grade as well.  

DH dropped out of school in 10th grade......didnt go on meds until he was an adult.

 

DO you notice a trend.  LOL 

 

When my kids were little, I could deal with the hyperactivity (with the freedom of homeschooling), Both of my older kids are very sweet people and were never problematic off meds.....just very, very active.  I could deal with the inattentiveness vs hyper foucus days.  It was when they both hit high school and had dead lines that they couldn't move, that the problems started.  I let both of my older kids choose when they take meds and when they don't.  

 

DH was on Ritalin as a kid and he was over medicated iwth the wrong meds and it was very hard on him.  He says that the meds slowed down his body, but not his mind.  He says he felt trapped in side.  He refused to try any meds again until he was an adult and saw the benefits that the older kids had.  

 

DD9 is on significant mental health meds and has been since she was 4yo.  One of her meds is for ADD (not the hyperactive type), but it manifests in a more negative way for her.  If she cant focus, she causes problems. for other people.  

 

 

ADHD is often linked in families, so it is very common to see multiple family members on ADD/ADHD meds. I work in pharmacy and honestly, it is never surprising to see multiple kids on meds in the same family.

Edited May 23, 2016 by Tap

[MomatHWTK]

:iagree:

[chiguirre]

Only GW is on meds, but not for lack of trying. Nothing we've tried has worked for Geezle and he's doing well enough that it's not urgent to keep trying. GW always asks for his meds if we forget so he must like the way they make him function.

[Kathryn]

Thank you. DS asked first thing this morning if it was Monday yet so we could call the doctor. He's so excited about the possibility of getting some help. DH,on the other hand, pulled him aside and told him some things medicine can't fix and you just have to deal with it and behave yourself. 😕

[rmtzc2009]

I've got 3 medicated, plus DH! You are not a failure! Quite the opposite, you are doing what's needed so each of your children can navigate life without this unneeded struggle. (Not suggesting they won't have struggles- meds really can help though with certain things)

[BooksandBoys]

We've been getting pressure to medicate DS8 for 3 years (ASD, ADHD). I finally decided to do a trial a few months ago because his ability to function in daily life had deteriorated so much and I was chronically frustrated, he was chronically frustrated, and DH was chronically frustrated. He's on the lowest dose of methylphenidate ER and it's made an amazing difference. He loves it. We're all feel better. It's no where near a sufficient dose for him to function in a school setting, but with all our accommodations at home, it's enough. He can finally use the accommodations (visual schedules, timers, etc) because he actually remembers that he has them! You aren't a failure when you do what's best for your kiddo.