Want to make an end of year gift to teacher / leader of special extracurricular. But don't know what is considered appropriate. WWYD?

[Pen]

I'd like to give something as a personal gift or gift card to my son's music teacher. My son has had a wonderful free to him due to a grant, music program with a wonderful teacher in our local rural area this last year.

 

This teacher will also probably be his teacher next year when he joins the local public school and I don't know what is appropriate. I don't want it to seem like I am doing something out of line and have it negatively effect my son as he starts into the local school. On the other hand, I want to do something to express my appreciation for this teacher who has been just an amazing gem for my son, and I think also for our community. If it had been via my son's homeschool co-op I would have paid something like $300 for what he has gotten for free. But this music class was better than anything the co-op had.

 

I'd also like to contribute to the local music program. I was thinking maybe a check donation to the school district for the music program, plus a card of thanks and appreciation for the teacher, plus a gift card to be given on the last day of classes this year (all together in one envelope)?

 

And how might one word the card to get across sincere appreciation (and even amazement after I saw a music program he got the kids able to do--I was seriously blown away by what the teacher seems to be accomplishing with a small group of kids and very limited resources)?

[Laurie4b]

Was the teacher paid or a volunteer? 

Even paid teachers typically don't make money commensurate with what they give, but I also think it makes a difference in what is considered appropriate. Generally people in paid positions can only accept fairly small gifts. 

[FaithManor]

As a former music teacher and now 4H leader and rocket team mentor, I can say with confidence, no trinket type stuff, sit around and draw dust kind of things, and no sweets/baked goods because we get more of that than we can possibly eat.

 

I personally enjoy things like a fresh flower bouquet, a hanging pot of petunias or pansies, specialty coffees, starbucks cards, certificates for a message or facial, fruit baskets around the holidays because I always in charge of bringing a big fruit bowl to family celebrations, that kins of thing.

[Dmmetler]

As a former school music teacher, write a letter to him, and send a copy to his boss. It really can be hard to keep a school music program going because so many people see it as a frill, and that can really make a difference. And if your son writes one as well, that's even better.

 

As far as gifts, honestly, as a music teacher, I was so used to being forgotten that I was thrilled to get anything!

 

 

 

 

[gypsymama]

A gift card could be good. If you can think of anything that would be helpful for the classes it would probably be highly appreciated. I have only done volunteer teaching for preschool and drama co-op classes and coaching youth soccer so to get costume/props, preschool items like printer paper or crayons, or for the soccer cones or soccer balls would have been highly appreciated. Those were all things that I could use and would take some of the financial burden off of me to provide these items while I'm volunteering my time to do these things as it is. Otherwise any little trinket they may like would be nice... the letter idea above is great.

[Bluegoat]

Gifts we've been involved in for music teachers:

 

A gift certificate to a nice place to eat out (this was a group gift as it was expensive.)

 

A ceramic mushroom made by a local artist

 

A bottle of scotch

 

Tennis balls

 

Tickets to see a play from The National Theatre at the movies

 

Usually at Christmas I give our piano teacher a basket with a few jams and things I made, maybe a baked good, something boozy, and a Christmas tree ornament (a type I know he collects.)

[Pen]

Okay. I'm glad most of you think that a gift to the teacher would be appreciated.  I assume he was paid by the grant, but do not know how much or even for sure that he was. Doubt that it would have been a lot.

 

I know they want help with the music program in general, because there was a money raiser with a silent auction and spaghetti dinner fundraiser. I bid on several of the silent auction items, but did not win any. And we don't eat the food they had as the fund- raiser dinner, so didn't contribute that way. Hence I am thinking a check clearly dedicated to the music program. Maybe I should call the school office or district office and ask how I can do that. I'm not really sure where to call to ask. Or put a check in the card, with a note that if I made it out wrong, please tell me and we can rip it up and I'll do another one. ????

 

Then for the teacher, I don't know what he likes enough to be able to know if baked goods or coffee or etc. make sense. I am thinking maybe an Amazon Gift Card? I would think nowadays most people could use that for something desired.

 

 

How much seems like a good amount?  I am thinking toward taking the $300 I feel I would have paid had this come via co-op and dividing it...maybe $250 to the music program and $50 for the teacher personally.   Or????

 

 

[Daria]

As a teacher, I would find getting a check in my envelope that goes to the school or program weird.  A little bit too much like "See, i pay your salary". 

 

I work in a private school where some families barely make tuition, and some families donate far above that.  I'm glad that parents donate, of course, because that's what pays my salary, but I don't want to know what parents donate.  I don't like the idea that what parents donate should be meaningful to me.  

 

I'm not saying it right.  But if you want to give a teacher a giftcard, whether it's $5 to Starbucks or $50 Visa or a picture your kid drew for them, that's great, but a donation to a program isn't a gift to the teacher.  

[Pen]

As a teacher, I would find getting a check in my envelope that goes to the school or program weird.  A little bit too much like "See, i pay your salary". 

 

Thanks. That is exactly the sort of thing I want to avoid. But how do I make a contribution properly and appropriately?

 

I work in a private school where some families barely make tuition, and some families donate far above that.  I'm glad that parents donate, of course, because that's what pays my salary, but I don't want to know what parents donate.  I don't like the idea that what parents donate should be meaningful to me.  

 

I'm not saying it right.  But if you want to give a teacher a giftcard, whether it's $5 to Starbucks or $50 Visa or a picture your kid drew for them, that's great, but a donation to a program isn't a gift to the teacher.  

 

 

Okay, so suppose a nice card to him with an Amazon gift card in it for appreciation for him personally.

 

Then how do I figure out how to give money specific to the music program to the whereever it would go?  I wish I had asked at the fundraiser from the people who were taking the money from people who won the silent auction items.  I don't so much generally want to just contribute to the school as a whole, but specifically to this music teacher's music program, which I feel needs support (many schools have completely lost their music programs). And it would not have to do with his salary.

 

They want money to repair instruments, get new instruments, a sound system, and new and safer risers for the choir. They explained that at the fund raiser. But they did not mention how to contribute beyond the specifics in place that evening. And I really don't know whom to ask other than the music teacher himself.

[school17777]

Go ahead and ask the teacher who you need to contact about making a donation. Giving him a gift is a separate thing.

[happypamama]

Go ahead and ask the teacher who you need to contact about making a donation. Giving him a gift is a separate thing.

That's what I would do: a donation to the program, to keep funding it, and a gift to the teacher personally.  When my boys were doing speech therapy, our therapist was amazing, and so in addition to a personal note from us, pictures that the boys drew, and a request that she contact us if she was ever in need of a recommendation (she didn't have a supervisor), we gave her an Amazon GC.  I figured she could apply it to buying the toys she used in therapy, or she could use it for herself.

[Seasider]

As a former school music teacher, write a letter to him, and send a copy to his boss. It really can be hard to keep a school music program going because so many people see it as a frill, and that can really make a difference. And if your son writes one as well, that's even better.

 

As far as gifts, honestly, as a music teacher, I was so used to being forgotten that I was thrilled to get anything!

I was going to say write a nice letter, I love your idea of sending a copy to the teacher's boss. Nice touch.

 

My book discussion kids hit me with nice notes and chocolate, both of which got thumbs up and gave me warm fuzzies.

[Daria]

Okay, so suppose a nice card to him with an Amazon gift card in it for appreciation for him personally.

 

Then how do I figure out how to give money specific to the music program to the whereever it would go?  I wish I had asked at the fundraiser from the people who were taking the money from people who won the silent auction items.  I don't so much generally want to just contribute to the school as a whole, but specifically to this music teacher's music program, which I feel needs support (many schools have completely lost their music programs). And it would not have to do with his salary.

 

They want money to repair instruments, get new instruments, a sound system, and new and safer risers for the choir. They explained that at the fund raiser. But they did not mention how to contribute beyond the specifics in place that evening. And I really don't know whom to ask other than the music teacher himself.

 

To be clear, a check for me to pass on would strike me very odd.  An offer to purchase something specific would not.  I've had parents say to me "I'd like to spend X amount on books for your classroom, would you like me to send you a wishlist?" or "I am going to X conference (usually something related to a specific syndrome since I'm a special educator), if you'd like to come I'd be happy to pay your way".  Neither of those were awkward.  So one option would be "I'd love to contribute to your collection of instruments.  Is there something in the $X range that you'd particularly like?" Another option would be to ask where to donate.  

[Pen]

To be clear, a check for me to pass on would strike me very odd.  An offer to purchase something specific would not.  I've had parents say to me "I'd like to spend X amount on books for your classroom, would you like me to send you a wishlist?" or "I am going to X conference (usually something related to a specific syndrome since I'm a special educator), if you'd like to come I'd be happy to pay your way".  Neither of those were awkward.  So one option would be "I'd love to contribute to your collection of instruments.  Is there something in the $X range that you'd particularly like?" Another option would be to ask where to donate.  

 

I won't go with a check to pass on since that seems not the right way to do it as per your post and others on here.

 

The instruments, sound system, risers that they need are individually well beyond my means to buy. So that won't really work. They don't need toy instruments in the couple hundred dollar or so range that I am thinking to contribute, but rather real band and orchestra quality ones that start over $1000 each. Sound system and risers are even more expensive.

 

Somehow I have to figure out how to contribute an amount that goes *toward* whatever is most needed -- not how to buy something like books that I can afford, but are not what they need at this time.

 

options I can think of:

1) ask the teacher, which would be easiest if acceptable since I have his email contact and so on

2) call the district office or school office and ask how to do it -- from past experience more likely to be complicated as people pass me from person to person, none of whom know the answer to my question.

3) write an email to the main secretary -- which I need to do anyway to find out when I need to register my ds for next year, or how to be sure to be informed when it is time to register so I don't miss that.

 

I could start with the last option and work backward, only asking the teacher if I cannot get an answer from the other sources.  OTOH if I ask the teacher now, then for future fundraisers they might know that it would help to have something that says if you can contribute at any time in future rather than tonight here is how to do it and be clear about how.

 

 I guess I am concerned that if I don't let the music teacher know that I am trying to contribute to his program it will end up that I am supporting the football program, which is not what I am trying to support.

[Dmmetler]

You could still ask for a wishlist. You can't necessarily buy an instrument, but $300 buys a couple of full band scores, reeds for kids who forget theirs, mallets for a xylophone or glockenspiel, a really good tuner or metronome, or some of the smaller high quality hand percussion. There were years that my entire budget for consumable supplies was less than $300.

 

 

 

 

[mathnerd]

Whoever ran the fundraiser for the music program should be able to point you in the correct direction for the donation check. I am sure that they have a treasury secretary for their fund raiser program who is ealing with all the money they raised for the music program.

[Pen]

The program gift is done. I walked into the school office in person and a person who did know how to do it was there. Took my check, gave me a receipt and assured me (I hope correctly) that my contribution would go to the right program.  I was inspired to give twice as much as I had been planning to :).

 

Now I am down to a card, gift card, and wording of the card for the teacher himself.

[Tsuga]

You did the right thing.

 

If you want to give a large gift in the future but are concerned about them knowing who gave it, you can ask the other parents if they want to chip in and let them know that everyone signs, gift or not. Then give the gift as a group gift. That in no way advantages your child, but still gives the teacher a sum of money to enjoy however they please. Set the "recommended" amount very low, like $5. Then add in whatever you want. It works well if you truly are concerned about a donation causing favoritism.

[KungFuPanda]

As a former music teacher and now 4H leader and rocket team mentor, I can say with confidence, no trinket type stuff, sit around and draw dust kind of things, and no sweets/baked goods because we get more of that than we can possibly eat.

 

I personally enjoy things like a fresh flower bouquet, a hanging pot of petunias or pansies, specialty coffees, starbucks cards, certificates for a message or facial, fruit baskets around the holidays because I always in charge of bringing a big fruit bowl to family celebrations, that kins of thing.

Wait a minute! I agree with the trinket part, but must respectfully disagree with the sweets. There is no such thing as too much good chocolate. It might take me all summer, but that end-of-year teacher chocolate is pure, bite-sized happiness.