BlsdMama Posted May 17, 2016 Share Posted May 17, 2016 It was harder than I thought. I wonder why that was? Oiginally I decided to just trim 485 people down to people I care about AND people who don't "like" and "share" offensive things. :P :D First I killed off family. That was easier - I see the ones I want to, I make that effort, they make that effort. I killed off high school friends. That was easy-ish. We don't have much in common. It's more nostalgia. Then I deleted people I knew in Oregon that I don't keep in touch with but I enjoyed while I was there. That was harder. Finally I just deleted the whole thing. But I found it odd that the group of people I had wanted to keep were people I didn't know IRL. They were a small group of people I've known from a conservative board, homeschoolers, that I've known long-term since 2001. I find it odd that that was the thought process? Anyway, it's hard. I'm kind of used to "checking in" and I was finding it was taking more and more time. I didn't like that I got a craving/urge to check FB. I felt dependent. Then DH's uncle was so kind as to post a lovely meme about BOOKS yesterday that my 8yo read. I've hidden so many people on FB that that little meme broke the camel's back. (I think it must be because so many of my family members/friends just do not THINK before posting things. I suspect I have more than my fair share of these?) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 17, 2016 Share Posted May 17, 2016 I stopped back in 2007 or 2008. I just couldn't take it. I remember missing it for about three days. Then the relief set in and I was found myself being far less annoyed in general. Welcome to the FB Free life! It's the best. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 17, 2016 Share Posted May 17, 2016 *slow clap* It feels kind of freeing and weird all at once, doesn't it? I cut the cord at least five years ago now, probably six. And part of me does miss the easy contact and group involvement, but not as much as I thought I would. I just call or email or text people I need to speak with instead of peering in on their status updates and pretending that substitutes for an actual relationship :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PinkyandtheBrains. Posted May 17, 2016 Share Posted May 17, 2016 I use it to keep in touch with long distance friends and family, and our home school group uses it to organize events and activities. I do understand if you are devoting too much time to it. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz CA Posted May 17, 2016 Share Posted May 17, 2016 Congratulations on getting your life back! :hurray: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 17, 2016 Share Posted May 17, 2016 I knew it was time to go when I started finding friends in my life annoying because I was seeing sides of them they would have never displayed in our real life interactions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gingersmom Posted May 17, 2016 Share Posted May 17, 2016 I think I have 4-5 "friends" on Facebook and two of them are my children 😀 I don't want to be Facebook friends with anyone. The only reason I have it is to chat with my daughter while away at school and share news stories with my son. I am on some groups I like and follow tv shows I like, cooking shows, etc. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted May 17, 2016 Share Posted May 17, 2016 I do like facebook, but I only have about 30 friends. I do unfollow obnoxious people and hide obnoxious posts. I don't let my kids read my facebook feed. I also have friends I've never met IRL and whom I don't want to delete. Like you, we met online. Possibly the oddest one is a lady who died of cancer years ago. I had unfriended her page because her closer people would post to it and I just didn't need the extra stuff in my inbox (though I felt cold doing it). Then the deceased's husband had the page deleted, which caused an uproar among my cyber friends. They fought until facebook put the page back up, and then I got a friend request from "her." Hard to say no to that one. So I still have her in my friends list. :P For me, the main benefit of facebook is keeping up with people I rarely see. Most of them are fellow adoptive moms. I enjoy watching their kids' journeys, and it means we're no longer "strangers" when we meet once a year or so. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted May 17, 2016 Share Posted May 17, 2016 Most of my family are not obnoxious on facebook, which is nice. I have a few mom friends who like to post political stuff (mostly mild). And one distant cousin who can be kind of a jerk, but I put up with him rather than lose all connection. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mathnerd Posted May 17, 2016 Share Posted May 17, 2016 I stopped in the early years. People I wanted to avoid were trying to friend me. One idiot friend helpfully took screenshots of my posts and emailed them to all the people in our IRL circle of friends that I had not purposely shared my post with - nothing offensive in the post, just personal triumphs of my child which I did not want the world to talk about - just my need to protect the privacy of my child. I naively thought that if I restricted the audience for my posts, I would have privacy. When all the recipients of that email started posting on FB about my child's achievement, I deleted my FB account. I have a fake FB account which I use for checking the calendars and schedules of the extra curricular activities of my child - the coaches have schedules posted on FB rather than on their websites. So, I need an account to be able to participate in sports and music for my child. But, no one IRL has access to me through it. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trulycrabby Posted May 17, 2016 Share Posted May 17, 2016 (edited) I only have about four facebook friends, and even those fouur are too many. I am seriously considering shutting it down. Edited May 17, 2016 by trulycrabby 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlsdMama Posted May 17, 2016 Author Share Posted May 17, 2016 *slow clap* It feels kind of freeing and weird all at once, doesn't it? I cut the cord at least five years ago now, probably six. And part of me does miss the easy contact and group involvement, but not as much as I thought I would. I just call or email or text people I need to speak with instead of peering in on their status updates and pretending that substitutes for an actual relationship :lol: YES! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlsdMama Posted May 17, 2016 Author Share Posted May 17, 2016 I do like facebook, but I only have about 30 friends. I do unfollow obnoxious people and hide obnoxious posts. I don't let my kids read my facebook feed. I suspect it's my high percentage of redneck relatives but I am (DAILY) hiding posting and unfollowing obnoxious people. Truly, yesterday was the final straw. If you can't trust an almost 70 year old guy to not put BOOK memes on there, sheesh. I had my DS unfriend my sil yesterday. I'm thinking this isn't going to go well. I like her a LOT, but her "likes" are showing up on his page and they are... not appropriate. One would think, with a 17yo son, you would worry more about his friends than his family. Me? Nope. I told him to unfriend family members. His friends I actually approve of, they understand the word "appropriate" - that has to break some kind of record or rule or something? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
madteaparty Posted May 17, 2016 Share Posted May 17, 2016 I did the same a couple weeks ago but I do miss announcements etc from bands no one else likes... So I'm slowly liking them on DH's FB 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 17, 2016 Share Posted May 17, 2016 I never plan to quit FB, although I have done major weeding a few times. :) i think I am fortunate with family, though, because most family isn't problematic. The few times political or otherwise obnoxious posts have cropped up, I have just hidden. I unfriended some cousins because there was always ridiculous drama and vaguebooking going on with those two. I have not had any friends in my feed who quit and remained off. So far, all who quit returned, though in one case it was under an alias. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted May 17, 2016 Share Posted May 17, 2016 I fb under an alias. Maybe that is why I don't get more friend requests. :P 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xixstar Posted May 17, 2016 Share Posted May 17, 2016 (edited) I hate the time I allow it to take but can't see how I would connect with anyone if it was gone. I would not know about classes, meet ups, MNOs, parties, etc. It has completely replaced email for how we used to communicate all these things. If FB just vanished, I don't know if I have contact info for many friends to reconnect. But it certainly can be a time suck and a lot of what is shared isn't of value - dropping it complete has some appeal. I have made liberal use of friends groups to filter what I share with others and I have no qualms about unfollowing anyone I don't like what they post. I have found that fb groups have replace measage forums where I used to connect with people with simmilar hobbies. This appears to be the only forum still surviving independent of fb but for how long? Edited May 17, 2016 by xixstar 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted May 17, 2016 Share Posted May 17, 2016 I do wish I wouldn't see everyone's "likes." It's usually some complete stranger's kid's first burp or similar. Isn't there a setting that prevents that? I'm told that nobody else sees what I "like." 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted May 17, 2016 Share Posted May 17, 2016 One night I went crazy and deleted about 200 'friends'. I still have 175. Out of the 200 I deleted exactly ONE asked me if I had been offended by her. I had not. And I re added her. (A friend on WTM) Think about that....I deleted 200 people.....and they either didn't notice or didn't bother to ask why. But I still can't let go completely. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Florida. Posted May 17, 2016 Share Posted May 17, 2016 I never plan to quit FB, although I have done major weeding a few times. :) i think I am fortunate with family, though, because most family isn't problematic. The few times political or otherwise obnoxious posts have cropped up, I have just hidden. This is me too. I guess we're lucky. I do like facebook, but it's not a time suck for me. I go see what others are doing or talking about, look at some photos friends posted, and that's it. Sometimes I don't post for days, often I read but don't comment on people's posts. Maybe that's the secret? I don't know. I also use it for groups. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustEm Posted May 17, 2016 Share Posted May 17, 2016 I have maybe 50 friends and could probably get that down to 30 and not miss the 20 dropped. But I use it to keep in touch with cousins who are across the country. I also post pictures of my kids regularly for my aunt who we only get to see every few years. She hasn't met my youngest but she knows her because of videos and pictures. She likes that it's via Facebook so she can easily share with her friends and other family members that I'm not friends with. I also sell a lot on local consignment groups. I would drop it in a heart beat if I had friends that post inappropriate or annoying posts constantly. I haven't had that issue though. I'm quite picky with who I friend. I also don't check it daily Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HS Mom in NC Posted May 17, 2016 Share Posted May 17, 2016 FB has enriched my life as a whole so far. I keep up with people I wouldn't be able to otherwise. My family isn't problematic on FB. My friends don't usually post offensive or annoying things, but when they do I hide or delete them. PMing is go much better than email for me.I get that there are plenty of reasons why FB isn't a good match for some people and I'm glad when they decide to opt out. Life is short, do what makes it better for you. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
foxbridgeacademy Posted May 17, 2016 Share Posted May 17, 2016 I was getting a lot of stuff I didn't want to see from my family also (they're conservative christians, I'm soooo not). I just unfollowed them, that seemed to take care of it for me, does that not work for everyone else? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ScoutTN Posted May 17, 2016 Share Posted May 17, 2016 I never succumbed to the Siren call. I prefer to keep it that way. Same here! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlsdMama Posted May 17, 2016 Author Share Posted May 17, 2016 I was getting a lot of stuff I didn't want to see from my family also (they're conservative christians, I'm soooo not). I just unfollowed them, that seemed to take care of it for me, does that not work for everyone else? I started by unfollowing... But I was still getting a huge amount of "likes." So, for example, I WANT to see every one of my best friend's posts. I just don't want to see the 20 things she "liked today on HER friends' pages. 'Cuz I like her, but I don't care two hoots about her friends that I don't know and to weed through all of that to see relevant things....... I am really hoping I can stick to this....... I deleted my FB last year and joined DH's and just had one to maintain. I didn't mind having it while we were across the country - I had fewer people on it and it helped with homesickness. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garga Posted May 17, 2016 Share Posted May 17, 2016 (edited) FB has enriched my life as a whole so far. I keep up with people I wouldn't be able to otherwise. My family isn't problematic on FB. My friends don't usually post offensive or annoying things, but when they do I hide or delete them. PMing is go much better than email for me. I get that there are plenty of reasons why FB isn't a good match for some people and I'm glad when they decide to opt out. Life is short, do what makes it better for you. That's what I was going to say. I still like FB just fine, but the people I'm friends with all behave themselves and are pleasant. Looking at FB is relaxing for me, seeing what people are doing, but without having to make 50 phones calls. My introverted self adores FB. But if it wasn't relaxing, I'd get rid of it in a heartbeat. If I had the relatives you have, I would let it go too, and never look back! Edited May 17, 2016 by Garga 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted May 17, 2016 Share Posted May 17, 2016 Same here! And another. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted May 17, 2016 Share Posted May 17, 2016 (edited) :iagree: with Karen, welcome to the dark side :closedeyes: . Be prepared for people to try to lure you back in. I'll be honest and admit letting go wasn't easy, and I am occasionally tempted, but can't take on another time drain or the headache of some peeps. Edited May 18, 2016 by Tammyla Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pinkmint Posted May 17, 2016 Share Posted May 17, 2016 (edited) I quit Facebook about 2 and 1/2 years ago. I'm glad to know I'm not the only one because sometimes it seems like those who choose to do without FB don't even exist. Like you need a FB to be a normal person, a normal functioning member of society and you're some suspicious weirdo without one. There are a lot of reasons why FB may or may not work for a person and my case is basically the perfect constellation of circumstances that make FB more bad than good: My extended family is a fractured, strained mess of difficult relationships. It's time consuming and addictive. I already feel like I'm struggling to keep up with my main priorities in life. I'm not energetic and Type A. My time and energy are extremely limited. I don't need non-essential time wasting endeavours. I don't like seeing pics of my friends vacations and fun adventures while we are struggling and never go anywhere. My personality is such that I tend towards being an "over-sharer" and my statuses would reflect that. I prefer to over-share with my trusted select IRL friends. I find that FB is sort of like the sugary snack to my relational needs. It seems to hit the spot at the time but ends up leaving me still hungry and feeling gross after the sugar high wears off. (There are numerous other reasons, those are just the first few I could think of) Edited May 17, 2016 by pinkmint 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ali in OR Posted May 17, 2016 Share Posted May 17, 2016 (edited) As an introvert, I like Facebook. I don't have any problems with friends/family (though I do get tired of some political stuff). I do wish FB would stop showing me what all of my friends "like". I don't know those people and don't really care. But I like real posts from friends and family. Edited May 17, 2016 by Ali in OR 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 17, 2016 Share Posted May 17, 2016 I quit Facebook about 2 and 1/2 years ago. I'm glad to know I'm not the only one because sometimes it seems like those who choose to do without FB don't even exist. Like you need a FB to be a normal person, a normal functioning member of society and you're some suspicious weirdo without one. You know what has surprised me the most about this- the number or companies who try and tell me I must have a FB page to access this or that. Like one simply cannot function without FB. Sorry. If you can't accommodate me not having FB I will find someone who can. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustEm Posted May 17, 2016 Share Posted May 17, 2016 I started by unfollowing... But I was still getting a huge amount of "likes." So, for example, I WANT to see every one of my best friend's posts. I just don't want to see the 20 things she "liked today on HER friends' pages. 'Cuz I like her, but I don't care two hoots about her friends that I don't know and to weed through all of that to see relevant things....... I am really hoping I can stick to this....... I deleted my FB last year and joined DH's and just had one to maintain. I didn't mind having it while we were across the country - I had fewer people on it and it helped with homesickness. Ugh, I do hate seeing what my friends have liked. It is pretty annoying. I do wish I could block that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ausmumof3 Posted May 17, 2016 Share Posted May 17, 2016 Ugh, I do hate seeing what my friends have liked. It is pretty annoying. I do wish I could block that. Yeah I only wanna see the shares and the posts. Not all the likes... I don't really care too much about Facebook. I often can't be bothered reading the whole feed. The bigger time waster here is this forum and I'd find that really hard to cut out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie G Posted May 18, 2016 Share Posted May 18, 2016 Adult kids...four grandkids who live 1000+ miles from me...sisters who live far away...and I'm an introvert who likes friends and wants to keep in touch. All these reasons make Facebook work well for me. I don't have a lot of friends who post offensive stuff but it's ok that there's a little of that...it keeps me on my toes. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted May 18, 2016 Share Posted May 18, 2016 (edited) Can't you just right click and say "see less posts like this" on like(or any) posts? I don't think I'm seeing any like posts in my feed. I don't tolerate any drama on my fb feed. I use it as kind of a working scrap book of what we do as a family. I will rarely repost a news article that is relevant to me or current events. I unfollow and unfriend mercilessly. I don't care at all if someone unfriends me. I have noticed a few times and I can't imagine approaching someone on that unless I knew them extremely well in real life. Everyone uses FB differently. If they decide to pare it down for whatever reason, more power to them. I do the same. Somehow I manage to foster many real life relationships too. Imagine that! ;) I use it for lots of homeschool group stuff. I'd miss quite a few local homeschool offerings if I weren't using FB. I don't find it's a huge time suck for me at all and if a post isn't in the top 20 of my feed when I happen to check, I'll probably miss it. Everyone's different. Edited May 18, 2016 by WoolySocks 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted May 18, 2016 Share Posted May 18, 2016 (edited) I grew up overseas, I have it primarily to keep in touch with those folks as we live all over the country and some still overseas now. Today, I found out that one of my teachers from my boarding school passed away. He had cancer. So, I love FB for that reason. But there are some people I wish I could unfriend, but instead I have hidden their status reports. They are just so drama ridden and I know if I unfriend them, that will create more drama. Edited May 18, 2016 by DawnM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hilltopmom Posted May 18, 2016 Share Posted May 18, 2016 I deleted my original personal account with all my friends (college & mommy friends, no high school) and now I just have a very small account I use for our local homeschool group & one Foster parent group.(ok, & a few sale groups that I need to delete) And Because I don't have a smart phone, I use fb PMs to friends instead of texts, but I don't have friends in my " feed", I keep those few people hidden so I don't get their posts. I DO keep my teens as friends so that I see when they like or comment on things, easy to see what they R up to that way. Not much of a time suck anymore cause not much on there:). I waste my time here on WTM instead, lol. I miss old forums I used to be a member of, mainly one for kids with severe disabilities, that moved to fb & was never the same. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MistyMountain Posted May 18, 2016 Share Posted May 18, 2016 You can turn off seeing others likes. I did that back when they switched to seeing likes. It cluttered up the feed too much. Since I live far from family It is a way they can send pictures on a regular basis. My family luckily is not a problem. I have a love hate relationship with Facebook. Ther aspects I like are hearing about local events, groups, seeing pictures of friends and family and seeing what people who moved away are up to. The aspects I do not like are bad memes, news article comments, bad information quality and the way things are turned into sound bites. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zinnia Posted May 18, 2016 Share Posted May 18, 2016 I will miss you! :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeWillSoar Posted May 18, 2016 Share Posted May 18, 2016 I deleted my original personal account with all my friends (college & mommy friends, no high school) and now I just have a very small account I use for our local homeschool group & one Foster parent group.(ok, & a few sale groups that I need to delete) And Because I don't have a smart phone, I use fb PMs to friends instead of texts, but I don't have friends in my " feed", I keep those few people hidden so I don't get their posts. I DO keep my teens as friends so that I see when they like or comment on things, easy to see what they R up to that way. Not much of a time suck anymore cause not much on there:). I waste my time here on WTM instead, lol. I miss old forums I used to be a member of, mainly one for kids with severe disabilities, that moved to fb & was never the same. I would like to do this. I like checking my neighborhood group and a couple homeschool groups and some friends but most of it is a big waste of time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AmandaVT Posted May 18, 2016 Share Posted May 18, 2016 (edited) I don't see any like posts on mine, either. I think many online places can be mindless time-wasters; this place is definitely one of them. I use FB for smaller, private groups. I've got a few relatives that post garbage, but I knew they were idiots long before FB. I don't care for FB, but I use it similarly to Dotwithaperiod. I have 3 groups that I like to keep up with and I use the messenger feature with my aunt and one friend. That's about it. I turned off the "likes" and hid a number of people from my feed, so it's not cluttered. I don't post much either - maybe once or twice a year? I'm trying to use it as a tool, keeping what's helpful and hiding what's not. Edited May 18, 2016 by AmandaVT Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.... Posted May 18, 2016 Share Posted May 18, 2016 I never succumbed to the Siren call. I prefer to keep it that way. :iagree: I've never even had an account on there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom25girls Posted May 18, 2016 Share Posted May 18, 2016 I have a fake FB account which I use for checking the calendars and schedules of the extra curricular activities of my child - the coaches have schedules posted on FB rather than on their websites. So, I need an account to be able to participate in sports and music for my child. But, no one IRL has access to me through it. This is what I do (after years resisting FB). Welcome to getting your life back. I think it's lovely that you can share your time in ways that bring you joy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BooksandBoys Posted May 18, 2016 Share Posted May 18, 2016 I move a lot, so, as much as I hate Facebook and use it very rarely, I like to keep it active as a means to stay in touch with my friends from previous areas of the country. I wish I had time to just write letters and emails instead...maybe when the kids are a bit older. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pippen Posted May 19, 2016 Share Posted May 19, 2016 You can turn off seeing others likes. I did that back when they switched to seeing likes. It cluttered up the feed too much. Since I live far from family It is a way they can send pictures on a regular basis. My family luckily is not a problem. I have a love hate relationship with Facebook. Ther aspects I like are hearing about local events, groups, seeing pictures of friends and family and seeing what people who moved away are up to. The aspects I do not like are bad memes, news article comments, bad information quality and the way things are turned into sound bites. What steps can we take to turn off seeing the likes of others? A few months ago my fairly slow news feed that contained mostly news from friends and a few sponsored ads and a few shares burst into a newsfeed of mostly comments and likes friends have made to others, and shares from friends. It's tedious to wade through and find the sort of news of friends I actually do want to keep up with. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heart_Mom Posted May 19, 2016 Share Posted May 19, 2016 I didn't have a FB account until a few years ago, but I got one so I could keep in better touch with my sisters. I do love that aspect of it, but it's a time waster for me. I just get sucked in and spend too much time there. I really don't want to delete my account, because checking in once a week is not a problem. Here's my solution: I asked my husband to change my password for me. So now, about once per week, I ask him to put in the password, I check it for a few minutes, then I log out. Otherwise the draw is too strong to hang there when I should be doing something else. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
December Posted May 19, 2016 Share Posted May 19, 2016 One night I went crazy and deleted about 200 'friends'. I still have 175. Out of the 200 I deleted exactly ONE asked me if I had been offended by her. I had not. And I re added her. (A friend on WTM) Think about that....I deleted 200 people.....and they either didn't notice or didn't bother to ask why. But I still can't let go completely. I never ask people why they delete me. Even though it makes me feel sad, I'm just afraid of asking and then getting a hurtful response that will only make me feel worse. :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted May 20, 2016 Share Posted May 20, 2016 I never ask people why they delete me. Even though it makes me feel sad, I'm just afraid of asking and then getting a hurtful response that will only make me feel worse. :( If I happen to notice I just assume they were trying to simplify their list and life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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