Home'scool Posted May 17, 2016 Share Posted May 17, 2016 As some of you might know I am going through a divorce. I found out 4 months ago that my husband has been having an affair for the last year and a half. We (mostly I) decided we would tell our daughters (ages 19 and 21) about it after their school year was over. The woman my husband has been having the affair with lives only two towns over, she has been posting all over facebook about the two of them, and my husband has told some close family friends about the affair. I was worried our daughters would find out about it through some type of gossip or somebody seeing them together. We told the girls last night and they are devastated. They are furious with my husband that he lied for so long to all of us. Their whole perception of him has changed. My husband is not one to do well when told he is wrong about something, so he is not being the most gracious during conversations with them. He will revert to sarcasm or trying to spread the blame around. He also is now mad at me that we told them, saying that he thought it was a bad idea all along. Our family is in such crisis right now. Any good thoughts or prayers would be appreciated! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted May 17, 2016 Share Posted May 17, 2016 Did he think he could pretend forever? Crazy! Prayers for you and your girls. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Florida. Posted May 17, 2016 Share Posted May 17, 2016 :grouphug: It's not going to be easy but you (and your daughters) will get through this. I agree with DianaP - How long did he think you could keep it from them? smh 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Home'scool Posted May 17, 2016 Author Share Posted May 17, 2016 He waffled between not telling them at all (I think the relationship is dying a slow, dysfunctional death) or telling them but keeping the details light. Like, telling them he has been in a relationship with someone but not telling them for how long. One of the first questions my daughter asked when I said that their father was in another relationship was "For how long?" Was I supposed to just say "never mind that!" My position was that we were telling the girls because we wanted to be honest with them. Well, you can't be half-honest. That is like being sorta pregnant! 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hornblower Posted May 17, 2016 Share Posted May 17, 2016 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted May 17, 2016 Share Posted May 17, 2016 :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happi duck Posted May 17, 2016 Share Posted May 17, 2016 (Hugs) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pawz4me Posted May 17, 2016 Share Posted May 17, 2016 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted May 17, 2016 Share Posted May 17, 2016 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: It isn't easy, but your girls are grown women now, and they need to process this in their own way. All you can do is be supportive. He made his bed, literally, now he has to lie in it, and you don't have to run interference for that. Just try to take care of yourself, make sure you take care of yourself so you can still be mom to your daughters. It is rather difficult to parent adult children, but you will get through it, and they will eventually work through their feelings. If need be, find a good therapist for yourself so you have a sounding board because the girls can't be that, shouldn't be that, for you. Sigh....never easy. Lots of love and prayers from me. 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted May 17, 2016 Share Posted May 17, 2016 :grouphug: My own life motto, which has brought me through terribly painful circumstances more than once: The truth will set you free. (John 8:32) You were right to put the truth on the table, and right to keep it there boldly and unapologetically. :grouphug: 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mamiof5 Posted May 17, 2016 Share Posted May 17, 2016 I am so sorry!! I'll pray for you and your girls. Unfortunately I don't have very nice thoughts towards dh now. She puts it all over Facebook, he told family friends... but HE is upset about telling your daughters? And he's being sarcastic on top of everything?? Wow. "When there's nothing nice to say it's better to not say anything at all". I just don't get it :( Many prayers for you and your dds!!! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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