WWYD? Son is being held back at local christian school.

[PeterPan]

Here, this is a video by Ben Foss, but he has a bunch of other really great ones.  Some people don't like certain things about him.  Fine, whatever.  I love his ATTITUDE toward tech, towards disabilities, about owning it and being very CAN DO.

 

“Own†Dyslexia With Ear Reading, Using Phone as Assistive Technology | Expert Corner - Understood

 

He also has a book, btw.  Mainly I just watch videos of him on youtube.  Show them to your ds!  :)

[Alessandra]

OK, so WOW! You guys answered my questions and then some. So I'll tell you what I've done so far. I live in a pretty good school district but its public school and I thought I would NEVER send any of my kids to a public school. I was a homeschool mama to the core. Well, then last year I ended up sending them to the Christian school and though it was very hard, I saw some great things coming out of my kids. My son really blossomed and loved going to class each day. That is why it shocked me when they wanted to hold him back.

 

Some of you mentioned that they believed the school just didn't want to invest the amount of resources into him next year that they did this year and I 100% agree. I mean they really went above and beyond for my son. They put their all into him and I can't fault them for giving him one year and that's it. What makes me a bit upset is how during my meeting the tutor kept scolding me for not working with him more. Then she scolded me in her email and today I got another email reminding me to work with him. Now, I told her repeatedly throughout the year that I simply didn't have a lot of time to work with him but I would give it my all whenever I could. I was taking night classes and working. It was all I could do just to check homework, get dinner on the table, clean the house and make sure everyone had a lunch for the next day. Since I have been out of school the last two weeks I have been working diligently with him. I just don't think it is necessary for her to scold and remind me.

 

Anyhow, I was given some amazing advice from all of you and I wrote an official letter and sent it to my local public school requesting an IEP. When I called them they said they don't do them in the summer, but with your advice, I wrote in the letter the laws about the request being processed and evaluation completed within 60 days. I was nice about it, but clear.

 

Then I researched all the schools in my district to see which ones had the best results and highest scores on some of the sites like greatschools.com. Then I asked friends who have had experience with these schools. Finally, I found a form on my district site that says you can request an Intradistrict Transfer for whatever reason. I am not very happy with the school that we are assigned to but just a 2 miles down the road in the opposite direction is the best elementary school in the district. So I mailed off that form today.

 

Now I am going to have to wait to hear from them about the transfer and I will call and check in with the IEP on Monday to make sure they got my request in the mail.

 

I am excited that my son will not only get the help he needs and will have a lot more opportunities for extra curricular activities that the Christian school did not offer. I am praying it will all work out all right.

 

I am going to continue with the FastForward program throughout the summer. Have plenty of reading time daily working on building up his level a few points each week. I will also make sure he gets in a little math facts practice.

 

One other thing is I told all my kids no computer except for educational purposes for now. I want them outside as much as possible in the fresh air running around, working on their snap circuits, legos, bring creative. Honestly they didn't even complain.

 

So that is my plan as of right now. You guys are incredible. Truly!

 

 

Edited to add: Homeschooling him is not completely off the table. It would just have to be a joint effort between myself and a few people. I would definitely look to find some sort tutor if this happens.

 

But let me be frank... I am living on next to nothing at this point. My ex-husband barely pays his child support and I only work part-time because it is all I can handle while I am in school. I pay the bills but barely. I am not complaining. God always provides and I believe He could easily provide us with a tutor so if that is the road I need to take... Then that is what He will provide for.

 

Honestly, I didn't think private Christian school was possible but due to scholarships I was able to send two of my kids there for $100 a month for a $10,000 bill. That is a miracle if you ask me.

Wow, I am impressed! You have done a gigantic amount in a short time. Your son is lucky to gave you as a parent.

 

I also wanted to add that I think it is highly inappropriate for the school to try to make you feel guilty for not doing something they thought you should have done. I am glad you are not letting them manipulate you in blaming yourself. Most parents don't do a fraction of what you have done.

 

One comment I have about schools. Visit the schools, talk to parents, try to find out about the atmosphere of each school. Sometimes the top ranked school is has high test scores because parents are super competitive, hire tutors for kids who already excel, etc. in my district, the 'lesser' ranked school is known for being more nurturing than the 'top' ranked school. I am not saying all top ranked schools are bad, of course, just that there are more facets to a school than are reflected in rankings. But you sound smart enough to have figured that out already! Check the percentage of kids with special needs, as that can skew school rankings that are based on standardized tests.

 

Oh, good luck!

[PeterPan]

https://www.google.com/search?client=safari&rls=en&q=ipad+guided+access&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8

 

Here's a google search for using the ipad's Guided Access mode.  It's awesome.

 

Voice Dream  Terrific app.

 

I've lost the name of the other one I was thinking of.  Maybe later.  I'm tired, lol.

[PeterPan]

I've been told that some higher ranked schools are harder to get IEPs at.  There's sort of this tough culture of our kids don't need that.  So it's definitely stuff to check.

[FO4UR]

OK, so WOW! You guys answered my questions and then some. So I'll tell you what I've done so far. I live in a pretty good school district but its public school and I thought I would NEVER send any of my kids to a public school. I was a homeschool mama to the core. Well, then last year I ended up sending them to the Christian school and though it was very hard, I saw some great things coming out of my kids. My son really blossomed and loved going to class each day. That is why it shocked me when they wanted to hold him back. 

 

Some of you mentioned that they believed the school just didn't want to invest the amount of resources into him next year that they did this year and I 100% agree. I mean they really went above and beyond for my son. They put their all into him and I can't fault them for giving him one year and that's it. What makes me a bit upset is how during my meeting the tutor kept scolding me for not working with him more. Then she scolded me in her email and today I got another email reminding me to work with him. Now, I told her repeatedly throughout the year that I simply didn't have a lot of time to work with him but I would give it my all whenever I could. I was taking night classes and working. It was all I could do just to check homework, get dinner on the table, clean the house and make sure everyone had a lunch for the next day. Since I have been out of school the last two weeks I have been working diligently with him. I just don't think it is necessary for her to scold and remind me. 

 

Anyhow, I was given some amazing advice from all of you and I wrote an official letter and sent it to my local public school requesting an IEP. When I called them they said they don't do them in the summer, but with your advice, I wrote in the letter the laws about the request being processed and evaluation completed within 60 days. I was nice about it, but clear. 

 

Then I researched all the schools in my district to see which ones had the best results and highest scores on some of the sites like greatschools.com. Then I asked friends who have had experience with these schools. Finally, I found a form on my district site that says you can request an Intradistrict Transfer for whatever reason. I am not very happy with the school that we are assigned to but just a 2 miles down the road in the opposite direction is the best elementary school in the district. So I mailed off that form today. 

 

Now I am going to have to wait to hear from them about the transfer and I will call and check in with the IEP on Monday to make sure they got my request in the mail. 

 

I am excited that my son will not only get the help he needs and will have a lot more opportunities for extra curricular activities that the Christian school did not offer. I am praying it will all work out all right. 

 

I am going to continue with the FastForward program throughout the summer. Have plenty of reading time daily working on building up his level a few points each week. I will also make sure he gets in a little math facts practice. 

 

One other thing is I told all my kids no computer except for educational purposes for now. I want them outside as much as possible in the fresh air running around, working on their snap circuits, legos, bring creative. Honestly they didn't even complain. 

 

So that is my plan as of right now. You guys are incredible. Truly! 

 

 

Edited to add: Homeschooling him is not completely off the table. It would just have to be a joint effort between myself and a few people. I would definitely look to find some sort tutor if this happens.

 

But let me be frank... I am living on next to nothing at this point. My ex-husband barely pays his child support and I only work part-time because it is all I can handle while I am in school. I pay the bills but barely. I am not complaining. God always provides and I believe He could easily provide us with a tutor so if that is the road I need to take... Then that is what He will provide for.

 

Honestly, I didn't think private Christian school was possible but due to scholarships I was able to send two of my kids there for $100 a month for a $10,000 bill. That is a miracle if you ask me. 

 

 

This is all good.

 

And, I had a hunch about the $, given you are single and a nursing student.

 

Any kind neighbor (or older sibling) could do Dancing Bears Fast Track with him after school.  It is written for older, dyslexic students and it's super-duper easy. 

 

I think finishing the program he has started this summer is smart.  Consider DB Fast Track for after school tutoring in the fall.

 

I will be praying for your situation.  There is no shame in struggling and striving. (My mom was widowed and put herself through nursing school with 3 young kids. Single mom nurses ROCK!)

[amsunshine]

If he does have CAPD, you will almost certainly have to do that privately, and I HIGHLY recommend that you get that done (my son has CAPD, and he hears almost NOTHING in background noise, even light noise when we're working 1:1, and it's far worse in a big room or group). Today we were spelling while my older son was scraping something in another room, and my son couldn't hear the differences in his spelling words!!! CAPD is a big deal. It does require accommodation, not just remediation (though some remediation is possible). I would also have a COVD exam as well. 

 

If you get a CAPD diagnosis, just so you know, there are court cases where students have been awarded IEPs on the basis of CAPD being categorized as "Other Health Impairment" vs. an SLD. It's a broader coverage in the IEP than an SLD designation. It might not matter--his IEP may be appropriate regardless, but if they find CAPD but no evidence of a learning disability, they might try to give him a Section 504 plan which is not what he needs. CAPD is often considered an SLD, but they sometimes try to wiggle out of it. He clearly needs intervention, and if he has CAPD, he needs intervention AND accommodation.

 I cannot agree with this post more.  When I read the emails sent to you, and they talked about how your ds seemed "overwhelmed" by the school environment, I could not help but think, of course!  If he has CAPD -- he would most definitely be overwhelmed by it.  It sounds as if they don't understand CAPD or know how to deal with it.  I hope you are able to get your son the assistance he needs.  My younger dd has this diagnosis.

[SKL]

As another single afterschooling mom, I wanted to send some moral support.  Nobody should be scolding anyone about what they do or don't do in the evenings.  How do they know what you have on your plate?  And the last thing any mom needs is guilt.  Shame on them.

 

It's great if a mom can work with the kids after school.  But a lot of other things have to come first.  It's hard enough to figure out how to balance it all without someone passing judgment.

[Guest]

As another single afterschooling mom, I wanted to send some moral support. Nobody should be scolding anyone about what they do or don't do in the evenings. How do they know what you have on your plate? And the last thing any mom needs is guilt. Shame on them.

 

It's great if a mom can work with the kids after school. But a lot of other things have to come first. It's hard enough to figure out how to balance it all without someone passing judgment.

Some Christian private schools seem unfortunately biased against the non-traditional family. I'm not even sure if it's intentional, but my very limited experience having attended one and having sent a child to one, is that often times they are structured for the ideal, two parent, one at home situation. They depend on the SAH parent, who is usually the Mom, to chip in at the school and at home, and make up for the lack of funding and resources which are usually tighter at private schools. My point being, don't take it personally. Public schools largely don't seem to work off the same expectation. They take the parents they get and meet them where they're at, whereas the private schools say, here we are come to us. Hopefully that makes sense. I've followed this thread the entire way and just have to say you're doing an amazing job of advocating for your son.

[Arcadia]

:grouphug:

The highest scoring elementary school in my district happen to have parents who afterschool and also very little socioeconomic diversity. The highest local k-5 school to me has a big achievement gap by ethnicity. I would ask local parents of kids with IEPs which schools are great.

 

I know a few parents whose kids have IEPs and are in top public schools in relatively wealthy districts. They have to advocate every term just for adequate services. They think schools are making the effort but they need to do the "homework" on what to ask for.

[Alessandra]

I've been told that some higher ranked schools are harder to get IEPs at. There's sort of this tough culture of our kids don't need that. So it's definitely stuff to check.

 

I can only speak for my area, but in NJ, where districts are small, special Ed services are generally the same across a district and not dependent on individual schools. I mentioned higher and lower ranked schools in a previous post, but I should have been clearer about my specific area. Within a district, school rankings may be only a few points apart, and ranking can switch around every few years. Again, this applies to NJ, with its tiny districts. (Some districts have only about 30 students per grade per district -- obviously only one elementary school in those districts. But just a few students' test scores can affect rankings)

 

Some Christian private schools seem unfortunately biased against the non-traditional family. I'm not even sure if it's intentional, but my very limited experience having attended one and having sent a child to one, is that often times they are structured for the ideal, two parent, one at home situation. They depend on the SAH parent, who is usually the Mom, to chip in at the school and at home, and make up for the lack of funding and resources which are usually tighter at private schools. My point being, don't take it personally. Public schools largely don't seem to work off the same expectation. They take the parents they get and meet them where they're at, whereas the private schools say, here we are come to us. Hopefully that makes sense. I've followed this thread the entire way and just have to say you're doing an amazing job of advocating for your son.

Interesting, I did not realize. I would guess that I am not the only one here at WTM who thinks that studying nursing is a better path, long term, than staying home tutoring. And seeing a parent strive for a career is a tremendous role model for a kid.

 

:grouphug:

The highest scoring elementary school in my district happen to have parents who afterschool and also very little socioeconomic diversity. The highest local k-5 school to me has a big achievement gap by ethnicity. I would ask local parents of kids with IEPs which schools are great.

I know a few parents whose kids have IEPs and are in top public schools in relatively wealthy districts. They have to advocate every term just for adequate services. They think schools are making the effort but they need to do the "homework" on what to ask for.

Based on my experience, I see some similarities and some differences in my area. Our district is strong in special Ed, so services are provided without battles. But perception about schools can be tied to parents social aspirations and to real estate values. Some parents value test scores/rankings because of property values, not so much because they reflect academic (which they really do not, within a district). But those schools -- and those parents-- may not be the best for students with special needs. There can be a hierarchy -- popular kids on sports travel teams (having done sports camps and private coaching) versus my/your kids. Not all parents are like this of course, but the competitive ones can create an atmosphere.

 

My suggestion would be to look at non-academic as well as academic factors. What happens at lunch? Do kids have to find their own seats, or are there any teacher/counselor organized groups? What about recess? Most special needs parents I know consistently find that unstructured times are the most difficult. One school in our district had an extraordinary social worker who organized all kinds of groups. The children of divorced parents group was especially popular (btw, parent decision on whether or not to opt in).

 

A good way to find special needs parents in your district is to ask if there are any parent advisory groups or other advocacy groups. District cannot give you parent names (confidentiality), but they can give you a group's email. Also check your local recreation department to see if there are any Challenger sports. If so, drop by a practice and introduce yourself. Ime, special Ed parents are welcoming and helpful, even if your kids has only minor needs.

Edited May 19, 2016 by Alessandra

[NoPlaceLikeHome]

Sometimes librarians and/or universities may have or know of free tutoring which may be a thought. Also, libraries may have access to reading programs as well.

[vonfirmath]

Wow, I am impressed! You have done a gigantic amount in a short time. Your son is lucky to gave you as a parent.

 

I also wanted to add that I think it is highly inappropriate for the school to try to make you feel guilty for not doing something they thought you should have done. I am glad you are not letting them manipulate you in blaming yourself. Most parents don't do a fraction of what you have done.

 

One comment I have about schools. Visit the schools, talk to parents, try to find out about the atmosphere of each school. Sometimes the top ranked school is has high test scores because parents are super competitive, hire tutors for kids who already excel, etc. in my district, the 'lesser' ranked school is known for being more nurturing than the 'top' ranked school. I am not saying all top ranked schools are bad, of course, just that there are more facets to a school than are reflected in rankings. But you sound smart enough to have figured that out already! Check the percentage of kids with special needs, as that can skew school rankings that are based on standardized tests.

 

Oh, good luck!

 

I want to double down on what Alessandra said. The school my son is in does NOT get great scores at Greatschools.org.  I was nervous buying the house here, etc. But they are GREAT.  People-wise? This is one of the best schools in the district. Teachers compete to get a job here and they don't have much turnover, so they have to wait for a spot to open up.  The teachers really care about their students.  There is not a lot of parent participation (Low income and the parents mostly work.) But there is a lot of love and acceptance from the teachers and staff. And they are Title 1 schools. My son doesn't have an IEP or anything. But when he was having social problems earlier this year, they were able to use some of the programs they have on hand for addressing IEP-type problems to help him work through it.  And while he's never been taught math 2 or 3 grade levels ahead. The teachers HAVE differentiated math for him and other students that already knew what was being taught. Challenge problems and the like. Meeting the students where they are.

[Janeway]

Also, for my struggling reader, I had him do book adventure. He could read any level he wanted of books. Reading is reading. Even reading "below level" helps increase fluency and speed and comprehension.

[Alessandra]

I want to double down on what Alessandra said. The school my son is in does NOT get great scores at Greatschools.org. I was nervous buying the house here, etc. But they are GREAT. People-wise? This is one of the best schools in the district. Teachers compete to get a job here and they don't have much turnover, so they have to wait for a spot to open up. The teachers really care about their students. There is not a lot of parent participation (Low income and the parents mostly work.) But there is a lot of love and acceptance from the teachers and staff. And they are Title 1 schools. My son doesn't have an IEP or anything. But when he was having social problems earlier this year, they were able to use some of the programs they have on hand for addressing IEP-type problems to help him work through it. And while he's never been taught math 2 or 3 grade levels ahead. The teachers HAVE differentiated math for him and other students that already knew what was being taught. Challenge problems and the like. Meeting the students where they are.

What a great post! And an excellent point about teacher longevity being a good, objective criterion for a good school.

 

And a point about Title 1. A few years ago, the Feds changed the criteria for allocating Title 1 funding. Around here, many affluent districts are receiving some Title 1 funds. I can tell you that people's jaws dropped when they heard their districts were getting Title 1, lol.

Edited May 19, 2016 by Alessandra

[Harriet Vane]

Michelle, just wanted to say YOU ARE A ROCK STAR!!!

 

Good for you thinking outside the box and being willing to consider any option that will help your son.

 

And GOOD FOR YOU going to nursing school. 

 

You've come a long way, baby.

 

:hurray:

[vonfirmath]

What a great post! And an excellent point about teacher longevity being a good, objective criterion for a good school.

 

And a point about Title 1. A few years ago, the Feds changed the criteria for allocating Title 1 funding. Around here, many affluent districts are receiving some Title 1 funds. I can tell you that people's jaws dropped when they heard their districts were getting Title 1, lol.

 

It is a BIG advantage to a school to be able to use Title 1 funding for the entire school and not just specific populations.  But yes, there are schools that receive designated Title 1 funds too.

 

[dancingmama]

I will also say to be careful with the greatschools numbers. My son's elementary school is the lowest scoring in our town however, the majority of special Ed is housed there. We went from school to school interviewing the principals and getting tours. The brand new, shiny school would have been a disaster for my son with big picture windows and the limited walls covered in stuff (posters, projects, etc). The rooms looked out to a glorious computer "pod". It was all high tech and fancy. My son walked out of there saying "no. Just. No.". We went to another school and the teachers all greeted us, the principal went out of his way to answer all our and my son's questions, the rooms were old school with normal sized windows, walls uncluttered. Very old school school. No big, fancy computer lab. But the Kids with severe needs had their own wing and were integrated throughout the day, all the specialists were housed there, and the teachers were very invested. My boy was immediately pleased and loved it there.

[Alessandra]

I will also say to be careful with the greatschools numbers. My son's elementary school is the lowest scoring in our town however, the majority of special Ed is housed there. We went from school to school interviewing the principals and getting tours. The brand new, shiny school would have been a disaster for my son with big picture windows and the limited walls covered in stuff (posters, projects, etc). The rooms looked out to a glorious computer "pod". It was all high tech and fancy. My son walked out of there saying "no. Just. No.". We went to another school and the teachers all greeted us, the principal went out of his way to answer all our and my son's questions, the rooms were old school with normal sized windows, walls uncluttered. Very old school school. No big, fancy computer lab. But the Kids with severe needs had their own wing and were integrated throughout the day, all the specialists were housed there, and the teachers were very invested. My boy was immediately pleased and loved it there.

Like, like, like this post.

[ElizabethB]

I am not sure if I posted my charts in here or not, long thread and I have to run out, my one page chart that I just completed will be a good reference while reading.

 

http://www.thephonicspage.org/On%20Reading/Resources/40LChartsCombined.pdf

Edited May 20, 2016 by ElizabethB

[Michelle My Bell]

Michelle, just wanted to say YOU ARE A ROCK STAR!!!

 

Good for you thinking outside the box and being willing to consider any option that will help your son.

 

And GOOD FOR YOU going to nursing school. 

 

You've come a long way, baby.

 

:hurray:

 

 

Thank you so much! I actually just found out today that I am officially admitted into the nursing program this fall. I have been doing pre-nursing up to this point. Just finished Biology and Chemistry. It has been a great day! Love you all!!

[Harriet Vane]

Thank you so much! I actually just found out today that I am officially admitted into the nursing program this fall. I have been doing pre-nursing up to this point. Just finished Biology and Chemistry. It has been a great day! Love you all!!

 

 

You go, girl!

 

:party:

[LucyStoner]

I would explore public school options.

 

If it's a small school holding back several other kids though? That raises huge red flags for me.

[maize]

Thank you so much! I actually just found out today that I am officially admitted into the nursing program this fall. I have been doing pre-nursing up to this point. Just finished Biology and Chemistry. It has been a great day! Love you all!!

Congratulations, that is huge!

[LucyStoner]

Is it possible that this school uses this as a strategy to eliminate certain students?

I attended a school where lots of kids were held back. It was a way to bump up their test scores. Several teachers told my mom that was what the principal was up too and pressured them to identify less advanced kids. Some kids left that school at age 13 and it was only a K-5. That's probably not a big motivator at a private school though.

 

I have heard of some tiny private schools doing it to get another year of tuition or to maintain enough kids in that class if new registrations weren't coming in at that grade.

 

It could also be that their standards aren't grade or age appropriate or that they are not fully able to address special needs. In a public school they could perhaps advance him to the 4th grade but do more pull out work or send him to the 3rd grade for reading class only or place him in a 3rd-4th grade split.

Edited May 20, 2016 by LucyStoner

[Rebel Yell]

I ran out of "likes" long ago... I have a thought that I haven't seen yet: Is the private school actually teaching at grade level? I have seen quite a few private school brag about how advanced their students are, and what they do is use curriculum a grade ahead. So is the 3rd grade class using the 4th grade materials? Or is the publisher itself ahead of a typical grade level? That can make it harder for an actual-3rd-grader to be a 3rd grader when they're trying to keep up with 4th grade materials.

 

Good luck to the OP, and CONGRATS on nursing school!!!

[PeterPan]

Abeka was the one that bumped everything a grade to make their students look more advanced.  BJU (what her cs is using), as a philosophy, does not do that.  They did revamp their math a few years ago to meet new standards.  I think some schools are probably using the old editions anyway.  Either way, BJU materials are not considered a grade ahead but just right on target normal.

 

[Southern Ivy]

Abeka was the one that bumped everything a grade to make their students look more advanced.  BJU (what her cs is using), as a philosophy, does not do that.  They did revamp their math a few years ago to meet new standards.  I think some schools are probably using the old editions anyway.  Either way, BJU materials are not considered a grade ahead but just right on target normal.

I went through Abeka. I can totally see that. 

I had a friend who came to our school in 5th. Straight A student. Had Fs through most of 5th. She caught up quickly, though. 

 

 

[Michelle My Bell]

Quick update... My son is doing ok at the public school. He has come a long way in his reading ability but he is still behind and he tells me all the time that he doesn't understand what he needs to do. He told me today he is often held in for recess and lunch to finish work. This upsets me as I feel he needs a break and a chance to hang out with his friends. I really wanted to just pull him from the school today and homeschool him using BJU DVD's. He doesn't feel like he has any friends at the school because of this. Anyhow, I sent the teacher a text asking her to please help me look into getting him an IEP. 

 

I don't know, I may still pull him at Christmas if things don't improve. It will be very difficult with my nursing school load, but I believe it is doable. I'll check back when something changes. Thanks for your continued support!

[Storygirl]

I hope the teacher has a helpful response to your request. To make an official request, either you or the teacher will need to make a written request to the special education department of the school. You can do this yourself, even without the teacher's support, but since they will require teacher input when deciding whether to evaluate him, it would be good for her to be in agreement with you.

[PeterPan]

Quick update... My son is doing ok at the public school. He has come a long way in his reading ability but he is still behind and he tells me all the time that he doesn't understand what he needs to do. He told me today he is often held in for recess and lunch to finish work. This upsets me as I feel he needs a break and a chance to hang out with his friends. I really wanted to just pull him from the school today and homeschool him using BJU DVD's. He doesn't feel like he has any friends at the school because of this. Anyhow, I sent the teacher a text asking her to please help me look into getting him an IEP. 

 

I don't know, I may still pull him at Christmas if things don't improve. It will be very difficult with my nursing school load, but I believe it is doable. I'll check back when something changes. Thanks for your continued support!

 

There's no reason not to do the IEP, even if you are pulling him.  If you pull him, you'll want evals anyway, and this way they're free AND followed up with paperwork on what to do.  If you are homeschooling, the ps will eval but only give you results, no IEP saying what to DO with the info.  And any homeschooler who has done that knows the hard part is knowing what to do with the info!  

 

So I would bless that teacher, start the IEP process, and make the decision to pull when it seems appropriate.  Given how he's functioning, he's probably not going to do well in BJU dvds done straight either.  Has he done them before?  If he has SLDs, he needs intervention and accommodations.  BJU can be unmercifully long.

 

Adding: I would NOT let them cut recess for SLDs and not keeping up.  They can provide after school help.  Kids learn BETTER with recess, and it's a time when he's normal and disabilities aren't holding him back.  Don't allow that. The data is firmly against it and it's demoralizing.

Edited October 14, 2016 by OhElizabeth

[Starr]

I go crazy with the no recess policy for work not completed. All of our young people need exercise and a break.

[...................]

never mind...I just saw your update.

 

I think you should absolutely seek an IEP! I don't know why the school didn't evaluate him in the first place.  

 

 

Edited October 14, 2016 by Calming Tea

[MistyMountain]

I hope the school responds positively to your request for starting the IEP process. I am sorry things are tough for him and he is missing recess. I dislike when they have kids miss recess. They need the socialization and energy break. I am sorry you are going through this. It is not easy to see your kids have a hard time at school.

[Lecka]

You need to write a letter yourself for the IEP. It is better than asking the teacher. I learned this the hard way. Just write the letter, it is no big deal. It seems like a big deal, but then it turns out it is not.

 

You can google for a template letter for requesting evaluation.

 

Talk to the teacher, too. But don't leave it for her to do for you, when it is really better if you do the part that a parent can do.

 

That is writing a letter requesting an evaluation. Also talk to the teacher.

 

But it is not set up for the teacher to do it all or for you to only go through the teacher -- do write the letter. It is just a short letter saying you request an eval because of a, b, c reasons or just one reason with one sentence or so per reason.

 

Edit: I think you can put as a reason the staying-in-at-recess. If he is staying in all the time that is a sign of a problem! Very different than if he stayed in once or twice a month.

Edited October 15, 2016 by Lecka

[OneStepAtATime]

I agree, you need to write your own letter and submit it ASAP. The IEP process can be quite long and it is already mid October. You need to be very proactive if you want anything done in time to help for this school year. Talk to the teacher, too, obviously, and keep her in the loop but that formal letter needs to come from you. There are templates online. Start a rough draft over the weekend.

 

Good luck.

[Lecka]

I just wanted to add -- talking to the teacher seems like the right thing, but the right thing is to also write the letter.

 

It is a different process if a teacher brings things up or if a parent does. You need to do the one where a parent brings it up to the school and not just going through the teacher.

 

I found this out the hard way.

 

It is just how things are set up.

 

Teacher concerns go to the end of the line behind parent concerns, unless there are major behavior issues. You need a parent letter or he will just stay at the bottom of the line forever or maybe for 1-2 years.

 

Write a letter and you should have follow up within 2 months.

 

Or take a chance that they get to your son with no parent letter.

 

This is a bureaucracy to the teacher, too, and one where a parent letter moves things along more than a teacher request.

Edited October 15, 2016 by Lecka

[Lecka]

I am more optimistic on the timing.

 

I think you could get a fast response on the recess issue. If the teacher says her hands are tied then talk to the principal or sending him/her an email. I would think that could be resolved fast. Or, you know where you stand.

 

If you want him to have more tutoring than he gets already etc. that could take longer.

 

If there are any simple steps to take that could happen faster.

 

But for the recess issue -- I don't see that taking a longer time. I think either you talk to the teacher and it is resolved, or you then talk to the principal and it is resolved. Or you know they are jerks.

 

Other things I agree could take longer.

 

Edit:

 

Also you could find the teacher says he isn't kept in that often, it just seemed that way to him one day.

 

Also if the teacher knows he doesn't feel he has friends, he/she may be able to do some things to help, like put him as partners with someone he might be friends with when they do

group work.

 

Or just look for little things to do.

 

You can see what response you get, hopefully a good one, and if not, you know where you stand.

Edited October 15, 2016 by Lecka

[idnib]

Lots of good advice here. I'll just add that if there's a way for him to get 15-20 minutes of exercise before school that could help, not just with getting blood flowing, but also until this problem with not getting recess is resolved. It doesn't help with the social issue, but at least it may have an impact of him getting some movement in the morning.

[RootAnn]

I remember this thread! Didn't you write to the PS in May requesting an IEP? That should have started the timeline. I'd follow that back up because he should already be in progress on Evals based on that letter.

[Lecka]

Yes, if you sent a letter in May it should have been followed up on! 

 

If you didn't, it is not too late, you can do it now. 

 

If you did, though, I think I would suggest e-mailing or calling the principal?  That is what I would think of.   

 

I get very nervy about this stuff, so you have my thoughts and sympathies if it is hard to take the step of writing a letter, or possibly moving on to the principal on the recess issue depending on what you find out when you talk to the teacher.  But there is every chance of things going well and them being responsive to you, even if there is also the chance of them being rude or difficult.  And you have got the option to homeschool, which I think is very valuable, b/c you can take them or leave them.  But I think it might be worth it to try to do the advocacy thing. 

Edited October 16, 2016 by Lecka

[Reefgazer]

I'm pro-holding a kid back if they need it, but I would draw the line at holding back two years.  I agree with 4th grade with significant support, even if you need to change schools (although it seems like the school did do a great job with him this past year, so it sounds like a good school).

I don't see what would be gained by having him repeat 3rd grade.  Sure, he would get more time to practice reading, but that is about it.

 

On the other hand, they are probably right that sending him to 4th would be a problem too.

 

To my mind options would be: significant support (maybe from you) through 4th.  Another school or program that would really move him on appropriatly (and grade designation likely would not matter so much as what they actually did with him.) Homescholling - even if it was nothing but reading practice and math, seems like it would be better than repeating 3rd.  At least he'd go on in math and could do other things on his own time rather than sit in a class and be bored.

 

[Michelle My Bell]

Another update: 2/25/17

 

So I tried for an IEP but ultimately it was decided that my son didn't have any learning disabilities. The staff all met with me and I shared every concern I had. It was decided that they would give him "time" accommodations so that he could really think through his work and get it done. He was very slow but little by little I have seen him blossom. He is completely at grade level now and I couldn't be more pleased or proud of my little guy. The teachers really have been very good to him at this  school and I am so thankful for all the advice. My son works very hard and it shows. Daily he comes home to tell me things he is learning (and excited) about. Recently it was all about matter, atoms and electrons. He was also super excited about hyperbole's, similes, and metaphors. He actually got a 34/35 of that English test. I couldn't have even passed that! I am so thankful to all of you for helping me through this last year. My plan is to have him go to public school one more year and then, when I am done with nursing school, I may revisit homeschooling him or other options. I do miss homeschooling so much. In fact, I may bring home my 7th grader next year. She is at that private christian school and while the environment is good, I am not impressed with their academics. They are also very expensive. So we will see if I can make it work. 

Edited February 25, 2017 by Michelle My Bell

[Harriet Vane]

I'm so glad it's working out so well! Praise God!

[MinivanMom]

Thank you for keeping us updated. I'm so glad he's doing well.

[VinNY]

 Do you have a copy of these evaluation reports? Do you understand these reports and the scoring? Check out the subscores for each of these tests. What was his processing speed like on his WISC (as well as working memory) Schools can not diagnose only doctors or neuropsychologists for example. Under IDEA, you can disagree with their evaluation and ask for an Independent Educational Evaluation at district expense. 

[idnib]

I've been thinking about you and your little guy. Thanks for the update!

[Reefgazer]

Sounds like an awesome update!

[Lilaclady]

Great. So happy he is doing much better. Good luck with your nursing program

[gstharr]

 

 

We live in a good school district but my son has a hand deformity and I was concerned that children would be cruel to him in a public school setting. I love the school he is in, but maybe I should consider trying the public school for one year. You have all given me so much to think about. I am truly grateful!

 

I think you will be very surprised of how accepting children of this era are of such differences. I've been in many public and private schools, good areas and poor,  and have seen many children with severe physical disabilities, including many  being wheel chair bound.  I have never observed anything insensitive. I've actually been surprised how caring the children are for their friends. 

 

After an assessment to find the underlying issue, the next few months exploring your options with the public schools. P.S. are required by law to make accommodations. 

[Another Lynn]

So thrilled to read your update1  That's wonderful!!!   :hurray:  :hurray:  :hurray: