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WWYD? Son is being held back at local christian school.


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A friends kid was like this and got held back and is now at the bottom of the class two years below. Where there are learning difficulties, repeating the same curriculum over doesn't seem to help, these kids need more individual attention. Unfortunately small private schools seem to have difficulty due to staff and budget constraints providing the attention.

 

It seems like the principal thinks you are purely worried because your son was upset (which is a little bit how your email sounds) rather than worried that it's not the right choice. He also sounds like he is blaming the adjustment period from home to school which could be a factor but at this point I think he should be looking into learning difficulties not blaming you.

 

If they are expecting a significant after school time investment anyway how much harder would it be to homeschool? Otherwise I'd be looking at the public school as I wouldn't want to hold him back or deal with the fairly inflexible attitude you seem to be getting from the school.

 

And it's even more than this.  BJU3.  This is something a gifted 7 yo can do without a problem.  This boy is how old???  Do they REALLY think he won't notice that the materials are NOT at his thought level at all??  Does he have a language disability?  If he doesn't, he's definitely going to notice.  The reading level of the texts increases each year.  To put a 10/11 yo, who possibly has a very bright or even gifted IQ, into that 3rd grade book again is to make it TERRIBLY OBVIOUS to him that it's babyish and that he's failing or dumb.  It's WRONG, so wrong, like immoral.

 

It would be better to get him adult books on audio, skip school ENTIRELY, and put your tuition money instead into an hour a day of OG tutoring.  Find a kind soul who will let him stay at their house while you're gone.  Load up his kindle, and do tutoring an hour a day.  He'd learn more and come out intact.  He's at a great age for Snap Circuits.  Nuts, he could do the BJU videos at home.  Seriously.  Spit on these people and get the BJU dvds to match his IQ.  Like the 5th grade or 6th grade.  Do that for the history and science.  For math use MUS or hire a tutor.  For LA do everything with the tutor.  Done.  Then he's on grade level, getting intervention, and WHOLE in his soul.  

 

BJU has those texts as ebooks.  I haven't tried it yet, but I'm hoping you can use Voicedream or something and get them to read to you.  An ipad will read everything on the screen using the accessibility options.  Seriously.  There is just no reason that a bright 10/11 yo with a reading disability should not be functioning, at least for content subjects, ON GRADE LEVEL.  He can use dictation software to do the writing assignments.  All the worksheets can be scanned and done on an ipad with dictation or typing.  He should be ON GRADE LEVEL for everything that is not directly disability.  Better to overshoot and accommodate than to undershoot and discourage.

 

So yes, my ds can't read a simple chapter book, but he listens to college lectures and adult audiobooks.  Because nobody is gonna tell my boy he's DUMB.  He's not dumb.

 

Adding: For that age, he could do MOH on audio and the Apologia books on audio, done.  He doesn't need the BJU stuff at all.  MOH has the audio for MOH 1 on the CM bundle deal right now for like $30 for the whole bundle.

Edited by OhElizabeth
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I couldn't quite read between the lines in their email about how he was curious and amazed at the things going on in the classroom. They made him sound like a country yokel out in the big city for the first time. Was he really so shocked for the entire 9 months and unable to figure out how the classroom worked? For all 9 months? What was that code for? It felt like code for something. Some sort of developmental delay that they don't want to put in words. The part about not following directions well and being distracted...what was *that* code for? ADHD?

 

 

That part struck me as weird also. I would ask them to please be direct about what they mean by this. "If you have specific concerns, please don't worry about upsetting me with them. I need information in order to help ds." 

 

They actually might believe that the sheltered homeschooler needs two years to adjust to the excitement and glamour of a classroom, or they might say something a bit more helpful. I would at least ask. 

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Actually, OhE has a really good point.  If you could find someone your son could stay with while you are in school, I agree he would almost certainly be better off listening to audio books (for pleasure and content knowledge), getting one on one official OG tutoring each week (or if there is a homeschooler that has something like Barton and is willing to tutor him) for increasing his independent reading/writing/grammar skills, and having him work through maybe an on-line math program plus some supplemental work with you in the evenings than repeating 3rd grade again.  You could look at some of the Critical Thinking Company materials for improving deductive reasoning, inference, etc.  Just have someone else read the material to him so his decoding/encoding don't bog him down in his efforts to increase his critical thinking skills.

 

I would still seek an evaluation for CAPD, as well as start the process of evaluation through a neuropsych or at least start the ball rolling with an evaluation through the local public school and I would start that ball rolling right now.  Write the letter and turn it into the school tomorrow to start the ball rolling.

 

Intelligence and capability do not have to be tied to a person's ability to read independently.  Give him avenues for continuing to learn that are separate from his reading capabilities.  Work on reading skills but don't tie his success in all other subjects to the pace of the acquisition of those reading skills.

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Ok, I've been ranting, but this is why.  I watched this video after getting my ds' diagnosis, and it moved me profoundly.  Susan tells the story of her nephew and why she got into the dyslexia field and how much her nephew's experience affected him, leaving him feeling discouraged for YEARS, in spite of a gifted IQ.

 

 

Edited by OhElizabeth
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Actually, OhE has a really good point.  If you could find someone your son could stay with while you are in school, I agree he would almost certainly be better off listening to audio books (for pleasure and content knowledge), getting one on one official OG tutoring each week (or if there is a homeschooler that has something like Barton and is willing to tutor him) for increasing his independent reading/writing/grammar skills, and having him work through maybe an on-line math program plus some supplemental work with you in the evenings than repeating 3rd grade again.  You could look at some of the Critical Thinking Company materials for improving deductive reasoning, inference, etc.  Just have someone else read the material to him so his decoding/encoding don't bog him down in his efforts to increase his critical thinking skills.

 

I would still seek an evaluation for CAPD, as well as start the process of evaluation through a neuropsych or at least start the ball rolling with an evaluation through the local public school and I would start that ball rolling right now.  Write the letter and turn it into the school tomorrow to start the ball rolling.

 

Intelligence and capability do not have to be tied to a person's ability to read independently.  Give him avenues for continuing to learn that are separate from his reading capabilities.  Work on reading skills but don't tie his success in all other subjects to the pace of the acquisition of those reading skills.

 

I was taking it even farther.  For the cost of the cs, he could have an hour of OG a day with a top level tutor in our area.  That's someone with an SLP, multiple certificates and certifications, etc.  For half that amount, you can have a lower trained (only OG) person.  Or for peanuts comparatively you could buy Barton and have any human who can read pick up the program and do it with him.  But I would make sure he's getting that an hour a day.  Hour a week wouldn't be enough, not if it's all his LA.

 

The SCAN3 does not include phonological processing in the screening, but another tool (TAPS) does.  There's definitely that sense in which APD could affect phonological processing and reading, and I've taken both my kids to be checked and totally agree with getting it checked.  However you *can* have both going on.  You *know* at this point that the reading tutor is getting progress, so it's vital to continue.

 

I think you could ask really serious questions about what it would take to get him back at age-grade level in a year.  Typically the dyslexia school in our area will take kids for a couple years and do precisely that, getting them ready to go back in and mainstream.  I just think it's really questionable to tell a 10/11 yo, who may have totally normal language skills, that he has to be in science on level for 7/8/9 yos, when it's not IQ-appropriate at all.  If he were in the ps, they wouldn't allow it.  It's not healthy.  It's demoralizing.  They could put him in grade level content subjects TODAY if they were willing to use the tech and accommodate.  

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I was taking it even farther.  For the cost of the cs, he could have an hour of OG a day with a top level tutor in our area.  That's someone with an SLP, multiple certificates and certifications, etc.  For half that amount, you can have a lower trained (only OG) person.  Or for peanuts comparatively you could buy Barton and have any human who can read pick up the program and do it with him.  But I would make sure he's getting that an hour a day.  Hour a week wouldn't be enough, not if it's all his LA.

 

The SCAN3 does not include phonological processing in the screening, but another tool (TAPS) does.  There's definitely that sense in which APD could affect phonological processing and reading, and I've taken both my kids to be checked and totally agree with getting it checked.  However you *can* have both going on.  You *know* at this point that the reading tutor is getting progress, so it's vital to continue.

 

I think you could ask really serious questions about what it would take to get him back at age-grade level in a year.  Typically the dyslexia school in our area will take kids for a couple years and do precisely that, getting them ready to go back in and mainstream.  I just think it's really questionable to tell a 10/11 yo, who may have totally normal language skills, that he has to be in science on level for 7/8/9 yos, when it's not IQ-appropriate at all.  If he were in the ps, they wouldn't allow it.  It's not healthy.  It's demoralizing.  They could put him in grade level content subjects TODAY if they were willing to use the tech and accommodate.  

I agree.  It doesn't sound like comprehension is the issue and he is making good grades.  His content materials could be provided through audio input or someone reading the materials to him while his reading skills are worked on separately.  The two do NOT have to be tied together.

 

OP, with as much progress as your son has made in a short period of time, I could easily see him being up to grade level in reading functionality within a year with targeted OG tutoring.  He could work on the content knowledge through audio based resources and maybe something on-line that reads the material to him.  

 

The bigger potential stumbling block is if there are other issues comorbid with his reading struggles.   CAPD, ADHD, and other things like that might continue to slow him down if they are not discovered and addressed.

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I am a little concerned about everyone advocating auditory learning when he may have CAPD. My CAPD kiddo does listen to some audio, but not if I want fantastic comprehension. Audio with a supportive adult standing by for discussion and ensuring comprehension, maybe. Audio where he can control the rate of playback, maybe. It will depend a LOT on what profile of CAPD he has, but especially if he has trouble with his rate of taking in speech, he's not going to be able to do strong auditory learning. Even if he can play it back slower, etc., the fatigue factor is monumental. 

 

OP, you can ask your son if he thinks he hears fine, and if he can understand audio books, but he has no baseline for "fine." My son has only recently started to realize that people talk too fast for him and started advocating for people to slow down. And that's in very small settings where he is comfortable with the speaker (me, a family friend).

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The kicker for me would be their inflexibility regarding the "whole grade" retention. They plan to hold him back even in subjects he is ready to move forward in.

 

If he does have LDs, holding him back will not only NOT help him, but could very well devastate him. If he has LDs, it's entirely possible that he will always struggle more in certain areas - and holding him back isn't going to fix that. 

 

If there's any piece of you that is still considering putting him in the same school next year, I would ask the school how they plan to handle the fact that he has already been through their third grade curriculum.  Will there be any variations?  In other words, do they study trees and colonial times one year, and oceans and civil war the next?  Or are the topics in science and history and art and music going to be pretty much the same?  Will the assignments be different?  Or, if they built a model of a Native American wigwam last year and made a poster about Benjamin Franklin, will he be doing the same projects next year?  That's for social studies and history.  How will they handle the  math?  Will he be learning any new material next year?  Or will he be using the same book and doing the same problems as he did this year?

 

He clearly seems to need another year of 3rd-grade-ish READING instruction.  But ideally, it will be reading DIFFERENT books, doing DIFFERENT worksheets and projects about them.  This is even more true of the other subjects, in which he is not behind.  "Repeating" a grade should NOT mean repeating the exact same assignments and experiences.  That would be a significant waste of his time, when he could be learning much, much more from doing DIFFERENT things, even if they are on a similar level (which in this case only needs to be the case for reading).

 

I think it sounds like there is a legitimate concern about "learn to read" in 3rd grade vs. "read to learn" in 4th grade, so I would not put him in a 4th grade classroom without an evaluation of his issues and an IEP that includes a plan for accommodations for his weaknesses and also a plan to challenge his strengths.  He may need accommodations (like being able to listen to novels on audio) well into middle school, so you would be wise to find a setting (public school, home-based something-or-other) where he will have this support for the long term.

 

I do think summer remediation is a wise move.  I do NOT think it will help to muddy the waters with additional chores (unless they include reading!).  He needs to have time to work on the reading - ideally several times throughout each day - think bedtime reading, for example.  And he needs play time in which to process what he's learned.  

 

And, gently, you may want to consider whether you can put aside your own studies for a year or so to focus on his needs.  Now,that may not be possible.  But if it is possible to eliminate other things right now, every minute spent getting him up to speed NOW, rather than letting him get further behind, it will be well worth the investment.

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I am a little concerned about everyone advocating auditory learning when he may have CAPD. My CAPD kiddo does listen to some audio, but not if I want fantastic comprehension. Audio with a supportive adult standing by for discussion and ensuring comprehension, maybe. Audio where he can control the rate of playback, maybe. It will depend a LOT on what profile of CAPD he has, but especially if he has trouble with his rate of taking in speech, he's not going to be able to do strong auditory learning. Even if he can play it back slower, etc., the fatigue factor is monumental. 

 

OP, you can ask your son if he thinks he hears fine, and if he can understand audio books, but he has no baseline for "fine." My son has only recently started to realize that people talk too fast for him and started advocating for people to slow down. And that's in very small settings where he is comfortable with the speaker (me, a family friend).

I agree.  Sorry kbutton.  I should have clarified what I was posting.  I think an evaluation for CAPD should be done ASAP.  If he is dealing with CAPD then audio input might still work but it would be more problematic than it otherwise might have.  If he had a resource that read slowly, he could listen to with headsets to cut down on outside sounds, and he could pause and repeat, that might be workable, depending on the severity of the CAPD issues.

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That's kinda what I interpreted it to mean. It's a passive-aggressive way of saying they don't approve of homeschooling.

 

Some Christian schools are quite supportive of homeschooling and even have programs that support homeschoolers specifically.  I wonder where this particular school falls on this issue.

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I am a little concerned about everyone advocating auditory learning when he may have CAPD. My CAPD kiddo does listen to some audio, but not if I want fantastic comprehension. Audio with a supportive adult standing by for discussion and ensuring comprehension, maybe. Audio where he can control the rate of playback, maybe. It will depend a LOT on what profile of CAPD he has, but especially if he has trouble with his rate of taking in speech, he's not going to be able to do strong auditory learning. Even if he can play it back slower, etc., the fatigue factor is monumental. 

 

OP, you can ask your son if he thinks he hears fine, and if he can understand audio books, but he has no baseline for "fine." My son has only recently started to realize that people talk too fast for him and started advocating for people to slow down. And that's in very small settings where he is comfortable with the speaker (me, a family friend).

 

The thread has gotten so long, I missed the description of the symptoms she was having.  A lot of people think CAPD and it's not.  I'm ALL FOR the evals, absolutely, but APD has some pretty specific symptoms you usually have (difficulty understanding with background noise).  There are longer lists, but those lists overlap with lots of other things.  That's what I was trying to get at with my mention of the TAPS.  It's half phonological processing, which a dyslexic fails.  So even to know if she's on-track seeking that, you'd want some symptoms that are pretty specific to APD.  And EVEN THEN they can occur at a level that are subclinical, relative weaknesses that get chocked up to the ADHD and don't get a separate diagnosis.  

 

But I agree, yes eval, totally eval.  I just missed whatever she was saying about auditory symptoms, so it wasn't factoring into my pea-brained suggestions.  :D

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I couldn't quite read between the lines in their email about how he was curious and amazed at the things going on in the classroom. They made him sound like a country yokel out in the big city for the first time. Was he really so shocked for the entire 9 months and unable to figure out how the classroom worked? For all 9 months? What was that code for? It felt like code for something. Some sort of developmental delay that they don't want to put in words. The part about not following directions well and being distracted...what was *that* code for? ADHD?

 

My oldest started school when she was 12. It took her well over a school year to really be able to get into the swing of things. She struggled for months and months to understand and remember basic routines at school (such as the things the kids were supposed to do when they first entered the classroom in the morning) and to integrate into the life of the school such that she wasn't frequently in need of reminders and guidance. For example, she would ask her teacher multiple times a day when they would be having lunch.

 

With my dd, it is due to executive function issues. If the OP's son has learning challenges, he could very well be struggling with poor executive function.

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If a principal tells the student's mother in May that 4th grade is not a possibility in August/September, I believe that is exactly what was said. The principal is cutting off the possibility of advancing even if the student improves.

 

No, he is saying that he thinks it is unlikely enough that putting it before the student as a real possibility could cause more harm than good.  A 10 year old who is told if he studies hard and improves he can go on to grade 4 will have a lot emotionally invested in that.  So what if the chances are that even if he works hard, he won't get there? How will that affect his confidence?

 

He may also feel significant pressure around the study itself if he knows he has to meet a particular milestone by a particular date. He realistically only has a little control over the outcome, he can choose to work hard, but many factors for his success are totally beyond his control.   Shutting down is a typical response to that kind of pressure.

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The thread has gotten so long, I missed the description of the symptoms she was having.  A lot of people think CAPD and it's not.  I'm ALL FOR the evals, absolutely, but APD has some pretty specific symptoms you usually have (difficulty understanding with background noise).  There are longer lists, but those lists overlap with lots of other things.  That's what I was trying to get at with my mention of the TAPS.  It's half phonological processing, which a dyslexic fails.  So even to know if she's on-track seeking that, you'd want some symptoms that are pretty specific to APD.  And EVEN THEN they can occur at a level that are subclinical, relative weaknesses that get chocked up to the ADHD and don't get a separate diagnosis.  

 

But I agree, yes eval, totally eval.  I just missed whatever she was saying about auditory symptoms, so it wasn't factoring into my pea-brained suggestions.   :D

 

I agree.  Sorry kbutton.  I should have clarified what I was posting.  I think an evaluation for CAPD should be done ASAP.  If he is dealing with CAPD then audio input might still work but it would be more problematic than it otherwise might have.  If he had a resource that read slowly, he could listen to with headsets to cut down on outside sounds, and he could pause and repeat, that might be workable, depending on the severity of the CAPD issues.

 

It's the school that suggested CAPD if IIRC, so it wasn't a big discussion. I think if the school thinks it might be CAPD, then there is a real possibility they are correct--it can really fly under the radar if you don't know what you are looking for. Combined with them doing FFW, I think it's a very big possibility. And yes, audio stuff might still work, it's just not as cut and dry. Some devices let you adjust playback speed, and that is a potentially good option if the problem is speed. Ditto for headphones if the problem is background noise. Then there are several other potential CAPD issues, lol! My kiddo has trouble with speed and background noise, but not everyone does.

 

I agree that TAPS is not definitive for CAPD. I actually thought my son was going to do pretty well on it, and he didn't do so hot, but yes, it's just one test that can indicate several different problems without saying which one is behind a problem score.

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No, he is saying that he thinks it is unlikely enough that putting it before the student as a real possibility could cause more harm than good. 

 

I guess we disagree. My son struggles academically, and for him, knowing that he can improve and move along as he is able is extremely important to him. If someone came along and said, "In four months, you still won't be ready," he would be incredibly demotivated. My son would rather try and not make it than be told he can't make it anyway.

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The more I read about your situation, the more I think the school's actions are immoral.  

 

They aren't actually proposing *doing* anything about the situation.  For supposed *educators* to be faced with a 5th-grade-aged child who they want to put in  3rd grade again, despite only having symptoms of an LD in one area, and for them to simply propose a do-over is flat-out WRONG.  They are only impersonating educators.  Run away from this school and don't look back.  Get started on finding the actual reason for your son's difficulties.  He deserves so much more than a bandaid that says 'pray about it :) '.

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:grouphug: I didn't like the tone of the letters. Did the tutor ask you to work with your son after school on his reading or was this letter the first time it was mentioned? If I had been in your shoes, I would have expected the professional tutor to take charge of his progress. Also, the good grades on his report card would have also led me to believe that the school was meeting his reading needs without you needing to do extra work at home on top of what your son was doing at school.

 

It also sounds like they believe he needs another year to get used to the classroom setting. What does that mean exactly? Was this issue ever brought up before to you? I don't get the thought process on why repeating 3rd grade would help him get used to a classroom setting when 4th grade is obviously also a classroom setting.

 

Good luck. :grouphug:

Yes. This. I agree with this.

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It's the school that suggested CAPD if IIRC, so it wasn't a big discussion. I think if the school thinks it might be CAPD, then there is a real possibility they are correct--it can really fly under the radar if you don't know what you are looking for. Combined with them doing FFW, I think it's a very big possibility. And yes, audio stuff might still work, it's just not as cut and dry. Some devices let you adjust playback speed, and that is a potentially good option if the problem is speed. Ditto for headphones if the problem is background noise. Then there are several other potential CAPD issues, lol! My kiddo has trouble with speed and background noise, but not everyone does.

 

I agree that TAPS is not definitive for CAPD. I actually thought my son was going to do pretty well on it, and he didn't do so hot, but yes, it's just one test that can indicate several different problems without saying which one is behind a problem score.

 

If the school suspected APD, WHY, WHY, WHY did they not push this mom to get an IEP???  She's saying they're big enough that they have intervention services, but do they actually work with their local ps and help students get IEPs?  WHY is this not happening???  It has literally cost her $$$$$ in scholarship money.  That dc could have had the scholarship for this coming year.  

 

I'm just saying the op can back up and ask why they aren't pushing her to get the disabilities identified.  Are they anti-psychology, anti-diagnosis?  This is COMMON in cs.  It's a question she's going to need to ask.  It might be she's getting help IN SPITE of the administration of the school, not because of it.  It might be one or two people have been making things happen but the administration as a whole only pays lip service to disabilities.  I don't know, just saying it would be a reasonable thing to sort out.  At this point, if they aren't HELPING her get the evals, they're standing in the way.  

 

But I'm very b&w.   :D

 

The op can get the SCAN3 for $35 at a university with less than a 2 week wait.  This is not hard to sort out.

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The more I read about your situation, the more I think the school's actions are immoral.  

 

They aren't actually proposing *doing* anything about the situation.  For supposed *educators* to be faced with a 5th-grade-aged child who they want to put in  3rd grade again, despite only having symptoms of an LD in one area, and for them to simply propose a do-over is flat-out WRONG.  They are only impersonating educators.  Run away from this school and don't look back.  Get started on finding the actual reason for your son's difficulties.  He deserves so much more than a bandaid that says 'pray about it :) '.

 

Yes. Immoral is a strong word, but the more I think about this, the more I think it's highly irresponsible of them to allow him to return in this situation. I would respect them as an institution a lot more if they were counseling you out, saying, hey, we tried, we like your kid, he has special gifts, but we simply don't feel like we're serving him fully here and we can't meet all his needs. Instead, they're doing what's easy for them, not best for him in any way, and not giving you the support you need, just taking your money.

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The more I read about your situation, the more I think the school's actions are immoral.  

 

They aren't actually proposing *doing* anything about the situation.  For supposed *educators* to be faced with a 5th-grade-aged child who they want to put in  3rd grade again, despite only having symptoms of an LD in one area, and for them to simply propose a do-over is flat-out WRONG.  They are only impersonating educators.  Run away from this school and don't look back.  Get started on finding the actual reason for your son's difficulties.  He deserves so much more than a bandaid that says 'pray about it :) '.

 

The anti-psychology movement is so strong in some christian circles, that it very well could be her cs is willing to intervene but not willing to use psychs or labels.  In those circles, CAPD is the new s*xy.  THAT label you can have, because it's from an audiologist, not a psychologist.  

 

I met someone in that camp, and when we talked about my dd's ADHD they're like oh, but don't you think it's CAPD?  No, um, I had her eval'd and it's not.  In fact, it's CAPD that's controversial.  It's not in the DSM and some consider the APD an effect of the ADHD.  There's also evidence APD symptoms sometimes improve with ADHD meds.

 

So I wouldn't be shocked if the kid ACTUALLY has ADHD, not CAPD, but the school is only willing to say CAPD because in their circle that's all that's acceptable.

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No, he is saying that he thinks it is unlikely enough that putting it before the student as a real possibility could cause more harm than good.  A 10 year old who is told if he studies hard and improves he can go on to grade 4 will have a lot emotionally invested in that.  So what if the chances are that even if he works hard, he won't get there? How will that affect his confidence?

 

He may also feel significant pressure around the study itself if he knows he has to meet a particular milestone by a particular date. He realistically only has a little control over the outcome, he can choose to work hard, but many factors for his success are totally beyond his control.   Shutting down is a typical response to that kind of pressure.

This. :iagree:

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Yes. Immoral is a strong word, but the more I think about this, the more I think it's highly irresponsible of them to allow him to return in this situation. I would respect them as an institution a lot more if they were counseling you out, saying, hey, we tried, we like your kid, he has special gifts, but we simply don't feel like we're serving him fully here and we can't meet all his needs. Instead, they're doing what's easy for them, not best for him in any way, and not giving you the support you need, just taking your money.

YES!  You know, I'm a school fan... I really am.  I think some folks are doing a kick tail job of offering something when parents simply cannot homeschool....  But I don't think they are offering alternatives, options, or choices that have a path leading to success for YOUR child.  I think, instead, they are offering you more of the same.  Now I applaud them for the private tutoring, but often we think private tutoring is something special.  While  it certainly CAN BE, if the curriculum isn't something your DS can process and use, then it's just as useless as in a classroom setting.  He needs something specific.  And I think the school doesn't know what that is.

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I guess we disagree. My son struggles academically, and for him, knowing that he can improve and move along as he is able is extremely important to him. If someone came along and said, "In four months, you still won't be ready," he would be incredibly demotivated. My son would rather try and not make it than be told he can't make it anyway.

 

 

To referee, lol, I think you're both advocates for your own student and for this one too.  I get what BlueGoat is saying... If I'm that principal and I don't understand what specific, thorough, effective OG tutoring can do in four months and I've seen students had their hearts broken by a carrot on a stick and then having it just out of reach and ripped away - I'm just not tossing that carrot out to them.  

 

Tara, on the other hand, you see that your kid is totally motivated by the option of success.  

 

I'm so very blessed to have two boys, both dyslexic, both who are overcoming their hurdles. I'm shocked by how differently motivated they are.

Tara, my oldest son is yours - if he has the POSSIBILITY tossed in front of him, he can move the earth.  My second son is an awesome kid.  But he is more easily broken.  I don't hold carrots out in front of him because if he can't reach that carrot, he internalizes it and it breaks bits off him.  

 

I suspect the principal is operating under do the least amount of damage, and I'd give him the benefit of the  doubt.  If these administrators knew the possibilties, they'd do everything in their power to have full time OG tutors there and they'd be instituting new curriculum.  They just, sadly, do NOT know.  They just know that 20% of kids fail to perform.  Some catch up.  Some never do.  Eventually they just accept it as a matter of fact.  It's very sad and it shows something broken in the admin and in the system.  You know, "You can't help everyone." Eventually they swallow that line.  Sigh.  

 

Some day...............  Some day.

 

 

 

 

 

 

ETA: And obviously I need to learn to multi-quote.

Edited by BlsdMama
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not giving you the support you need, just taking your money.

 

That occurred to me, too. "Let us take your money while we do nothing for your son." How many "extra" years do they expect/desire you to pay for? Imo, if the school is holding multiple kids back, then they are not teaching effectively, and at the very least they should allow the kids they failed to attend tuition-free.

 

But I would not send my child back there even if it were free.

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I hesitate to assume bad motives on the part of the school.  It sounds to me like they either don't know how to help this boy, or they don't have the resources for it.  I think they ought to counsel him out, but I am not going to assume they know that and only care about the money.  :)

 

Another thought - possibly "retaining" him is really their way of gently nudging him out.  I would assume that most parents nowadays wouldn't allow retention under the circumstances described above.  Even when repeating is advisable for a 10yo, people try to do it at another school to save the child the social embarrassment.

 

The reason I tend to give the school the benefit of the doubt on intentions is that they took the boy into the 3rd grade knowing he couldn't read, and they worked with him a lot over the year.  It sounds reasonable up to the point where they said he couldn't advance to 4th.

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If the school suspected APD, WHY, WHY, WHY did they not push this mom to get an IEP???  She's saying they're big enough that they have intervention services, but do they actually work with their local ps and help students get IEPs?  WHY is this not happening???  It has literally cost her $$$$$ in scholarship money.  That dc could have had the scholarship for this coming year.  

 

I'm just saying the op can back up and ask why they aren't pushing her to get the disabilities identified.  Are they anti-psychology, anti-diagnosis?  This is COMMON in cs.  It's a question she's going to need to ask.  It might be she's getting help IN SPITE of the administration of the school, not because of it.  It might be one or two people have been making things happen but the administration as a whole only pays lip service to disabilities.  I don't know, just saying it would be a reasonable thing to sort out.  At this point, if they aren't HELPING her get the evals, they're standing in the way.  

 

But I'm very b&w.   :D

 

The op can get the SCAN3 for $35 at a university with less than a 2 week wait.  This is not hard to sort out.

 

The CS my son attended was a great school in most ways, but curriculum was cookie cutter. No exceptions, including for kids who on the gifted end who didn't need twenty five worksheets to get a concept. In fact, my son was struggling with telling time, not the concept, but their instruction, I would have loved to have extra sheets on telling time and fewer on something else, but he had to do duplicate work on dozens of things he understood already, and I had to figure out how to help him understand telling time and not listen to what the teacher said that messed him up. Tutoring is to keep them up with peers, so that they can move the machine forward. They are really good at educating the kinds of students they want. There are are a few that do SN, but the vast majority do not really do SN, and it's not an anti-label thing. It's partly about resources. It's also partly about what you can ask a teacher to do who is being paid a non-competitive wage. Many of the teachers who teach in Christian schools had a career in public school first and want to be away from all the paperwork, the behavior problems, etc. They know that they will have a certain caliber of student because most parents don't dump their kid in a school that costs money and then let them fail. They are willing to help struggling students IF they will catch up. If they don't catch up, the kids stay behind and repeat. Anyway, at least in our school, teachers wanted autonomy, and they wanted a certain level of sameness and conformity from the kids. They were very, very tolerant of a variety of personalities and even some odd behavior (significant behavior problems would not work, but they were very good about supporting behavior), but they weren't going to be dealing with kids on different levels. They just were not. There are TEACHERS' kids in that school that transition to public school while their parents continue to teach there because they will get IEPs or 504 plans in school, and the public school's curriculum is not as demanding.

 

I agree with SKL when she said that she thinks the retention is to nudge him out gently without saying so. They are saying, we'll help, but this is the only kind of help we'll offer. It might not be stated directly, but I think that is what they are doing. 

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I hesitate to assume bad motives on the part of the school.  It sounds to me like they either don't know how to help this boy, or they don't have the resources for it.  I think they ought to counsel him out, but I am not going to assume they know that and only care about the money.  :)

 

Another thought - possibly "retaining" him is really their way of gently nudging him out.  I would assume that most parents nowadays wouldn't allow retention under the circumstances described above.  Even when repeating is advisable for a 10yo, people try to do it at another school to save the child the social embarrassment.

 

The reason I tend to give the school the benefit of the doubt on intentions is that they took the boy into the 3rd grade knowing he couldn't read, and they worked with him a lot over the year.  It sounds reasonable up to the point where they said he couldn't advance to 4th.

 

Yeah, I don't know that it's purposeful, which is why I thought immoral was too strong a word, but you can totally be irresponsible and think you're doing the right thing, or, more likely in this case, just being unwilling to think outside a narrow set of options.

 

I feel funny badmouthing independent schools. I think private schools can change lives in great ways. A kid I taught all through middle school recently, belatedly after some struggles graduated from college. He sounds like he's doing great and he had such sweet things to post on FB about our school and several of us as teachers. And I was like, this is what private schools can be to kids, years later. But the truth is that there are a lot of really mediocre private schools out there and, sadly, it can be even more true of Christian schools because families often are willing to put their trust in them with even less assurances and marks of professionalism.

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ETA: And obviously I need to learn to multi-quote.

 

Keep hitting the multiquote button on each post you wish to reply to (it will turn green) and then when you're ready click "Reply to ___ posts" (blank = number of posts you've selected) and they'll all be quoted. It's extremely handy once you get the hang of it.

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I just want to chime in that this phenomenon is not limited to Christian private schools (or even private schools); we had a very similar experience at a Waldorf methods public charter.  They just don't have a lot of the resources that a public school has; they replace this with a much more specific focus (with which most of the parent population agrees), so they don't need to cater to as wide a range of students as a public school, which is *great* for the kids they *do* cater to.  For kids that don't fit the mold (mine was gifted, which they don't differentiate for at all at that age, among a variety of other things), the school is just about useless.  They were nice to him, and tried what they could do, but to be honest I think they were relieved when we withdrew him.

 

It would have been less frustrating if they hadn't told me before signing up that they *could* differentiate for a gifted kid, and they *could* accommodate a kid with some ADHD-type behaviors (exacerbated by  boredom and frustration), and etc etc.

 

They didn't even have a school counselor!  So when I told the teacher I was concerned about bullying, and she told me bullying was normal and accepted in the Waldorf method at that age, there was no school counselor to send him to for strategies to cope.  They didn't have the ability to differentiate, so when I brought up his complaint about boredom, she said boredom was a normal and accepted part of the Waldorf method, as the mind needed to stay asleep until 3rd grade, or until the body caught up (his handwriting is poor).  It went on and on like this.

 

OP, your son, it sounds like, made more progress with reading this year than the average child (2 years progress in less than a year!)  Please, whatever you do, don't do anything to discount to him the amazing work he's done this year.  If you are going to do a reading intensive over the summer, couch it in terms of, "Wow, I didn't know you could progress so rapidly!  You've obviously been working hard on this.  Let's continue this summer with these various new strategies I've learned (after research, testing, etc.) so we can really put your dedication to good use!"  etc.

 

The main thing (and this was really hard for me with the Waldorf charter) is not to take people in positions of authority, especially those who are true believers, too seriously (beyond what their competence merits).  The Waldorf people were pretty sure their way was the only right way.  They have a good way, it works for some people, but it was not the only right way for my son.  They were wrong about him and what he needed.  It was hard to reject their judgment but, well, it was poor judgment on their part :)

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I guess we disagree. My son struggles academically, and for him, knowing that he can improve and move along as he is able is extremely important to him. If someone came along and said, "In four months, you still won't be ready," he would be incredibly demotivated. My son would rather try and not make it than be told he can't make it anyway.

 

But that isn't what is happening - they aren't suggesting that they tell the boy "you can't improve enough if 4 months."  They are telling the mother they think it's unlikely.  No one needs to say that to the boy.

 

Saying - "you have four months to improve to X level, and if you don't, the thing you really don't want to happen, will" is also much different than saying "you can improve in four months". 

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Here is my experience with the public school for 4th grade:

I have a foster child who came to my house reading and doing math at a middle 2nd grade level.

The teacher's at the local school immediately noticed the delays and executive function issues and began to collect the data points they needed to get her special services.  I worked hard to remediate at home and they worked hard to get her extra help at school.  In February, she got moved to "Tier 3" which allows for a one-on-one teacher to pull her out of her regular classes and offer remediation exactly at her level.  From what I was seeing at home, all delays were about neglect in her real family, not learning disabilities.

They began talking about the possibility of holding her back in February, because by law they have to have presented me the possibility 3 times before she can be held back.

After six months in my home, she has moved from a middle second to an end of third grade level in both reading and math.  Since that is a 1.5 year improvement in the six months she has been in my home and in this school, they are choosing to promote her to 5th grade while keeping the special services in place that will allow her to continue to catch up.

I have no idea what your public school is like, but ours has been amazing.  The teachers have invested and cared about my foster daughter, been responsive to my concerns and observations, and discussed all options for seeing her succeed.

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But that isn't what is happening - they aren't suggesting that they tell the boy "you can't improve enough if 4 months."  They are telling the mother they think it's unlikely.  No one needs to say that to the boy.

 

Saying - "you have four months to improve to X level, and if you don't, the thing you really don't want to happen, will" is also much different than saying "you can improve in four months". 

 

That was my take.  They were saying to the mom - we don't think you're going to be able to bring him far enough in three months that we will change our minds, so we don't want you to tell him that's a possibility, because there's a good chance that even if you both work hard, it won't be enough, and we will raised his hopes for this reward that he had a slim-to-none possibility of getting, which isn't really fair.  That doesn't mean that summer work won't be helpful, or even that there is no possibility it will be enough for him to move on to fourth grade, just that the chances are slim enough that it would be unwise to let him know it's a possibility.

 

That said, as I've posted previously, I think the idea of having a child go through a repeat of the exact same work for an entire year is a very, very poor way of dealing with kids who aren't ready for the work planned for the next year.  

 

I am surprised that, if there really are several kids in this position with similar needs, the school hasn't considered the idea of grouping them into a small class - call it the 4B class or something, and designing a curriculum for them that is strong on the reading support they need to get them ready to move into regular 5th grade a year from now.  If their math is at grade level they can go into 4A for math instruction, and perhaps do "specials" (art, gym, etc.) with 4A as well, which will help them keep up their social contacts.  Of course, this would mean that the school would need to have someone who can custom-design a curriculum, which I've found is something not everyone feels comfortable doing or has the skills to do well. If the school is more of the type that relies on pre-packaged "school in a box" from BJU or ABeka or ACE or whatever, then there may be no one on staff who is up to the task of designing something outside the box.

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If there's any piece of you that is still considering putting him in the same school next year, I would ask the school how they plan to handle the fact that he has already been through their third grade curriculum.  Will there be any variations?  In other words, do they study trees and colonial times one year, and oceans and civil war the next?  Or are the topics in science and history and art and music going to be pretty much the same?  Will the assignments be different?  Or, if they built a model of a Native American wigwam last year and made a poster about Benjamin Franklin, will he be doing the same projects next year?  That's for social studies and history.  How will they handle the  math?  Will he be learning any new material next year?  Or will he be using the same book and doing the same problems as he did this year?

 

He clearly seems to need another year of 3rd-grade-ish READING instruction.  But ideally, it will be reading DIFFERENT books, doing DIFFERENT worksheets and projects about them.  This is even more true of the other subjects, in which he is not behind.  "Repeating" a grade should NOT mean repeating the exact same assignments and experiences.  That would be a significant waste of his time, when he could be learning much, much more from doing DIFFERENT things, even if they are on a similar level (which in this case only needs to be the case for reading).

 

I think it sounds like there is a legitimate concern about "learn to read" in 3rd grade vs. "read to learn" in 4th grade, so I would not put him in a 4th grade classroom without an evaluation of his issues and an IEP that includes a plan for accommodations for his weaknesses and also a plan to challenge his strengths.  He may need accommodations (like being able to listen to novels on audio) well into middle school, so you would be wise to find a setting (public school, home-based something-or-other) where he will have this support for the long term.

 

I do think summer remediation is a wise move.  I do NOT think it will help to muddy the waters with additional chores (unless they include reading!).  He needs to have time to work on the reading - ideally several times throughout each day - think bedtime reading, for example.  And he needs play time in which to process what he's learned.  

 

And, gently, you may want to consider whether you can put aside your own studies for a year or so to focus on his needs.  Now,that may not be possible.  But if it is possible to eliminate other things right now, every minute spent getting him up to speed NOW, rather than letting him get further behind, it will be well worth the investment.

I am guessing most nursing programs are inflexible in taking a year off but one could always ask. Plus would her ex provide enough for her to do this?

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I agree with all the posters who suggested evils and public school. And NO holding back!

 

For comparison:

 

Our ps may hold back and have a child do two K years, but never repeat in later years. When K is repeated, they offer parents option of going to another school in the district.

 

Kids who are poor readers have a variety of interventions available. It could be a push in special Ed teacher who comes to a regular classroom. It could be a limited time pull out for reading intervention, no IEP. It could be an LA resource room that replaces the LA period in the regular classroom. In our school, a substantial portion of the class was in the resource room.

 

We are seeing more kids getting help, so resource rooms have been added at middle and high school level. As more kids are tested and identified, schools realize that many 'problems' can be remediated. It's not about kids being incapable or lazy. It's about teaching to the kid's learning style.

 

Kids can also have modifications and accommodations. What a help! Many kids who thought they were behind do brilliantly when materials are read to them. Stabdarized state tests here (which I hate overall) do have one good feature -- text to voice. It makes a gigantic difference.

 

It sounds as though your ds could benefit from some of these strategies. But your current school does not use them

 

Also, like some other posters, I don't understand what the school means about your son not adjusting to the classroom. If (big if) there is any merit in that statement, then you could look at a ps providing an aide/shared aide. Our schools have lots of classes with aides. They roam around helping everyone a bit, so it is not obvious which students they are assigned to.

 

If it turns out your ds has special needs, he should qualify for services until age 21. You don't want to use those 18-21 years for finishing up high school, when there could be more age appropriate programs. It does not sound as though your ds would need this extent of help. But I mention it because, as pp have said, you need to think about the long term implications of holding back.

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I would consider using online programs in addition to the tutoring suggestions with OG and the like. My son found them enjoyable and they seem more like a game. The ones he found interesting was the phonics on Time4Learning, Click N Read, and others. I see honeschoolbuyersco-op has multiple offerings. Also ElizabethB has a very good free online phonics program based on Webster's Speller.

 

https://www.homeschoolbuyersco-op.org/clicknread/?c=1

 

http://www.thephonicspage.org/Phonics%20Lsns/phonicslsnslinks.html

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I don't have any advice to give but I just have a comment: having come from a public school background how can a school justify holding a kid back who has passing grades? That I just don't understand. Passing grades means they have completed the grade curriculum satisfactorily, right? Because 1st quarter grades and 2nd quarter grades are there to give parents and kids a wake up call that the student isn't on target to pass on to the next level unless they get their grades back up. So if this student was passing and getting good grades, what on earth is their justification for holding him back, whatever their personal feelings are about his ability to suceed in fourth grade? What are grades for, otherwise? This is baffling.

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I think you are looking for a public school response from a private school.  That is just not going to happen.  Public schools can't even hold a child back (at least in my state), they can recommend it but ultimately it is up to the parents and the student.  You need evaluations which you can receive through ps or privately and then you need a new plan of action.

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I would go in with your DH and be firm about not wamting to hold him back. Bring a list of points to go over with the principle. There are a lot of good points on this thread. Hime being a 20 year old graduate, repeating material he doesn't need to repeat, bullying possibility. See if they will give you the option of raising him to a certain level and letting him continue. You can't be wishy washy or they will discredit you. I haven't heard you respond to the public school comments so I will assume it's not where you want him? Maybe look into another private school in the area? You may have to do all the remedial work yourself though since there may not be services avaliable for him. I would definitely get an evaluation.You need to know how to help him and which tacticts are going to work to get him to where he needs to be.

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That was my take.  They were saying to the mom - we don't think you're going to be able to bring him far enough in three months that we will change our minds, so we don't want you to tell him that's a possibility, because there's a good chance that even if you both work hard, it won't be enough, and we will raised his hopes for this reward that he had a slim-to-none possibility of getting, which isn't really fair.  That doesn't mean that summer work won't be helpful, or even that there is no possibility it will be enough for him to move on to fourth grade, just that the chances are slim enough that it would be unwise to let him know it's a possibility.

 

That said, as I've posted previously, I think the idea of having a child go through a repeat of the exact same work for an entire year is a very, very poor way of dealing with kids who aren't ready for the work planned for the next year.  

 

I am surprised that, if there really are several kids in this position with similar needs, the school hasn't considered the idea of grouping them into a small class - call it the 4B class or something, and designing a curriculum for them that is strong on the reading support they need to get them ready to move into regular 5th grade a year from now.  If their math is at grade level they can go into 4A for math instruction, and perhaps do "specials" (art, gym, etc.) with 4A as well, which will help them keep up their social contacts.  Of course, this would mean that the school would need to have someone who can custom-design a curriculum, which I've found is something not everyone feels comfortable doing or has the skills to do well. If the school is more of the type that relies on pre-packaged "school in a box" from BJU or ABeka or ACE or whatever, then there may be no one on staff who is up to the task of designing something outside the box.

 

Yes, I agree with all of this.

 

I did wonder reading teh schools emails, if they maybe have a rather fluid idea of grades, which might account for some of the attitude.  I am not really a grade-designation oriented person myself and in a school setting I think smaller but mized groupings are better.  And in that case, there would be more flexibility around placement depending on just how it was managed.

 

But I think for me there are enough things that make me think next year would be a poor fit that I would look elsewhere.

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To the OP, coming back to this and reading some responses...

 

 

If this were me and mine (and I know it's not), I would do things in this order...

 

1) Get an IEP from the PS.  Talk to the admin, get a feel for what school is actually like there.  Get the ball rolling for any and all services he qualifies for through the district.  Get that door to the PS open, and take a while to consider the pros/cons.

 

2) Make tentative plans to keep him home in the fall.  Find someone who will keep him while you are in school.  Make plans for what materials could be used, what resources you can utilize.  (Teaching Textbooks for math.  Documentaries for history and science. Check out audiobooks WITH the paperback from the library.)  Talk to the children's librarian.  What resources are available for free at the library?   Think through what your daily/weekly routine would look like.

 

*It is better for him to be home or at a neighbor's house during the day "unschooling" and seeing an OG tutor 4-5 times per week if the alternative is that private school back into the 3rd grade.*   (He will likely take leaps in reading level over the next year and be ready to go back into his age-appropriate grade level very soon if sheltered from the discouragement of being held back AND if given excellent tutoring.)

 

If you cannot afford an OG tutor, I highly recommend Dancing Bears Fast Track Reading. In fact, I recommend that anyway.  It's 10min per day and it improves reading fluency rapidly for those kids who are past the first hurdle of blending words.

 

 

3) If at all possible, start putting that tentative HS plan into place this summer.  Summer HSing is how to explain it. No pressure to maintain this in the fall.  No big disruptions if you choose to continue.

 

 

4) Keep both options (HSing and PS) open until the last week that you must decide. At that point, you will have a better picture of what each option looks like and can make a better decision.  Or...at the very least...you will have the confidence that each decision has its drawbacks and you just have to pick the one that everyone can live with.  (Something might change with the private school...but I wouldn't hold my breath.)

 

 

5)  Keep the OG tutoring and/or Dancing Bears Reading up whatever school decision is made.

 

 

:grouphug:  

 

 

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I have only skimmed the replies.

 

My oldest was a struggling reader.  What helped him tremendously was an O-G intensive phonemic awareness summer program done at a school that specialized in learning disabilities.  It was not cheap, but it was 1.5 hour per day, 4 days a week, for 6 or 8 weeks.  The amount of improvement we saw was remarkable.   For reference this was at The Lab School in Washington, DC.  I would call around to schools in your area that specialize in LDs and see if there are any similar programs.  Or start with speech/language therapy places in your area.

 

I am so sorry.  It is so hard to see your child struggle. 

Edited by Pink and Green Mom
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If you do go back and talk to the current school principal etc., in addition to the arguments mentioned above, please come armed with some of the research about the long-term effects of holding back children past grades K/1.  I think the research generally shows that repeating doesn't help and often hurts.

 

It sounds like you went along with what they said in the first meeting.  Well, you didn't have a chance to consider / prepare a response, and you probably felt too intimidated to talk back.  Don't let them hold that against you.  If they do, that's kind of mean IMO.  This isn't the kind of decision you make for your child in the middle of a short meeting.

 

The school taught him to read, that's great; it was probably a good place for him for the 3rd grade year.  But that doesn't mean it's best for him to stay.  I would really just thank them and let them know you are moving on because you aren't retaining your son.  I don't know that I'd even bother meeting with them again, but if you really want him in that school next year, it might be worth giving them another chance to decide to promote.

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OK, so WOW! You guys answered my questions and then some. So I'll tell you what I've done so far. I live in a pretty good school district but its public school and I thought I would NEVER send any of my kids to a public school. I was a homeschool mama to the core. Well, then last year I ended up sending them to the Christian school and though it was very hard, I saw some great things coming out of my kids. My son really blossomed and loved going to class each day. That is why it shocked me when they wanted to hold him back. 

 

Some of you mentioned that they believed the school just didn't want to invest the amount of resources into him next year that they did this year and I 100% agree. I mean they really went above and beyond for my son. They put their all into him and I can't fault them for giving him one year and that's it. What makes me a bit upset is how during my meeting the tutor kept scolding me for not working with him more. Then she scolded me in her email and today I got another email reminding me to work with him. Now, I told her repeatedly throughout the year that I simply didn't have a lot of time to work with him but I would give it my all whenever I could. I was taking night classes and working. It was all I could do just to check homework, get dinner on the table, clean the house and make sure everyone had a lunch for the next day. Since I have been out of school the last two weeks I have been working diligently with him. I just don't think it is necessary for her to scold and remind me. 

 

Anyhow, I was given some amazing advice from all of you and I wrote an official letter and sent it to my local public school requesting an IEP. When I called them they said they don't do them in the summer, but with your advice, I wrote in the letter the laws about the request being processed and evaluation completed within 60 days. I was nice about it, but clear. 

 

Then I researched all the schools in my district to see which ones had the best results and highest scores on some of the sites like greatschools.com. Then I asked friends who have had experience with these schools. Finally, I found a form on my district site that says you can request an Intradistrict Transfer for whatever reason. I am not very happy with the school that we are assigned to but just a 2 miles down the road in the opposite direction is the best elementary school in the district. So I mailed off that form today. 

 

Now I am going to have to wait to hear from them about the transfer and I will call and check in with the IEP on Monday to make sure they got my request in the mail. 

 

I am excited that my son will not only get the help he needs and will have a lot more opportunities for extra curricular activities that the Christian school did not offer. I am praying it will all work out all right. 

 

I am going to continue with the FastForward program throughout the summer. Have plenty of reading time daily working on building up his level a few points each week. I will also make sure he gets in a little math facts practice. 

 

One other thing is I told all my kids no computer except for educational purposes for now. I want them outside as much as possible in the fresh air running around, working on their snap circuits, legos, bring creative. Honestly they didn't even complain. 

 

So that is my plan as of right now. You guys are incredible. Truly! 

 

 

Edited to add: Homeschooling him is not completely off the table. It would just have to be a joint effort between myself and a few people. I would definitely look to find some sort tutor if this happens.

 

But let me be frank... I am living on next to nothing at this point. My ex-husband barely pays his child support and I only work part-time because it is all I can handle while I am in school. I pay the bills but barely. I am not complaining. God always provides and I believe He could easily provide us with a tutor so if that is the road I need to take... Then that is what He will provide for.

 

Honestly, I didn't think private Christian school was possible but due to scholarships I was able to send two of my kids there for $100 a month for a $10,000 bill. That is a miracle if you ask me. 

Edited by Michelle My Bell
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Michelle, those are good moves!!!!  Good Mama!!!!!  Now just a little tip on the schools.  Find out which of them actually have OG certified reading specialists.  You would not BELIEVE how often a school will have intervention specialists and reading specialists who have NO training in OG.  :(  So call, ask, see.  That's definitely what you want.  I agree if you can get in a school with an OG tutor on staff and get services, that could be worth a TON.  

 

If you apply for a disability scholarship, you can take that scholarship and use it to place him into a different school.  It will give you some options.  So it really might just be ps for a year, kwim?  Do your Bible time in the mornings or evenings, whatever you can make happen.  It will be ok.

 

Well good job doing all that!  That's getting it real and getting it done!!   :hurray:   :hurray:

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A second retention is not a small thing, and it's not a decision to be made based on a student appearing "overwhelmed" or lacking "maturity". I feel even more concerned that they are holding him back in spite of good grades and the considerable progress he made this year. And I'm wondering why they have several 3rd graders that are being held back. That's very unusual for a private school.

Is it possible that this school uses this as a strategy to eliminate certain students?

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Michelle, those are good moves!!!!  Good Mama!!!!!  Now just a little tip on the schools.  Find out which of them actually have OG certified reading specialists.  You would not BELIEVE how often a school will have intervention specialists and reading specialists who have NO training in OG.   :(  So call, ask, see.  That's definitely what you want.  I agree if you can get in a school with an OG tutor on staff and get services, that could be worth a TON.  

 

If you apply for a disability scholarship, you can take that scholarship and use it to place him into a different school.  It will give you some options.  So it really might just be ps for a year, kwim?  Do your Bible time in the mornings or evenings, whatever you can make happen.  It will be ok.

 

Well good job doing all that!  That's getting it real and getting it done!!   :hurray:   :hurray:

 

Elizabeth, 

 

I just want to say, thank you for your messages to me. Just finding out about that scholarship here in our state is amazing and I will most certainly be working towards getting that. When all this was going on, I knew going back to my roots, my homeschooling mamas, I would get the answers I needed. Thank you sincerely! 

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Adding:  I'll be really fascinated to hear, if you want to share, what the ps says.  Personally, I'd push them to get him on grade level.  I think he should be given interventions and gotten onto grade level.  And push them for Extended School Year.  They have that to offer.  

 

To me, I'd want that transition to be a COMPLETE transition, and I think getting his morale back up by getting him in a grade level that matches his soul would be good.  They can work around the reading and writing.  Does he have tech?  Will they give him tech or do you need to get it?  I know money is tight, but tech is where it's at.  Mac, mac, mac.  (Easy for me to say.)

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We actually are all about our Apple products. I won a Mac laptop right before I started college. (See... God :) ) and my daughter has an iPad that she got for Christmas but I haven't messed around with it for reading. I need to learn more about what it offers and start him using it. 

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