Fruit of the month club? For older couple who don't eat much

[marbel]

My husband and I are going through our periodic "what are we going to get [his] mother for her birthday?" problem.

 

She really is impossible.  We have a few things we rotate through for the 3 gift occasions each year:  scarf, note cards, hand cream and the like, apron, kitchen linens, earrings/bracelet.  We just feel like we've done all these things too recently and need to find a way to branch out, but can't seem to.  She doesn't like to eat, doesn't care about tea or coffee (she has boxes of tea that are 10 years old, I think), considers cookbooks an insult, and has been very clear that we are not to buy her clothes.   She does not read except for one magazine but she has been getting it forever.  She does not like gift cards and anyway they  live in a town where there is no place to buy a gift card for.

 

Anyway, though she does not like to eat, she does have to eat, and she likes fruit; so does my FIL but he mostly sticks to bananas.  I looked at Harry and David's "light" fruit of the month delivery but I can't tell how much fruit is sent.  Maybe in my frustration I'm not looking deep enough to find it.   The picture shows 4 mangoes for one month, 5 strawberries for another month, but I don't know that that's the actual amount .  It is kind of costly ($70 for 3 months) but of course it is costly to ship fresh fruit.

 

Can anyone recommend a fruit of the month delivery with good quality but not too much fruit for a couple of very light eaters? 

 

Also a PSA:  as you age, be sure to give your kids ideas of things they can buy you.  My mom loved to get a stack of thrift store paperbacks.  And chocolate.  And knee-highs - you know, the nylons that are knee socks?  :-)

 

I'm already telling my kids that if I ever gets to the point that I don't want books, cookbooks, chocolate, coffee, tea, warm socks (not knee-highs!), to be direct and tell me I'm impossible to buy for.  I hope I clue in first and tell my kids to stop buying me things if I reach that point.

 

Thanks for reading my vent and extra thanks to anyone who has a recommendation for me.

Edited May 13, 2016 by marbel

[TechWife]

Call or email the company to ask them. They will know the quantities, Who knows, they may also be willing to put together something with smaller quantities if you ask them, it never hurts to try.

[JFSinIL]

Shutterfly can be your friend. I have used it to make my folks (they are divorced)  photobooks of grandkids, of us siblings, of various family members (since I am into genealogy I have a lot of old photos from both sides of the family).  I made my dad a photobook using notes he had written about his time in the Korean War (he was based in Japan as Air Force ground crew, so saw no action), and books on his folks etc.  My mom has books now (and I include text describing the photos and filling in family history) on both her parents, and one on her beloved cousins.

 

I have also made photo collage throw pillows and blankets and coffee mugs. 

 

You can't go wrong with photos.

Edited May 13, 2016 by JFSinIL

[Annie G]

 

 

 

I'm just going to leave this here....this is 100% my inlaws.

Edited May 13, 2016 by Annie G

[marbel]

 

I'm just going to leave this here....this is 100% my inlaws.

 

I am dying here.    I can see my inlaws; just swap out the accents.

 

Yeah, no fruit.  Not even the small size. 

 

Shutterly is a great idea; we are out of time for this birthday but will do for a Christmas gift for both of them.  That will be perfect! 

 

 

[school17777]

What about a hanging basket of flowers or a pot of nice flowers for their porch or front door?

[school17777]

Or, new kitchen towels and dish rags?

[Ewe Mama]

Oh my goodness! I am laughing so hard over that video! My in-laws x100!

[marbel]

Or, new kitchen towels and dish rags?

 

That was her Christmas gift.   It's too soon to do that again.  :-)

 

I'm going to the garden store tomorrow to see if there is something there.  I have to ship it so I can't do a pot already filled with flowers/plants.  But maybe an empty one.  :-)

Edited May 13, 2016 by marbel

[Sherry in OH]

Flowers or a potted plant.  Harry and David or FTD ship.  You could also contact a florist in her area to see what that shop could provide.

[Kassia]

My in-laws LOVE the fruit of the month club.  We bought our subscription through Golden State Fruit and chose the DeLite package.  There are usually coupons online that you can find to drop the price and I think we also went through ebates.  

 

http://www.agiftinside.com/monthly-clubs

 

ETA:  They have great customer service, too.  

 

Erica 

Edited May 13, 2016 by ebh87

[plansrme]

I gave the small FOTM to my grandmother once, and she liked it. She shared with whomever came by to visit, but it would not have been overwhelming even if she did not have regular visitors. She liked fruit generally, though. Definitely not a bananas-only type.

[Spryte]

Have you ever asked her what she'd like?

[marbel]

Just a little more information.... my MIL is a stereotypical super-polite Southern lady with a passive-aggressive streak.  So, she claims to like "anything" but in reality she does not, and she is good at letting us know that she really doesn't want "anything."  She has weird food issues - I think she is scared of getting fat; she makes a lot of nasty comments about fat people - and does not find pleasure in eating at all.  She has been clear that we should not buy clothing for her.  She is trying to downsize so does not not want stuff for the house.  She has no hobbies.  There are only so many consumable/short life items.  We try to rotate through "safe" things but we need to branch out. 

 

I'd just let my husband deal with it but it is something we try to do together.  I feel for him because he should have a better idea, it being his mother, but he just does not.  It gets harder every year. 

 

I appreciate the information on the FotMCs and other ideas.  I don't mean to be difficult, but after 20 years it's getting tiresome.  :-)

 

[Spryte]

Wait, we have the same MIL? How did that happen?

 

I think you're into something good with the fruit of the month club, and I can see why asking her what she wants won't work.

[zoobie]

That was her Christmas gift. It's too soon to do that again. :-)

 

I'm going to the garden store tomorrow to see if there is something there. I have to ship it so I can't do a pot already filled with flowers/plants. But maybe an empty one. :-)

A local-to-her florist or garden shop would deliver hanging plants.

[Carol in Cal.]

Is she the kind of person who would love to have you give to a charity in her honor?

 

Or how about an experience, like tickets to a play and a cab gift certificate?

 

Or how about a house plant?  Florists deliver those, as well as bouquets, you know.  

 

Or how about one of those ceramic holders for the longer, decorative paper napkin/towelettes, to put in her entry way or even in her bathroom for guest towels?  Then you can give her paper guest towels for various seasons.  (Consumables are good!)

 

What about a little crate of unusual spices/herbs from Penzey's?

 

Or do you have an unusual consumable that is local to you?  We live in an area that is famous for garlic, among other consumables, and the year we gave the inlaws a garlic keeper and a garlic braid they really liked our gift.

[marbel]

Is she the kind of person who would love to have you give to a charity in her honor?

 

Or how about an experience, like tickets to a play and a cab gift certificate?

 

Or how about a house plant?  Florists deliver those, as well as bouquets, you know.  

 

Or how about one of those ceramic holders for the longer, decorative paper napkin/towelettes, to put in her entry way or even in her bathroom for guest towels?  Then you can give her paper guest towels for various seasons.  (Consumables are good!)

 

What about a little crate of unusual spices/herbs from Penzey's?

 

Or do you have an unusual consumable that is local to you?  We live in an area that is famous for garlic, among other consumables, and the year we gave the inlaws a garlic keeper and a garlic braid they really liked our gift.

 

Ahh... those are nice ideas. But not for her.

 

Charity?  No, that is not a gift in her mind.   Theater or other experience?   She doesn't like things like that; also they live out in the middle of nowhere so there's no such places.   Hates house plants.  Complains about her small house and how she can't have one.more.thing. in it, so no cute house things. She hates food and cooking, so no spices, no regional foods.  

 

Seriously, I am not trying to be difficult and dismissive of ideas.  They are good ideas for normal people.

 

She is a pretty nice lady, mostly.  But yeah she can be difficult with gifts.  But she's made it clear she likes to receive gifts.  I don't think she is trying to be mean or nasty.  I think she just doesn't get it that she has left us no options.  She probably doesn't notice how she is, and their family culture does not allow for direct communication.  In my family, I could say "Yo, Mom, we'd like to get you a gift but dang you are hard to buy for!  What kind of things do you like these days?"  But not her. 

 

[Spryte]

Does she have a yard? What about bulbs? And you could help plant them.

 

Your posts resonate. I really think we have the same MIL.

[barnwife]

I might be a terrible person, but I'd just go with a card.

I grew up in a "must give gifts for all occasions" family. So Mom got gifts for Christmas, Mother's Day, her birthday, Valentine's day. It stressed me out as a kid and still does.

Heck, it's harder now that I can't give her stuff I made in school. 

I will be forever grateful that I married a man who is "I give gifts when I see something the other person will like, whether or not there is a special day for it."

It is so freeing not to feel obliged to give gifts. And so I've done the same with my parents. They get cards for special days. There may or may not be a gift. I am quite sure that my parents aren't thrilled by this. But demanding a gift would be in bad form, so they don't saw anything.

That's my long way of saying that I'd go with a nice card and heartfelt message.

[JFSinIL]

 

 

 

 

 

I'm just going to leave this here....this is 100% my inlaws.

 

Is there a way to post just the link w/o the video showing up here on the board, since it might be against the copyright restrictions? Better safe than sorry.

[Kassia]

My in-laws are difficult to buy for.  We did the fruit of the month club for two years and they liked that.  We got them a Roomba one year and they loved that.  We've bought them Netflix subscriptions and season passes to a local theater, too.  Now we just buy them gift cards to local restaurants since they hate to cook and can't drive far.  

 

Erica

[redsquirrel]

Why don't you just send a nice bouquet of flowers? She can look at it for a little while and then toss it. Done and done. It won't clutter up the house and she doesn't have to eat it or wear it.

 

I sometimes get my mom DVDs of tv shows she liked, like Carol Burnett or All in the Family.  We have got my ILs tickets to a play, and gift certificate to a local restaurant.  And I know my mom would not turn up her nose at a bottle of wine.

 

Oh, yes movie passes are always appreciated. They seem to never expire and even if you don't go often, every now and again there is a movie you want to see

[matrips]

Well from watching my mom and dad, and now seeing it happen to me, I would consider shower type gifts. You know, the household stuff you register for when you get married and then hold onto forever, because you don't 'need' new stuff but the old stuff is in tatters or has disappeared. Sheets, towels, bath mats/rugs, entry rugs, glasses, dishes, flatware, knives....

[bensonduck]

Puzzle books? A coffee table book on a topic she likes? Gift certificate to a farm/nursery so she can select her own plants? And a ride there when you visit?

 

Oddly enough, a bagel slicer was a huge hit for my DH's 94 year old grandfather this year. It was becoming difficult for him to handle the knife to cut bagels and English muffins. He was thrilled with the slicer and uses it every day.

[marbel]

Thanks for all the suggestions.  I ended up finding something that might be OK, though it is not a consumable item.  It's a pretty  bottle-shaped tealight holder, similar to this one (amazon link), along with some citronella tealights.  She can hang it off the upper railing of her balcony.   

 

It really had to be something I could ship because we can only travel to see them about once a year, if that.  So, no buying plants and then go helping her plant them.  :-)   Kitchen things, other than linens, are so unwelcome.   I think she just hates anything to do with food prep. 

 

Next git occasion will be Christmas, and we're going with the Shutterfly book.  Then we can start the rotation over for Mother's Day.   Or maybe she'll finally say something like "I know I'm hard to buy for - how about a new photo for my birthday every year?" 

 

:-)

Edited May 14, 2016 by marbel

[Callie]

My in-laws have sent H&D fruit baskets to us every year for a long time.  The fruit is horrible.  Under ripe and then rotten overnight.  I'd not send it to a picky person she won't be satisfied and it is a waste of your money.  And i should add that it is a pitiful small amount of fruit for an extremely high price (yes I looked on the website to see).  I don't know or have a good enough relationship with them to say anything so we just thank them yearly and feed the fruit to the chickens or compost.

[Anne]

I know this won't work for your in-laws, 0P, but for those who are interested in a fruit of the month club: I have been buying grapefruit from my dad from Pitman and Davis for many years. The fruit is always excellent, and the customer service has been terrific. My dad absolutely loves this gift! He is an impossible person to buy gifts for because he either doesn't want it or buys it himself....

 

Anne

[Kalmia]

Perhaps a magazine that is very similar to the one she already receives? So if she gets Southern Living, try a year of Southern Cottage.