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BlsdMama

Are you more or less motivated with DH around?

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The hubby has been gone all weekend camping.  I am not motivated.  Not even a little.  Normally I'm a very active person... Clean house, laundry going, outside work, human care.

 

The kids are on their second movie.

I'm ordering pizza.  We did pick up the house today but really?  Not great.

No laundry done and well, I'm very unmotivated to move.

 

 

This happened the last time he went fishing for a weekend.  I simply vegged.  I told him when he came back he'd better never die because, apparently, I am lazy when he's not around.

 

But I hear from friends that they actually sit and do nothing when their husbands are home or are going to be home and get a lot done when they are away. I don't understand. :D

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It really depends for me.  Dh has traveled a LOT in our marriage, so his absence isn't a huge deal around here.  I do tend to get a few projects done when he's gone that I'd rather not have input on...lol!  (things like mulching flower beds, or painting rooms) 

 

My cooking and cleaning habits get kind of lazy sometimes when he leaves.  It is like a little mini vacation or something, in my mind.

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Usually more motivated when he's not around.  DH tends to relax/procrastinate on weekends he's not traveling, so rather than get stressed ("I have all these things to do, and you're not helping!") I take the weekend to also relax.  Weekends he's traveling (or fishing  :coolgleamA: ), I'm usually a busy bunny.  Right now I'm a very pregnant bunny, so I've been unmotivated, but supposedly that condition won't last forever.

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Depends on the weather.  If it's sunny and I can open the windows, I'm likely to clean the whole house top to bottom, or conquer some other project. 

 

If it's grey and rainy, I'm liable to veg out and read.

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I get more done when he is gone.  He will sit and rest (or do nothing), and I end up sitting with him.

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Dh hates breakfast for dinner, so if Daddy is away we have pancakes for dinner.  We also tend towards more easy, fun "kid" dinners when he is out of town.  But, he is gone so frequently that life goes on normally when he is out of town. 

When kids were younger, it was harder and I felt like the schedule was harder to maintain.  But, with older kids the routine seems to be about the same (except the simpler dinners).

 

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Dh, when he's home, is either riding his bicycle, or watching anime or some other thing on TV.  I'm not much into anime, but I'm a bit ADHD, so I can't really concentrate when the TV is on.  So, I sit here and nothing gets done.  I get much more done when dh is gone.

 

 

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It depends. If he is home on the weekend, I generally don't do too much because he works a lot and we are enjoying him home. And in general, during the week when he is gone, I am pretty productive. That being said, the rare occasion that he goes fishing or hunting - all bets are off and I will totally veg. (After cleaning the house, of course!)

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On a regular weekday?  I'm much more productive when he's gone to work.

 

But if he were off having fun it would just depend.  If I had something I really wanted to get done and was motivated to do it then I'd sure get it done.  But if I wanted to veg out I wouldn't feel the least bit guilty about it.  Because if he's off having fun then I figure I'm entitled to have a little R&R, too.

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I cook less when he is away but am generally a lot more productive.

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On a regular weekday?  I'm much more productive when he's gone to work.

 

But if he were off having fun it would just depend.  If I had something I really wanted to get done and was motivated to do it then I'd sure get it done.  But if I wanted to veg out I wouldn't feel the least bit guilty about it.  Because if he's off having fun then I figure I'm entitled to have a little R&R, too.

 

 

We pick up every night before he comes home - I figure it's nice to walk into a picked up house, dinner started, some semblance of something happening. :)

But I had such big plans this weekend - thought about painting, thought about photos, thought about organizing.  Did none of it.  Meh.

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I got a lot more done when he is gone. I also don't stress over meals as much. Kids are happy with pretty much whatever.

 

When he is home, on his day off, or maybe some vaca time, I get nothing done!

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dh works from home.  I get more done on days he's gone, and I know how long he's going to be gone.  

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More when he's gone. I can put my earbuds in and listen to podcasts and tackle my projects. When he's here I get lazy if he's reading, watching tv or surfing the web.  I also feel like when he's here I want to talk to him so I'm not as busy doing things. 

 

So when he's here I take lots of breaks with short spurts of chores done throughout the day. When he's gone it's the opposite- I work through most of the day and only take breaks occasionally. 

 

When we do projects together we both get more done.  

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Much more motivated when he's around. He's fun. We have fun doing things together, which leads to more things getting done.

 

It's that old two balloons going up analogy. :) As opposed to one balloon going up with one lead weight dragging them both down. We tend to be the two balloons going up, circling each other in the air.

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I get sooooo much more done when he's gone. I don't like witnesses when I'm in high cleaning gear. I look like a crazy person zipping around. I like to clean alone. Also, he's a distraction. I like to hang out with him and that's not conducive to work. The tricky thing is that he works from home, so I tend to do things while he's out or on a conference call. At my house Daddy being home meant the work day was over for so many years that's it's hard to be physically productive now that he's around all the time.

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I get less done because that means I'm 100% chasing small ones. They really really need to grow out of the needing constant supervision phase before I crack.

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Dh's presence or absence generally has no bearing on my flighty moods regarding being a sloth versus being an energizer bunny. The exception would be if we need to discuss something, which takes time and means I will not always be able to do other activities. He never leaves for a weekend so I don't know what that would be like. I work in bursts followed by periods of inactivity no matter who is here or not.

Edited by texasmama
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I get sooooo much more done when he's gone. I don't like witnesses when I'm in high cleaning gear. I look like a crazy person zipping around. I like to clean alone.

This is me. My frenetic cleaning scares him I think. During the summer months, I schedule lots of time for the kids to be at friend's houses and then I launch into high gear. I have areas of the house that are mini disasters that I'll blaze through this summer and set to rights (basement, attic.). But I can only do it if there are no distractions and no one to scare. I figure I'd better never live alone because I'd get all my projects done in a month and then what would I do? I need my family around to keep me good and lazy. :)

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I get somewhat less done when he's home, mainly because I don't want to clean around him in our bedroom/office/man cave (and no, it's not one of those 400 sq. ft. master suite deals).

We are usually done doing productive-looking things by lunch-time anyway, which is the earliest he's going to get home if he goes at all (very, very random schedule, especially over the course of a year).  My general MO is to assume he'll be working 6 10-hour days and plan and act accordingly.  If he ends up not going to work, we just do things more quietly and he might do some random favors.  The kids are definitely more well behaved when he's home. 

I do think if DH went away for a weekend, I'd be less picky about meals.  He's definitely a fresh ingredients person!  I think frozen is close enough.   ;)  But he's only been gone one night in almost 11 years.

 

ETA: I used to get nothing done when he was home, but we went through so much unemployment that I had to get over that.  

Edited by CES2005

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I get less done because that means I'm 100% chasing small ones. They really really need to grow out of the needing constant supervision phase before I crack.

 

:grouphug:

 

Chasing small ones is 100% a full day's work.  Good job!   :hurray:

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I didn't realize how much I did when he was gone until he started working from home. Now I feel like a slug and have to figure out how to manage.

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Less. I have a kid who gets anxious and weepy when Dh is out of town, so that kind of drains the energy in the house. 

 

If Dh and that particular kid are out of town, I am superwoman. 

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This thread is coming at a great time...last day of Dh being gone on a business trip for 2 1/2 weeks! I get so much less done when he's not home. The kids don't care what we eat for dinner and whether it's been a couple days since I last mopped. I use his trips as a break from cooking elaborate meals or frantically cleaning in the afternoons. I honestly don't have as much time to clean anyway since I'm busy doing all the chores he usually handles like the trash, lawn, dishes after supper, litter box, mail pick-up (a few streets away), dog walks in the morning and evening, etc. 

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Dh was gone for 5 days and I watched 3 seasons of Gilmore Girls. So, definitely on the veg end of the spectrum.

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It depends on what needs to be accomplished. I will usually do major cleaning when he is away. He is impossible to declutter with. Hoarders, buried alive is in his future if I go first. I also like to enjoy the peace and quiet and will veg with a good book or binge watch TV.

 

And if he and the kids are gone, total me vacation of pajama day, junk food, relaxation.

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It kind of depends on how much he's been working.  When he's traveling or away from home or working 80+ hours a week in the office that's an hour's drive from here, when he's home, awake, and not eating, we do nothing that's not fun.  So definitely more productive when he's at work.  Plus, I feel guilty for not making progress on some project every day when he's working so hard.

 

When he's working from home or not working more than 50 hours awake, I get more done when he's not here, because he's distracting.

 

When he travels, especially overseas, I turn into a lump and watch Netflix for days.  Though come to think of it I'm usually sick when he's traveling, so one thing might not have anything to do with the other.

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DH travels constantly.  If I were to just shut down every time he left I'd have vines growing on me.   :lol:

 

But hey, you have a LOT on your plate.  Nothing wrong with shutting down once in a while.  Maybe it is telling your brain, hey, he's taking a break from the normal routine, so you should, too.  :)

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When DH is gone for the weekend, I tend to take a veggie-vacation. DH cooks so when he isn't here we eat junk like pizza, watch movies and stay up late.

 

He usually goes camping at least one weekend a month so I get my mini-vaca regularly.

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