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I'm so heartbroken, and angry


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Forgot to mention a few things.

 

One, stoopid pantz made the kids all return their cell phones to my sister, and he went out and got them his own cell phones for them. Why? Cuz he's a controlling bastard.

 

Two, already he's got the 13yo on Zoloft because he can't handle her moods. Ya think??? Maybe, just maybe, she's pissed off at him and she's showing it. Sis never had trouble with 13yo's moods.

 

Three, the girlfriend isn't happy that the kids spend all their time in their rooms with the doors shut. She actually approached the 13yo and said, "Your dad thinks you hate him." To which the 13yo rolled her eyes and didn't say or do anything.

 

Sis says the kids are dirty and stink. Apparently stoopid pantz and the girlfriend have five large indoor dogs and, according to the kids, the house is very dirty. No wonder they never come out of their room.

 

Ugh. There's so much more. It's just so bad.

Edited by Kinsa
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Well, it's done. I talked directly with my sister.  It's not all good, but it's not all bad either. Bottom line:  The judge split the girls.  My sister has custody of the 13yo.  The 16yo sta

While I understand your point, I am really saddened for Kinsa that you are continuing in this vein when she and her family are suffering and her thread is about how emotionally devastated she is. I do

It's showtime, folks.   Custody trial is tomorrow, Thursday, November 9th, at 1:00 PM eastern time zone.   There has been a ****LOT**** of... "stuff"... happen that I haven't shared, including stu

That is seriously where I pack up my kids and go on the run. I think you're being kind by using the word "dufus" to describe this guy.

It is really bad of me, but for the first time in my life I'm praying the the Lord will take someone's (his) life. Bad, right???

 

Eta: Yes, very bad, I know. I'm ashamed to admit it, but there it is.

Edited by Kinsa
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It is really bad of me, but for the first time in my life I'm praying the the Lord will take someone's (his) life. Bad, right???

 

Eta: Yes, very bad, I know. I'm ashamed to admit it, but there it is.

And I used to think poorly of tarring and feathering, but it might have its moments...

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It is really bad of me, but for the first time in my life I'm praying the the Lord will take someone's (his) life. Bad, right???

 

Eta: Yes, very bad, I know. I'm ashamed to admit it, but there it is.

You are in good company. I will cry out to the Lord with you.

 

https://www.biblegateway.com/resources/asbury-bible-commentary/Imprecatory-Psalms

Edited by Seasider
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Kids don't always choose the better parent--sometimes they'll ask for ice cream when they need carrots--but it's still worth asking.

I don't know. Sometimes it is good to hear from the child depending on age, maturity, family dynamic. Often it's horrid. It puts the child in a wretched position that can cause guilt for some time and cause strain on their relationship with a parent. It can also result in parents being nervous about parenting because they always have their approval rating in the back of their minds.

Edited by Danestress
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 I agree that the kids need to be documenting the filth. It should be a main issue. Lots of pictures should be emailed to their mom's lawyer ASAP. That is the sort of thing a judge might care about. Also, lots of this stuff should be being documented for the lawyer regarding taking away the kids electronics pertaining to school. The mom needs a good specialist to take the kids to as a professional witness. That's probably why the Dad now wants 48 hours notice. He knows that they are going back to court and he wants to keep them from seeing someone who will testify against him.

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Maybe the kids can text pictures of their filthy new digs to a GAL.

You know, on reflection, this is a very bad idea.

 

Undoubtedly their dad has put their phones on parental control plans, which means that he will be able to see and keep all of their texts as well as know who they call when.

 

They need throwaway cameras or something.

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It is really bad of me, but for the first time in my life I'm praying the the Lord will take someone's (his) life. Bad, right???

 

Eta: Yes, very bad, I know. I'm ashamed to admit it, but there it is.

Well, way back when you started the thread, I sort of thought it would be appropriate for Tony Soprano to pay xdh a visit.

 

Putting a child on medication? When it might not be needed? I have no words.

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  • 3 weeks later...
  • 4 months later...

Just bringing this up to date, for anyone who remembers this thread...

 

I can't divulge a lot of details, but I can report that my sister has filed CRIMINAL charges against her ex-husband (arraignment is in January, which is too long from now if you ask me) for deliberately going against the last custody court order in multiple ways, the ex's bulldog lawyer has dropped him because he's such a dumb-ass that she can't work with him (bringing the count up to at least his seventh lawyer), and as of last week my sister has filed for custody of the kids again.  The kids are *VERY* unhappy there and really want to go back home. 

 

Oh golly, there's so much I wish I could divulge.  The kids are in a REALLY bad place right now mentally/emotionally, and thank the Lord that they can see my sister occasionally.  I honestly think it's the only thing that is keeping them from completely breaking down... and they are really, really close to breaking down.

 

Edited by Kinsa
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Kinsa, I really hope this works for you. Right now I am avoiding calling a friend who has a problem similar to your sister's in that, an asshat judge made a horrible decision that is really hurting her kids. In my df's case her ex's new wife is telling her dd,  "your mom's mom is crazy, your mom is crazy, you are crazy." The step mom is hiding things and telling my dh's dd that she "lost" them to make her feel more crazy. To make matters worse, the ex in my friend's case will probably hurt my friend if he doesn't get what he wants. He was abusive when they were married but she didn't file charges because he would have lost his license to practice medicine. None of the kid's counselors want to testify to the truth because they are afraid someone will get "hurt" if the dad gets shown up for who he really is in court. Because they all know the judge will still send the kids to him unsupervised, so they can't tell the truth. It is maddening to say the least. I suspect this is very common with NPD. 

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  • 2 weeks later...

Ugh.  From bad to worse.

 

Last evening was supposed to be my sister's night for visitation.  She went to the house to pick them up, and was told to leave, that he wouldn't let the kids go with her.  She asked to physically see the kids to make sure they were okay, and he denied her access.  So she went back to her car and called the police for a welfare check of the kids.  The police came, and it was a very ugly scene.  The kids wanted to go with my sister, asked him why they couldn't go with her, and were crying, etc.  At one point, the 16yo boy walked out of the house.  Finally, she was allowed to take the kids, after the police were there for 45 minutes talking to stupid-butt.

 

She thinks he's going to file a trespassing charge against her today, but so be it.  She's going to see her lawyer on Monday.

 

The worst part of this is that he has no concern for what he's doing to the kids.  None whatsoever.  It's all about HIM.  And yes, the kids have all asked to go back to living with my sister.  They are not happy being there.  They actually hate it there.

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What the hell is wrong with that guy? You must feel so helpless.

 

Edited to add: I'd be getting a copy of that police report to take the lawyer. I hope the lawyer is taking your sister's case seriously and doing his/her best to right this wrong.

Edited by Reluctant Homeschooler
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