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Kinsa

I'm so heartbroken, and angry

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It is terrifying that stuff like this can go on for *years*.  

I hope everyone with the power to do something sees through the jerk's manipulation.

Many (hugs)

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On 4/22/2016 at 10:41 AM, craftymama said:

 

So what happens next semester when there are worse grades in more subjects?

 

I had not seen this thread from years ago. I am so very sorry. What an absolutely insane situation--full custody is incredibly hard to get in my state and things like this are why. It's so extreme. I hope your sister's family is reunited.

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15 hours ago, happi duck said:

It is terrifying that stuff like this can go on for *years*.  

I hope everyone with the power to do something sees through the jerk's manipulation.

Many (hugs)

 

This.  It is just so distressing that the legal system allows this nonsense to go on and disrupt children's lives. There has to be a better way of speeding things up.  

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Oh man. I sure hope the judge has a brain, heart and the inclination to use them. (((hugs)))

The mind boggles when some people can get away with actual crimes, and other people can't even get away with good behaviour.

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On it.

Two of my (then middle-aged) friends have gone through law school and said that family court is the most depressing thing they have ever seen.  :0(

 

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Been praying.  Was hoping there was a positive update.  Will continue prayers. 

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Your sister has my prayers that she will get full custody and he will be out of the picture.

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No, I’m totally haunting it too and hoping for some good news after so much pain.  The injustice of this situation just makes me sick for the children and your sister, Karen :(

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praying and checking this thread, hoping for justice finally for your sister and her kids. 

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Well, it's done.

I talked directly with my sister.  It's not all good, but it's not all bad either.

Bottom line:  The judge split the girls.  My sister has custody of the 13yo.  The 16yo stays with her dad.

I don't understand exactly what happened, but here's what I do know.  They never went into the court room.  Everything was done through meetings and behind closed doors.  The lawyers met together, the judge met with the kids, etc.  So the MOUNTAIN of evidence my sister had against him never got to be shown. The criminal "contempt of court" charges she had against him (when he directly violated the court order of not changing the kids' schools, and the alienation charges) just - POOF - disappeared.  (And yet AGAIN he got away with his shenanigans.  Over and over again he does whatever the heck he wants, and he gets away with it.  Just ONCE I would love to see him held accountable.  Just once.)  Child support basically disappears since he has one child and she has one child.

So... the question I'm sure you're all asking is WHY the girls were split.  It's a story.

My sister would NOT consider subpoena-ing (sp?) the girls without knowing beyond doubt that they would say they wanted to live with her.  It was just too risky otherwise.  A few months ago, she got that assurance from them.  There was never any doubt about the 13yo, but the 16yo was questionable.  (Remember, she's getting all kinds of attention at her dad's.)  But the 16yo said yes, she definitely wanted to live back at her mom's house.  Okay, so my sister submitted the subpoenas.  Lo and behold, the kids' paternal grandmother passed away last month.  Since he is the one to clear her estate, he cleared out her belongings and brought home her car, which has been sitting in his garage for the last month or so.  Yep, you guessed it.  He promised 16yo she could have the car if she stayed with him.  And she fell for it.  So she went into "court" this morning telling the judge that she wanted to stay at her dad's.  So the judge split them up.  My nephew (the 18yo) also testified, adamantly telling the judge that they all needed to be out of that house, and he was *MAD* at his sister after court today.

Regardless, it's done.  It really is a victory, since the 13yo is the one everyone was most worried about.  She has a lot of healing to do, and being the "only child" with my sister will be good for her healing.  And eventually the 16yo will realize what a mistake this was, especially once her older brother leaves for the Navy this summer and her little sister isn't there anymore either.  Time will take care of that.

So there you have it.  My ear is literally sore from all the hours on the phone today, first to my sister, then to spread the news to my husband and my other sisters.  But it is done.

And my sisters and I are going to divert the money we'd been sending to my sister to help keep her afloat to paying her lawyer bill.

I thank you most humbly for following this through the years and for your prayers and concern.  Truly.  I am humbled and truly thankful.

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It's better than nothing, and certainly very good for the 13yo. Hopefully the 16yo comes to her senses soon. And, if not, she'll be a legal adult soon enough.

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2 minutes ago, Sneezyone said:

It's better than nothing, and certainly very good for the 13yo. Hopefully the 16yo comes to her senses soon. And, if not, she'll be a legal adult soon enough.

 

Yes, this is pretty much how we're all viewing it. It's not what my sister was asking for, but at least she got the 13yo out of there.

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2 minutes ago, Sneezyone said:

It's better than nothing, and certainly very good for the 13yo. Hopefully the 16yo comes to her senses soon. And, if not, she'll be a legal adult soon enough.

Yes, that is what I was thinking.  I think Kinsa said earlier that the 16 is sort of the favorite....so maybe they won't be too hard on her...and if they are well, she knows she made the choice.

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Glad to hear your 13yo niece will have a better life now.  Best of luck to all!

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5 minutes ago, Kinsa said:

 

Yes, this is pretty much how we're all viewing it. It's not what my sister was asking for, but at least she got the 13yo out of there.

That is a huge win.  And the sixteen year old, while doing something foolish, is at least close enough to being of age that the ramifications of trading love and safety for a vehicle should be a good life lesson without ruining her forever (I hope).

 

I am really unhappy that the evidence didn’t get brought forward, but God’s justice is perfect even when the world’s attempts at it fail miserably.  He will stand to account for this one day when all will be known.  For now, that has to be enough and I know it’s hard :(

 

The child support change is big big big.  What a relief for your sister!  And I will keep your nieces in my prayers.

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Ok well that’s something.  Given everything you have said, I am rather shocked her lawyer let it go the way it did without bringing evidence forth.  

The 16 yr old still has visitation with your sister right?

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Sounds like a win even though the middle daughter is still there - mostly by her choice. I am very relieved though that the younger daughter will have a chance to live with Mom now. Does he still have any say what happens or is he completely out of the pic on anything concerning the 13yo?

Good luck to your nephew in the navy. It may be an excellent choice for him to move forward. The 16yo will likely see the light one day as well but there is always pain and fear involved in all those things. Once she is 18, she and your sister can always rebuild a different relationship.

PS: I know it feels like he is getting away with manipulative and destructive behavior but it seems like he has lost a relationship with his son based on what you wrote; it remains to be seen if his relationship with the 16yo will be positive beyond getting a car from him and the youngest one will not be exposed to him any longer - if I read your post correctly. Like Arctic Mama said, justice will come eventually, if not in our lifetime.

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Sounds like a victory.  How brave of your nephew to stand up for his sisters so adamantly.  May God keep him safe.

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2 hours ago, happysmileylady said:

Ok well that’s something.  Given everything you have said, I am rather shocked her lawyer let it go the way it did without bringing evidence forth.  

The 16 yr old still has visitation with your sister right?

 

Yes, the 16yo will still spend weekends with my sister, every other weekend.  And on the other weekends, the 13yo will go over there.

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