Ahh, anxiety about my daughter playing with friends.

[MeaganS]

So, I totally sympathize with the free range parent model, and while I admire a lot of it, in my heart I have to fight a lot of helicopter parent fears. Dd5 asked today if she could go play out front with a group of girls that we have often seen out there. My initial instinct was, no! But I powered through it and gave her permission. So my little extrovert is out there right now as I sit here glancing every few minutes out the window to see how it is going.

 

My babies growing up is going to be hard for me.

 

Any tips or safety rules from you been there, done that parents? We live in a seemingly safe, standard American neighborhood, if that makes a difference. I told her she couldn't go in their house, just play outside.

 

Ahh, she's followed the herd to another yard and I can't see her from my window. Just breathe...

[SparklyUnicorn]

You are so normal...

 

:laugh:

 

 

[maize]

 

At that age the rule for my kids was that they could not go into anyone's house without my explicit permission, and they had to stay in sight.

 

Five is too young to take care of herself, free range at this age does need to be limited.

 

Can you pull out bubbles or sidewalk chalk and invite the gang to play in front of your house?

Edited April 21, 2016 by maize

[SparklyUnicorn]

Yes I agree with the not in anyone's house thing.

 

 

[mamiof5]

I'm not comfortable with 5yr olds playing out there by themselves. Not sure what the term "helicopter mom" means, but maybe I'm like that? We live in a relatively safe steer, but cars do speed carelessly... not trusting my 5yr old out there.

[NorthwestMom]

I think you are doing a great job! :hurray: :hurray: :hurray:

 

Does she know how to cross your street? I'd start working on street crossing if not; that skill will be necessary soon if it isn't already. If your neighbors have trampolines, is that ok with you? Does anyone have a pool? Does she know that she can NEVER EVER go in one without your explicit permission? (those big pools that cost a couple of hundred dollars, that you buy at Target and set up in your own yard - those are a risk because you might not know that one has appeared at a neighbor's house, and they tend to be 4 or 5 feet deep. Definitely a drowning risk.)

 

I have 3 free-range kids; my youngest is 11. Nothing worse than scraped knees has ever happened. I hope you have the same good outcome I have had. :)

[Ravin]

At 5, front yards only, and only when they have the sense not to run into the street without looking as a rule, was our rule for DD.

[MyLittleBears]

I'm not comfortable with 5yr olds playing out there by themselves. Not sure what the term "helicopter mom" means, but maybe I'm like that? We live in a relatively safe steer, but cars do speed carelessly... not trusting my 5yr old out there.

 

 

I agree with this. 5yrs old is a bit young for playing out of sight.

[ErinE]

At that age, we were front yard only, line of sight. There was no crossing the street unless I gave permission. The limits were tested and restrictions were put in place if the rules were broken. However, the kids learned quickly to ask permission to move on and usually there were other adults home to monitor the kids as well.

[Spryte]

We live at the end of a cul de sac, in a very free range neighborhood.

 

We work on being the cool house. Lots of out door toys to pull out of the garage, chalk, balls, the basketball hoop, bubbles, whatever it takes. Lemonade stands happen often. They play "yucky soup" with old cooking utensils. Lots of snacks.

 

Our rules, for our kids are: playing in front yards only. No inside or in backyards. They have to stay in sight. The not quite 5 yr old can play with the herd in the cul de sac. With special permission she can play next door, just out of sight, on their play set.

 

12 yr old gets a slightly different set of rules. :)

[SKL]

You'll soon get used to it and feel great about it.  :)

[Bluegoat]

I would set some rules, based on the geography of your neighbourhood, and also you'll probably find that there are some standard rules the other kids have too.  If you can set up similar ones it's convienient because then the kids can enforce each others rules and parents are looking out for the same things.

 

We always went with no going into houses, and if they were in a backyard we wanted them to let us know where - otherwise we couldn't find them.  We encouraged playing in the sidestreet rather than in front of our house as it was less busy and with more kids.

 

Now that the girls are older they are just told a time to come home.  They can generally go into their friends houses if the parents are ok with it and we've let them in the past.

 

It gets much more comfortable the more you do it.  Sometimes there will be an issue and you'll have to remind them or the rules, or modify them - but that is part of learning to play on their own.