FB messaging WWYD

[38carrots]

I messaged a casual friend with a question I need an answer to. It was a long messaged. I was basically asking for a favour, and I did feel a bit uncomfortable about it, but we just need to clarify what if anything she can do for us and what we can do for her in return earlier, rather than later, as we need to plan some things. She's a wonderful person and we've chatted on FB some months ago with no problems.

 

She wasn't online when I messaged but I've seen her online since.

 

There's no checkmark to indicate that she read my messagee.

 

My plan was to wait until I actually see her on-line and follow up with something, but with what? Do I just say that it seems she hasn't seen the message? I've only used FB from my computer, never on mobile. Does it work differently on mobile, in terms of seeing messages?

 

Any tips on how to proceed?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Prairie~Phlox]

Yes, it is different on mobile, I can not see online if a message has been seen, but I can in mobile.

[OneStepAtATime]

Do you normally only contact her through FB?  Do you see her otherwise, like IRL?  Do you have a phone number?  If you have a phone number I would call her.  Especially when asking a favor FB doesn't seem like the most efficient means of communication...but then I'm not a big FB user so maybe this is the only way she keeps in contact with people.

[Heatherwith4]

FB messages are glitchy at best. I would call/text her.

[wapiti]

Apparently FB filters messages for spam.  If you go to your message box, and then to Message Requests, and then to Filtered Messages, it is kind of surprising how much turns up there.

 

I'm suggesting that this may have happened to your message to your friend.  It's possible she doesn't know it's there if it's stuck in Filtered Messages.

[regentrude]

I have had fb messages where the notification sign went off a day late or never.

If you need an immediate answer, call - or wait until she is online and message again.

 

I also have a friend who leaves her messages  set to unread until she has time to deal with them. If you read the message in the window but don't click in the resp window, it won't set the status to "read". She does that because that keeps the notification up, and otherwise she forgets to respond.

Edited April 16, 2016 by regentrude

[38carrots]

Yes, it is different on mobile, I can not see online if a message has been seen, but I can in mobile.

 

Hm...I can see on my laptop if a message has been seen. But do you mean if I sent it from laptop and she is on her mobile, she might not see it?

 

 

[OneStepAtATime]

Yeah I think they meant her

Edited April 16, 2016 by OneStepAtATime

[38carrots]

Do you normally only contact her through FB?  Do you see her otherwise, like IRL?  Do you have a phone number?  If you have a phone number I would call her.  Especially when asking a favor FB doesn't seem like the most efficient means of communication...but then I'm not a big FB user so maybe this is the only way she keeps in contact with people.

 

I only see her once a year for a period of time (a month or two) as we live in different cities. I have her phone number, but we've never talked on the phone. It's always been FB. I don't want to ask on the phone, as I want her to have some time to think, without any pressure on her.

 

She posts on FB daily. I like and comment on her posts. She sometimes likes mine. I'm not a big FB user myself, but I am used to contacting people via messages as it seems that all the kids' coaches and teachers expect this.

 

[38carrots]

Apparently FB filters messages for spam.  If you go to your message box, and then to Message Requests, and then to Filtered Messages, it is kind of surprising how much turns up there.

 

I'm suggesting that this may have happened to your message to your friend.  It's possible she doesn't know it's there if it's stuck in Filtered Messages.

 

 

Hm, I have almost nothing in filtered messages! Only 5 spam messages, and that's it.

 

But it gives me an idea on how to approach this.

[J-rap]

I would call or text or email her instead.  I do use Facebook occasionally.  However, even though I've had it for about three years now, I only learned a few months ago about Facebook messages.  Apparently I had some messages sitting in my in-box for over two years!   So, even though I'd go on Facebook from time to time, I had no idea about the messaging part.

[38carrots]

I have had fb messages where the notification sign went off a day late or never.

If you need an immediate answer, call - or wait until she is online and message again.

 

I also have a friend who leaves her messages  set to unread until she has time to deal with them. If you read the message in the window but don't click in the resp window, it won't set the status to "read". She does that because that keeps the notification up, and otherwise she forgets to respond.

 

This is great to know! Thank you! I didn't know there were those options. So it is possible she read it, but has it on un-read, and I don't see the checkmark.

 

I think I'll wait a couple of days then, and will try again, when she is online. Or I might try email.

 

[GailV]

Sometimes I see people simply put a post on someone's public wall along the lines of "I sent you a private message". I assume that's because they run into glitchy messaging.

 

I've gotten messages without getting any notice of them, and just happened to stumble across them days or weeks later -- and I switch from mobile to desktop computer on a regular basis with neither popping up a notice. If someone posted on my wall that they sent me a pm I'd just figure they were having Facebook issues. (My fb isn't even loading right now on my mobile device, as a matter of fact.)

[38carrots]

Sometimes I see people simply put a post on someone's public wall along the lines of "I sent you a private message". I assume that's because they run into glitchy messaging.

 

I've gotten messages without getting any notice of them, and just happened to stumble across them days or weeks later -- and I switch from mobile to desktop computer on a regular basis with neither popping up a notice. If someone posted on my wall that they sent me a pm I'd just figure they were having Facebook issues. (My fb isn't even loading right now on my mobile device, as a matter of fact.)

 

Thank you. This helps.

[Seasider]

I do not use the messenger app, so while I may appear to be active on fb, I am mostly using my phone and can't read messages. I usually wait until the next time I work at the desktop to read and reply to fb messages.

 

I figure if it's something urgent, the sender would have sent a text instead, or just called me.

[38carrots]

I do not use the messenger app, so while I may appear to be active on fb, I am mostly using my phone and can't read messages. I usually wait until the next time I work at the desktop to read and reply to fb messages.

 

I figure if it's something urgent, the sender would have sent a text instead, or just called me.

 

Thank you!!

[Heatherwith4]

I agree with posting on her wall something like: "I pm'ed you."

[MegP]

I would text her.

[38carrots]

I would text her.

 

I'm the last person on Earth with a very dumb phone which doesn't text.

[ThisIsTheDay]

If I'm not on FB when the PM comes, it gets forwarded to my phone.  I will read it there (usually) and never read it on FB. If it's a longer PM, or something that requires much thought or a response, I think I'm putting it aside in my mind, but it will often eventually get lost in my emails. So I might never respond, and it would appear from FB that I never saw the message. 

 

Never trust that FB actually passed on a message if you don't hear anything.

 

Along those same lines, several times, I've PMd a friend, followed it up a few minutes later with a second one, and they only read the second one.  So that could be a possibility for you too, if she only read part of your message.