If you grew up in a conservative Christian home (CC)

[Katy]

I came from a town where nobody was allowed to dance, but this one kid rallied the high schoolers, we went against the preacher, and had a dance anyway. It was exhilarating!

 

Who else started singing Footloose the second they read this?

[LMD]

I came from a town where nobody was allowed to dance, but this one kid rallied the high schoolers, we went against the preacher, and had a dance anyway. It was exhilarating!

I've seen that movie!

 

Honestly, the whole anti dance thing is so bizarre to me. The churches I was a part of tended to view it as a joyful expression. I had no idea that people really banned it until footloose!

[vonfirmath]

I'd like to add that conservative Christian and fundamentalist are two different things. Southern Baptist=conservative Christian. Independent Baptist=fundie. Very different.

I grew up Independent Baptist in Texas with no prohibition against dancing.

[vonfirmath]

I'd like to add that conservative Christian and fundamentalist are two different things. Southern Baptist=conservative Christian. Independent Baptist=fundie. Very different.

I grew up Independent Baptist in Texas with no prohibition against dancing. (And we did learn the bunny hop, square dancing, etc at school so it would have come up)

 

Otoh girls were not allowed to wear pants at the camp we went to so we wore a lot of culottes and my dad made culottes for other girls in the church to go to camp in too

 

ETA: I just remembered here was one song our preacher would actually dance to on stage. Just the one song, but it was kind of signature for him. "If I fall down, I'm going to try to get up because I didn't start out to play. It's a battlefield brother not a recreation room, a fight and not a play. Run if you want to run if you will but I came here to stay"

Edited April 14, 2016 by vonfirmath

[DawnM]

Who else started singing Footloose the second they read this?

 

 

I wasn't allowed to see that movie either!  

[plansrme]

Raised and educated independent fundamental Bible-believing ('cause others aren't, I suppose is the implication) Baptist here.  No dancing, no rock music (contemporary Christian was a stretch) and no movies at the theater.  Girls could not wear pants to any church or school (oh, yes, I went to their school also) functions; it was dresses or culottes.  Half of the boys in my graduating class were called to be preachers and were lovingly called "preacher boys"; none actually became preachers.  Graduates were encouraged to attend Tennessee Temple University (first choice), Pensacola Christian College (second choice) or Liberty University (distant third choice--they were a wee bit liberal).  Bob Jones U was also an acceptable, albeit somewhat unusual, choice.  

 

Are y'all aware that at TTU and BJU, at least back in the day, boys and girls were not permitted to date off campus without a chaperone, and even then, only with a chaperone?  I don't think TTU is even there any more, but both TTU and BJU had dating parlors, which looked like furniture stores.  Couples could go there together and get to know one another in public.

 

 

[Ottakee]

I grew up conservative Baptist. Dancing, playing cards, and movies were very frowned upon in my early teen years.

 

I went to a Christian highschool (Christian Reformed based) and there were no school dances, prom, etc. We did have a banquet and then parents would rent a separate facility for the forbidden dance afterwards.

[DawnM]

Raised and educated independent fundamental Bible-believing ('cause others aren't, I suppose is the implication) Baptist here.  No dancing, no rock music (contemporary Christian was a stretch) and no movies at the theater.  Girls could not wear pants to any church or school (oh, yes, I went to their school also) functions; it was dresses or culottes.  Half of the boys in my graduating class were called to be preachers and were lovingly called "preacher boys"; none actually became preachers.  Graduates were encouraged to attend Tennessee Temple University (first choice), Pensacola Christian College (second choice) or Liberty University (distant third choice--they were a wee bit liberal).  Bob Jones U was also an acceptable, albeit somewhat unusual, choice.  

 

Are y'all aware that at TTU and BJU, at least back in the day, boys and girls were not permitted to date off campus without a chaperone, and even then, only with a chaperone?  I don't think TTU is even there any more, but both TTU and BJU had dating parlors, which looked like furniture stores.  Couples could go there together and get to know one another in public.

 

I was raised in a tiny denomination called the Missionary church.  But our actual mission board (I grew up mostly overseas) was Wesleyan Methodist, Free Methodist, Nazarene, and Missionary Church members for the most part.  I always found it funny that they said they were "inter-denominational" when in reality it was only those who believed the "right" way.

 

I went to school (boarding school) with people of all denominations but most were very conservative and our school did not allow dancing.  But they did allow "mixed bathing" (swimming with both genders in the same place), some secular music, and jeans.  We also had movie night every weekend and played face cards.   So they were selective in their legalism!  :laugh:

 

With our mission, the colleges they recommended were Vernard (now defunct),  Asbury, Marion College, and Taylor.  The first 3 were very conservative.  Taylor was a bit more "liberal."    I did not go to any of those but did attend a Free Methodist school that wasn't as strict.

 

And yes, the phrase, "We are just Bible believing" does imply that "those others" don't follow the Bible the right way.   If everyone agreed on interpreting scripture, there wouldn't be all the denominations there are.

[LisaKinVA]

I was forbidden from dances...rock music was evil...Disney had subliminal messages.   I think it had more to do with Gothard's teachings than my church's (or churches' as I attended several throughout the years), though.  Families who went to Gothard's courses seemed to hold the same stances within the church -- but the pastor wasn't preaching on it.  I do recall a Sunday School program on rock music at one church, though (and I know THAT pastor didn't preach against dancing/drinking...huge Presbyterian church).  The SBC we went to in town (as well) had "dancing" in their Christmas program, and choreography in musicals.

[plansrme]

 

I went to school (boarding school) with people of all denominations but most were very conservative and our school did not allow dancing.  But they did allow "mixed bathing" (swimming with both genders in the same place), some secular music, and jeans.  We also had movie night every weekend and played face cards.   So they were selective in their legalism!  :laugh:

 

 

So you ended up pregnant at 15 is what you're sayin'?

[flyingaway]

Southern Baptist Church and dancing was frowned upon and preached against in youth group.

 

No dancing allowed at Southern Baptist university, so "functions" were held off campus.

[ktgrok]

I'm so confused. Can anyone who was raised with no dancing explain what the justification was??

[fairfarmhand]

Heck no.

 

Here's the quote I heard growing up "A praying knee and a dancing foot won't grow on the same leg."

 

:)

 

Honestly, as an adult I find this view bizarre. Because there WAS dancing in the Bible.

 

I understand that sensual dancing is out for a Christian, but moving your body to music is a neutral activity.

 

Many people block out many activities because of the wrong type of that one thing. So for instance, conservative Christians will look at rock or country individual songs that glorify drunkenness or immorality and draw the conclusion that you should only listen to Christian music. (somehow they make an exception for classical)

 

Some people drink to excess so they forbid anyone from using any spirits at all.

 

Some movies are vile and fill your mind with violence or sexual thoughts, so you shouldn't go to any movies at the theater at all. (and yet, oddly, some of these same people own and use DVDs in their own homes.)

[fairfarmhand]

Raised and educated independent fundamental Bible-believing ('cause others aren't, I suppose is the implication) Baptist here.  No dancing, no rock music (contemporary Christian was a stretch) and no movies at the theater.  Girls could not wear pants to any church or school (oh, yes, I went to their school also) functions; it was dresses or culottes.  Half of the boys in my graduating class were called to be preachers and were lovingly called "preacher boys"; none actually became preachers.  Graduates were encouraged to attend Tennessee Temple University (first choice), Pensacola Christian College (second choice) or Liberty University (distant third choice--they were a wee bit liberal).  Bob Jones U was also an acceptable, albeit somewhat unusual, choice.  

 

Are y'all aware that at TTU and BJU, at least back in the day, boys and girls were not permitted to date off campus without a chaperone, and even then, only with a chaperone?  I don't think TTU is even there any more, but both TTU and BJU had dating parlors, which looked like furniture stores.  Couples could go there together and get to know one another in public.

 

This was my experience growing up too.

 

And culottes...

 

sigh.

 

My teen girls look at my teen pics and sadly shake their heads. "Mom, that's really awful!"

 

[livetoread]

I grew up Seventh-day Adventist and there was no dancing. They have their own school systems and there was no dancing at any school event, including university. We had banquets. At a "barn party" in high school, someone brought in a fiddler, and my date got up and did a little jig. He was told to leave and I had to go dateless the rest of the party.

 

I had no dancing at my wedding, even though we were no longer SDA and had non-SDA friends because it would have been a scandal for our parents.

 

No one could wear jewelry either, including at university. Wedding rings were allowed and engagement rings as long as you weren't an employee. A friend got engaged and she worked at the university library. She was not allowed to wear her engagement ring while working, so she pinned it to her sweater. This was in the mid-80s. Things have relaxed on the jewelry since then, but I haven't heard about any schools sanctioning dances yet.

[plansrme]

I'm so confused. Can anyone who was raised with no dancing explain what the justification was??

 

'Cause that's how girls end up pregnant out of wedlock.  Duh.

 

(I have to say that I really never knew, despite many years in this environment.  I assumed it had to do with the facts that dancing involves (1) touching boys; (2) potentially suggestive motions; and (3) rock music.  Ballet was okay.  Ballroom wasn't a thing at the time in any of our circles, so I don't know how that would have gone over.)

[plansrme]

Heck no.

 

Here's the quote I heard growing up "A praying knee and a dancing foot won't grow on the same leg."

 

:)

 

Honestly, as an adult I find this view bizarre. Because there WAS dancing in the Bible.

 

I understand that sensual dancing is out for a Christian, but moving your body to music is a neutral activity.

 

Many people block out many activities because of the wrong type of that one thing. So for instance, conservative Christians will look at rock or country individual songs that glorify drunkenness or immorality and draw the conclusion that you should only listen to Christian music. (somehow they make an exception for classical)

 

Some people drink to excess so they forbid anyone from using any spirits at all.

 

Some movies are vile and fill your mind with violence or sexual thoughts, so you shouldn't go to any movies at the theater at all. (and yet, oddly, some of these same people own and use DVDs in their own homes.)

 

Oh, yes to all of this.  I thought so when I was a kid.  There's also alcohol in the Bible.  Jesus even turned water into it.  Did you ever get the sermon about how that was really high-quality grape juice?  So he turned water into grape juice?  Like the attendees at this wedding wouldn't know the difference?  And the entire Bible is taken literally ***except*** references to wine, which are merely allegorical.  Or something.

 

My FAVORITE bit of advice was for a couple to keep a Bible between them on dates.  

[fairfarmhand]

Oh, yes to all of this.  I thought so when I was a kid.  There's also alcohol in the Bible.  Jesus even turned water into it.  Did you ever get the sermon about how that was really high-quality grape juice?  So he turned water into grape juice?  Like the attendees at this wedding wouldn't know the difference?  And the entire Bible is taken literally ***except*** references to wine, which are merely allegorical.  Or something.

 

My FAVORITE bit of advice was for a couple to keep a Bible between them on dates.  

 

Oh yes, the wine that wasn't really wine.... HA!  The "new wine" and the "old wine."

 

And I heard that bit about keeping a Bible between you too.

 

[Lady Marmalade]

It was in the by-laws of the church that dancing was not okay.

 

When I hit the age that I could attend dances at school however, my parents decided to look the other way as long as the events did not conflict with a church activity.  I think they really were okay with dancing themselves, but since the church had rules and daddy was on and off the board over the years...

 

My sophomore year in high school I tried out for and made the dance team, and did that for two years.  In those days we were called the pom-pon squad, and I think that terminology is what kept the church from having issues with it.  OR, there were issues and my parents chose to never speak to me about it, taking the hit from the church upon themselves.  

 

I loved dancing!  And now my children are competitive dancers.  I sometimes think that those old moldy church people would drop dead if they saw the dancing and costumes that I see at competitions.    :lol:   But we love it.

 

AND we now attend a church that embraces dancing.  My children (and anyone else who wants) are allowed to dance as a form of worship.  

 

 

[Scarlett]

I just want to say I have really enjoyed this thread. Hearing how so many of you grew up. A little snapshot into the past.

[Southern Ivy]

Did your family/church/group allow dancing?

 

I am just curious.  

 

I grew up not being allowed to dance or go to dances, etc.....even secular music was viewed as "bad."

 

Even my Christian college didn't allow dances on campus, although there were students who rented a hall and organized them off campus and most people had no problem with it (there was no alcohol, it was just a fun time with a DJ and a hall.)

 

I was going to make a poll, but I think there are just too many variables to create one.

 

BTW:  My parents are still against dancing....

Strict independent Baptist church. 

Don't you know that dancing gets you pregnant?!  :ohmy:  

 

Of course, I also went to the Christian school associated with the church. We had boy/girl lunchrooms and when we went on trips, girls and boys were segregated on the bus. Relationships were pretty much taboo. It was all pretty ridiculous and damaging. But, that's a whole different issue. lol) 

 

For what it's worth, I don't have an issue with dancing. I'm not into the whole "nasty grind" stuff, though. 

 

**Oh, to make the rules even more arbitrary, we had a cheer squad and we could do dances as long as we called them "routines" and not dances.  :001_rolleyes: Because, the name changes it all, right? 

 

Edited April 14, 2016 by Southern Ivy

[Scarlett]

As for the strict rules......hmm.....

 

The thing is that for some people some of those activities are a problem or can lead to addictive behavior.

Some can't have any alcohol without going overboard.

Some can't play cards without relapsing into gambling.

Sometimes dancing can be sexually provocative and may become a problem for unmarried people who want to remain chaste or married people who want to remain faithful.

 

But there is no need to throw the baby out with the bath water.

 

Moderation is key. And if a person has problem with their own handling of those things they are free to refrain completely. It doesn't mean it is a sin for others though.

 

Sometime I think it is lost that we were created to enjoy life.

[Southern Ivy]

Heck no.

 

Here's the quote I heard growing up "A praying knee and a dancing foot won't grow on the same leg."

 

 

HA - I've never heard that saying. That's hysterical! 

 

I'm so confused. Can anyone who was raised with no dancing explain what the justification was??

Because dancing is sensual and sex is evil unless you're married, thus dancing is equal to sex and you will get pregnant if we have prom. 

That was pretty much our explanation from the school. 

 

I was forbidden from dances...rock music was evil...Disney had subliminal messages.   I think it had more to do with Gothard's teachings than my church's (or churches' as I attended several throughout the years), though.  Families who went to Gothard's courses seemed to hold the same stances within the church -- but the pastor wasn't preaching on it.  I do recall a Sunday School program on rock music at one church, though (and I know THAT pastor didn't preach against dancing/drinking...huge Presbyterian church).  The SBC we went to in town (as well) had "dancing" in their Christmas program, and choreography in musicals.

YUP! 

Our youth pastor was reprimanded regularly for introducing the innocent children to Third Day and DC Talk. 

 

Raised and educated independent fundamental Bible-believing ('cause others aren't, I suppose is the implication) Baptist here.  No dancing, no rock music (contemporary Christian was a stretch) and no movies at the theater.  Girls could not wear pants to any church or school (oh, yes, I went to their school also) functions; it was dresses or culottes.  Half of the boys in my graduating class were called to be preachers and were lovingly called "preacher boys"; none actually became preachers.  Graduates were encouraged to attend Tennessee Temple University (first choice), Pensacola Christian College (second choice) or Liberty University (distant third choice--they were a wee bit liberal).  Bob Jones U was also an acceptable, albeit somewhat unusual, choice.  

 

Are y'all aware that at TTU and BJU, at least back in the day, boys and girls were not permitted to date off campus without a chaperone, and even then, only with a chaperone?  I don't think TTU is even there any more, but both TTU and BJU had dating parlors, which looked like furniture stores.  Couples could go there together and get to know one another in public.

Yeppers again. 

I have had friends at TTU, PCC, and BJU. I wanted to go to Liberty, just because DC Talk went there. lol I went to an evil secular college instead. ;) 

I had some sibling friends at PCC. The brother and sister got demerits/written up because they were talking to each other in an "unapproved location".

They said "We're not dating! We're brother and sister."

They were told that "Not everyone knows that, so we need to keep everyone from "stumbling"." 

 

I almost went to PCC. I probably would have been kicked out. 

[DawnM]

So you ended up pregnant at 15 is what you're sayin'?

 

 

Nope.....left 6 inches for the Holy Spirit just like I was told.

 

http://www.patheos.com/blogs/nolongerquivering/2014/05/the-six-inch-rule-thou-shalt-not-touch/

[Dmmetler]

I didn't, but my best friends growing up were Mennonite and attended the Mennonite school. They didn't have dances, but had roller skate nights with Christian music that served the same purpose. I also learned folk dancing at Mennonite camps and retreats, done with all women (or all men).

[plansrme]

Nope.....left 6 inches for the Holy Spirit just like I was told.

 

http://www.patheos.com/blogs/nolongerquivering/2014/05/the-six-inch-rule-thou-shalt-not-touch/

 

But but but--you appeared in a bathing suit in front of BOYS.  Surely somebody ended up pregnant from all that visible skin.

[Southern Ivy]

Nope.....left 6 inches for the Holy Spirit just like I was told.

 

http://www.patheos.com/blogs/nolongerquivering/2014/05/the-six-inch-rule-thou-shalt-not-touch/

Wow. That brought back some bad memories. 

I think every IFB church did the same thing. I've been in so many of those sermons and seen the pastor pretty much single out that one particular "sin" with that one particular couple. 

 

 

Editing to add: So much truth concerning the damages this type of thinking does. So very, very true. 

Edited April 14, 2016 by Southern Ivy

[goldberry]

Nope.....left 6 inches for the Holy Spirit just like I was told.

 

http://www.patheos.com/blogs/nolongerquivering/2014/05/the-six-inch-rule-thou-shalt-not-touch/

 

 

That's the core of the reasoning I think...  This quote:

 

Over the years, I told countless teenagers that no girl ever got pregnant without holding hands with a boy first. I repeatedly told them that holding hands leads to familiarity and before you know it you’ll be rutting like rabbits in the back seat of a car. So the answer is NO TOUCHING!

 

Don't you just love people turning a normal and healthy human desire for contact into something disgusting?   :glare:

[DawnM]

But but but--you appeared in a bathing suit in front of BOYS.  Surely somebody ended up pregnant from all that visible skin.

 

 

Well, there were rumors!  :lol:

 

And I know some actually did have the S word.   :crying:

 

I admit I was a bit of a goodie two shoes for the most part.  I did get in trouble for small things, like I skipped class once.  I snuck out of the dorms a couple of times.  That was more than many did.  But it wasn't huge.

[vonfirmath]

Wow. That brought back some bad memories. 

I think every IFB church did the same thing. I've been in so many of those sermons and seen the pastor pretty much single out that one particular "sin" with that one particular couple. 

 

 

Editing to add: So much truth concerning the damages this type of thinking does. So very, very true. 

 

Not -every- IFB church.  Note my posts above. That was a IFB church.

 

 

That's the core of the reasoning I think...  This quote:

 

Over the years, I told countless teenagers that no girl ever got pregnant without holding hands with a boy first. I repeatedly told them that holding hands leads to familiarity and before you know it you’ll be rutting like rabbits in the back seat of a car. So the answer is NO TOUCHING!

 

Don't you just love people turning a normal and healthy human desire for contact into something disgusting?   :glare:

 

...I am very thankful for my youth pastor.  We were taught that there was a continuum of activities before actual intercourse. And that once you are In The Moment, it can be hard to think straight and make decisions. So the best thing to do is, before you are In Love, to determine your own personal boundaries. What are you Okay with. What are you NOT okay with. If you think through it (And they are your own boundaries, not set on you by some externality), then when The Moment to stand comes, you are much more likely to abide by those boundaries. I forget exactly the order, so this may not exactly be correct. So are you okay dating? Being alone with a guy? Holding Hands? Hugging? Kissing? (Kissing on the Lips) Touching each other over clothes. Touching each other under clothes.  Removing clothes.  Etc.

 

(And one of my first discussions with now-husband was about my boundaries. What each of us were okay with. So we were both on guard to not cross those. And the way he respected my boundaries, even when they were not the same as his, just made me love him more and expect that he'd respect me within marriage as well.)

 

 

Edited April 14, 2016 by vonfirmath

[FaithManor]

I was raised Methodist until I was 15 so actually went to a couple of school dances, and my brother and I had friends over and we danced around our bedrooms to the tunes. Then my dad decided I would be better off in a fundamentalist parochial school with a laundry list of activities that were considered demonic and dancing was one of them. I didn't last long there.

 

Dh's college was Christian and didn't allow dancing. Mine was secular.

[8circles]

My church isn't this kind of fundamentalist.  But my parents were, although they came from very different religious backgrounds and so they had to compromise.  

 

My mom was raised AG and her whole side of the family was anti-dancing.  Playing cards were OK, though. Movies above a G rating were out. My cousin was removed from my wedding reception for dancing with my brother (also her cousin ;) ).

 

My dad was raised very strict Calvinist in the old country.  Folk dancing, ballett, ballroom, etc were OK. 

[TianXiaXueXiao]

Now I have Footloose stuck in my head. Aww, Kevin Bacon, how I swooned over you! ðŸ˜

 

I grew up in a conservative home that was Christian in name but pagan and gnostic in practice. My family and church had no stance against dancing. Dancing was encouraged.

 

I had a few friends who belonged to the Nazarene (sp?) Church and Pentecostal church who could not do things like dance, listen to music, or wear black clothing where i grew up in SoCal in the 70s abs 80s.

Edited April 14, 2016 by TianXiaXueXiao