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If you grew up in a conservative Christian home (CC)


DawnM
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Did your family/church/group allow dancing?

 

I am just curious.  

 

I grew up not being allowed to dance or go to dances, etc.....even secular music was viewed as "bad."

 

Even my Christian college didn't allow dances on campus, although there were students who rented a hall and organized them off campus and most people had no problem with it (there was no alcohol, it was just a fun time with a DJ and a hall.)

 

I was going to make a poll, but I think there are just too many variables to create one.

 

BTW:  My parents are still against dancing....

 

 

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I did grow up in a conservative Christian home, but my parents were not against dancing. Several families in my church were, so I just kept it quiet that I attended school dances. When I went to a Christian college, dances were not allowed there and we were not allowed to go to clubs. Many people did anyway...I did.

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The church I grew up in allowed dancing in church.   You weren't supposed to go to school dances, but it was Pentecostal and people certainly danced.  Women were allowed to be pastors, but not wear pants.  As a teen I switched to a conservative Baptist church where going to school dances was allowed, dancing in church was frowned upon, women were allowed to wear pants, but not be pastors.   Which was a very good insight for me into the world of the arbritrary rules of religious institutions.   I went to a very conservative college, where dancing was allowed.  They even had a dance/praise team.   Whereas, DH went to a more liberal college and dancing was strictly forbidden.   It was a whole big issue at the college at the time.  This was the mid-90's by the way, not 1896...

 

 

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Our church didn't have an official stance.  It was frowned upon by some families I suppose.  My parents were okay with us going to dances.  I went to a few in junior high, but I never found them much fun.  I didn't go to any in high school.

 

My mom was not allowed to go to dances, movies, or anything like that when she was growing up.

 

The Bible college I attended did not allow dancing except for married couples in their own home.  We had to sign a behavior agreement that included no dancing, no drinking, no rated R movies, etc.  They suspended and sometimes expelled students for not following the rules.  It was pretty strict, but we went their voluntarily, so even though I didn't agree with everything, I followed the rules because I agreed to live by them.

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I grew up in a non-denominational church that did not have a problem with dancing/dances. My husband grew up in a Baptist family, amd while I believe their church frowned on dancing, his family didn't seem to. DH also went to a private Christian school that held dances. I think it may be more of a denominational issue than a blanket Christianity issue.

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No dancing in our conservative church when I was growing up.  People who had their wedding receptions in the church annex had to sign an agreement that expressly forbade any sort of dancing.  I didn't personally go to any dances or prom when in high school but I know that friends from church did.  Dancing was not forbidden by my parents - maybe frowned upon.  I didn't go to any dances because I was shy and a nerd - LOL!

 

The Christian college I attended forbade dancing when I was there.  I think the rules have loosened up a bit on that but I'm not sure what the current rules are.  

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I grew up in Southern Baptist churches in the SW part of the US.  Yes, dancing and going to dances were considered perfectly acceptable. I graduated from high school in 1991.

My mother grew up in the same area, same denomination and dances were acceptable. She graduated from high school in 1963.

 

My maternal grandparents grew up in Louisville, KY, same denomination, and they went to dances.  They graduated in 1941.

 

Edited by Homeschool Mom in AZ
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Their SBC church didn't comment on dancing much until the pastor went off the deep end after his wife passed and got fundamental-ish. The couple who were youth pastors were fundamental-ish too, and only about 5 years older than us. None of the kids in my small youth group was there for any reason other than being obligated by our parents, and we all went to dances. My parents drink and have nothing against dancing. I really have no idea why they belong to a SBC. They really don't align with the philosophy. Anyway... 

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I was raised in the church of Christ (still a member). Dancing and attending prom was not forbidden by the church, but it was frowned on by some people.  My parents did not allow me to attend prom or any other dances, but I was taught that it was okay for a husband and wife to dance together at home. I was taught that dancing (not sexually suggestive moves) was not a sin, but that the places available to go dancing were not places Christians should frequent because of the other immoral behavior that would be encountered (drinking, suggestive dance moves, immodest clothing, inappropriate relationships, etc).  

 

I also attended a university affiliated with the church of Christ, and dancing was not permitted on campus.  As part of the student code of ethics, we were also not allowed to be in places where dancing or drinking was the primary activity.

 

Lana

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Dancing was allowed, but going to school dances was not because of the association and morally questionable music.  There was still not a lot of dancing in my area even at weddings, etc.  I heard that other areas had more.

 

Recently there was a dance in our area, but when there was line dancing with partners across the line it caused a big fuss.  I thought it was ridiculous honestly.  Holding hands to dance a partner dance is not the same as a bump-n-grind...

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My parents did not allow me to attend prom or any other dances,

 

I was taught that dancing (not sexually suggestive moves) was not a sin, but that the places available to go dancing were not places Christians should frequent because of the other immoral behavior that would be encountered (drinking, suggestive dance moves, immodest clothing, inappropriate relationships, etc).  

 

 

 

This was my experience also.

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I grew up around VERY conservative christian people (odd sect... I grew up out west) and they were not allowed dancing or even a radio! They sent their children to public school though. Go figure! They were the ones that were always smoking and drinking in the back areas where they shouldn't be. 

 

I consider myself conservative and christian and I am encouraging my boys to dance. I met my husband ballroom dancing and I think it would be good for my boys when they are older. 

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I consider myself conservative and christian and I am encouraging my boys to dance. I met my husband ballroom dancing and I think it would be good for my boys when they are older. 

 

Agree, I think ballroom and partner dancing (square dancing, virginia reel, etc) are actually wonderful ways to get that boy-girl contact they are craving in an appropriate environment.  

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I was raised in the church of Christ (still a member). Dancing and attending prom was not forbidden by the church, but it was frowned on by some people.  My parents did not allow me to attend prom or any other dances, but I was taught that it was okay for a husband and wife to dance together at home. I was taught that dancing (not sexually suggestive moves) was not a sin, but that the places available to go dancing were not places Christians should frequent because of the other immoral behavior that would be encountered (drinking, suggestive dance moves, immodest clothing, inappropriate relationships, etc).  

 

I also attended a university affiliated with the church of Christ, and dancing was not permitted on campus.  As part of the student code of ethics, we were also not allowed to be in places where dancing or drinking was the primary activity.

 

Lana

 

Very conservative church upbringing.  The bolded part is pretty much what was taught and what I still believe today.  I never learned though and really wish that I had.  

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Our church frowns upon it, but lots of members dance in one form or 'tother. One family has a daughter that does ballet and has been a beauty queen complete with bikini and all that. She is encouraged by all, yet dancing....well...

 

Our kiddos have been in Cotillion and we've been to dances with our kids like barn dances and such. We've also done formal balls as a married couple and kids only. Not the "prom" events but white tie, country club type events.

 

Another family at our congregation participates in father daughter dances.

 

Despite the varied beliefs, the church's official stance isn't pro dancing.

Edited by Excelsior! Academy
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Yes. Dancing wasn't discouraged so long as it wasn't overly sexual - some forms of dance are really kind of simulated sex and we aren't fans of that, but a normal, chaperoned high school dance or jazz/ballet/swing/tap/whatever? No problem in my family and if our church disapproved they never said anything.

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Well, the fundy Christian school I attended was against dancing (or dances, or "disco" dancing, or the disco-tech, though didn't affect my age group),but my parents weren't *strongly* against dancing. The church I attended was Pentacostal, so there were some holy-roller dancing moments at times. (So ridiculous in retrospect; there were even conga-line-inspired dances around the sanctuary! So preposterous to me now!) I think my parents were not of one mind regarding contemporary Christian music. I think my dad thought it was a Satanic foothold, but my mom disagreed and so I had a Stryper Cassette.

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I grew up evangelical, but not fundamentalist. Dancing wasn't forbidden, but it also wasn't out there as the best thing you could do with your time, either. So allowed, but not promoted.

This was me. I went to a few dances in middle school and maybe one in high school (and a couple of proms), and no one in my family or church cared much either way. No one saw dancing in itself as some road to sin. Now, if I'd have spiked the punch or went off alone with guys that would be considered pretty bad but not dancing itself or attending dances.

Edited by Garga
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I grew up Southern Baptist (and still am) and we were allowed to dance. It wasn't an issue at all in my family or my church. I graduated in 1997, to give an idea of the time frame. 

 

I didn't know anyone who wasn't allowed to dance.

 

ETA: I'm in South Louisiana

Edited by Mom23Boys
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Well, the Episcopal Church isn't considered that conservative, but my parents were very conservative Christians who happened to love dancing and also drank alcohol.

But, I guess I don't know what really the definition of conservative is. They were orthodox in their beliefs. Is that what you mean?

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Dancing was allowed, but going to school dances was not because of the association and morally questionable music. There was still not a lot of dancing in my area even at weddings, etc. I heard that other areas had more.

 

Recently there was a dance in our area, but when there was line dancing with partners across the line it caused a big fuss. I thought it was ridiculous honestly. Holding hands to dance a partner dance is not the same as a bump-n-grind...

Wow what a bunch of fuddy duddies!

 

Otherwise my experience growing up was not that dancing is wrong....just the sexually provocative dances.

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I grew up Pentecostal and definitely no dancing unless you count running the aisles? No secular music, no pants, make-up, or hair cutting for girls, no shorts or long hair for boys. No ear piercing no jewelry except wedding rings, and TV's were highly frowned on (we had one but my dad didn't want us to tell any one at church, he really liked PBS).  My parents were conservative but they weren't quite that strict.  I could listen to the radio some and I went to a dance when I was 14. 

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I grew up in a conservative reformed church. I'm not sure if there was an official church policy on dancing (it feels like there was, but that may have just my perception of my parent's strong stance on things), but it was definitely not allowed for any of our youth group. Dancing leads to CONTACT WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX which will of course inevitably lead to sex and the downfall of civilization, doncha know. ;)

Sadly, I have a close friend from teh same church who married a man from other church circles. His father passed away while they were dating, and he wanted to have a mother/son dance at his wedding because the two of them had gone through a lot together. My friend's parents were adamantly opposed to ANY dancing at their reception. At all. My friend said too bad, this means a lot to him and it's messed up that your hatred of dancing extends to a mother/son dance. Her parents told her that they would not pay for any wedding that involved dancing and would walk out of the reception if she actually went through with it. They paid for the wedding on their own, and her parents did indeed storm out during the groom's dance with his mother. It was so heartbreaking to watch.

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How is forbidding dancing justified? The Bible mentions many instances of dancing by very revered figures.

 

Regarding suggestive dancing, Christians might refer to 1 Thessalonians 5:32: "Abstain from all appearance of evil." It could also be considered a form of sensuality, or there may be concern about possibly leading others to stumble.

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Regarding suggestive dancing, Christians might refer to 1 Thessalonians 5:32: "Abstain from all appearance of evil." It could also be considered a form of sensuality, or there may be concern about possibly leading others to stumble.

Well that scripture could apply to many many things.

 

We dance. We just do our best to keep it clean.

 

We drink. We just do our best to not overindulge.

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Well that scripture could apply to many many things.

 

We dance. We just do our best to keep it clean.

 

We drink. We just do our best to not overindulge.

 

Yep, same here!  :001_smile: And I agree--the Scriptures I cited could (and, I believe, should) be applied to many different situations.

Edited by MercyA
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LDS stakes actually host church dances that youth can attend once they are 14.  :thumbup1:  They are careful about the music and there are chaperones to make sure things don't get too wild.... no "bear hugging" during slow dances  Lol.  I was such a wallflower and I can't dance so I kind of hated church dances.  :huh:

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I grew up in a conservative but not fundamental church. My dad didn't like dances at all and my mom "snuck" me to one in middle school. He must have later changed his mind because after that I was allowed to go to any dance I wanted to attend. I was (am) much too shy to dance in public though.

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Yes, we were allowed to dance.   The church I went to from birth to 14 was Methodist and the one I went to through my teens years was Baptist- but everyone said, at the time, that we weren't very Baptist.  We didnt' actually *have* dances at church or with the youth group, but no one made any comments or talked about it being forbidden either. 

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I became conservative Christian as a teen, but my church tended towards the charismatic/know the bible well enough to recognize and listen to the Holy Spirit type of conservative rather than the legalistic type of conservative. I was raised by very liberal/fairly secular parents (well, in religious terms.  Both were in the military and not so liberal in other ways). My church at that time had no issue with dancing per se, there were even liturgical dancers that would perform for the church a couple times per year (in baggy turtlenecks and maxi skirts with loose pants underneath). 

 

At one point I was invited to go to a public salsa dancing lesson with a group from church, and I went and I had fun until one certain boy wanted to dance.  I went from having fun to suddenly being overtaken with the feeling that this was wrong and it had to stop immediately.  I just said "I can't" and stood at the side of the room until someone else wanted to walk back to their car. I don't know if it was a Holy Spirit type of reaction, or the fact that I had clearly felt lust from/with this boy who was the brother of someone I was unofficially courting at the time.  That Josh Harris book had just come out and the rules weren't really defined yet. I don't think I danced again with any man until I attended a wedding with DH just before we got engaged.

 

So assuming this question is really about whether you should dance, or whether you should allow your child to dance, my answer is it depends.

 

If it's you, and you know this isn't a stumbling block for you, and you trust yourself to obey the Holy Spirit and stop the moment it feels wrong, I say go and have fun.  Just obey if you get told to stop, or to stop with one person in particular.

 

If this is your child and you trust that they are mature and have freely chosen to follow Christ, and they know enough of the Bible to know how to discern what's right and what's wrong in a questionable situation, then I would give them the same advice.

 

If this is a child who got baptized because it's just what you do in your world, but not because they love the Lord, If this is a boy who's had issues with lust and you know about it, or a girl who seems convinced she's going to marry a crush that you deem inappropriate, idk.  It might depend upon age. The older the child, the more I let them make their own choices and mistakes, with a lot of discussion about moral choices and consequences. The goal is to raise a responsible and mature adult who freely and joyfully chooses to serve God and who will freely choose to do what they think is right, not for me to control them the rest of their lives. So with that in mind, I would pray about it and then decide what to do.

 

I suppose leaning on Galatians 5 rather than a rule one way or another might make many people argue with the concept that I was ever conservative though. It is the best argument against legalism that I know.

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One more thing:  it's much easier to follow an arbitrary rule than it is to listen to the Holy Spirit and do what you think is right at all times.  But I don't think rules are the mark of maturity.  Understanding nuance is the mark of maturity in my book.

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Yes, we were allowed to dance.   The church I went to from birth to 14 was Methodist and the one I went to through my teens years was Baptist- but everyone said, at the time, that we weren't very Baptist.  We didnt' actually *have* dances at church or with the youth group, but no one made any comments or talked about it being forbidden either. 

 

I grew up Methodist!  We had dances at church camp.  

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