Homeschooled children and anxiety...linked?

[Amy in NH]

My son is staying to see a new therapist. This is for depression and anxiety.

 

During one first session she said that she had seen quite a bit of homesvhooled children, and all for general anxiety.

 

Made me wonder what about the homeschooling experience, or lack of traditional schooling experiences might contribute to anxiety.

 

What do you think?

 

I get a lot of calls from people interested taking a child out of public school to homeschool because of anxiety problems.  Maybe that's what she is seeing?

Edited April 11, 2016 by Amy in NH

[ChocolateReignRemix]

To be fair, the therapist just said she saw a lot of homeschool kids (probably to put the OP's mind at ease about her familiarity with the concept.) It is the OP who is asking if there is a correlation.

 

This needs to be pointed out again.  The therapist did not say what many here are accusing her of saying.

[Tsuga]

 

(Also a little bit, if you spend all day every day with someone youre more likely to notice when they need help? Maybe?)

 

And lord have mercy if ps doesnt inspire anxiety in a significant proportion of students, I dont know what does. That is the topic of like 80% of teen novels.

 

I agree that a parent at home all day is much more likely to notice anxiety. Our schools have programs to help students deal with anxiety and emotional distress so clearly it is an issue that many children face, and a homeschooling parent is likely to outsource that. But our kids spend at least 2 hours per week on social-emotional learning in a group setting.

 

So OP if you find that your child needs that in a therapy setting I would not find that odd at all. Great that you're so attentive to her needs.

[Tsuga]

 

 

 I am looking into counseling for my kid (who is not homeschooled), and the question of fitting it into our schedule is about to give *me* anxiety.

 

Parallel lives, I am telling you...

[ebrindam]

I think I would find a new therapist. 

[luuknam]

As dmmetler implied, therapists get a lot of their business by word of mouth. So, if in homeschool circles, that's the therapist everybody recommends, then that particular therapist is likely to see an extraordinarily large number of homeschooled kids with anxiety, while other therapists in the area might see relatively fewer homeschooled kids with anxiety.

 

I've got generalized anxiety disorder (and was public schooled), and I'm seeing anxiety tendencies in my youngest. I've got a friend who iirc was also public schooled who comes across as quite anxious to me, and her youngest also has anxiety issues. Maybe people with anxiety problems are more likely to choose to homeschool, and the kids are likely to inherit susceptibility to anxiety.

[SparklyUnicorn]

As dmmetler implied, therapists get a lot of their business by word of mouth. So, if in homeschool circles, that's the therapist everybody recommends, then that particular therapist is likely to see an extraordinarily large number of homeschooled kids with anxiety, while other therapists in the area might see relatively fewer homeschooled kids with anxiety.

 

I've got generalized anxiety disorder (and was public schooled), and I'm seeing anxiety tendencies in my youngest. I've got a friend who iirc was also public schooled who comes across as quite anxious to me, and her youngest also has anxiety issues. Maybe people with anxiety problems are more likely to choose to homeschool, and the kids are likely to inherit susceptibility to anxiety.

 

Good point.  Homeschoolers locally often ask for doctor/therapist recommendations.  Mostly because they want someone who isn't going to give them grief about homeschooling.

 

It bothers me though when therapists mention stuff like this.  Although at least that's pretty minimal information.  I had a therapist go on and on about the details of other clients.  Nothing where I could have identified them too easily, but still I don't really want to know about their other clients. 

[Pen]

I think therapists are likely to see kids for the most common problems that exist--anxiety, depression, etc.   And they are not likely to see kids who are not having these problems.   Whether in school or homeschooling.

 

To me there seems to be as much or more anxiety amongst school kids as in homeschooled. Maybe more. since every day starts with a rush of anxiety just to get to school on time with all the needed items, as well as social anxiety, grade anxiety, proper clothing anxiety, reports and performance anxiety, sometimes anxiety of trying to get from class to class on time, sometimes bullying, etc.

 

I think the question whether there is a general upsurge in current anxiety levels in general would be more interesting.

[Arcadia]

It depends on genetics, parents personality and kids personality. My youngest had academic anxiety thinking he was behind until he was in B&M classes. Nothing else could convince him he was not behind, despite decent standardized tests scores.

 

Another one might be moms like me, whose own anxiety contributed to my decision to homeschool. "Mood disorders" which includes both anxiety and depression can run in families.

My dad had such high self induced anxiety that he make my teachers and my brother's teachers anxious not about us but about him. There is a good reason my dad does not oversee my education and caused my brother to panic when doing homework but not in school. Luckily my brother does not have any self induced anxiety, just the occasional job stress anxiety.

[Tsuga]

What is 'self-induced' anxiety ?

 

Anxiety is anxiety, as far as I'm concerned, no matter the trigger or precipitating causes.

 

While true, some people have anxiety that is brought on by external causes, like they can handle "normal" stressors but abuse / bullying, heavy school workload, divorce, nutritional deficits, etc. cause anxiety in some people who would not otherwise have that.

[Tsuga]

Internal causes aren't 'self induced' though. Makes it sound like the only understandable anxiety is the kind that has an external cause. 

 

I disagree--I wouldn't consider "internal" to mean "self-induced" but perhaps this conversation is referring to a greater conversation and vocabulary that I'm not aware of.

[ChocolateReignRemix]

I think I would find a new therapist. 

 

Why? 

[Joanne]

I think she's FOS.

 

Selective bias, particularly if she attributes the anxiety to homeschooling, less so if she attributes homeschooling to anxiety. ;)

[OhanaBee]

I think my family is a great example of nature over nurture. I have 2 kids with anxiety. 1 homeschooled for 4 years, another for his entire school life so far. Then I have another kid, always homeschooled, who is SUPER social and not afraid of a damn thing in life. All 3 have always been who they are, pretty much since the day they were born. My non anxious kid is also the only one who never went to preschool. So could you say preschool causes anxiety? I don't think so. I think it's just natural wiring. Dh has anxiety, too; I do not. I say it's all about the genetics. Where life choices come in is do they support the development of healthy coping mechanisms, or do they exacerbate the struggles? I would say that homeschooling can play a very healthy role if part of a bigger plan to support the child (which is exactly what you appear to be doing).

 

I totally agree with this!  Two of our kids have anxiety issues [which manifested itself differently in each child].  And they were both like this pretty much from birth.  I also have a niece who has anxiety, while *her* two siblings are social butterflies who don't seem to have a care in the world.  Niece has never been homeschooled and, in fact, attends a very nurturing private school. 

 

My girls and my niece are learning/have learned different ways to cope.  At some point two of them may need to go on medication.  Sis and I are taking it one day at a time.  But it does help to have it in the family and to be able to share about the kids.  It also helps the girls to know that they aren't alone and it's not because of a "situation"......it's just who they are.

 

[ChocolateReignRemix]

Because it's a red flag for a pro-school/anti-homeschool attitude that is sadly, very common in therapists dealing with school-age children.

 

But the therapist didn't make that statement.  The OP did.