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Fear of bathrooms causing accidents

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I'm pretty sure this is what's going on with my 5 year old daughter who has a language delay. I feel like the anxiety is what is causing the frequent accidents. Sometimes it's fear of a spider in the bathroom, other times I don't know - fear of the bathroom itself maybe? I have a toddler potty seat that I might try putting in the living room to see if she'll use it. I'm at a loss to know what to do to help!


She'll poop in the toilet and has regular bowels, once a day. She says it doesn't hurt to pee, but I have an appointment scheduled with the Dr. to be sure there's nothing else going on physically. I'll literally catch her sitting on her foot, with a puddle of pee under her. I'll send her to the bathroom and she'll change her clothes and clean herself and the floor up. I don't punish her for the accidents but I make her take responsibility for cleaning up but it doesn't seem to make a difference.


So how do I work with her? I have trouble because of the limited verbal feedback due to the expressive language delay, and It's not healthy for her to continue this way though! I'm sure the pediatrician will have advice too, but I'd love to be able to do something NOW, this weekend, to make a difference for her now that I feel like I've figured out what's going on and I thought maybe there are moms on this board who've dealt with this before who might be able to impart some wisdom?

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yeah, I've tried that, but if she feels like she doesn't need to go, she'll fight me and cry, saying she doesn't need to go. Only to have an accident 10 minutes later.


I had success with a timer and asking if her was still dry every hour, allowing her to go when she needed to and giving lots of praise for dry pants, but after a couple good days in a row, she slips back into being wet. 


The frustrating thing is this is the child who potty-trained herself, super easy, when she was two and a half.

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I have a kiddo who has extreme difficulty with transitions who HATeS to potty because it interrupts what he is doing... He never had accidents much with it but would visibly be miserable before he would choose to stop doing something for 30 seconds to pee... I started for a while recommending he go when he was already transitioning to something, before or after new activities, that kind of thing...


He also fears most public restrooms..


Good luck and hugs to you!

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Rather than trying to get her to go, before she needs to?

You could try the opposite approach?

When she feels the urge to go, to wait another 5 minutes.


The Bladder has a pressure sensory mechanism, where it can detect how much pee it is holding, and how much empty space is left?

Though the only way to gain sense of how pee our bladder can hold?

Is to hold on a bit longer.

Which also develops an awareness and control of the sphincter muscles, that release the pee from the bladder.

Where perhaps you might reflect on where you have 'had the urge', but delayed it for 5 to 10 minutes?

How you were able to identify that you could hold on a bit longer?


Where the only way to find out how much pee our bladder can really hold?

Is by practicing holding on.

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