Two words I have trouble saying

[chocolate-chip chooky]

There's the 'g' word and then there's the 'u' word.

 

I'll give you a clue, or two, more accurately.

 

One starts with 'g' and rhymes with 'drifted'.

 

The other starts with 'un' and rhymes with 'drooling'.

 

 

Why do I have these hang-ups? Is it only me?

 

Why can't I openly speak about drifted and drooling ??

Edited April 7, 2016 by chocolate-chip chooky

[eternalsummer]

only together, or also separately?

[Arcadia]

I don't but I was a notorious rebel even as a preemie in NICU.

 

However I won't use the word gifted unless there is a need. Unschooling can be use with anyone even my school teacher friends. Even my retired teacher dad supports unschooling after he sees how happy my boys are with what they came up with.

[chocolate-chip chooky]

Together, separately, either/or/and.

Even with my husband I hesitate to use these words.

 

Hmmm, Arcadia has a retired school-teacher Dad .... I have retired school-teacher Mum and Dad and MIL.

There are three possible keys to why drooling is so hard to talk about.

 

In fact, it's odd how little any of them even ask about what we do, how we do it or even why we do it.

 

Or maybe it's not odd at all, and I'm just feeling weird this morning.

[clementine]

Am I the only one who couldn't figure out your words until I read Arcadia's response???   :lol:   It's been that kind of day.  

[chocolate-chip chooky]

Am I the only one who couldn't figure out your words until I read Arcadia's response???   :lol:   It's been that kind of day.  

 

Yay! So I'm not the only one who's woken up feeling a bit off-kilter  :001_smile:

 

[quark]

Of course you are having trouble. Try saying

 

I have a drifted drooling daughter real fast. :)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Gifted unschooling. There you go. It's easy to say.

We did that after the gifted homeschooling got a little too drifty. I drooled after unschooling but was always afraid to do it.  Until the decision wasn't mine to make anymore.

Edited April 7, 2016 by quark

[chocolate-chip chooky]

Of course you are having trouble. Try saying

 

I have a drifted drooling daughter real fast. :)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Gifted unschooling. There you go. It's easy to say.

We did that after the gifted homeschooling got a little too drifty. I drooled after unschooling but was always afraid to do it.  Until the decision wasn't mine to make anymore.

 

 

Ahh, thank you, thank you, thank you.

Problem solved :hurray: :laugh: 

[Arcadia]

.... I have retired school-teacher Mum and Dad and MIL.

There are three possible keys to why drooling is so hard to talk about.

Is it because the concept of unschooling is foreign to them or is it because it seems anti-establishment to them.

 

My parents and in-laws are entertained by my kids because it doesn't feel so same old same old. They aren't familiar with the term unschooling though so we just say kids choose what they want to learn. My hubby is the most non-conformist among his siblings.

 

Gifted is a lot easier within my and hubby's extended family. My dad had many classmates in public school that are intellectually gifted. Dad thinks mom is gifted. My own country's gifted programme started in 1984 and there was a lot of social noise about it. So people don't think much about it. My hubby took the screening tests for the same gifted programme I got into (same age) so no issues with talking about gifted issues with hubby.

 

No one in my social and family circle care for the MG/HG/EG/PG label. Almost all my 38 ex-classmates from the gifted programme are on Facebook. If anyone's kids got accepted into a selective program, everyone would be happy for the children.

[chocolate-chip chooky]

Is it because the concept of unschooling is foreign to them or is it because it seems anti-establishment to them.

 

My parents and in-laws are entertained by my kids because it doesn't feel so same old same old. They aren't familiar with the term unschooling though so we just say kids choose what they want to learn. My hubby is the most non-conformist among his siblings.

 

Gifted is a lot easier within my and hubby's extended family. My dad had many classmates in public school that are intellectually gifted. Dad thinks mom is gifted. My own country's gifted programme started in 1984 and there was a lot of social noise about it. So people don't think much about it. My hubby took the screening tests for the same gifted programme I got into (same age) so no issues with talking about gifted issues with hubby.

 

No one in my social and family circle care for the MG/HG/EG/PG label. Almost all my 38 ex-classmates from the gifted programme are on Facebook. If anyone's kids got accepted into a selective program, everyone would be happy for the children.

 

My parents and MIL - it's not that they are unsupportive or critical. Not at all. It's more of an indifference, I guess. My best guess is that they just don't get it because any sort of homeschooling would be so, so far from their life experiences.

For all three of them, B&M schools were their existence for 60+ years, between their own schooling and then their careers. So, it's understandable that it seems so foreign for me to then homeschool our youngest daughter, particularly in such an unstructured kind of way.

 

But the hang-ups are clearly mine. I haven't even given the grandparents a chance to react to the two words. I don't use them, at least not out loud with them.

 

'Gifted' wasn't a thing when I was in primary or secondary school. There were no gifted classes, teachers, programs, schools etc. Nothing. I'd never even heard of it. This could be an Australia thing. It could be a 70s and 80s thing. It could be an Australian 70s and 80s thing. Or maybe it was going on around me and I was unaware. I really don't know, but I certainly had never had any experience with the concept up until a few years back. So, I'm still trying it on for fit, really.

 

It could be a cultural thing too. There's a definite Australian culture of supporting the underdog and cutting down the tall poppies - except in the sporting realm.

Miraca Gross's book has been an eye-opener, as her long study was done in Australia.

 

I just need to keep learning, keep plodding forwards and maybe one day I'll feel more comfortable with those two words. Maybe.

As long as I'm doing the best I can for my daughter, I guess it doesn't really matter what you call it.

[Korrale]

Gifted was not a term that existed when I was in school either. QLD in 80s and 90s. There was one teacher in my primary school that tried to create extension classes for math. And she did a pilot program for advanced students. But sadly it didn't take off. :( I was in the pilot class and I was in pull out classes for math. It was lots of problem solving fun stuff.

I am not even sure what they do for gifted in Australia schools now.

[Arcadia]

This Australian writeup on teacher education is interesting. Each state in Australia has its own policy.

 

"Pre-service teacher training in gifted and talented education: An Australian perspective"

http://ro.uow.edu.au/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1026&context=jseem

 

My parents were very confused when the gifted education programme started in Singapore. The parent information session wasn't useful at all other than meeting other confused parents :lol:

[eternalsummer]

 

It could be a cultural thing too. There's a definite Australian culture of supporting the underdog and cutting down the tall poppies - except in the sporting realm.

Miraca Gross's book has been an eye-opener, as her long study was done in Australia.

 

 

Ah yes, we have the cultural benefit in the US of not cutting down tall poppies, more so than most other places, I think.  It's the plus side of the kind of individualism we have here.

 

As far as unschooling, my mom is a librarian who works at a CC and has always been very pro-school.  We get a lot of push from pretty much all sides to find the kids a school, find a school!  How will they grow up to be normal people!  Etc.  

 

Unschooling (to the extent we do it, which is not huge) is actually the easiest bit for me to explain, as it isn't like I'm trying to subvert something that surely a school could do better, like regular math lessons. [eta: that our *relatives* think the school could do better - obviously I recognize that even math can be done well at home :)]

 

 It is in fact the best justification I have for homeschooling to people who want or need a justification - we're doing this so DS (or DD when we were homeschooling her) can pursue his real interests and inclinations and talents to the fullest extent possible.

 

Just doing Saxon math at home or something is a lot harder to explain to people who think the school environment is necessary to proper social development.

Edited April 8, 2016 by ananemone

[8filltheheart]

I would be thrilled that they are indifferent. Indifferent is a a huge step away from interfering hostility.

 

When I started homeschooling, no one in either of our families had ever heard of it before. My in laws were skeptical, but detached. My siblings, otoh, were quite vocal wit my older brothers constantly telling me I was destroying my kids. (I am the youngest by a lot in a large family, not quite the 21 yr spread between my oldest and youngest, but not far off.) Heck, I had a married ds who was already a successful chemE and one of my brothers still insisted my kids wouldn't be able to function in society.

 

I don't talk about homeschooling with most people. It is easier to make what we do as a definitive statement--we homeschool--and not leave the door cracked for further inquiries than to let them push open the door and start comparing. Inevitably, comparison doesn't work 1-to-1 bc what we do does not resemble a ps at all. My kids don't work, think, or act like ps kids. They don't function like ps kids. But, hey, when the get to college, they are pretty much straight A students, so the difference is obviously not a problem!

 

(But we are not unschoolers. We are just not school at homers.)

[chocolate-chip chooky]

This Australian writeup on teacher education is interesting. Each state in Australia has its own policy.

 

"Pre-service teacher training in gifted and talented education: An Australian perspective"

http://ro.uow.edu.au/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1026&context=jseem

 

My parents were very confused when the gifted education programme started in Singapore. The parent information session wasn't useful at all other than meeting other confused parents :lol:

 

Thanks for the article - very interesting reading indeed.

 

And it's true. I've got one degree and three diplomas all in different areas of education and between all of these there was a total of about 1 or 2 pages in one text book. No units, no lectures, no textbooks, no exams and therefore no knowledge and experience. And in the workplace there is a dismal lack of knowledge and experience and, in my experience, some very poor attitudes. It's worrying.

 

I only started my personal journey into learning about giftedness about a year ago, when I was googling some of my daughter's behaviours. My out-of-the-box thinker was ticking a lot of boxes, so I've read and read and read and learned as much as possible. I particularly like the writings of Linda SIlverman and Miraca Gross. I started to realise that my speedy learner maybe had a brain that processes things a bit differently and senses that may interpret the world that bit differently too.

 

It's been quite a year and I must say, I'm really glad I stumbled across this forum.

[quark]

I grew up the same way. Recently had a conversation with siblings and the one that remained in my native country had little in the way to be able to contribute because it is still the attitude there although some inroads are being made.

 

I agree with 8. Indifference is better than hostility. My parents really don't know what to say other than to ask if he is okay or what he ate that day. My MIL just trusts that we know what we are doing. I'll take that any day to the pain some people are experiencing from "concerned" relatives.

 

Of course, I would love to have a parent who is extremely supportive and able to make me think critically about my decisions with some choice questions...but that might be where we come in as grandparents in the future (IF our kids decide to homeschool/ unschool).

 

Something very interesting happened though when I spoke (on separate occasions) to one of my cousins and one of my uncles, both obviously, shall we say, different? (and kind of absent minded professorish too come to think of it). They were both schooled in my native country but pursued higher education in another country and both have very talented kids and grandkids (cousin is very much older than I am). We were talking after many years because on previous visits back, I never managed to see them both due to rushed schedules and so on. So we chatted and there was no double take, no raised eyebrows, nothing like that at all when I answered their questions about kiddo and his schooling. I felt so happy, like they really got why we are doing what we are doing although kiddo wasn't there and they couldn't see him do what he does. And when it was time to leave, (it's going to be a long time before I see them again), both told me when I was hugging them goodbye that they were so glad kiddo was able to do what he really wanted to do. I never thought anyone in my family would say that. My own parents like I said are mostly indifferent so this was indeed a gift.

[SparklyUnicorn]

LOL

 

funny

 

 

[Monica_in_Switzerland]

I dislike both because their over- and mis- use have almost entirely stripped them of meaning.

Edited April 8, 2016 by Monica_in_Switzerland

[Arcadia]

. So we chatted and there was no double take, no raised eyebrows, nothing like that at all when I answered their questions about kiddo and his schooling. I felt so happy, like they really got why we are doing what we are doing although kiddo wasn't there and they couldn't see him do what he does. And when it was time to leave, (it's going to be a long time before I see them again), both told me when I was hugging them goodbye that they were so glad kiddo was able to do what he really wanted to do. I never thought anyone in my family would say that.

 

:hurray:

 

My in-laws asked once if my kids would qualify for MIT :lol:  They only know a handful of US universities though so the question isn't as off as an American asking. 

[SparklyUnicorn]

Well I don't ever use the "g" word.  I dunno...I guess I don't think it matters much.  Especially not in a homeschool situation. 

 

 

[chocolate-chip chooky]

I would be thrilled that they are indifferent. Indifferent is a a huge step away from interfering hostility.

 

When I started homeschooling, no one in either of our families had ever heard of it before. My in laws were skeptical, but detached. My siblings, otoh, were quite vocal wit my older brothers constantly telling me I was destroying my kids. (I am the youngest by a lot in a large family, not quite the 21 yr spread between my oldest and youngest, but not far off.) Heck, I had a married ds who was already a successful chemE and one of my brothers still insisted my kids wouldn't be able to function in society.

 

I don't talk about homeschooling with most people. It is easier to make what we do as a definitive statement--we homeschool--and not leave the door cracked for further inquiries than to let them push open the door and start comparing. Inevitably, comparison doesn't work 1-to-1 bc what we do does not resemble a ps at all. My kids don't work, think, or act like ps kids. They don't function like ps kids. But, hey, when the get to college, they are pretty much straight A students, so the difference is obviously not a problem!

 

(But we are not unschoolers. We are just not school at homers.)

 

I absolutely agree.

I'm very fortunate that we experience no hostility, no interference and no criticism of any kind.

[chocolate-chip chooky]

I dislike both because their over- and mis- use have almost entirely stripped them of meaning.

 

I'm so early in my learning curve that I have little experience with overuse or misuse. The literature I've read (both books and online) certainly has a wide range of definitions and info.

I just try to learn as much as possible, hold on to the bits that seem relevant or helpful to our situation, and let the rest wash over me for now.

 

As Sparkly Unicorn said, as homeschoolers, the terms/labels themselves are probably not really necessary, at least at this point in time for us. I'm not trying to access programs, schools, classes etc. I just want to understand my daughter as best I can and provide the best environment possible. But these terms do keep coming up here and there and I just started pondering why I hesitate to use them.

[Arcadia]

But these terms do keep coming up here and there and I just started pondering why I hesitate to use them.

Because you are the immediate family member of your child, you might worry about coming across as bragging to use the term gifted.

 

My teachers, vision therapists, school psychologist, ophthalmologists and other support staff don't have the same hesitation because they aren't my relatives.

[chocolate-chip chooky]

Thanks Arcadia.

You're right. It's hard to say 'gifted' without it sounding like you think your child is better in some way. And it's not about being better, it's about having different brain wiring and experiencing the world in a different way. The challenges that come hand-in-hand with the positives probably aren't widely known or understood, either.

 

And re my parents and MIL, it wouldn't surprise me if they see this homeschooling thing as a phase. It's a five year 'phase' at this point .... mind you, my mum still offers me meat and I've been vegetarian for nearly 30 years. Now that's a decent 'phase' to be going through. :001_smile:     I'm sure she means well.