Kids health issues - how common of a homeschool reason is this?

[pinkmint]

Just thinking... because this past year we have had many doctor visits  for 2 of my kids and a few hospitalizations with my asthmatic toddler. And now my oldest's severe environmental allergy issues are starting to have us at the doctor at least twice weekly for shot therapy as well as dealing with recurrent infections. 

 

These medical needs are tame compared to some kids out there too. It's times like this that I can imagine how stressful regular school life would be, not only because of all the appointments but because of symptoms flaring up during school. 

 

I just wonder if and  how often health issues play into people's overall decision to homeschool, and whether or not it's a valid reason. It sure feels like it to me right now. Even though I know some out there will say a child's health conditions are no excuse not to do normal school.

[SparklyUnicorn]

Why does the reason for homeschooling make any difference?  I could care less if the biggest reason for homeschooling is one's desire to sleep in every day.  The thing that matters is outcome and what one puts into it IMO.  Not their reasons for doing it in the first place.

 

I

[Dmmetler]

I think it's more commonly a reason to do virtual school,but yes, it's a valid reason. My SIL, who was about as anti-homeschooling as you can get and thought we were going to really mess up DD by doing so, currently has one child doing virtual school due to severe migraines and cyclical vomiting. The poor kid was going to school for a couple of days, getting a migraine and ending up in the hospital on fluids due to dehydration. After she made it to less than a week of school total in the first grading period, her parents withdrew her for the virtual school. They're still struggling to keep her "on target", though.

 

FWIW, my DD's pediatrician has commented that if all her patients homeschooled, she'd have a much easier job-because she sees most of her homeschooled patients once a year for check ups, and, if they're on chronic medication, for medication checks and adjustments, but they just don't get sick.

 

[SparklyUnicorn]

I do know some who homeschool for severe allergies.  School policies are pretty stupid when it comes to that sort of thing.  For example, many schools don't allow a kid to carry their own epi pen or medications.  I would be very worried about my kid if he had life threatening reactions to common things and wasn't allowed to carry an epi pen.

 

 

[eternalsummer]

Why does the reason for homeschooling make any difference?  I could care less if the biggest reason for homeschooling is one's desire to sleep in every day.  The thing that matters is outcome and what one puts into it IMO.  Not their reasons for doing it in the first place.

 

I

 

Sleeping in every day is a huge selling point here.  We are just not really morning people.

[Loowit]

It is not the reason I homeschool, but it is a reason I am glad I homeschool.  Last fall youngest was having 3 to 4 appointments a week for different therapies, plus allergy shots, and other doctor appointments.  I am just not sure how he would be able to go to school somewhere with all of this disruption.  I am also wary of school outside of home due to my DS severe food allergies.  There has been a lot of controversy in our area over peanut/nut allergies in schools and I would be constantly worried that my DS would have a severe allergic reaction at school and they wouldn't deal with it properly. 

[SparklyUnicorn]

Sleeping in every day is a huge selling point here.  We are just not really morning people.

 

For years I've read discussions about reasons for homeschooling.  People going back and forth as to whether or not a reason was good enough.  Why would the reason matter at all?  Really it just hit me one day that there is no point to getting hung up on reasons.

[Spryte]

It's the reason we started homeschooling.

 

And, yes, I think it's valid. Why wouldn't it be?

[Spryte]

 

I do know some who homeschool for severe allergies. School policies are pretty stupid when it comes to that sort of thing. For example, many schools don't allow a kid to carry their own epi pen or medications. I would be very worried about my kid if he had life threatening reactions to common things and wasn't allowed to carry an epi pen.[/quote

 

 

That's it. That's why we started. And we're not the only ones.

 

I don't think we are less serious homeschoolers than others.

 

Really confused about why one reason would be valid and another would not.

Edited April 7, 2016 by Spryte

[Sk8ermaiden]

I'm with anyone who says pretty much any reason to homeschool is valid. As long as the kid gets a good education, who cares? We homeschool because I don't like what standardized testing has done to public schools, but if you offered my kid a full scholarship to the most perfect private school ever, we would still homeschool because we really, really like it. So if, "because we want to." is a reason...what wouldn't be?

 

Maybe homeschooling so you can indoctrinate your child into your racist neo-nazi beliefs..but even that's a valid reason - just a really terrible one. 

 

We know two kids homeschooled for health reasons. One with very severe food and environmental allergies, and one with an autoimmune disorder. 

[Arcadia]

My kids kindergarten teachers as well as teachers in other grades in public school are trained in the use of epipens. The teacher and the child has an epipen each. The campus is nut free. So kids with nuts allergies generally still go to school.

 

Attendence policy is lenient as long as a doctor's note is produced for chronic or frequent illness. The district's main funding is from property tax which was still high during the property downturn. They aren't bothered about absentee other than paperwork to cover truancy.

 

My ex-classmate battled leukemia while in public school. A friend's child who died recently from cancer chose to be in public school despite spending most of his time in hospital. The public school and community rally around her family at his passing.

 

Districts send teachers who do only home and hospital visits while kids are hospitalized or recuperating. I know someone who does that as a supplemental income.

 

It really depends on what the illness is and how helpful the school is.

[pinkmint]

Maybe I should have worded it differently. I am more interested in how often this plays into people's decision to homeschool. And yes I guess I am interested in how valid it is. Maybe I let unsupportive family members get to me and/ or I am insecure. 

 

[mommymonster]

I don't know that one "needs" a reason to homeschool. For us, though, medical issues definitely impacted our family. I don't know that we would have been in tune with the kids' needs if we hadn't had the wake-up call of a profound medical crisis in DS6. It was something that really just rocked the family and re-set our course as a family. 

[eternalsummer]

When I feel insecure b/c of unsupportive family members, I try to remind myself of two things:

1.  Rich people for ages have been homeschooled.  Often they were homeschooled by private tutors instead of their parents, but as it turns out I am an excellent tutor, so that is a wash.  If it was good enough for the British aristocracy, it's good enough for me.

2.  No one ever asks people who send their kids to public school to justify that decision; they treat it as the default.  However, just because it's free doesn't make it the best thing for every kid; if Jennifer down the street doesn't have to justify to me why she sends her kid to the local PS instead of quitting her job and homeschooling, I surely don't have to justify our homeschooling to her.

 

I have one in school (a public charter) and one homeschooled at the moment, so I get the worst of both worlds!  Or the best :)

[AK_Mom4]

DD14 started homeschooling in first grade due to medical issues.  Her medical problems were being treated, but she simply didn't have the stamina to attend school full day at that time.  We pulled her out towards the end of the year and never looked back.  We incorporated mandatory morning and afternoon quiet time into her school day and she usually napped for an hour or two.

 

We could have gone with the home-visit teacher, but frankly DD was sleeping most of the day and it was a waste of the teacher's time.  It was easier for everyone for us to pull her out and have me do the instruction during DD's best hours.  I was already HS'ing her next older brother at that time, so adding in one more wasn't a big deal.

 

As far as a "valid" reason.... sure it is.  I think there is a percentage of homeschoolers who get their start because of medical stuff getting complicated. You do what you need to do to that works best for your family.

[Spryte]

My kids kindergarten teachers as well as teachers in other grades in public school are trained in the use of epipens. The teacher and the child has an epipen each. The campus is nut free. So kids with nuts allergies generally still go to school.

 

Attendence policy is lenient as long as a doctor's note is produced for chronic or frequent illness. The district's main funding is from property tax which was still high during the property downturn. They aren't bothered about absentee other than paperwork to cover truancy.

 

My ex-classmate battled leukemia while in public school. A friend's child who died recently from cancer chose to be in public school despite spending most of his time in hospital. The public school and community rally around her family at his passing.

 

Districts send teachers who do only home and hospital visits while kids are hospitalized or recuperating. I know someone who does that as a supplemental income.

 

It really depends on what the illness is and how helpful the school is.

Yes, it depends on policy. As a child, I was very ill and the school district sent home bound instructors.

 

Our school district doesn't allow epipens in classrooms. They are locked in a cabinet in the locked nurse's office. Nurse's office is usually locked because it's a traveling nurse and she's only in th school 2 days a week. Limiting access to life saving meds made our choice!

[Arcadia]

Maybe I let unsupportive family members get to me and/ or I am insecure.

The thing with allergies is that there will be people who thinks that kids have allergies due to lack of exposure to the allergen. If family members are unsupportive, they are likely to blame every health issue your children face as homeschool induced.

 

My hubby had shrimp allergy as does his sister's kids. Does not stop my MIL from thinking that eating bits of shrimp would reduce the allergy and persuading her son and grandkids to eat. That idea is called oral immunotherapy, or OIT and did work for my dad's seafood allergy but we had ERs nearby.

[kentuckymom]

I know people who homeschool because they want better control over their child's potential exposure to life threatening allergens. I know another family that chose to homeschool for religious reasons, but ended up with multiple kids with medical issues and were thankful that they didn't have to work pulling kids out of school into the mix. I was kind of wishing we were homeschoolers when my son was seeing a GI specialist once a month an hour and a half away, but that only lasted for a year and we made it work.

 

I agree with the many who have said that any reason can be a valid reason for homeschooling. As long as you're actually teaching your child or hiring others to teach your child (and, yes, unschooling counts because you're still purposely cultivating a learning environment) as opposed to just letting your kid play hooky and calling it homeschooling, you can homeschool for any reason you choose.

 

People keep asking us why we've decided to homeschool Squirrelboy next year, and I can't come up with one all encompassing reason that everyone will accept as valid. We're homeschooling because we looked at the choices available to us and decided that was the best one at this particular time for this particular kid. 

[marbel]

I skimmed the replies, so I might be repeating what's been said.

 

We did not begin homeschooling for health reasons, but when one of my kids was sick for a long time, and then both kids started allergy shots, I was really glad we were homeschooling.   The ease of making appointments (not tied to school hours), not needing notes for school, being able to go home and crash after allergy testing or other procedures (related to 3-year mystery illness)... yeah. 

 

However I know that there are people with significant health problems who don't homeschool.  So, it's not a necessity, as far as I can tell.  Really depends on the family situation overall.  

[UCF612]

The number 1 reason for homeschooling when we started was because of my son's severe allergies.  You hear all day long about nut allergies.  People seem to get it if your kid has a nut allergy (although you can still meet a number of ignorant people or just plain jerks).  Well my son's worst allergy when he was 5 was dairy.  He was (still is) truly anaphylactic to dairy.  People did NOT get it. ( "Oh well he can have cheese?" NO.  "Oh well some butter." NO.  "It just gives him a tummy ache." NO NO NO.)   He is also allergic to nuts but they weren't our #1 biggest fear.  So initially we wanted to keep him home from Kindergarten.  He couldn't read to protect himself yet.  He would be with kids who probably wouldn't understand at all.  He would be in a room that potentially was going to use food for treats/math/parties/everything.  He couldn't participate in pizza parties.  Or ice cream socials.  Or cupcakes at birthdays.   And it was just going to be a constant reminder and slap in the face to him.  Combine that with the total fear I had that they wouldn't take proper care of him if he DID have a reaction.  We toured the public school.  His epi pen would have been with the nurse.  Not him, or the teacher or even in the lunchroom. Heck no was I going to invite that danger into our lives.  If I lost him I would have never been able to live with myself.  Not when I knew I could do just as good a job as the school.  I have a masters in early childhood so I could be a teacher myself.  Plus I also morbidly thought that if someday we did lose him, from allergies or whatever, I would want to know I spent as much time with him as possible.  So when we started homeschooling it was only going to be for Kindergarten.  But we ended up homeschooling for K and 1.  

 

Allergies are still in my top 5 reasons we homeschool, even now that he's older and can protect himself.  But it isn't the TOP reason anymore.  I have gotten more philosophical and educational reasons the more I've learned about homeschooling.  We did try school (private and small) for a year for 2nd grade.  His teacher was great and took great care of him.  I taught 2 classrooms away so I was always nearby.  He had a few "bullying" issues of people messing with his food or shoving cupcakes in his face.  One year was enough for us to realize homeschooling is definitely the way for us! 

Edited April 7, 2016 by UCF612

[eternalsummer]

The number 1 reason for homeschooling when we started was because of my son's severe allergies.  You hear all day long about nut allergies.  People seem to get it if your kid has a nut allergy (although you can still meet a number of ignorant people or just plain jerks).  Well my son's worst allergy when he was 5 was dairy.  He was (still is) truly anaphylactic to dairy.  People did NOT get it. ( "Oh well he can have cheese?" NO.  "Oh well some butter." NO.  "It just gives him a tummy ache." NO NO NO.)   He is also allergic to nuts but they weren't our #1 biggest fear.  So initially we wanted to keep him home from Kindergarten.  He couldn't read to protect himself yet.  He would be with kids who probably wouldn't understand at all.  He would be in a room that potentially was going to use food for treats/math/parties/everything.  He couldn't participate in pizza parties.  Or ice cream socials.  Or cupcakes at birthdays.   And it was just going to be a constant reminder and slap in the face to him.  Combine that with the total fear I had that they wouldn't take proper care of him if he DID have a reaction.  We toured the public school.  His epi pen would have been with the nurse.  Not him, or the teacher or even in the lunchroom. Heck no was I going to invite that danger into our lives.  If I lost him I would have never been able to live with myself.  Not when I knew I could do just as good a job as the school.  I have a masters in early childhood so I could be a teacher myself.  Plus I also morbidly thought that if someday we did lose him, from allergies or whatever, I would want to know I spent as much time with him as possible.  So when we started homeschooling it was only going to be for Kindergarten.  But we ended up homeschooling for K and 1.  

 

Allergies are still in my top 5 reasons we homeschool, even now that he's older and can protect himself.  But it isn't the TOP reason anymore.  I have gotten more philosophical and educational reasons the more I've learned about homeschooling.  We did try school (private and small) for a year for 2nd grade.  His teacher was great and took great care of him.  I taught 2 classrooms away so I was always nearby.  He had a few "bullying" issues of people messing with his food or shoving cupcakes in his face.  One year was enough for us to realize homeschooling is definitely the way for us! 

 

We're not allergic but we also don't eat any dairy, at all, ever, and it was a pain in PS.  Most of the kids were decent about it but some were not; mostly the teachers were accommodating but there was occasionally a substitute, or room mom, or librarian, or something, who either didn't know or didn't think it was important.  Plus, dairy is really in a lot more products than nuts, imo (especially these days), and often is hidden (to the layperson).

[ErinE]

My kids have been in public school for seven months. Not a single month has passed without someone in the family being severely sick. Thanksgiving week was fun: someone was violently ill from Monday to Sunday, every day except Wednesday. We've had respiratory distress, requiring breathing treatments at the local ER. Another round of norovirus. Random illnesses with fevers up to 102.5. Cold and fever over spring break. A round of staph and impetigo.

 

If I could, I would have the kids return to homeschooling tomorrow just to avoid the random illnesses brought home.

Edited April 7, 2016 by ErinE

[mamaofgirls]

I think the OP was just trying to ask/see if anyone homeschools because of medical issues (not if one reason or another is better!!). Come on people....

 

OP, I could see families with serious heath issues homeschooling - my reasons are not that, but if I didnt have those and DD had heath risks or issues at could be worse because of public school I would definitely home school.

[SparklyUnicorn]

Maybe I should have worded it differently. I am more interested in how often this plays into people's decision to homeschool. And yes I guess I am interested in how valid it is. Maybe I let unsupportive family members get to me and/ or I am insecure. 

 

What business is it of me to tell someone else if their reasons are valid?  KWIM?

I am not taking this in a super deep and serious way or trying to be pedantic, but honestly the reason is nobody's friggin business. 

[SparklyUnicorn]

I think the OP was just trying to ask/see if anyone homeschools because of medical issues (not if one reason or another is better!!). Come on people....

 

OP, I could see families with serious heath issues homeschooling - my reasons are not that, but if I didnt have those and DD had heath risks or issues at could be worse because of public school I would definitely home school.

 

No she really wanted to discuss validity of the reason.

 

She said so.

[Sk8ermaiden]

I think the OP was just trying to ask/see if anyone homeschools because of medical issues (not if one reason or another is better!!). Come on people....

 

OP, I could see families with serious heath issues homeschooling - my reasons are not that, but if I didnt have those and DD had heath risks or issues at could be worse because of public school I would definitely home school.

 

Yes, she was asking that. She even came back and clarified that she was, in fact, asking that. But that she was not asking it in a mean or judgmental way, but because she apparently gets a lot of flack from others about her own reasons/choices. 

 

 

ETA, sorry, Jinx. 

Edited April 7, 2016 by Sk8ermaiden

[eternalsummer]

It is hard when people challenge your homeschooling (or whatever other choices your family makes) not to take the challengers on their terms.  So they say, "X reason isn't a valid reason to homeschool.  Maybe if you did it for Y reason, but definitely not X."  And you start to think, "X is a perfectly valid reason!  How dare they challenge it!" and you compile a list of arguments in your head supporting the validity of X reason for homeschooling.

 

This gives the challenger the ability to define the terms of the argument.  In reality, you have to train yourself (I do, anyway) to question the premise *first* - I have to say to myself, "Wait, why does this person think they are in a position to judge the validity of any reasons for homeschooling, or even to demand that there must be a reason someone considers valid?"

 

I do this with a lot of things; it is not automatic but is becoming more so.

[City Mouse]

I agree that any reason is valid.

I do know of a family that started homeschooling due to severe food related allergies. Another family with a child who had pneumonia 3-4 time every year did not decide to start homeschooling due to medical concerns, but being at home instead of around other kids spreading germs has kept the child much healthier. She has only had pneumonia once in the past 2 yrs. I know of another family that keeps the older kids at home because a toddler sibling has issues with his immune system, and they can't risk the older kids bringing home every bug that goes through the school.

[Lecka]

I think it is valid. 

 

Think of all the dust that could happen to be kicked up on the playground on a random day, maybe a windy day.

 

If you as a parent would take your child indoors seeing that, then your child benefits by a huge amount. 

 

Kids learn better when they are healthy.

 

If you can better manage exposure to allergens, so that your child has more healthy days, then I think that is a pretty clear-cut benefit.

 

I think this is about the most sensible "clear positive" kind of reason to homeschool.

 

There are a lot of reasons where I think "well, that is personal opinion" or "how do you know that wouldn't be the same or better at public school." 

 

But when it comes to responding and planning around when your child should be outdoors, or taking advantage of times to be outdoors, then I think it is the kind of situation where it could really benefit a child to have individualized opportunities to be outdoors, and then also time indoors.

 

Health is just a foundation for other things!

 

I also think some allergies require a child to have a higher level of supervision, or they require other kids to notice and respond (by seeking help).  I think that gets reasonable for older kids, to be honest, but I don't think that is a reasonable expectation at all for young children. 

 

We have parts of our playground where a child could be missed for a long enough time to have distress from an allergy, and might not cry out or make a loud noise to draw attention.

 

I think it is very adequate supervision for my kids, but I think that some allergies just require much more, especially while kids are young.

 

Edit:  It shouldn't matter if I think it is valid, though.  I think that as parents, you decide what is best for your kids.  But there are reasons that I "privately" or "personally" may disagree with, while I can still think that it is valid for parents to decide using whatever reasoning makes sense to them.

 

If you were my friend and asking me for advice, it is something where I would say ---- if your child is sick often, there are times you remove your child b/c as a parent you see allergy stuff kicking in, there have been severe reactions in the past, etc., ---- as a friend, whose advice was asked, I would see a lot of reasons to homeschool.

 

But if nobody has asked my advice, then it is just not my business! 

 

And I think at a certain point ----- people want to homeschool, or they don't, and it does not really matter what the stated reasons are.  They just want to do it or not!  Any reason is fine!

 

Edited April 7, 2016 by Lecka

[LucyStoner]

Maybe I should have worded it differently. I am more interested in how often this plays into people's decision to homeschool. And yes I guess I am interested in how valid it is. Maybe I let unsupportive family members get to me and/ or I am insecure.

I know a lot of families who homeschool due to health concerns like allergies, compromised immune system or some other physical health issue.

 

I also know families who homeschool because they could not meet their child's healthcare or therapeutic needs and maintain appropriate attendance at school. There are times of my older son's life where his ASD related health care took 2 nearly full school days each week. That's not compatible with ft school enrollment.

[Seeking Squirrels]

I think any reason is valid, it's just down to each family to decide for themselves if the reason is strong enough *for them* to outweigh alternative options. A friend of mine was conflicted about the decision to homeschool. She finally laid out her reasons to do so which she decided were not enough *for her* to leave ps. For another family those same reasons may have been enough. Either choice is valid.

 

I know one family who chose to bring their child home to school for medical reasons.

[mamiof5]

Maybe I should have worded it differently. I am more interested in how often this plays into people's decision to homeschool. And yes I guess I am interested in how valid it is. Maybe I let unsupportive family members get to me and/ or I am insecure.

I might be wrong, but from comments not only in this thread but others as well, I have noticed you feel the NEED to validate your reasons for homeschooling. And I totally get it, it sounds like you don't have a strong family support and probably that makes you doubt your decision? I don't think you are insecure, it must be really hard to feel you are doing the right thing, when others out there are trying to convince you otherwise. Please stop doing that to yourself!!! Tune out the naysayers, the negative comments, tune it all out. Sounds like you have your children's best interest at heart, and that's all that should matter. I know it's easier said than done. Homeschooling is what works for your family, and you don't need to constantly try to find reasons to support your decision. Others might not agree, but good thing you are homeschooling your kids, not theirs :).

[Lolly]

Medical reasons started us homeschooling. A nurse suggested it to me. It isn't the reason we continued. It is most certainly a valid reason. I want to is a valid reason too.

[Anne in CA]

Our family has been mostly healthy, so we didn't home school for health reasons. But I knew several people who home schooled due to peanut allergies and other severe medical reasons. I mean, if your child can die due to someone else's thoughtless actions, it's just easier to keep them home.

[Anne in CA]

Although, one of the people that I knew who home schooled due to a peanut allergy had their child's kindergarten teacher deliberately fed all the kids peanut butter sandwiches because she didn't think they had eaten enough lunch. After all the parents in the class had been responsible enough to not send anything with peanuts, the kindergarten teacher fed them peanut butter. My coworker that this happened to felt that the teacher had tried to kill him deliberately. Whether or not the teacher was waiting to see what happened if he died (he spent several days touch and go and almost did die) or whether the teacher did not believe in the allergy and thought he would be fine, either way she felt the teacher was a murderer.

[Spryte]

Although, one of the people that I knew who home schooled due to a peanut allergy had their child's kindergarten teacher deliberately fed all the kids peanut butter sandwiches because she didn't think they had eaten enough lunch. After all the parents in the class had been responsible enough to not send anything with peanuts, the kindergarten teacher fed them peanut butter. My coworker that this happened to felt that the teacher had tried to kill him deliberately. Whether or not the teacher was waiting to see what happened if he died (he spent several days touch and go and almost did die) or whether the teacher did not believe in the allergy and thought he would be fine, either way she felt the teacher was a murderer.

Unbelievable. That someone could do such a thing is mind boggling!!!!

[mamiof5]

Medical reasons started us homeschooling. A nurse suggested it to me. It isn't the reason we continued. It is most certainly a valid reason. I want to is a valid reason too.

Sorry about health issues. But, lol about the second one. Because I want to. No further explanation needed :)

[Soror]

I can't think of anyone I know who hs's for medical reasons- although I did know a lady whose asthmatic son greatly improved after coming home. 

 

As to the second question- valid reason is not a phrase that even makes since to me in regards to hs'ing. You don't have to have any reason at all, as long as you educate your child according to your local laws it is absolutely no one's business unless they are your spouse or children. I wouldn't even engage in a conversation with anyone who framed hs'ing choice as one that needs a valid reason. (that being said I've heard some give me what I thought were pretty lame reasons for hs'ing but whatever- just because you want to seems good enough to me).

[Lang Syne Boardie]

 

 

As to the second question- valid reason is not a phrase that even makes since to me in regards to hs'ing. You don't have to have any reason at all, as long as you educate your child according to your local laws it is absolutely no one's business unless they are your spouse or children. I wouldn't even engage in a conversation with anyone who framed hs'ing choice as one that needs a valid reason. (that being said I've heard some give me what I thought were pretty lame reasons for hs'ing but whatever- just because you want to seems good enough to me).

 

I agree. When an option is neither illegal nor immoral, it's valid. "I want to" is valid, and that's not a snarky thing to say or a joke. Homeschooling is just another choice that people get to make for themselves, out here in the land of the free...

[mom@shiloh]

I do not homeschool for health reasons, but I often think how crazy it would be to try to keep up with "real" school with all of our various doctor appointments.  Absolutely a valid reason.

[displace]

I know one family who home schools for severe allergies. We do not but it has been much easier to make therapy and doctor appointments. I think it is a "legitimate" reason to homeschool.

 

I know no one needs a reason to homeschool. But, for some people, having a reason makes life easier. And for kids with medical concerns, homeschooling can be a great discovery to simplify life.

Edited April 8, 2016 by displace

[KungFuPanda]

I know a couple families whose kids are healthier because they homeschool. Catching fewer bugs or being able to stay home and fully recover from illnesses is a very big benefit for some families. When your kid's asthma and allergies are so bad that homeschooling means fewer hospital stays I don't think anyone can argue that a healthier child has more opportunities to learn.

[prairiewindmomma]

The kids' assigned schools had carpet in them. My kids are severely allergic to mold and dust, to the point of where my kids would have asthma attacks visiting family with carpet in their home.  So, we began homeschooling.  

 

It's a common enough reason.

[OneStepAtATime]

My very not interested in homeschooling whatsoever who lives in an area that does not support homeschooling MIL homeschooled one of her children for Middle School because of severe allergies to the Middle School.  She did not regret it and it was absolutely a valid reason.  There are a couple of families in our area that homeschool for health reasons, either the parent or the child.  Perfectly valid reason.  There may be more for whom this is a consideration but perhaps they just don't discuss it.

 

OP, since you have so little support for your choice to homeschool I don't know that coming up with valid reasons is going to help.  The more you argue reasons for your choices the more fodder you may be giving them to argue against it and make you feel bad.  

 

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:   It is hard to go it alone, without much/any emotional/physical support from family.

[brehon]

It is hard when people challenge your homeschooling (or whatever other choices your family makes) not to take the challengers on their terms. So they say, "X reason isn't a valid reason to homeschool. Maybe if you did it for Y reason, but definitely not X." And you start to think, "X is a perfectly valid reason! How dare they challenge it!" and you compile a list of arguments in your head supporting the validity of X reason for homeschooling.

 

This gives the challenger the ability to define the terms of the argument. In reality, you have to train yourself (I do, anyway) to question the premise *first* - I have to say to myself, "Wait, why does this person think they are in a position to judge the validity of any reasons for homeschooling, or even to demand that there must be a reason someone considers valid?"

 

I do this with a lot of things; it is not automatic but is becoming more so.

This is so true. OP, you don't need to convince anyone not in your immediate family (and just for clarity's sake that means anyone not your husband or kids) that homeschooling is valid.

 

You don't need to engage them at all. Don't try to reason or out argue people. Doing so tells them that your reasons for an action are up for debate. You owe no one justification for your actions, assuming they are legal and moral. I think you need to learn to "pass the bean dip". This is a phrase from our own Joanne which is code for "I'm not discussing [a decision] with you. Let it go." It is not about being a doormat; indeed, the philosophy behind the phrase says that you draw appropriate boundaries around yourself and your family. People who cannot or will not heed those boundaries don't get the full pleasure of you/your kids' company. This doesn't necessarily mean to cut ties, although that could happen; it just means that you refuse to engage in discussions with people (INCLUDING FAMILY) about whatever your decisions are, if those people can't be respectful of you.

 

With homeschooling you and your dh decide what works best for your kids. Your reasons don't really matter to anyone other than yourselves and you are under no obligation to share them, if you don't wish to do so.