if you have schooled your kids most or all of their schooling years...I have a question

[ProudGrandma]

what was the most difficult part of leaving your home school and attending college for your child(ren)?  What did you do to help them ease into that time in their life?

 

My oldest is a freshman this year...so I have time, but if I can help her (and her brothers) be better prepared for college by doing certain things here at home, I would love to know what that might be.  Thanks.

 

[regentrude]

Our situation may be a bit unique, because the most difficult part for my DD was entering an environment where she no longer is easily top of her class in everything, but is surrounded by extremely smart students and encounters people who are smarter than her. There was nothing in our homeschool we could have done to prepare her better for this: we homeschooled because she was not challenged in ps, and had her take classes at the local public university starting in 10th grade because she needed that level of challenge - but she still succeeded with ease, even among older students.

The crazy workload at her intense  school and the feeling no longer to be the exceptionally gifted student were probably the most difficult things for her. (ETA: but she is doing extremely well)

 

What certainly helped her ease the transition was being familiar with the demands and logistics of college from her high school years. She knew how to organize herself, how to study, how to work with textbooks and juggle assignments, how to communicate with instructors. So, if I had one single suggestion, it would be to give your student the opportunity to learn these "soft skills" while still living at home.

We are currently doing this with DS; he is taking his first college class and learns to keep track of assignments, check his university email, talk to professors, handle paperwork. We are there in the background to lend support if asked, but we let him muddle through on his own and figure things out.

Edited April 5, 2016 by regentrude

[amyx4]

They need to learn "classroom" and time management. So taking outside classes during high school is a good idea.

[HollyDay]

what was the most difficult part of leaving your home school and attending college for your child(ren)?  What did you do to help them ease into that time in their life?

 

My oldest is a freshman this year...so I have time, but if I can help her (and her brothers) be better prepared for college by doing certain things here at home, I would love to know what that might be.  Thanks.

 

My daughter transitioned pretty easily thanks so lots of good advice I was given when she was in 11th grade. 

1. deadlines.  In college there are no extensions given because (soccer game, best friend in town, stayed late at the youth conference, etc.)

2. do things the way the professor wants.  If prof wants a certain format, do that format.  If you need to show all work, show all work.

3. taking notes.  There is an art to taking notes.  It takes some practice.  We actually had dd take notes during the news.  Newcasts are fast but it is good practice.

4. ask for help.  Use writing labs, math labs, speech labs.  Ask the professor questions.  Don't get overwhelmed and try to "go it alone."  Colleges want you to succeed and have support available.

[klmama]

Homeschoolers tend to train our children to be independent, but that can backfire at times.  Students need to be willing and able to seek out help promptly when they have difficulties.  Make sure your dc practice asking for help now, both at home and with outside classes and activities. 

 

Note-taking from lectures.  Teaching Company/Great Courses lectures can be good for that, as can others.

 

Maintaining the organization of their own books, notebooks, other materials, and calendars.  It's especially important you teach that to and require it of any dc who are less organized on their own.    

 

 

[lllll]

nm

Edited April 20, 2016 by _ ?^..

[Miss Marple]

I don't think my boys had a difficult time transitioning.  I think their eyes were opened to the fact that there are some really smart kids out there and my boys were no longer the big fish in the little pond.  They also realized that they were quite ahead of many of their peers in basic life skills.  All my boys have taught their college buddies how to cook, grocery shop, and do laundry.  One mentioned a few weeks ago that none of his friends knew how to use tools or which tools were used for what purpose.

 

Probably the most difficult thing...they've all mentioned this...is that they hate group projects.  For some reason, the work always falls to them. They feel like they carry the whole group because they are concerned about getting good grades and the others don't seem so concerned.  I'm not sure how to fix that esp. since it seems that the groups are assigned.  Maybe the skill of managing and motivating others would have been helpful.

 

They have had a hard time not having their pets.  Son #3 decided to have fish in his dorm room...they are now on my kitchen bar :(  

 

My boys all attended our local university as concurrent students.  They each had 24 or more hours prior to beginning college.  Perhaps that helped them.  They knew how to take notes, read the syllabus, office hours (although they were reticent to go to those office hours), budgets, etc.  They missed home and they missed their brothers.  Sons #1 and #2 have graduated and still keep in contact with friends they made in college - so I think their social ability is fine.  I'm hoping 3 and 4 do the same.

 

I think each kid will have different challenges.  I'm not sure there is a lot a home school parent can do to take away those challenges.  Perhaps the best advice is to make sure your student has an open line of communication with you so that you can make suggestions when you see a gap.  Sometimes they don't know where to turn for help (as evidenced by my son being threatened by his roommate and he didn't know what to do)...and that's where I found myself most helpful.  I think we can give a huge amount of information to our kids (student health, the bookstore, office hours, advisers, etc.) but when it comes time to use that information, they often seem to have lost that bit of information.  So, as long as they will tell you the issues, you can remind them.

[Liza Q]

My girls adjusted to college life fairly easily. We rarely used an outside class and when we did it was asynchronous and fairly relaxed. But they lived at home for college so it wasn't as big an adjustment as most.

 

They also had part-time jobs at least a year before starting college so they were accustomed to answering to other adults, being somewhere on time (their shifts usually started at 6am!), and managing their schoolwork around their work hours.

 

Another thing that helped was their ability to get everywhere they wanted/needed to on the bus/subway (we live in Brooklyn). They were very independent in that way by the time they were 16-17 and that made it easier for us to treat them more as young adults even while they were still in high school.

Edited April 5, 2016 by Liza Q

[Lori D.]

The two most help "prep" things for living away at college for our DSs:

- summer camps

Each summer of high school, DSs attended a 1-week summer camp for a program they really were interested in, that took place at an out-of-town university campus. So they had a week of practice each summer of living in a dorm, navigating the campus, how to use their key cards to swipe for meals, etc. And of course, practice of just being away from home and family.

 

- dual enrollment

One class per semester for both semesters of the senior year. That was super helpful for practice for college level classroom skills, study skills, test-taking skills. Also getting to the free tutoring ASAP if not understanding something. And it really prepared them for administrative aspects of college -- how to navigate the college website and your "my student page", which is where all of a student's administrative, financial, and signing up for class info is accessed. Also access to the student's class info and syllabi, and how to upload papers and access the "blackboard" function.

 

 

As previous posters have mentioned these also are good things to slowly fold into your schedule over the 4 years of high school:

- keyboarding (fluent with touch-typing, as all papers for college are typed)

- computer skills (making simple graphs and charts, and power-point or other slideshow presentation -- several college classes required these for presentations)

- study skills (classroom skills, memorization techniques, note taking from lectures and from texts, how to read/study from a textbook, test-taking skills)

 

 

Basic life skills for living/navigating on their own when at a far-away college

- driving skills and getting a license -- if possible, your police dept. or other group may offer a class in dealing with ice, skids, tire blow-out, etc.

- how to use public transportation

- how to do laundry

- how to clean a bathroom and your (dorm) room

- basic cooking (esp. how to cook with a microwave, hot plate, or hot pot to stretch your food options at college)

Edited April 5, 2016 by Lori D.

[OnMyOwn]

Things that have been recommended to me were: timed tests, meeting deadlines and taking notes.

[Lolly]

Mine have transitioned very easily to college. The number one issue has been dealing with stupid teachers. Most of their teachers have been excellent, but you always get that one who is just ridiculous. Group projects have been another one. They didn't realize that group project usually meant that one student did 98% of the work. Then there is just the being away from home aspect. Leaving a place you like to be is never easy.

[AngieW in Texas]

The biggest issue my kids had was remembering to put their names on their papers.

 

My kids all took dual credit classes at the cc during 11th and 12th grades, so they got nice introductions to college life.

 

They really didn't have any issues transitioning.

[JumpedIntoTheDeepEndFirst]

My daughter is a high school senior this year but in her junior year she realized how differently she responded to courses from outside providers and courses with mom.  As a result she requested as many online courses as possible senior year to help her transition to a world without parent led work.  I think that has definitely helped. (as a side note-DE isn't really an option in our location but I would encourage a DE classroom experience as part of high school)

[G5052]

Mine did/are doing a fair amount of dual enrollment and online classes with deadlines, and I think that was key. They know how to ask for help and manage deadlines.

 

Scheduling has been a little tougher to learn, but my oldest has also juggled two surgeries and four months of PT during his first year of college. Getting to class and appointments on time when you have traffic, keeping the vehicle gassed up, remembering to bring your calculator to calculus, etc. was hard at first.

 

I wish that we had done driver's ed earlier than we did because my oldest got his license just six weeks before college started, and he's commuting from home. He still felt a little uneasy on the road and getting around to things. We'll do that earlier with the next one so they have more practice.

 

Mine haven't been able to have part-time jobs because of vehicle issues, but I wish that we had been able to do that. We're getting another vehicle though, and my oldest will be working this summer.

Edited April 6, 2016 by G5052

[charlotteb]

DS started as a full time college freshman this year.  His biggest struggle has been managing his own time.  He did several dual credit classes in high school at the community college, but I still scheduled when he would do his college homework into our day.  Having to figure out a schedule on his own has been difficult for him, especially since he also has a part time job now. He has struggled to be creative in finding time to complete his homework.  Now in his second semester, he is doing better. But that first semester was hard!  So my advice would be to let your kids work out their own schedule in high school and plan their own time instead of doing it for them. 

[allinthefamily]

In my daughter's junior year of high school, she did online dual enrollment courses. She thought she would have been happy just doing online college forever; however, I made her dual enroll her senior year by going on campus at a local college. Getting out of the car was SO hard for her. Going from homeschooling to online to on campus was a wonderful way for us to transition. This is her second year going on campus and she is thriving. She joined a couple of clubs and has friends that she never thought she would have. She did have a hard time trying not to learn everything on her own and asking her professors if she had a question. She was so used to figuring out things for herself. She has always been an excellent student so her transition wasn't painful. I found this article College Professor Critiques Home Schoolers to have good advice. http://www.thsc.org/2009/08/college-professor-critiques-home-schoolers/

[dhudson]

My ds had some outside classes which helped his transition. His senior year I had him take college level work, had hard deadlines and made him responsible for his work, so the actual workload and academics of college have been fine. However, my ds has struggled with when to eat. He lost 15 lbs in the first semester, which on his 160lb, 6'4 frame was far too much to lose. He also started getting stomach issues which I think we're caused by stress, not eating and the cafeteria serving much different food than we serve at home. He is an introvert so the lack of alone time in a dorm was a bit problematic as well.

 

However, we got him on aloe juice and good belly daily and helped him look at his days to figure out when he could eat. I send him healthy snacks every month or so as well. Not sure I could have prepared him for that but maybe all kids have some sort of learning curve in college.

[MerryAtHope]

I think all the writing was the hardest. 

 

Writing to take notes, homework assignments, essay tests, papers...it's just a lot of writing. I don't think it will be quite as hard for my 2nd, because writing comes easier to her. 

 

Things I did that helped:

 

Taught note-taking (and modeled and discussed how to improve) from texts

encouraged (but didn't require) note-taking from sermons

worked on sentence and paragraph structure, grammar and editing, and various essay styles.

speech

 

Things I didn't do that might have helped:

 

more note-taking from oral sources (my college son suggested in retrospect reading aloud and note-taking from that)

practice essay tests (something I wanted to get to but didn't with my writer who struggled greatly)

I'm not sure I could have with this particular student, but with my next I'll ramp up the length more in the senior year.

 

Other things I did that helped with the transition, outside of writing:

 

Throughout all the years of high school, we worked hard on study skills--how to effectively study for a test, how to decide what's important to study, etc...

Involved my kids in planning their schedule/routine

Meta-cognition talks (thinking about how you think, how you work, how you study--what helps, what doesn't help etc...)

encouraged them to take responsibility for their daily schedule

Gave practice with a syllabus-style course (here are the tests and project due-dates, complete with how the grade will be docked for late work, student has to decide how to break up the work)--when original plan didn't work, the student had to come up with a new one and show it to me.

Incorporate basic life skills (food prep, laundry, organizational skills in home and of school work)

lots of discussion about the varying dynamics

being available to walk alongside as needed during that first year (especially if your student will be living at home)

 

Edited April 6, 2016 by MerryAtHope

[Pegasus]

DD took a single dual enrollment course her sophomore year, three dual enrollment courses her junior year, and 6 dual enrollment courses her senior year.  By the time she graduated high school and enrolled as a college student, there was no transitioning needed. 

[SkateLeft]

My oldest daughter, who was always homeschooled, had no issues with transitioning to college life. 

 

In fact, she noticed that many of the kids who came from traditional schools really struggled with functioning outside of the controlled environments to which they'd been accustomed. She felt that they were so used to having their time and education micromanaged by others that adjusting to the freedom of college life was much harder for them. In contrast, she'd been managing her own time and education through high school, especially since she was dual enrolled at the community college full-time in 11th and 12th, so going off to university just felt like an extension of what she'd been doing at home.

 

She did have to navigate some roommate issues that would have been challenging to anyone, regardless of how they were schooled. Her freshman year roommate made lots of poor choices and tried to overdose on sleeping pills. Since then, she's insisted on being in apartments where she has her own room.

 

Edited April 7, 2016 by ghostwheel

[FaithManor]

To be honest, for both of my collegians, it was group projects. Not the prospect of doing group work since they'd had these experiences through our 4-H STEM club, but working with, ahem....unmotivated students, and navigating that mess. Or as my current college freshman said last year of an end of semester group assignment that was worth 50% of the final grade, "I was assigned the leader of four other people one of whom is motivated and will do the work and try hard, the other three being dingle berries who will tank my grade because they are lazy and scatterbrained. Therefore I will do 75% of the work, the other teammate will do 25%, and three will coast along on our shirt tails because I'm not destroying my GPA over these people." And he was a very unhappy young man about it, but it was what it was.

 

I knew how he felt. I had an oral communications "group project" way back in the day and the other three girls were literally do-do heads whom I could not believe managed to be admitted to my school! Seriously, they did not work, they did not try, and they talked like they were still in middle school. Sigh....so I did all the work, and they received A's in the class because of it. GRRRR.....

 

So, prep your student ahead of time. I didn't properly prep DD and in a moment of frustration during her freshman year went OFF on a classmate which might have been technically deserved, but isn't a good thing as we all have to face this in future employment and volunteer situations.

[clementine]

There is one month left of dd's freshman year - the transition was very smooth for her.

 

Give her a well-rounded education & fill in any holes as she gets into her later high school years.  Let her know the importance of GPA and those big test scores.

 

I agree to note-taking, time-management, deadlines, essay tests, and good writing skills (think 3-5 page papers).  

 

If possible take advantage of at least one dual-enrollment class or outsource a class with an outside teacher.  

 

Make sure (at least for her senior year) she knows how to do laundry, wakes up to her own alarm, and get her a credit card/checking account.  

 

Have her communicate by herself with outside teachers, that is a valuable skill.   Mom won't be able to do it for them at college.  

 

Savor these years, they go fast!!!  

 

 

[Laurel-in-CA]

I have to say there was a lot of this stuff my ds did not cooperate with. He would NOT get up on time at home....but he's NEVER missed a college class because of oversleeping. Apparently, mom's requirements were not "real." But when it was real, he made it. Deadlines for homework were treated exactly the same way -- not real and not respected at home, real and respected at college. Once he realized that you could go talk to profs, he really took advantage of that. And he found that he also needed a couple of PE classes every semester to help him wear off some of his energy and let him sit still & concentrate in more academic classes. Another important thing for him was finding friends to study with. I have told my kids, if they make even one friend in each class, they'll be rich by the time they graduate (all of them are introverts). They've really enjoyed the larger social pool, even tho' they find it a bit of a challenge.

 

All my kids have worked p/t Friday - Sunday while in school and done a lot of commuting. That makes it difficult to join clubs, but study groups have been good. My son found a bunch of people who all liked to nap up in the student lounge and they became good buddies.

[Miss Mousie]

I think all the writing was the hardest. 

 

Writing to take notes, homework assignments, essay tests, papers...it's just a lot of writing. I don't think it will be quite as hard for my 2nd, because writing comes easier to her. 

 

Things I did that helped:

 

Taught note-taking (and modeled and discussed how to improve) from texts

encouraged (but didn't require) note-taking from sermons

worked on sentence and paragraph structure, grammar and editing, and various essay styles.

speech

 

Things I didn't do that might have helped:

 

more note-taking from oral sources (my college son suggested in retrospect reading aloud and note-taking from that)

practice essay tests (something I wanted to get to but didn't with my writer who struggled greatly)

I'm not sure I could have with this particular student, but with my next I'll ramp up the length more in the senior year.

 

Other things I did that helped with the transition, outside of writing:

 

Throughout all the years of high school, we worked hard on study skills--how to effectively study for a test, how to decide what's important to study, etc...

Involved my kids in planning their schedule/routine

Meta-cognition talks (thinking about how you think, how you work, how you study--what helps, what doesn't help etc...)

encouraged them to take responsibility for their daily schedule

Gave practice with a syllabus-style course (here are the tests and project due-dates, complete with how the grade will be docked for late work, student has to decide how to break up the work)--when original plan didn't work, the student had to come up with a new one and show it to me.

Incorporate basic life skills (food prep, laundry, organizational skills in home and of school work)

lots of discussion about the varying dynamics

being available to walk alongside as needed during that first year (especially if your student will be living at home)

 

Would you mind expanding on the bolded bits, please?  I'm particularly interested in how you approached these things and what resources, if any, you used to help. 

 

Regarding the last bolded bit - I'm not sure what that means.  Can you explain?

 

I really appreciated this nuts-and-bolts post.  Very helpful!

[Beth in Mint Hill]

I've been amazed at how similar our experience has been to many of the posters here! I can almost say simply "ditto to everything Miss Marple said. Especially the first two paragraphs below. The only thing one of my sons complained about in college was the "group projects" because he seemed to end up having to do most of the work, since the others weren't very diligent at all. 

 

I don't think my boys had a difficult time transitioning.  I think their eyes were opened to the fact that there are some really smart kids out there and my boys were no longer the big fish in the little pond.  They also realized that they were quite ahead of many of their peers in basic life skills.  All my boys have taught their college buddies how to cook, grocery shop, and do laundry.  One mentioned a few weeks ago that none of his friends knew how to use tools or which tools were used for what purpose.

 

Probably the most difficult thing...they've all mentioned this...is that they hate group projects.  For some reason, the work always falls to them. They feel like they carry the whole group because they are concerned about getting good grades and the others don't seem so concerned.  I'm not sure how to fix that esp. since it seems that the groups are assigned.  Maybe the skill of managing and motivating others would have been helpful.

 

 

I have also noticed lately that there are so many college kids who have been kept totally busy in the school system (or in academics as homeschoolers) and never had any work experience, or never had to take responsibility for either laundry or cooking! This is one area that our boys found to be quite a benefit to them when they were in college, because the skills learned in working for spending money and taking care of themselves gave them great advantages over those who had done nothing but study or be in school through grade 12.

[MerryAtHope]

Would you mind expanding on the bolded bits, please?  I'm particularly interested in how you approached these things and what resources, if any, you used to help. 

 

Regarding the last bolded bit - I'm not sure what that means.  Can you explain?

 

I really appreciated this nuts-and-bolts post.  Very helpful!

 

For us, we didn't use a lot of outside sources. We learned as we went through various materials.

 

how to study: I did use the Superstar Student videos from Great Courses. Mainly we looked at study methods throughout high school (and some in junior high). I had my kids take T-Notes (like Cornell Notes) on their history reading. When they included things that were not really important but missed important things, I went through and showed them how I would take notes. I allowed them to use their notes for tests sometimes, or sometimes I told them they could earn points back on a poor test if the answer was in their notes. This encouraged them to take good notes and to learn effective methods and effective choices of what to include. 

 

We used Apologia Science, and those had a study guide--so we talked through how to use a study guide, and how to study for that type of test. 

 

Meta-cognition--this was an ongoing discussion throughout all of our school years--I would ask questions about what helped them work effectively, what distracted them, what kind of work environment they needed etc...  We would experiment and try different things. We talked about note-taking methods and study methods (alone or with someone, linear notes or visual/graphic types, small chunks or big chunks, time of day, location, with or without music, etc...)

 

discussions of varying dynamics: Hm... I think I meant the varying dynamics between homeschool and going to school, differences in expectations, deadlines, time management...things like that. 

[Miss Mousie]

 

For us, we didn't use a lot of outside sources. We learned as we went through various materials.

 

how to study: I did use the Superstar Student videos from Great Courses. Mainly we looked at study methods throughout high school (and some in junior high). I had my kids take T-Notes (like Cornell Notes) on their history reading. When they included things that were not really important but missed important things, I went through and showed them how I would take notes. I allowed them to use their notes for tests sometimes, or sometimes I told them they could earn points back on a poor test if the answer was in their notes. This encouraged them to take good notes and to learn effective methods and effective choices of what to include. 

 

We used Apologia Science, and those had a study guide--so we talked through how to use a study guide, and how to study for that type of test. 

 

Meta-cognition--this was an ongoing discussion throughout all of our school years--I would ask questions about what helped them work effectively, what distracted them, what kind of work environment they needed etc...  We would experiment and try different things. We talked about note-taking methods and study methods (alone or with someone, linear notes or visual/graphic types, small chunks or big chunks, time of day, location, with or without music, etc...)

 

discussions of varying dynamics: Hm... I think I meant the varying dynamics between homeschool and going to school, differences in expectations, deadlines, time management...things like that. 

 

 

This is so helpful!  Thank you.

 

I like the idea of points for having good notes.  I hadn't thought of that.  We do all the other study stuff, but so far little seems to have taken root.  Sigh.  I'll keep trying.

 

And meta-cognition ... well, if I could get an answer other than "I don't know," I think we might start making progress.  ;)

 

 

 

[MerryAtHope]

And meta-cognition ... well, if I could get an answer other than "I don't know," I think we might start making progress.  ;)

 

Sometimes I send mine to go think about it. "Okay. Go think about it for 10 minutes, and come back when you have some ideas." They usually don't want to think about it and that will bring forth some answers.

 

Another thing I've done is to give suggestions about different work environments and approaches etc... They may not always have a strong preference (or they may be able to more easily identify things they DON'T like than things they do!)