housemouse Posted April 2, 2016 Share Posted April 2, 2016 My sister is getting married later this year. We do not have a sisterly relationship- few phone calls a year if I am that lucky and that is only because my mother makes her do it. I have been invited, sort of, I think- by the ways of I am getting married- this is the day (all verbal and no official wedding invitation) and my brother emailing me a link for the wedding page with hotel information (not my sister who is getting married). We do not plan to go but it would be nice send something as a gift. The question is what to send - she has been with her boyfriend, now fiancée for almost 5 years, they just bought a house (sold previous house) so their housekeeping is all set up and have good jobs with very good pay, take vacations every year, travel when they feel like. She is not doing a wedding registry and no one is hinting is the direction of what they would like. All this is foreign territory for me and the fact that we do not have any kind of family relationship makes it that much harder. What does one give someone for a wedding gift in this situation? Thank you in advance for any suggestion. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MEmama Posted April 2, 2016 Share Posted April 2, 2016 Can you contribute to their honeymoon if they are taking one? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted April 2, 2016 Share Posted April 2, 2016 Monogrammed towels are always nice. A crystal bowl. Wine glasses. A frame for their wedding picture. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MercyA Posted April 2, 2016 Share Posted April 2, 2016 A gourmet food or wine basket. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MEmama Posted April 2, 2016 Share Posted April 2, 2016 I forgot...when my sister (with whom I also have no relationship) got married, DH and I gave them a fully stocked picnic basket. I'm sure she was non-plussed, but we loved it. :). It was fun filling it with pretty linens and special dishes/utensils. We thought it was very romantic. :) 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ErinE Posted April 2, 2016 Share Posted April 2, 2016 (edited) A gourmet food or wine basket. This. I had a wedding registry, because DH and I were new college graduates and owned nothing. An older couple who've set up household together? I'd purchase a nice, consumable gift. ETA: I wouldn't give permanent gifts like towels or bowls, because some people have particular tastes when it comes to that. I have relatives that constantly give towels as gifts for my family. Inevitably, those nice, colored towels are used to clean up something that requires hot water and bleach to sanitize. It sounds ungracious, but I wish sometimes I could refuse them. Edited April 2, 2016 by ErinE 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted April 2, 2016 Share Posted April 2, 2016 I would send a photo album with a handwritten note on the inside cover and an 8x10 wedding photo frame, something nice in silver or pewter or white as these go best with a variety of decor. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sherry in OH Posted April 2, 2016 Share Posted April 2, 2016 I would give something consumable, a gift card, or cash. If giving a gift card check with your brother or other relative closer to your sister to be sure it is to a store or restaurant she frequents. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alessandra Posted April 2, 2016 Share Posted April 2, 2016 I would ask. She may be not into 'things' at all or she may have decided now is the time to buy silver. Impossible to guess, so asking seems ok to me, since it is family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AK_Mom4 Posted April 2, 2016 Share Posted April 2, 2016 I would send a check in a card with a nice message wishing happiness for the new couple. Money always seems to be an appreciated gift. If you want to send something more concrete, then I agree with the others - send a nice consumable gift. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justasque Posted April 2, 2016 Share Posted April 2, 2016 (edited) Typically my family pools their money for a situation like this. We are able to get something the recipient can really use. Last time, six families went in together to give the couple a weekend getaway. Edited April 2, 2016 by justasque Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted April 2, 2016 Share Posted April 2, 2016 I would send a gift box from Penzies spices. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JFSinIL Posted April 3, 2016 Share Posted April 3, 2016 A nice neutral photo frame that would go with any decor. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted April 3, 2016 Share Posted April 3, 2016 I wouldn't overthink it. Pick out something lovely, send and don't worry. I would be inclined toward something crystal or nice pottery. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mergath Posted April 3, 2016 Share Posted April 3, 2016 If you can't think of a specific gift, just give cash. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted April 3, 2016 Share Posted April 3, 2016 My sister is getting married later this year. We do not have a sisterly relationship- few phone calls a year if I am that lucky and that is only because my mother makes her do it. I have been invited, sort of, I think- by the ways of I am getting married- this is the day (all verbal and no official wedding invitation) and my brother emailing me a link for the wedding page with hotel information (not my sister who is getting married). We do not plan to go but it would be nice send something as a gift. The question is what to send - she has been with her boyfriend, now fiancée for almost 5 years, they just bought a house (sold previous house) so their housekeeping is all set up and have good jobs with very good pay, take vacations every year, travel when they feel like. She is not doing a wedding registry and no one is hinting is the direction of what they would like. All this is foreign territory for me and the fact that we do not have any kind of family relationship makes it that much harder. What does one give someone for a wedding gift in this situation? Thank you in advance for any suggestion. Go to a store that is national--nicer stores like Macy's or Dillards, less pricey stores like Target--and buy something pretty for her dining table, like a crystal gravy or sauce boat. Send that to her with a gift receipt, so that she can exchange it if she wants to. That they have been living together for years and have good jobs and all that is irrelevant. You are giving them something that you took time to shop for, because you love her (even though you don't feel as if you have a sisterly relationship; sometimes good manners puts on a happy face and goes with the moment). 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danestress Posted April 3, 2016 Share Posted April 3, 2016 I would give her something unique. If you live in a place where there are local galleries, I might look for a nice piece of blown glass or local pottery. There is something about being sisters (even not close sisters) that calls for something a bit special - I can't see sending a sister a box of food goodies for her wedding. But I usually have luck when I hit the local craft scene. I did that for a cousin who I don't feel super close to and who has the best of everything already. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lawyer&Mom Posted April 3, 2016 Share Posted April 3, 2016 Cake stand. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TechWife Posted April 3, 2016 Share Posted April 3, 2016 A nice gift basket with some food items - check out A Southern Season. Another idea would be a gift certificate to a restaurant in their area. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
klmama Posted April 3, 2016 Share Posted April 3, 2016 The ideas here are great! I have a similar wedding coming up soon and wondered the same thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
magnificent_baby Posted April 3, 2016 Share Posted April 3, 2016 If I was only invited in passing by word of mouth, while others got invitations/link to the wedding page, I would not send more than a nice card wishing them well, at most. (But FWIW, my feelings get hurt easily on these types of things). Since it sounds like you do want to send something, I think money is always appreciated to help them recoup what they've spent on the wedding. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HomeAgain Posted April 3, 2016 Share Posted April 3, 2016 I give 'forgots' at weddings like this. Though they may feel established, giving something handy but completely overlooked is a best bet. One of our best purchases was the odd car equipment - a portable tire inflator, stand alone jumping cables...so that if ever stranded, we could take care of things enough. And they've both come in handy often, especially here where only a few stations have air hoses and fewer that work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alicia64 Posted April 3, 2016 Share Posted April 3, 2016 I love the idea of contributing to their honeymoon. Give an excursion if they're taking a cruise. Or spa time in a fancy spa in or near her hotel -- in fact, a couples massage would be cool. If that's too intimate, maybe buy a really nice dinner out at the honeymoon location. I'm not close w/ my sister either. Alley Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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