Who all do you call Mom?

[Scarlett]

Poll.  Self explanatory.

[Rosie_0801]

My parents called their mother in laws 'Mum.' I've never heard anyone in my generation do so.

[Tenaj]

I call both mother and my mil by the name "mom". It took me a while to call her anything but it's natural now.

[AnnE-girl]

Only my mom is "Mom." I somewhat awkwardly call MIL by her first name. My mom called my dad's mom "Mom," as did the rest of my dad's siblings' spouses. My dad calls mom's mom by her first name. My paternal grandfather died when my dad was a teenager, and he became very close to my mom's dad, but he still called him by his first name.

 

Edited to add that DH calls my parents by their first names as well.

Edited April 2, 2016 by AnnE-girl

[mumto2]

My mom is my mom. I just couldn't call my mil mom. I used her first name, dh calls my mom by her first name.

[Tsuga]

My bio mom is also the mom who raised me. She's my only "mom". But I have had godmothers and mentors and a "house mother" (not a sorority, but a woman renting rooms to students). I never called them "mom".

 

Edit: My ex-h called my mom "mom". I think it freaked her out a little. I call my MIL by her first name.

Edited April 2, 2016 by Tsuga

[Guest]

My stepmom is her first name to me, my mil is her first name to me as well, and my mom is 'mom' . She'd probably be more than a little hurt if I called anyone else by that title, to be honest.

Edited April 2, 2016 by Arctic Mama

[gardenmom5]

I call my mil by her first name.  (her own kids do about half the time.)

dsil calls me mom.

Edited April 2, 2016 by gardenmom5

[Joker]

Just my mom. I could see me using it with my MIL if we lived closer and I saw her more often.

 

I have friends that call my mom Mama <her first name>. I have no problem with that.

 

I don't refer to my mom's husband as my step father. My one and only dad is gone and it feels wrong to me to refer to my mom's husband as a dad to me in any way.

 

I think I would be fine with my dds calling their future MILs mom.

[desertflower]

I call my mom and mil mom.  My mil treats/loves me like her own daughter. 

 

The same for my dh. 

 

Godmother and anyone else I've know for decades are called aunts. 

[Junie]

I called my MIL "Mom LastName".

[rocassie]

My mom is my mom, everyone else goes by first name, "aunt", or "grandma" and that's it.  With my kids they refer to each grandparent by Grandma/Grandpa "first name."  The truth is that my kids don't see any of the blood grandparents as regularly as the honorary ones (my BFF's parents), and I know my MIL would be very hurt if my kids had special names for honorary grandparents but not her (FIL passed before we had kids.)  So we keep it simple and distinctive so that kids know who we are referring.

[meena]

I've never been able to bring myself to call my MIL "Mom," even though it was a huge source of contention in our relationship. She doesn't understand how strongly I feel that my Mom is one of a kind in my life. Also, I feel that Mom or Dad should be reserved for parents who love me unconditionally, and unfortunately my in-laws don't.

[Crimson Wife]

MIL got her knickers in a twist when DH and I first got married that I didn't want to call her "Mom [first name]". Sorry, I have a mom already and MIL has a daughter. I was caught off-guard by the request because it wasn't what I'd ever heard anyone do growing up. Everyone I knew called their IL's by either their first names or Mr./Mrs. Last Initial (e.g. "Mrs. J." if the MIL's surname was Jones).

[Rosie_0801]

What sticks in my craw is in-laws who want you to act like their kid. As though you are their 12 yo, when you are in your 20's or 30's. Uh, no. I'm a grown up myself and have been for a while now. :ack2: That was a source of contention. :ack2:

[Shellydon]

Uh, my mom.  I didn't know you could call anyone else that.

[hornblower]

This is a huge cultural thing. There are cultures where when you marry, you take on the whole family & your spouse's parents become your second set of parents. 
Dh & I don't do it but I know a number of people who do & it's not uncommon in my family of origin. 

[Forget-Me-Not]

I started off calling my MIL and FIL mom and dad, but it made me so uncomfortable, I gradually reverted back to their first names.  My MIL will call and refer to herself as "mom lastname", which is fine.  

[BigMamaBird]

No, I only call my Mom, Mom.  My MIL pressured me to call her Mom, but I just can't do it.  I love my Mom and it just doesn't feel right to call anyone else that.

[Tanaqui]

I call my mother Mommy. I call my cat Mama. This is in no way confusing to anybody.

[TechWife]

Just my mom! I only visited my mother-in-law twice, sadly she died when we had been married for about nine months. We didn't know each other long enough to have a pattern. The other daughters-in-law called her by her first name, if I recall correctly. It's been 22 years and I don't really remember. 

[kewb]

Just my mom. It would be too weird to call my mil mom. She is not my mom.

[Seasider]

I don't refer to my mom's husband as my step father. My one and only dad is gone and it feels wrong to me to refer to my mom's husband as a dad to me in any way.

I feel the same way. I was grown with teens of my own when they married, so he's never been a grandfather figure to my children, either.

 

My mil "invited" me to call her mom, but I just couldn't do it. If my dh called my mother mom, she'd give him a look like Shirley MacLaine in Terms of Endearment when her grandkids tried to call her grandma.

Edited April 2, 2016 by Seasider

[Renthead Mommy]

My mom is 'Mom', my step mother (from age 8 -21 when my dad died) is Ma. Not sure how we came to Ma from Mom way back then. 

 

My best friend's mother is Ma also.  Not because of my Step mother, or to set her apart from my mother, but because that was what her kids always called her and it would be weird if I called her Mom when they called her Ma.   My son calls her Grandma Davis. 

 

As for 'Dad', my mom's third husband, the current step dad we just call by his first name.  But I was almost 30 when they got married.  But I introduce them as 'my parents'.  Just easier than my mom and her husband or stepfather. 

 

Her second husband, from junior high through college, we tried not to refer to at all.  He's dead and gone for the last 25 years, but for the last about 19 ish years, we have just referred to him as Voldemort.  It sums things up well.

[Tap]

I have only called my bio-mom mom.  

 

But, my dd's boyfriend called me mom or ma, and most of his friends did too.  I read your other post, so I understand where this is coming from, but honestly, (in my situation with him) he said many, many times, that I was more of a mom to him that his own bio-mom.  I was more of a mentor, but I also mothered him a bit, so I understand where it was coming from.  He had a loving family, but they didn't mother/father him the way he needed.  He was a very sensitive kid who made some bad decisions. His family was full of people who yelled, screamed an belittled him for his numerous mistakes. He figured out when he was young, that no matter what he was going to get yelled at, so he decided he may as well have some fun and deserve the yelling (hence his mistakes).  They didn't guide him and help him and give him boundaries.... they expected him to be someone he wasn't capable of being.  He wasn't nurtured at home, so he got nurtured within a firm set of boundaries, at our house.  That is why he called me mom. When people assumed he was my son, I didn't correct them.  If they asked I would just say "he isn't my son, but I would be proud if he was". 

 

Many of his friends just enjoyed being spoiled a little in our house.  Just silly little things like food/drinks magically showing up on the table when they were playing games, or telling them that they could eat as many muffins as they wanted because I could always just make more.  Most of his friends were quite poor, so that didn't really happen at their own homes. They liked coming over and getting spoiled a bit by 'mom'.  

 

 

Edited April 2, 2016 by Tap

[Carpe]

I don't even call my mother mom anymore. She's just grandma to everyone now lol

[Guest]

 

My parents called their mother in laws 'Mum.' I've never heard anyone in my generation do so.

 

 

It's more common than "Mom" in Great Britain.

 

I had a Mum. She was a dear friend first and my boyfriend's mother after she introduced me to her son.

 

We didn't lose touch, she passed away in '12 after a long and happy life.

 

My MILs were Betty and Kathy.

[KrissiK]

I call both my mom and my mother-in-law "Mom".

[Guest]

This is a huge cultural thing. There are cultures where when you marry, you take on the whole family & your spouse's parents become your second set of parents.

Dh & I don't do it but I know a number of people who do & it's not uncommon in my family of origin.

Good point! I can think of a few families I've known who were like that. Italian, Greek, etc.

[LisaKinVA]

I think my MIL would have liked it if I called her that, but she was always touching me and my hair.  I don't like being petted (and I was nearly 30!), I never felt comfortable around her like that.  Not a chance I would ever call her that after ds was born.

 

OTOH, I *have* been called "mom" by other people (kids I've coached, for example).  Sometimes half-jokingly, other times with an additional adjective (Coach Mom, AHG Mom, Camp Mom, Chef Mom).  I don't mind that at all.  I have also felt "mom" feelings for kids in my care.  I don't think I'd mind if one of my children's SO called me "Mom" in the future, either.  I just never had anyone I felt like that about in my life other than my own mother.

[LisaKinVA]

I think my MIL would have liked it if I called her that, but she was always touching me and my hair.  I don't like being petted (and I was nearly 30!), I never felt comfortable around her like that.  Not a chance I would ever call her that after ds was born.

 

OTOH, I *have* been called "mom" by other people (kids I've coached, for example).  Sometimes half-jokingly, other times with an additional adjective (Coach Mom, AHG Mom, Camp Mom, Chef Mom).  I don't mind that at all.  I have also felt "mom" feelings for kids in my care.  I don't think I'd mind if one of my children's SO called me "Mom" in the future, either.  I just never had anyone I felt like that about in my life other than my own mother.

[Pink and Green Mom]

I call my inlaws "Mom and Dad" and my husband calls my parents "Mom and Dad."  It feels a little weird.  If I am talking to DH or one of his siblings I say "your mom said...." instead of "mom said...." 

 

My DH is the oldest of 4, and his family is pretty conservative and old fashioned.  When we got married his parents said something to the effect of "we would love it if you called us mom and dad."  I am the only one who does.  The next two siblings' spouses call them by their first name (which I know they don't like, MIL told me), and the last one calls them Mil and Fil (for mother in law and father in law).  The first time I heard it I kept thinking "who the hell is Phil?"

[Chris in VA]

I call my mom "Mom."

 

I felt a little awkward calling my mil "mom," so I hypenated her first name and mom--she's Mom-Joy. It's so sweet--I'm the only one who calls her just that, and it speaks to the fact that she is like a mom to me, but also a sister in Christ--a friend. She always knows it's me when I call.

 

My daughter-in-law calls me Mom. She is Russian/Ukrainian, so when she calls her own mother Mom, it's in a different language! I felt privileged to have her ask to call me mom.

 

Her mom lives with my ds and her (over to help with the baby until May). Ds calls her Mom--that was weird, but it's ok now. She is a lovely woman, and acting as my son's mom while I can't!

 

My husband calls my parents Mom and Dad. His dad is deceased. He calls his stepdad, Pop. So my dad is the only "dad" he has. I don't mind sharing.

[bettyandbob]

I call my mother "mom." I call in-laws by their first names. My grandmother wanted everyone to call her "grandma" so dh called her that while she was alive. However other in-laws called her by her first name.

[creekland]

My mom is mom, my MIL is mama (the same thing hubby calls his mom).  I've never had any problem with using those terms.

 

When I introduce myself to kids at school as Mrs. ______, I tell them they can call me whatever they want and as long as it's not "idiot" or "moron" or similar, we'll get along just fine.  Some (lovingly) choose to call me mom.  I'm honored.

 

ETA Hubby calls my mom, "Mom" too.  She loves him like a son.  I guess when we married we just assumed we were entering each other's family and never even contemplated using other names.

Edited April 2, 2016 by creekland

[Night Elf]

I call my MIL mom a lot. She's never really stated a preference but I heard one of my SIL's call her mom so I assumed that was what we were supposed to call her. She's never said anything about it. I'll admit I haven't gotten totally comfortable with it, simply because I don't really know what she thinks about it. And I've been married 20 years so it's a bit late to be asking now.

[Scarlett]

So far 80% of the poll only call their the woman who raised them mom.

[Wheres Toto]

The only person I call Mom is my mother.  I avoided the issue with MIL the first year we were married and then referred to her as "Granny -----" after ds was born.  So, I kind of avoided the whole thing.  :laugh:

If I need to get her attention, I do call her by her first name.

 

My oldest calls one of her very close friends mother "mom" or "momma". This friend will also call me "mom" or "momma". They've been friends since they were pretty little and I don't think it's uncommon in her generation, or at least among her group of friends.  She's had a few boyfriends that have called me "mom" as well, sometimes from the first time we meet.   Doesn't bother me but I find it a little odd.

[Guest]

No. I never call anyone Mom but my mom. I call my MIL by her first name, though I probably would have called her "Mrs. C" if there hadn't been precident sent by other SILs.

[happypamama]

I call my own mother Mom, and I call my MIL Mom as well. (But I've been a fixture in their family since I was fourteen, so I pretty much grew up with them. Calling them by their first names would feel awkward to me. I only use their first names when I refer to them to clarify to the children which set of grandparents is coming to visit.)

 

ETA: I have heard my brother's wife call both my parents and her parents Mom and Dad.  And I have heard my DH's sister's husband (so, not technically my BIL but close enough -- we're the only two kids-in-law there) call my ILs Mom and Dad as well. 

Edited April 2, 2016 by happypamama

[MercyA]

My mother-in-law is not my mom, and my father-in-law is not my dad. It would be just too weird to call them by those names. Only my mom is Mom, and only my dad is Daddy. When I was first married, I avoided calling my in-laws anything. I now very comfortably call them by their first names, and my husband does the same for my parents.

 

It's a bit awkward when talking to my brother- and sister-in-laws. Like a previous poster, I'll often say, "your mom..."

 

I am the only daughter-in-law who doesn't call my in-laws Mom and Dad. I think it probably bothers my mother-in-law a little, but she's never said anything. After 20 years, she'll sometimes still call and say, "This is Mom" and then correct herself to say, "First name-Mom." I think she still signs her cards to me, "Mom." They are super nice people and we get along fine--they're just not my parents, you know?

[Daria]

I said that the only person I call mom is my mother, the woman who gave birth to me and raised me.  

 

My son calls me mom, and refers to the woman who gave birth to him as "Mama (firstname)".  She has passed away so he doesn't exactly "call her" anything.  

 

When my son was very tiny, I might have said things like "Come to mom" or "Don't put that in your mouth, give it to mommy", but I stopped that a long time ago when he mastered pronouns.  I've said similar things to other people's toddlers e.g. "Give this to mommy".   I didn't count that as calling myself "mom", but maybe I should have.

 

Where I live there are cultural groups who often use "Mama" or "Little Mama" as a nickname for a girl who is a lot like her mother.  

[SKL]

I don't have a mother-in-law, but if I did, I'd probably do like my parents and call her "ma."

 

My kids sometimes refer to their birth moms as "my mom" with or without some qualifier.  Of course they call me "mom" too.

[SKL]

My kids' nanny often called them "mama."  I don't understand that, but whatever.  (She is from Honduras, must be a cultural thing.)  It used to bug me since I was still working on getting them to call *me* mama, for quite a while after I took custody.  Anyway, I know that's a side issue.  :P  Little confused over here.  :P

[barnwife]

Both of my parents called their inlaws "mom" and "dad." So it's obviously what seems normal to me.

However, it just feels so awkward in practice. So I try to avoid calling them anything to their face (does that even make sense?). In emails/Christmas cards/written things, I do use "mom" and "dad" for them.

[luuknam]

My MIL sometimes gets 'mom', and my host mom in Thailand when I was an exchange student also got 'mom' (always), though we're out-of-touch now.

[PrincessMommy]

I also call my MIL "mom". 

 

It's been a bit of a mix as far as what my daughter/son in law call me.  My SIL was not comfortable calling me "mom"  which is perfectly fine.  But he doesn't seem comfortable calling me by my first name either.  :confused1: :lol:   So, he doesn't call me anything, which I think is pretty funny, actually, to watch him skirt around calling me by any descriptors/names. 

 

My daughter in law made a *thing* out of not calling me "mom" or my dh "dad" until after she was married to my son.  Before that it was always Mrs last name.   I'm not sure if it is a cultural thing (she's Chinese American) or just her personal choice.  Anyway, she calls me mom now.  I'm still getting used to it.

 

I have no idea why I've quoted myself !?!

Edited April 2, 2016 by PrincessMommy

[happi duck]

This poll makes me feel better!

 

My sibs all call their in-laws mom and dad. My in-laws are/were called mom and dad by everyone but me.

 

I have felt a little guilty but there's no way I would ever call someone else 'mom'.

 

I makes me glad to see that calling mils 'mom' is not as universal as my experience makes it seem.

[texasmama]

I only ever called my mother "mom".  She is deceased.  My SIL calls our MIL "mom", but her own mother died when she was 20 and she is an only child so she does not have much family left.  I don't anticipate ever calling anyone "mom" again.

[MeghansMom]

My bonus kids call me Mom. My husband and I had custody of them since they were preschoolers and custody of my son. My son calls his bonus dad, Dad. Their mother is borderline and a narcissist, clinically diagnosed. They were homeless-my spouse and their children- while she lived with her boyfriend who became her second husband (she is now on her third). My ex lives in California and has a "new" family and has nothing to do with his son, never has. At one point, my son visited him in California and at first would call her MommaFirstName. I had no problem with it. The more healthy adults that love and care for my child, the better for him. I wanted them to have an excellent relationship. I would love to have a mother figure other than my mother and I would call her Mom. If my daughter felt close enough to a friend of mine to call her  mom, I would not have a problem with that either. Healthy love multiplies!