Tammyla Posted April 1, 2016 Share Posted April 1, 2016 (((Ellen))) cont. prayers this morning. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted April 1, 2016 Share Posted April 1, 2016 I am so sorry to hear all that your family is going through. Does he have a diagnosis? It's really difficult in the beginning stages of diagnosis and treatment. Until K is stable on the right meds, the roller coaster of ups and downs will continue. Once he is on the right meds you will all find more peace. Of course adjustments may still be needed, but the right meds will bring stability back to your entire family. My close friend is extremely religious and her oldest child, born a girl and now 24, is now a boy. During the transitioning stages and coming out, this poor person was distraught, depressed and suicidal. She is an atheist through and through. Just a few months ago he posted on FB about being the happiest person he has ever been, coming out was a freeing experience, no more secrets and lies, he is happy, secure and confident. While I never dreamed this would happen, I am so happy it has. I have watched this wonderful person struggle for so long and to see him so happy now makes my heart sing. All this to say that your son is still young and in the stage of life which is difficult as he tries to find his way in this world. I have seen many young adults struggle during this time and around age 24/25 they have a better understanding of who they are, where they fit, and have the peace and confidence which comes with it. It may be rough until then, but I am so thankful K has supportive, loving parents who have his back no matter what. Bravo to you two. Be very child deserves that. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorthwestMom Posted April 1, 2016 Share Posted April 1, 2016 I am still thinking of you, dirty ethel. :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amy in NH Posted April 1, 2016 Share Posted April 1, 2016 I am so sorry to hear all that your family is going through. Does he have a diagnosis? It's really difficult in the beginning stages of diagnosis and treatment. Until K is stable on the right meds, the roller coaster of ups and downs will continue. Once he is on the right meds you will all find more peace. Of course adjustments may still be needed, but the right meds will bring stability back to your entire family. My close friend is extremely religious and her oldest child, born a girl and now 24, is now a boy. During the transitioning stages and coming out, this poor person was distraught, depressed and suicidal. She is an atheist through and through. Just a few months ago he posted on FB about being the happiest person he has ever been, coming out was a freeing experience, no more secrets and lies, he is happy, secure and confident. While I never dreamed this would happen, I am so happy it has. I have watched this wonderful person struggle for so long and to see him so happy now makes my heart sing. All this to say that your son is still young and in the stage of life which is difficult as he tries to find his way in this world. I have seen many young adults struggle during this time and around age 24/25 they have a better understanding of who they are, where they fit, and have the peace and confidence which comes with it. It may be rough until then, but I am so thankful K has supportive, loving parents who have his back no matter what. Bravo to you two. Be very child deserves that. I think in many cases like the one you describe, it is the person's acceptance of themself that is the sticking point. Add in the question of how they fit into the world and it can just be overwhelming. I think what Ellen is describing is true mental illness, though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vera Posted April 1, 2016 Share Posted April 1, 2016 I am so sorry Ellen. I hope that getting K home will help. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-rap Posted April 1, 2016 Share Posted April 1, 2016 I am so sorry. Praying for your family. :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prairiewindmomma Posted April 1, 2016 Share Posted April 1, 2016 Praying for you, your dh, and them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MercyA Posted April 1, 2016 Share Posted April 1, 2016 I have prayed, Ellen. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Mousie Posted April 1, 2016 Share Posted April 1, 2016 I hope today brings you some answers, some help for K, and some hope and reassurance for you and your DH. I can't say it any better than this. Wishing peace for all of you, Ellen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suzanne115 Posted April 1, 2016 Share Posted April 1, 2016 Praying for you and your family. Suzanne Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MomsintheGarden Posted April 2, 2016 Share Posted April 2, 2016 I am so sorry, Ellen. Your family has been in my thoughts and prayers today and will continue to be. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted April 2, 2016 Share Posted April 2, 2016 I'm so sorry, Ellen. Praying for K and for you and your family. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hornblower Posted April 2, 2016 Share Posted April 2, 2016 Thinking of you, Ellen. Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hornblower Posted April 2, 2016 Share Posted April 2, 2016 (edited) dp Edited April 6, 2016 by hornblower Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ScoutTN Posted April 2, 2016 Share Posted April 2, 2016 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Continuing to pray for you, K and all concerned. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dirty ethel rackham Posted April 4, 2016 Author Share Posted April 4, 2016 Just thought I'd update here about K's situation. K came home last Thursday evening. They are pretty traumatized and basically want to escape. Unbeknownst to us, they had planned to go stay with a friend in another state to "get over their anxiety and recover from trauma." Well, that's not gonna fly. We don't know this person at all, but we do know that K will not have access to good mental health care while they are there. Since I am the one who put the kibosh on that, I am the bad guy right now. On Friday, K called their therapist and psychiatrist to inform them of what had happened. Dh was able to talk to each of them as well to let them know of anything that K omitted or gave a less-than-accurate account of. All of them recommended that we take K to our local mental health center for an evaluation. We were hoping that they would not recommend hospitalization because I knew K would not agree to that and would then distrust their opinion. They instead recommended entering an intensive outpatient program (daily 8:30-3:30). K said that they would think about that. I think they still held out hope that we would agree to the escape plan. Right now, K can hardly get out of bed and only comes out of the room to eat, shower or use the restroom. I did ask K to walk the dog today and they managed to do a short walk. But then escaped back to their room. I feel like we are walking a very fine line. We are trying very hard to not burn any bridges with them ... to preserve the relationship and build some trust because that is the one thing we have going for us right now. If we push too hard, they may choose to bolt and then we would not hear from them again. I am afraid to go to sleep at night. K is naturally a night own and wakes often at night. Please pray that K agrees to this outpatient program. They need the intensive therapy and I need a break from the constant worry and fear of leaving the house. 17 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnnE-girl Posted April 5, 2016 Share Posted April 5, 2016 Praying for K, and for you and your whole family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anne in CA Posted April 5, 2016 Share Posted April 5, 2016 Still praying for you and your family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted April 5, 2016 Share Posted April 5, 2016 :grouphug: :grouphug: Sending you all some hugs and well wishes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eliz Posted April 5, 2016 Share Posted April 5, 2016 Still praying for you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corraleno Posted April 5, 2016 Share Posted April 5, 2016 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Many hugs for you and K and your whole family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lilaclady Posted April 5, 2016 Share Posted April 5, 2016 Many hugs for you and your family during this time. Prayers for peace and break through. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hornblower Posted April 5, 2016 Share Posted April 5, 2016 Thank you for updating. I hope it will all work out & K will undertake the outpatient treatment & you will find a moment of peace. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frances Posted April 5, 2016 Share Posted April 5, 2016 Thinking of all of you during this difficult time. I hope K embraces the program being offered, and you can all find some peace soon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StaceyinLA Posted April 5, 2016 Share Posted April 5, 2016 Prayers for you and the situation as a whole. I hope an agreeable solution for all can be found. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laurie4b Posted April 5, 2016 Share Posted April 5, 2016 Just thought I'd update here about K's situation. K came home last Thursday evening. They are pretty traumatized and basically want to escape. Unbeknownst to us, they had planned to go stay with a friend in another state to "get over their anxiety and recover from trauma." Well, that's not gonna fly. We don't know this person at all, but we do know that K will not have access to good mental health care while they are there. Since I am the one who put the kibosh on that, I am the bad guy right now. On Friday, K called their therapist and psychiatrist to inform them of what had happened. Dh was able to talk to each of them as well to let them know of anything that K omitted or gave a less-than-accurate account of. All of them recommended that we take K to our local mental health center for an evaluation. We were hoping that they would not recommend hospitalization because I knew K would not agree to that and would then distrust their opinion. They instead recommended entering an intensive outpatient program (daily 8:30-3:30). K said that they would think about that. I think they still held out hope that we would agree to the escape plan. Right now, K can hardly get out of bed and only comes out of the room to eat, shower or use the restroom. I did ask K to walk the dog today and they managed to do a short walk. But then escaped back to their room. I feel like we are walking a very fine line. We are trying very hard to not burn any bridges with them ... to preserve the relationship and build some trust because that is the one thing we have going for us right now. If we push too hard, they may choose to bolt and then we would not hear from them again. I am afraid to go to sleep at night. K is naturally a night own and wakes often at night. Please pray that K agrees to this outpatient program. They need the intensive therapy and I need a break from the constant worry and fear of leaving the house. So sorry. Just now seeing this. Praying now. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie Laurie Posted April 5, 2016 Share Posted April 5, 2016 I too have a young adult struggling with mental illness and it's frightening and heartbreaking. I will pray that K agrees to the outpatient program. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happi duck Posted April 5, 2016 Share Posted April 5, 2016 (Hugs) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-rap Posted April 5, 2016 Share Posted April 5, 2016 Praying that everything lines up just right so that he will accept help and be helped! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fraidycat Posted April 5, 2016 Share Posted April 5, 2016 :grouphug: :grouphug: I hope K agrees to the program. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
klmama Posted April 5, 2016 Share Posted April 5, 2016 Praying for K and for all of you. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pawz4me Posted April 5, 2016 Share Posted April 5, 2016 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creekland Posted April 5, 2016 Share Posted April 5, 2016 Praying for you (all). Thanks for the update. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted April 5, 2016 Share Posted April 5, 2016 Praying hard. K sounds a lot like my ex, who also started having break downs in college. He did "escape" and it didn't do him any favors as it established a pattern of blaming external circumstances for internal issues. That said, to give you hope, my ex is now happily married to a lovely girl, and although he is on disability it's for medical reasons, not mental health reasons. He's not a danger to himself or anything any longer. The hardest years were those college years, by far. I think there is just stuff happening in the brain that magnifies the issues at that age. He continued to have issues, but never as bad. But I'm praying hard. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ScoutTN Posted April 5, 2016 Share Posted April 5, 2016 Praying that K will do the outpatient program! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heatherwith4 Posted April 5, 2016 Share Posted April 5, 2016 Praying for K to go to the program. And praying for peace for your family. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caroline Posted April 5, 2016 Share Posted April 5, 2016 Praying for you, Ellen, and K and your family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NicksMama-Zack's Mama Too Posted April 5, 2016 Share Posted April 5, 2016 Thinking of you and your family. Sending good thoughts and virtual hugs your way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted April 5, 2016 Share Posted April 5, 2016 Continuing in prayer for you and K. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TechWife Posted April 5, 2016 Share Posted April 5, 2016 he is on disability it's for medical reasons, not mental health reasons. Mental health is a medical issue. Those on disability with a psychiatric diagnosis are medically disabled. OP, I hope K will get the help he needs. Many hugs to you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted April 5, 2016 Share Posted April 5, 2016 Mental health is a medical issue. Those on disability with a psychiatric diagnosis are medically disabled. OP, I hope K will get the help he needs. Many hugs to you. Oh, I didn't mean to say they aren't. I was just trying to clarify that the mental health issues were not the reason he was on disability. He has cardiomyopathy and kidney disease that he developed years later, and that's why he is on disability. Before that he was working and living independently, and maintaining fairly well on a combination of antidepressants/antianxiety meds. Finding the right one took a long time, and there are other issues at play, but it did get better as he got older. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted April 5, 2016 Share Posted April 5, 2016 Praying more, DER. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lakeside Posted April 5, 2016 Share Posted April 5, 2016 Continued prayers for you and your family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Mousie Posted April 5, 2016 Share Posted April 5, 2016 Thank you for the update, Ellen. There are positives in there; try not to lose sight of them. I hope K accepts the treatment recommendation and finds some help and relief. I also hope you have your own source of help and relief. Take care of yourself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Junie Posted April 5, 2016 Share Posted April 5, 2016 Hugs and Prayers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daria Posted April 5, 2016 Share Posted April 5, 2016 Thinking of you and K. I hope they accept treatment and find that it works. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dirty ethel rackham Posted April 5, 2016 Author Share Posted April 5, 2016 K did agree to let me take them to see their old therapist in the city. We'll be leaving shortly. She might be able to convince K to enter the program. Sent from my SM-G900T using Tapatalk 24 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nan in Mass Posted April 5, 2016 Share Posted April 5, 2016 (edited) Hugs. Thank you for telling us. Eta I so know that hands tied problem. You can,t help if they don,t trust you and you can,t help because they trust you. Trust is so easy to lose. You thread your way carefully down a very thin boarderline. Try to keep breathing. Hugs. Edited April 5, 2016 by Nan in Mass 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom25girls Posted April 5, 2016 Share Posted April 5, 2016 Just reading this now. Sending prayers for all of you and all who help guide you at this time. Hugs...Prayers...I wish that I knew the combination of words that would bring you some degree of peace and comfort. Deep breaths...and praying. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aggieamy Posted April 5, 2016 Share Posted April 5, 2016 Prayers. I don't understand the use of "they" and "them". Would your husband have gone with K to the escape house? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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