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Would you take your friend up on offer to use her house or would that be weird?

Ottakee

By Ottakee,
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Ottakee

Ottakee

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Posted (edited)

Situation:  a close friend of mine and her whole family are going out of town for 9 days over spring break.  We are having her dog here for that time.  We will either have her daughter's horse here (or if 2nd horse doesn't sell this week I will be going to the grandparents house twice a day to do chores).

 

Dh and I have 5 teens here at home and very little quiet/alone time.  I have arranged for a respite person to come Saturday from about 10-6 to be with our 5 (some special needs, 2 in foster care, etc so can't be home alone).  Friend offered her house for dh and I to "get away" alone...........just bring your own sheets :-) :lol:  OK, I am not comfortable with THAT level of using her house (although she seriously would NOT mind at all..........she has 6 teens herself)............but........what about dh and I just crashing at her house for a few hours......relaxing in their living room, maybe watching a movie there, etc.  We would not eat their food, make a mess, etc.  but is this still weird?

 

I would love to get away overnight but with our current family make up that just isn't going to happen for months or more.  The idea though of cuddling on a couch ALL ALONE and watching a movie, napping, etc. for a few hours does sound really appealing.  It wouldn't be the whole time but the weather is looking yucky (43, rain and high winds).... so walking the beach, going for a hike, etc. doesn't look promising.

Edited by Ottakee
  • Like 2
lllll

lllll

Posted
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I would do it.  We house sat for a neighbor's cat and he let us use his house, too.  It was nice.  Just be sure to leave it in the same shape you found it.  Or maybe a little better.

  • Like 6
Eagle

Eagle

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Posted

I would ask myself if you would make the same offer to this friend -- have her and her husband use your house for a few hours while you and your family are away. I'm not saying you need to reciprocate, just ask what your comfort level would be in that situation. If you think "of course that would be fine", then definitely take her up on the offer. It sounds like she is a close friend, so she would probably be happy to know that she could help you get a few hours of together time. Enjoy!

  • Like 4
Andani

Andani

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She is a true friend who knows how to see your need and do all she can to meet it. Let her! I think you should enjoy your time off and leave a thank you card for her.

  • Like 6
Anne

Anne

Posted
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I think you have a good friendship - what you're doing for her is huge!

 

You and your dh do great work with your kids - God has provided with you a terrific "mini-vacation" opportunity - I say Take It!!

 

I would totally do this - and fwiw, I would give some thought to taking my own sheets also! No need to ever discuss whether or not you did or did not..... :-)

 

Anne

  • Like 8
KungFuPanda

KungFuPanda

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Go. Take the night off. Caregiver fatigue is REAL. Take a blanket and fool around in front of the TV. Or just sleep through a movie, but take the chance to get out and don't worry about weirdness.

  • Like 1
Ottakee

Ottakee

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I would ask myself if you would make the same offer to this friend -- have her and her husband use your house for a few hours while you and your family are away. I'm not saying you need to reciprocate, just ask what your comfort level would be in that situation. If you think "of course that would be fine", then definitely take her up on the offer. 

 

 

We would certainly offer.  Our house is not as nice/quiet/private as theirs is even if we were all gone, but I would certainly be fine with them at our house.  We would leave it just like we found it.  Just have to have her make sure to let the neighbors know that we will be "in and out checking the house" while they are gone......so that we don't get the police called to see who is there :-)

 

Sunday is our anniversary but we won't be able to get away that day.

  • Like 2
Ottakee

Ottakee

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I think you have a good friendship - what you're doing for her is huge!

 

You and your dh do great work with your kids - God has provided with you a terrific "mini-vacation" opportunity - I say Take It!!

 

I would totally do this - and fwiw, I would give some thought to taking my own sheets also! No need to ever discuss whether or not you did or did not..... :-)

 

Anne

i had to laugh as this is a friend who admitted to me that her and her dh checked into a hotel (local one) for an afternoon..........and then went home about 9pm so her teens had supervision.

  • Like 5
Erica in OR

Erica in OR

Posted
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Not weird. I made a similar offer to a couple at our church while we were on vacation. They were in long-term temporary housing while they got started on their home construction. I figured they might like a place to sit in air conditioning, use wi-fi, have full use of stove, etc.

 

Erica in OR

Sara in AZ

Sara in AZ

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i had to laugh as this is a friend who admitted to me that her and her dh checked into a hotel (local one) for an afternoon..........and then went home about 9pm so her teens had supervision.

Totally did this one Valentines Day when my sister was visiting and offered to watch the kids so we could go out to dinner (or whatever....!) I would definitely take your friend up on your offer. My life has been greatly blessed when I take friend's offers of help seriously, and vice versa.

  • Like 1
marbel

marbel

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Sure, do it.   Not weird at all.

 

On the day they return (or day before), leave a vase of flowers, a bottle of wine... something small as a thank you.  (Not strictly necessary, esp. since you are helping them out too, but just as a gesture of thanks for offering.

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catz

catz

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Absolutely, I would do it!  It's actually a great exchange for taking care of her animals.  Sounds fun.  A little token on the counter when they got home would be a nice gesture.  Could be a batch of homemade cookies or something like that if it would be appreciated?

Murphy101

Murphy101

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Why not? I don't think it's weird at all presuming you are in fact genuine friends.

 

Go. Enjoy. Be glad for good friends and some alone time with your husband.

Ottakee

Ottakee

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We are pretty good friends so I am sure she would be fine with it. We just won't let the 11 kids between us know ;-)

 

Our friendship is unique in that there are many little things I don't know about her...those surface, small talk, get to know someone things.... But we discuss far weightier matters and the deep things of life.

 

I will double check with her tomorrow when I see her that this really is OK and then start packing the car ....seriously, even a pillow and blanket for a nap would be wonderful.

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BooksandBoys

BooksandBoys

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Well, I asked my good friend if I could use her house while she and her family are on vacation. She readily agreed...I'm so excited to have two days of silence! Admittedly, I asked for me, not me and DH, but if the stars aligned so that sineobe offered me and DH their house while someone else volunteered to watch my little boys, I'd be saying yes in a heartbeat.

  • Like 1
katilac

katilac

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Heck, yes, I would do it and I would bring my own sheets  :001_tt2:

 

I actually spent my first night of married life at my brother's house! We went back to our home town and got married on a day that turned out to feature a football game that turned into a Very Big Deal, and we couldn't get a hotel room anywhere in the vicinity! His whole family vacated the house and bunked with various family members so we could have a room and some privacy. 

 

It was really sweet, and it's sweet of your friends to offer. Remember, why would they make the offer if they didn't want you to do it? She would have just gone on vacation and you would have thought nothing of it. She made a point of offering, so she wants you to do it. 

 

My repeated use of 'do it' is strictly happenstance. 

 

 

  • Like 2
Ottakee

Ottakee

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I talked with her yesterday and yes, she totally welcomes us. Even offered to have us start a fire in the fire place (we won't as I would never want to leave and risk a problem) or use the gas log fire place.

 

We will likely do some other things in the area and then head there later afternoon. Time to wash a comforter and pack the car

Ottakee

Ottakee

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Friend has now even offered to provide the sheets....fresh sheets are on her bed and she said just strip them if we make use of them....

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Ottakee

Ottakee

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Took them up on the offer of the use of the house. Good thing as Michigan got dumped on and we got almost 6 inches of snow in the past 6 hours. Happy Spring break.

  • Like 1
Ottakee

Ottakee

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It was a lovely time. Wish we could enjoy it again while they are gone.

 

Her house is just wonderful. It is very nice and clean but very welcoming and comfortable.....it just says, "welcome friends, make yourself at home". They live this out as well as they are constantly hosting their kids' friends, people in crisis, family, etc.

  • Like 3

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