Tricks for managing panic/fear? Or, WWYD in this travel situation?

[ILiveInFlipFlops]

Last year around this time, I was forced to cross a large, scary bridge unexpectedly (couldn't stop or turn around), with a low blood sugar and after drinking way too much coffee (youngest DD was sick and we'd left our hotel VERY early in the a.m. to get her home quicker). This triggered a major panic attack ON the bridge, and for about 6 months afterward I struggled with rising panic and a few near-panic attacks while driving, even locally. 

 

I managed to beat it by discovering that if I make sure my blood sugar is bolstered before I drive anywhere, I can make it over bridges and overpasses just fine. Once I managed that milestone, the panic subsided, and I haven't had any trouble since. I don't even think about it while driving anywhere, even in unfamiliar situations. 

 

However. We're about to embark on that same annual trip again. I thought I'd found an alternate route to avoid that bridge, but in doing some last-minute research last night, I discovered that my alternate route has yet another freaky bridge to cross. Rationally, I think I'd be fine crossing it, but just thinking about triggering another panic attack (and more months of fallout) has my heart pounding. I've been over this bridge once before, pre-panic attack, and I remember it being scary even then. That angle feels like the rise on a roller coaster before you go over the top  :svengo:

 

It's too late for me to go to the doctor for something pharmaceutical to help me. Does Rescue Remedy really work? Are there other holistic/supplement options? Can anyone suggest any other magical coping mechanisms? 

 

Alternatively, there are two other route options I can take, but both will add a couple of hours in travel time. is it best to just avoid this whole scenario and accept that we're going to spend a few extra hours in the car (probably sitting in traffic on Route 95, UGH)? 

 

I need a crystal ball :(

 

Thanks for listening. 

Edited March 23, 2016 by ILiveInFlipFlops

[Jean in Newcastle]

Are you the only driver on this trip?  Could you switch with another driver for that portion so that you are still crossing the bridge, but as a passenger this time to build up confidence?

 

 

[East Coast Sue]

Some bridges (like the Bay Bridge in Maryland) have workers that will drive your car across the bridge. I know of a few people who have needed this and it worked great for them.

HTH

[East Coast Sue]

Oh, I think you might need to reserve in advance but I'm not sure...

[ILiveInFlipFlops]

Are you the only driver on this trip?  Could you switch with another driver for that portion so that you are still crossing the bridge, but as a passenger this time to build up confidence?

 

Unfortunately, it will be just me and the kids. 

 

Some bridges (like the Bay Bridge in Maryland) have workers that will drive your car across the bridge. I know of a few people who have needed this and it worked great for them.

HTH

 

That cursed Bay Bridge is the one that started all the trouble :( I did think about that, actually, but I'm not sure I'd be any calmer with a stranger driving my kids over the bridge than I would be if I were driving myself. Thanks for the suggestion though, I think I'll at least look into it today.

Edited March 23, 2016 by ILiveInFlipFlops

[Cindy in FL.]

Pass Through Panic CDs by Claire Weeks. When I was really struggling I would listen to it all the time in the car. She has a lovely Australian accent and I found the content very helpful. I also find that if the tape I play in my head greatly affects my anxiety/panic level. In your situation I would have to start now telling myself that the bridge is safe and everything will be fine. I really hope that you can successfully conquer this!

[East Coast Sue]

If it helps, many people struggle with driving on the Bay Bridge. You are not alone. If you can take 301 on the eastern shore than you avoid that bridge, but as you said- there are a few other bridges instead. They are much less intimidating, in part because they spam less water and at lower height. So it really might be easier for you. But, if you are concerned about the panic setting in, I recommend the professional drivers on the Bay Bridge. They understand the panic that causes drivers to need someone else to drive for them. That is why they have a job so they are understanding and supportive. I hope it all works out well for you and your kids to enjoy your vacation.

[ILiveInFlipFlops]

Pass Through Panic CDs by Claire Weeks. When I was really struggling I would listen to it all the time in the car. She has a lovely Australian accent and I found the content very helpful. I also find that if the tape I play in my head greatly affects my anxiety/panic level. In your situation I would have to start now telling myself that the bridge is safe and everything will be fine. I really hope that you can successfully conquer this!

 

Thank you, that looks incredibly helpful, and I was looking for something to spend my last Audible credit on. That might be it!

 

If it helps, many people struggle with driving on the Bay Bridge. You are not alone. If you can take 301 on the eastern shore than you avoid that bridge, but as you said- there are a few other bridges instead. They are much less intimidating, in part because they spam less water and at lower height. So it really might be easier for you. But, if you are concerned about the panic setting in, I recommend the professional drivers on the Bay Bridge. They understand the panic that causes drivers to need someone else to drive for them. That is why they have a job so they are understanding and supportive. I hope it all works out well for you and your kids to enjoy your vacation.

 

Sue, you sound like you know the area. Can you recommend a route with a bridge that's less intimidating even than the Harry Nice Bridge? My plan was to take 301 and then veer away to get away from the Bay Bridge, but the HNB has me worried too. I know I can cross a nice straight, wide bridge like the Delaware Memorial, but those super narrow, long bridges...I just don't know if there are enough Reese's Pieces in the tri-state area to get me across one of those!

 

Thanks so much for your advice.

[SparklyUnicorn]

Well definitely make sure you are well fed prior!  Stop at a restaurant if you have to.  I know that wicked low blood sugar dizzy starved feeling.  That in and of itself would create a desperate feeling situation.

 

 

[East Coast Sue]

The Harry Nice is relatively straight and not nearly as high as the Bay Bridge, but it's narrow. I have driven it without a problem, but my dh can't do it because of the two way traffic on a narrow roadway.

 

Is there a ferry you can take? That would be a fun/scenic option that would relieve you from driving or riding on a bridge. I think there's are ferries from NC and NJ into Maryland but I don't know the specific details.

[vonfirmath]

Are you the only driver on this trip?  Could you switch with another driver for that portion so that you are still crossing the bridge, but as a passenger this time to build up confidence?

 

This. Can someone else drive?

[Cindy in FL.]

I also have a prescription for Ativan. I hardly ever take it, but knowing that I have it makes a world of difference!

[NicksMama-Zack's Mama Too]

I am so glad that someone brought this up. I just found the link regarding getting assistance:

http://www.cbbt.com/about-us/faq/

[Mom2Five]

Ugh, just wanted to say that I feel your pain....or anxiety. We are moving back to our old  house and there is a huge bridge that I have to cross to go to church...basically everything. I am dreading it.

[ILiveInFlipFlops]

I am so glad that someone brought this up. I just found the link regarding getting assistance:

http://www.cbbt.com/about-us/faq/

 

This is actually a different bridge, and one I can and have driven with no problems. It's wider, and it's closer to the water, so it doesn't scare me as much, though I know it scares others. The other Bay Bridge (which, apparently, is considered the actual "Bay Bridge"--I had no idea it even existed until last year!) is on Route 301 in Maryland, and it is terrifying. I was absolutely positive I was going to black out while driving. I even considered stopping mid-span, though thank goodness I didn't have to. 

 

I found the drive-over people, and I'm considering it. I just don't know if a stranger driving us across will make me anymore comfortable. So not rational, I know! I can drive over the George Washington Bridge, the Delaware Memorial, the Pulaski Skyway. But not this one. Whew.

 

Ativan sounds so nice right now. I'm watching Youtube videos of crossing the two bridges, trying to desensitive myself, but it's not helping. I'm sooo not a person who lets anything stand in my way, so this really ticks me off!

[ILiveInFlipFlops]

Ugh, just wanted to say that I feel your pain....or anxiety. We are moving back to our old  house and there is a huge bridge that I have to cross to go to church...basically everything. I am dreading it.

 

:grouphug: :grouphug:

[Guest]

I also have a prescription for Ativan. I hardly ever take it, but knowing that I have it makes a world of difference!

 

You're not supposed to drive after you take ativan.

 

OP I know someone else driving will still make you *nervous* but it would be safer if that is an option. Nervous (even all out panicking) passenger > nervous driver.

[G5052]

Some bridges (like the Bay Bridge in Maryland) have workers that will drive your car across the bridge. I know of a few people who have needed this and it worked great for them.

HTH

 

I had no idea that this was available. I've only done the Bay Bridge twice, and it was really difficult for me. I still have nightmares about it!

[Mom2Five]

I just looked at the links to both bridges...I am pretty sure I have had nightmares about these bridges and I've never even seen them before. I'd go around lol.

[Cindy in FL.]

You're not supposed to drive after you take ativan.

 

OP I know someone else driving will still make you *nervous* but it would be safer if that is an option. Nervous (even all out panicking) passenger > nervous driver.

I wasn't suggesting anyone drive after taking Ativan. If I was in the OP's shoes, even going over the bridge with someone else driving could set me off. I don't recommend driving under the influence, just stating that I have it as part of my bag of tricks for dealing with anxiety and panic.

[KungFuPanda]

I drove across the bay bridge this weekend. The friend I was with knows a guy who drives people across. It's $25! Apparently he drove one lady so often that he eventually taught her to do it herself. She started on the floor in the back and progressed to independently driving over the bridge. It took a few years.

[Starr]

You sound like just thinking about it is making you more anxious. Do the drive around and forget about it.  :grouphug:  It's not going to take extra days out of your life. 

[ILiveInFlipFlops]

I drove across the bay bridge this weekend. The friend I was with knows a guy who drives people across. It's $25! Apparently he drove one lady so often that he eventually taught her to do it herself. She started on the floor in the back and progressed to independently driving over the bridge. It took a few years.

 

I just watched a video on YouTube about one of the guys who does it. He says he considers what he does a kind of therapy. I can believe it! I wouldn't need to be on the floor in the back, but I would definitely need to have my eyes closed. 

[ILiveInFlipFlops]

You sound like just thinking about it is making you more anxious. Do the drive around and forget about it.  :grouphug:  It's not going to take extra days out of your life. 

 

It really is. That was the key to my panic attacks. I KNEW there was nothing to be afraid of, but the fear of having the panic attack was so overwhelming that it would start to trigger actual panic attacks!  I just really really really don't want to sit in traffic on 95 for four hours either :-( The route with the bridges is literally hours faster, and you keep moving the whole time. 

 

I wonder if I could take a train!

[catz]

You sound like just thinking about it is making you more anxious. Do the drive around and forget about it.  :grouphug:  It's not going to take extra days out of your life. 

 

:iagree: If it's ONE bridge that you don't cross very often that is causing you anxiety.  I'd re-route and move on.  If this is regularly crippling for you, I would seek treatment. 

 

I have to cross a bridge all the time that is a replacement for one that collapsed.  I think about it every time I cross it, but I don't reroute or panic because of it.  I was treated for anxiety and depression at one point in my life and learned many coping strategies. 

[ILiveInFlipFlops]

OK, I'm starting to get mad now, and I'm thinking about tackling the Harry Nice (the one I've driven successfully before). I just really hate being impaired like this. I don't do well with being thwarted, even by my own subconscious :lol: So no coffee, lots of candy, and probably lots of cursing will be involved. 

 

I'm not ready to face the Bay Bridge yet. Maybe I'll make that my goal for 2017. Or maybe 2018. 

 

 

[Laurie4b]

I drive the 301 route frequently. Have you actually driven the Harry Nice bridge and know you can't handle it? It's really pretty tame. 

 

I do have some slight anxiety on really high bridges, but I don't even really notice the Harry Nice bridge. 

 

I clicked on your link for it and the photo is at a really weird angle. It looks very scary in the photo when in fact, I think of it as a totally "meh" bridge. 

[happi duck]

Bridges...ugh.

 

When I need something but can't take my RX due to driving I use Hylands Nerve Tonic (little tabs that dissolve under the tongue). I also sometimes use Rescue Remedy but get better results with the nerve tonic.

 

I admire your bravery!

[ILiveInFlipFlops]

I drive the 301 route frequently. Have you actually driven the Harry Nice bridge and know you can't handle it? It's really pretty tame. 

 

I do have some slight anxiety on really high bridges, but I don't even really notice the Harry Nice bridge. 

 

I clicked on your link for it and the photo is at a really weird angle. It looks very scary in the photo when in fact, I think of it as a totally "meh" bridge. 

 

I crossed it once, two years ago. It was scary--I remember feeling like I was going up and up and up forever--but not so that I wouldn't have done it again. In fact, when I crossed the Bay Bridge last year, I thought I was headed across the Harry Nice again, until I got through the toll and suddenly got a view of the full span of the bridge and top of my head starting to melt down my face! I'll keep thinking of it as a "meh" bridge. Maybe that will help!

 

Bridges...ugh.

 

When I need something but can't take my RX due to driving I use Hylands Nerve Tonic (little tabs that dissolve under the tongue). I also sometimes use Rescue Remedy but get better results with the nerve tonic.

 

I admire your bravery!

 

Thank you! I'll see if I can find them around here somewhere--maybe Whole Foods? I just tried some Rescue Remedy while watching the Youtube videos and it really didn't do much. 

[happi duck]

I just looked at the Hylands site. It looks like maybe they switched to caplets? I have only used the kind that dissolve under the tongue.

 

Their site has a store locator.

 

Eta: I phoned hylands and they still make the quick dissolve tabs...yay! I like that they work fast and don't require finding water. Plus letting them dissolve is a built in moment of not talking and just breathing.

 

.

Edited March 23, 2016 by happi duck

[kitten18]

I like the hylands nerve tonic.

 

My local health food store has a full selection of hylands stuff as does whole foods.

[hornblower]

some people use L-theanine to promote calm. It doesn't sedate so is safe to drive while taking it.