Losing School Stuff

[MrsWeasley]

I am so frustrated with my nine year old! She keeps losing her schoolwork. Unless I watch her put her school stuff away, she often doesn't do it at all, or she puts it right on top her school binder or bin instead of inside it. Are my expectations unreasonable? Can your nine year olds put school work away without supervision? How do I get her to do this by herself?

[Arcadia]

My 10 and 11 year old leave their work in neat piles on the dining table. If I want the schoolwork put away, I have to remind and oversee for 5-10mins per day.

 

We have not lost schoolwork though.

[OneStepAtATime]

Actually, lots of kids struggle with this.  It is normal.  She needs consistency and scaffolding to help her get into a daily routine.  It is really hard to keep up with stuff if the executive function part of your brain isn't developed much yet and a lot of kids do not have strong EF.  

 

Brainstorm with her on how to make this better.  Make a checklist of the order to do things so stuff doesn't get lost.  Keep it consistent.  Help her follow that checklist every day until it becomes automatic.  Don't nag.  Make it as positive as possible.  Not a failure thing, but a positive thing.  If you can, make this a positive process for the whole family, where everyone follows that checklist.

[Kuovonne]

I agree that it is an executive function issue, and totally within the range of normal. My 12 year old still struggle with this. When she puts things away, she is just as likely to put them in the wrong drawer because it is easier for her to just shove things wherever.

 

1) Can you make it easy for her to put things away? If they belong on a shelf, can you set it up so books don't fall over? (I have my DD's books in a drawer tower, because she could never manage to stack books on a shelf.) Can you label where each book goes? Is the spot close to where she works? If she has to put things in totally different places in the house, can you consolidate where things go?

 

2) Make putting things away a condition for having the task completed. E.g. you aren't done with math until your math book is put away in the proper spot.

 

3) Have a consistant spot for every stage of the work, not just the final storage spot. For example, if she is done with something and you just need to check it, have her put it in your "in-box." When you return it to her, put it in her "in-box."

 

4) Continue to watch her put things away, right away, in the proper spot, every time. This is a huge pain, but a necessary component.

[OneStepAtATime]

For additional ideas you might read Smart but Scattered and/or ADD Friendly Ways to Organize Your Life.  You don't have to be smart but scattered or ADD to get something out of those books.  :)

[Ellie]

I am so frustrated with my nine year old! She keeps losing her schoolwork. Unless I watch her put her school stuff away, she often doesn't do it at all, or she puts it right on top her school binder or bin instead of inside it. Are my expectations unreasonable? Can your nine year olds put school work away without supervision? How do I get her to do this by herself?

 

It is a habit which must be taught, and reminded, and reminded again, pretty much forever. So you have to tell her that it must be done, and show her how to do it, and make sure it is easy for her to do it, and make sure you give her time after each assignment to do it, and remind her to do it. Every.single.time, until it becomes second nature to her. Which could be a long time. :-)

[TheAttachedMama]

I agree about habit training and lots of repeating and grace.  (Especially about the grace thing!   We all mess up now and then.   Kids should not be expected to be perfect---BUT--it is also important to teach them to take care of their things.)     I also agree that this is totally age appropriate. 

 

When we have a negative behavior that I am trying to stop, I will also start issuing a logical consequence.   This blog article does a great job of giving some ideas on creative consequences for kids.  

 

For example, in her house, if you can't find something (shoe, school book, whatever)---the mom will help you---BUT she will issue a finders fee.   You could even have your finder's fee be an exchange of time/work for services rendered:   Since you spent a lot of YOUR time helping your child find something, she might have to pay you back by taking over some of your regular chores in exchange.  I think that is only fair and teaches mutual respect.   You help each other out.  You will help her, but she must be willing to help you out in exchange.   

 

In our house, kids do not get to play outside with friends until their school checklist has been finished and has been approved by Mama.  So---they are naturally encouraged not to have delays and take good care of their things.  If they are delayed because they can't find things, or are dawdling, or whatever---the time is just subtracted off of their free time in the afternoon.  

 

My time is also valued.   For things they do one-on-one with me, they each have 2 dedicated hours of "mama lesson time" with me per day. I set a timer and everything.   I do that because I have other kids who want to work with me and things to do besides homeschooling--and I can't have one child monopolizing all of my time.  (That was a bad habit we fell into earlier in the year!)  

 

I give them PLENTY of time to get everything they need to get done in that 2 hours.  BUT, If they can't complete something because they are messing around or can't find their book, then they use up their time to get their lessons completed with me.   End of story.   And I will not mark that subject off as completed at the end of the day if it wasn't completed due to negligence.   (Running out of time after working dilligently is another story...but not getting stuff done due to negligence is a behavior I like to nip in the bud.)   If they wasted their time in the morning, they would have to stay in while everyone else went out to play.    I probably wouldn't do this *everyday*---because I am a total softy and think that kids need fresh air and sunshine to be healthy---but usually I don't have to do this more than once or twice.  They are motivated enough by playing outside to know that I mean business:   You better use your time wisely!   (And you can use whatever motivates your kids:  screen time, etc.)  

 

Prevention is also worth a pound of cure....

In our house, school books are not often lost because we have a place RIGHT by the table where all of the books are stored.  We don't do school all around the house.   We have one table where we work together on lessons they do with me every day.  The books we use for those lessons are right next to the table.  We have another dedicated place for doing independent work.   (Sometimes they also do their work outside, especially in the spring and fall.)   So it is almost as easy to reaching your hand up to put the book away.   I've had to do this because we too have missed out on school because I haven't been able to find the books.  (Except in our house, it was MOMMY who lost the book, not the kids!  Oh the shame!)

 

We do the same thing with shoes, coats, etc.   EVERYthing has a place...and I try to put that place wherever I noticed they naturally start piling their junk.   Example, if I see coats keep being thrown on a chair by the door, I replace the chair with a coat rack.   If I see shoes collecting in a pile by the door, I put a decorative basket under the place where the pile naturally was.   If I notice their school books are naturally being piled on a table, they get a basket there to store them.  That way we all don't have to try to hard to do right.

Edited March 21, 2016 by TheAttachedMama

[Alessandra]

I found this book, Late, Lost and Unprepared: A Parents Guide, to be helpful. It won't magically fix your kid, but it does help parents reason out when support is necessary and when independence can be expected for their kid.

 

http://www.amazon.com/Late-Lost-Unprepared-Executive-Functioning/dp/1890627844/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1458583425&sr=8-1&keywords=late+lost+and+unprepared

Edited March 21, 2016 by Alessandra

[Alessandra]

For additional ideas you might read Smart but Scattered and/or ADD Friendly Ways to Organize Your Life. You don't have to be smart but scattered or ADD to get something out of those books. :)

I've read the Smart Scattered books, very helpful. They were recommended by our middle school guidance counselor. I found the book in my previous post more helpful to me, because it focused on parent child interactions. Ymmv.

 

ETA There is a whole family of Scattered books.

Edited March 21, 2016 by Alessandra

[birchbark]

One of the posters here (I forget who) said she solved this problem by telling her kids, "Oh, you left your schoolwork out. That must mean you want to do more!" And they did.

 

It does help to make the putting away process as easy as possible. When we stored work in binders, we often avoided the fuss of punching and filing and left it to pile up. Now I use composition books, thanks to the advice of other wonderful boardies!

Edited March 22, 2016 by birchbark

[OneStepAtATime]

One thing that helped here was having a sturdy book cart.  All the currently used school stuff goes there.  Floppy stuff goes in a magazine holder.  It can be wheeled anywhere, has three shelves so lots of space for everyone's stuff, and once we got used to putting stuff there we rarely lose school stuff.

[MotherGoose]

We struggle with this too. I've made it abundantly clear about my expectations, and I try to keep up with the adage, "don't expect what you don't inspect." So if I can discipline myself to check behind her every time, she does better knowing I'll follow up. I'm also putting the responsibility on her for remembering, with reminders but without my checking behind her, all her homework for coop. Last week she forgot a significant portion of it despite assuring me that she had it all. This week she's making super sure she has it all. :) I'm letting the teachers check behind her at coop.

[LivingHope]

I solved this problem this year by using plastic accordian files with seven pockets for each child. Each pocket stores one subject's spiral notebook. I also store pieces of cardstock and ruled paper for our nature journal and other notebooking pages in the accordian files. At the end of the week, I file those loose papers into white binders with page protectors. When a spiral notebook is completed, we click it into the white binder too. Also, assignment notebook or spreadsheet checklists are stored in the first pockets. This works for us because each notebook has a place, all notebooks and papers are stored together as one unit, and it has become a visual checklist.

Edited March 21, 2016 by LivingHope

[fairy4tmama]

Actually, lots of kids struggle with this.  It is normal.  She needs consistency and scaffolding to help her get into a daily routine.  It is really hard to keep up with stuff if the executive function part of your brain isn't developed much yet and a lot of kids do not have strong EF.  

 

Brainstorm with her on how to make this better.  Make a checklist of the order to do things so stuff doesn't get lost.  Keep it consistent.  Help her follow that checklist every day until it becomes automatic.  Don't nag.  Make it as positive as possible.  Not a failure thing, but a positive thing.  If you can, make this a positive process for the whole family, where everyone follows that checklist.

Lost school work or books (how do you lose your math book from one day to the next?) is so frustrating, and I have had my fair share or it! Unfortunately, it took me a while to figure out the scaffolding piece that OneStep mentioned but it makes a HUGE difference. With my almost 9 year old 75% of the time I put her papers in her binder and 25% time she does it while I watch, with my 11 year old I would say the ratio is about 40:60 and I still supervise while he puts it away, and with my 13-year-old I would say it's about 10:90 and I only supervise when I happen to be there(I no longer make a point of it). if I find papers stacked up or set on a table or on someone's binder I put them in for them and say matter of factly that I did so. I didn't set out to do this as a plan but just sort of fell into a partnership rhythm over time (out of a need to not lose school things) and I am really starting to see them grow into doing it on their own.

 

Now books, books are another story!

Edited March 22, 2016 by fairy4tmama

[Jess4879]

I have learnt that my kids (and my husband) like to put things on the floor. So, I figured I might as well work with that.  LOL  All work gets piled on the floor in front of their bin.  I correct it and put it away.  We have a designated office, but we do work all over the house.  At lunch and before dinner I remind the kids to put stuff back in their pile.  What we still haven't solved is getting them to return pencils to the office.  We probably have 30 pencils in rotation right now and on any given day we are lucky to find even one to use. 

[Kuovonne]

What we still haven't solved is getting them to return pencils to the office. We probably have 30 pencils in rotation right now and on any given day we are lucky to find even one to use.

Lol. Finding pencils is a huge problem in my house. We loose so many pencils that I usually buy the super cheap. Plus, I seem to be the only one who can sharpen a pencil. Plus, my kids are picky about what pencil they'll use (how sharp, length of eraser, etc.). Plus they regularly complain about someone stealing their pencils.

 

The only thing that seems to help a tiny bit is that my kids discovered the Pentel Twist Erase mechanical pencils. They are super expensive pencils, but they work far better than any other pencil (mechanical or otherwise) that I've tried. I gave each kid two of these pencils, labeled with their names. They tend to keep track of these special pencils much longer than regular pencils, and there are no disputes about who a pencil belongs to.