Good article about SN and extended family

[kbutton]

http://beautifulinhistime.com/2014/10/26/coping-with-family-discord-as-a-result-of-your-child-with-special-needs/

 

 

[Tiramisu]

That is very nice. Just looking at the picture reminds me of my house. 

[nature girl]

Good post! Our family has been wonderfully accepting, loving and understanding of Anna, they see and appreciate how special and amazing she is behind the more difficult aspects. But that doesn't mean it's not a strain...They're all very quiet, calm, laid-back people (as my husband and I are), and Anna is just the opposite, loud and continuously interrupting, running and hugging and kissing (which is sweet, but now she's getting older it's less acceptable, especially for people who are not the "kissing" sort.) And even though they're kind to her, I can see them flinch inside.

 

Now that she's been more calm at home, I keep hoping we'll have family gatherings where they can see the strides she's made. But we had a few people over a couple of weeks ago and it was awful, she was even climbing on tables which she NEVER does. The excitement of being with family always ramps her up again, so they see the worst of her. It's so stressful (and I'm dreading Easter.) It's just awful to dread time you spend with your family, and I wish there were ways to dial back that excitement.

[kbutton]

We've had mostly good experiences, but I do think that there has been at times a certain amount of suspicion about "labeling" or just a general what's the big deal (except when things go wrong, lol!). I did find that we had other relationships (largely outside of family) that were difficult prior to diagnosis. Some of them very much on par with what was stated in the article. Diagnosis kind of vindicated us, but it was pretty hard to be treated questionably at times when we were doing the right thing for our kids without that label to prove it was "okay" to parent differently.

[GoVanGogh]

I haven't spoken with family since my child's diagnosis. I was told - to my face - that my child's disabilities are my fault and his diagnosis could have been avoided had I only worked with him more. (Like I don't already have enough guilt over my pregnancy complications...) My siblings sided with our parents - not because they agree with them, they said, but because our parents are incapable of changing their opinions.

[Tiramisu]

I'm sorry, GoVanGogh.  :grouphug:

[kbutton]

I haven't spoken with family since my child's diagnosis. I was told - to my face - that my child's disabilities are my fault and his diagnosis could have been avoided had I only worked with him more. (Like I don't already have enough guilt over my pregnancy complications...) My siblings sided with our parents - not because they agree with them, they said, but because our parents are incapable of changing their opinions.

 

Oh, my! I am so sorry.