Please help me persuade a kid who DOESN'T want to homeschool

[poppy]

We're moving this summer, and I want to start homeschooling my daughter (who is currently in 2nd grade).
I've broached the topic with her and am going to a "Getting Started Homeschooling" event this weekend, which she has to tag along to.  I've learned this is a source of real anxiety for her.  She has asked me, can I go to school and only homeschool on weekends?

 

She likes school, likes her teachers, and wants to be able to make friends.

 

The reason I want to homeschool:

 

- We're moving from a very good & supportive district to a more crowded, underfunded one with no teacher contract and a lot of negative feelings around the school in the community

 

- My daughter has some issues which make it very hard for her socially in school..... social communication disorder, dyslexia, ADHD, anxiety.  She is somewhat oblivious to how out of sync she is with other kids (she is socially / emotionally at least  a year behind) but that won't continue forever. She already sometimes tells me she is weird.  And dumb.

 

- I think it would be really, really fun.  I don't work, I have time to do it and I really enjoy spending time with her.

 

- There is a fairly good support network where we are going with at least 2 co-ops 30-45 minutes away to pick from.

 

If you've read all this, I'd love advice.  I want her to feel good about the move and about homeschooling!

 

[MEmama]

Nm

Probably you're looking for a JAWM

Edited March 17, 2016 by MEmama

[mamakven]

Aww.... I can so relate. I'm currently trying to convince my 9th grader to HS. She's young. Can you just pull an "I'm the mom and know what's best for you, we're homeschooling" card?

[HomeAgain]

I don't attempt to convince a child of a choice already made. What I *will* do is take their ideas into account for subject planning, field trips, work areas, school hours, playgroups, co-ops, and extracurricular so. They get input on things that are negotiable.

[poppy]

Nm

Probably you're looking for a JAWM

 

I'm not, trust me.

I am almost as unsure of my path as the kid is......

I know it's up to me, not her.   But if we do it, I want her to go into it happy.

 

[MEmama]

My take on it, unless it's really something serious, is that it's up to the child.

I would let her go, knowing I could bring her home if it's really bad.

[MeaganS]

My take on it, unless it's really something serious, is that it's up to the child.

I would let her go, knowing I could bring her home if it's really bad.

To me, education is really serious, and 7 is too young, IMO, to make that kind of call. I do homeschool for lots of reasons other than the ones the op mentioned though. Even so, I'd maybe try a dry run through the summer or even Christmas. Show her how awesome it can be. If she still doesn't like it, reconsider. At that age, the known is better than the unknown and they like the status quo.

 

My dd7 who has social issues, probably ADD, dyscalculia, and technically diagnosed with hfa (but we aren't sure) thrives at home. We do a coop for fun once a week and girl scouts and church. She loves being done with school by 11 most days. She also loves that we were able to not do school for 2 weeks when a last minute opportunity for a road trip to see all of her cousins happened a few weeks ago. There are lots of pros. And I love that my sensitive "weird" girl doesn't have to face too much social pressure yet and can enjoy being who she is.

[HomeAgain]

Now that I'm off my ipad I can detail more.  Some years, it has been up for debate in our house.  During those years we would make a list of everything he wanted to learn/do that year.  Then we'd make pro/con lists for home and school and research both options - to include meeting with the principal and going over the school's scope and sequence for various subjects, what field trips he could expect, etc.  And there were some things that school could provide easier than home, but we could often find comparables if we looked hard enough.  This helped him make an informed decision, by basing it off of his wants and needs and not trying to conform to a preset option, he got to be fully involved in the decision.

 

That said, I did not give my youngest a choice this year.  I knew what school would be like for him, surrounded him with children who were not going to school, and he saw homeschool as a valid life course, not an "other".  When he is older he may choose but at the moment he has to follow what we think is best and cope with that decision.

[poppy]

My take on it, unless it's really something serious, is that it's up to the child.

I would let her go, knowing I could bring her home if it's really bad.

 

My fear is that she won't ever think the school  or social situation is bad.  She'll think she isn't good enough.  It's a pattern with her.  She think she is terrible at making friends (and honestly, she sometimes doesn't recognize a kid she's known for years due to not being able to tell faces apart.....) or she's not good enough at reading to keep up.    I don't want to start homeschooling because she thinks she failed.  She already has heartbreaking self-esteem issues at 7.

[Farrar]

I think the number one thing is to decide if she has a say or not. I, personally, listen to my kids about what they need, but no way is it up to them at that age. Education, as a pp said, is too serious for them to have the final say over at such a young age. But you may feel differently. If it's up to her, then lay out the ground rules. But if it's not up to her, then just do it and make it clear to her about why and about what she does have control over (what classes, activities, topics for study, schedule stuff, whatever).

[SilverMoon]

My second grader would be essentially told to suck it up, buttercup. But I absolutely would help her look for the sunny parts of homeschooling that she would value. There can still be outside teachers, perhaps an art class, coding class, scouts, sports, lots of options to get excited about. Friends can be found in any of those, and usually from the ones you go to year after year. Focus on looking for all the new adventures to be had, and you'll find them. :001_smile:

[Arcadia]

I know it's up to me, not her. But if we do it, I want her to go into it happy.

We went from B&M public school to online public school when oldest was 6yrs 8mths and going into 2nd.

 

It was a horrible year until we were out every day and this kid of mine is susposedly an introvert. Not only that, he need space at home away from his sibling and he need scheduled time with other kids that he can look forward to.

 

It is hard to tell how something would turn out after your move. How many weeks before the school term would you be at the new place? If you would be there by summer, she might be able to make friends and feel less scared about homeschooling. If you move just before school start and she feels isolated, it can feel teary kind of yucky because the grass is always greener until proven otherwise from a young kid's point of view.

 

ETA:

Have backup plans for if the co-ops don't work out. Isolation tends to escalate anxiety.

Edited March 17, 2016 by Arcadia

[MEmama]

To me, education is really serious, and 7 is too young, IMO, to make that kind of call. I do homeschool for lots of reasons other than the ones the op mentioned though. Even so, I'd maybe try a dry run through the summer or even Christmas. Show her how awesome it can be. If she still doesn't like it, reconsider. At that age, the known is better than the unknown and they like the status quo.

 

My dd7 who has social issues, probably ADD, dyscalculia, and technically diagnosed with hfa (but we aren't sure) thrives at home. We do a coop for fun once a week and girl scouts and church. She loves being done with school by 11 most days. She also loves that we were able to not do school for 2 weeks when a last minute opportunity for a road trip to see all of her cousins happened a few weeks ago. There are lots of pros. And I love that my sensitive "weird" girl doesn't have to face too much social pressure yet and can enjoy being who she is.

Well yes, of course education is serious and of course there can be pros to homeschooling. My DS was 6 when he decided to come home. But even though I knew before putting him in ps that homeschooling would probably be a better fit, I'm really glad (and so is he) that he tried ps. It was boring and so forth, but no harm done. Everyone has their own circumstances of course, but personally I wouldn't want to force a kid to homeschool. It just sounds like a recipe for disaster, kwim? But I'm not ideological about it at all.

[sweetpea3829]

I tend to take more of the "Sorry you don't like it but we know what's best for you..." approach.  

 

That said...spend some time showing her the benefits of homeschooling.  When you are able to take days off, that the school otherwise wouldn't...point that out.  When you are able to make curriculum choices that appeal to her, point out how that wouldn't have been possible if she were in public school.  Remind her that she doesn't have to do "homework" (accept (really?...except!) for her regular daily work)...etc.

 

Occasionally, I have a kiddo who will express a desire to go to public school.  Mine have never been, other than the occasional visitation to the school for whatever reason (IEP meeting for DD, for example).  My kids see the public school as a Candyland.  Seriously...they walk in and it's all, "WOAH!  KIDS!  GYM!  PLAYGROUND!"  I have been tempted to send a few of them so that they could see that its not all fun and games but...with my luck...they'd love it!

 

The thing is...elementary school isn't usually that bad...and many elementary kids do enjoy school.  Elementary kids are pretty accepting of one another, overall.  It's middle school and up where it becomes more of an issue...and those social issues you mentioned become a real problem.  

Edited March 17, 2016 by Sweetpea3829

[jewellsmommy]

Show her how it can be. Ask her to pick something now that she would like to learn more about. Do a lapbook or journaling or project on the subject. Get her together with the co-op or a homeschool park day asap. It is not surprising that she would be anxious about something she has never tried before, especially a child that already has a propensity towards anxiety. That will go away as she gains exposure. 

[Hobbes]

As a parent, you see a much bigger picture than a 2nd grader does, with a better understanding of her strengths and limitations. You may find it works differently in your family, but I personally would not leave the decision to her at all and I would not talk about it with her in terms that makes her think she can decide. I'd make a decision and then stick with it, so it wouldn't be a rollercoaster for her.

 

Once the decision was made, I'd talk through concerns with her to help address some of what is upsetting her. I'd also intentionally and casually point out benefits of homeschooling, i.e. "Oh, that will be great when we are homeschooling because..."

 

If the friends are a big thing, I would try to connect her with other homeschoolers ASAP after the move. That said, a new school isn't always a piece of cake either and there may just be some rough waters either way.

 

I was homeschooled and various younger siblings desperately wanted to try school at various points. I now see more than ever how wise it was that my parents didn't leave those decisions to them... even when the choice was school for one of them, it was my parents' selection and that framework offered stability, I think.

[almondbutterandjelly]

I guess I would start talking up the fun stuff about homeschool.  Sleeping later than 6am, no homework after school, whatever else you can think of.  Buy some fun curriculum materials now, maybe.  Inchworm manipulatives.  Feet by the foot.  Other cool math and science stuff.  Maybe some Montessori grammar manipulatives.  History toobs.  Get some fun "educational" books like Grammar Tales and Sentence Family and Berenstain Bears Big Book of Science and Nature Treasury.  Talk about how you'll get her art lessons or gymnastics or whatever.  Talk up the fun.

 

 

Edited March 17, 2016 by perkybunch

[Kiara.I]

I'd make the decision for my kids.

 

HOWEVER:  I decided to homeschool while my oldest was in preschool (yes, we did preschool anyway.)  And I realized that ALL the books, ALL the kids' tv shows took a very "Rah, rah SCHOOL!!!!" type of storyline.  Very, very frequently....

 

And I understand why.  When (basically) all kids go to school, the media and the books participate in the cultural project to convince kids that school is great.  Yay, school!  (insert eyerolling here...)

 

So, since the culture and the media feel free to work on programming the "school is great!" idea, I felt entirely free to do some deprogramming propaganda of my own.  First of all, I didn't let them watch a lot of young-child TV, most of which is full of "Yay school!" messages.  Then, every time we passed a school I pointed out that they could see all the kids sitting at desks.  I leaned heavily on the idea that they pretty much had to sit in desks Aaaaaaallll  Daaaaaaay and do whatever the teacher told them to.  They were only allowed to play outside twice a day, once for 15 minutes and once for 1/2 hour.

 

Was I stretching the truth a bit?  Yes (but not that much...)  I felt it slightly fair, given all the cultural propaganda they were facing.

 

Now, your daughter has anxiety.

Chances are good that she *believes* the cultural propaganda (why wouldn't she?  She's already believing messages about her worth, too...)  And so yes, going against that propaganda would be a huge source of anxiety for her.  You might want to do a good deal of reflecting feelings, combined with some added questions.  And, of course, some fairly subtle-but-constant counter-programming.

[poppy]

Lots of good advice here. And I appreciate it , including the advice from those telling me what I don't want to hear . Thanks. We are moving in July. Lots of time to think and weigh options .

[Lori D.]

Change is very difficult for some children with certain personality types, and esp. if there are extenuating issues. It sounds like your sweet little girl has both, and my guess (without really knowing her) is that she's trying to cling to what is familiar out of fear of the unknown new.

 

Perhaps gently start homeschooling this summer, at the end of her school year, doing 1-2 subjects at first and slowly add in other subjects as confidence and comfort levels rise. This makes homeschooling the new secure routine that helps her through the transition of the move, and continues into the new school year and at the new home.

 

Give her control over parts of the homeschool -- for example, you set up workbooks for the day, but she gets to choose what order to work on them. Or together you look over choice of hands-on projects to go with history, and she chooses the one that she most wants to do. Or you put together a book basket of acceptable books, but she gets to choose which one(s) to read and when.

 

Make sure to have a regular routine to give her added security, so that she knows what can be counted on:

 

- daily routines -- examples: every morning after we finish math, we take a snack break, or, we start our day with circle time, or we do read aloud right after lunch

 

- weekly routines -- examples: Fridays are the day we go to the park and meet homeschool friends, and Wednesday afternoons are for educational supplements and games

 

 

She sounds like a sweetie, and that is so kind of you to care to make her a part of this transition. BEST of luck! Warmest regards, Lori D.

[MerryAtHope]

Find out what she's thinking. For example, ask her what she likes about her school. It may be that there are things that wouldn't be hard to duplicate in a homeschool situation. 

 

It's not at all unusual for a child to not want to try something new, and I would assume her feelings may have a lot to do with being uncertain about moving and the changes. 

 

She may also not understand that moving means going to a new school. If going to school is even on the table for you, I would make that difference clear to her. 

 

Don't try to convince her all at once. Sometimes just listen to her questions and concerns, and tell her you'll think about those and/or pray about them. Give her information in little bits. Let the idea grow on her as she learns more about it. Share positives about things you can do when you homeschool. 

 

 

[luuknam]

This is my first year homeschooling my 3rd grader. Our situation is a little different, because his younger brother wasn't ever in school, and was doing homeschool swim&gym while oldest was in public school 2nd grade, so I just let my oldest play hooky the day swim&gym had a potluck. We also didn't move.

 

But, my oldest has HFA, and loved school, and didn't particularly want to homeschool. I figured that since he'd been in school since he was 3 years 3 days old, he didn't know anything else, so his opinion didn't carry a whole lot of weight with me. He was unsure in September and told me a few times he wanted to be in school, but recently told me that school got a 69 and homeschool a 70, which I know isn't a ringing endorsement (and I was surprised he gave school such a low grade), but I'll take it given how we started.

 

Ideas: I know you're moving, which complicates things a little, but you could find a co-op or park day or something in your area and ask if they'd let her attend one day just to see what it's like, just so she *sees* that homeschoolers are real people. Aside from that, you could join a homeschool group online (email, facebook, w/e) and ask around if anyone wants to be penpals with your daughter.

[poppy]

 

 

He was unsure in September and told me a few times he wanted to be in school, but recently told me that school got a 69 and homeschool a 70, which I know isn't a ringing endorsement (and I was surprised he gave school such a low grade), but I'll take it given how we started.

 

I love it.  I'd take that as an oblique "thanks Mom" in your shoes too!

[KSinNS]

We brought our oldest home at that age. He hated school but was really not keen on home schooling until he did it for awhile. He is super happy now. If your daughter tries it for a year and hates it, she could always try school then. Makes it feel less permanent. It was hard for all of us to imagine life without school, until we did.

[Sahamamama]

We're moving this summer, and I want to start homeschooling my daughter (who is currently in 2nd grade).

I've broached the topic with her and am going to a "Getting Started Homeschooling" event this weekend, which she has to tag along to.  I've learned this is a source of real anxiety for her.  She has asked me, can I go to school and only homeschool on weekends?

 

She likes school, likes her teachers, and wants to be able to make friends.

 

The reason I want to homeschool:

 

- We're moving from a very good & supportive district to a more crowded, underfunded one with no teacher contract and a lot of negative feelings around the school in the community

 

- My daughter has some issues which make it very hard for her socially in school..... social communication disorder, dyslexia, ADHD, anxiety.  She is somewhat oblivious to how out of sync she is with other kids (she is socially / emotionally at least  a year behind) but that won't continue forever. She already sometimes tells me she is weird.  And dumb.

 

- I think it would be really, really fun.  I don't work, I have time to do it and I really enjoy spending time with her.

 

- There is a fairly good support network where we are going with at least 2 co-ops 30-45 minutes away to pick from.

 

If you've read all this, I'd love advice.  I want her to feel good about the move and about homeschooling!

 

I would be sympathetic to her. If the tables were turned, and my daughters (who are happily homeschooling) were suddenly told they had to go to school, I know this would cause them great anxiety. Add to that a move to a new neighborhood, social and neurological challenges, and just being at the vulnerable age of seven, and yes, I think most children would be anxious.

 

I think that if my approach were to say, "Oh, you'll love school," my kids wouldn't buy it. But if I said, "After much prayer and seeking the Lord, this is what we, as your parents, believe is best for us all as a family. This is what we are going to do, and we do realize that this is a big change for you. But we are going to work this out together, and we will be here to help you and guide you through these changes."

 

I would begin to build on the foundation of trust that she has in you. Emphasize that you have never let her down. Remind her that you are her biggest support, you are always there for her, you have loved her beyond imagining since before she was ever born! This is a great leap of faith for a young child, and instead of focusing so much on how she'll "love homeschooling," I would instead build up her confidence in your love for and care for her. This is the foundation of all good parenting, anyway -- the incredible, unconquerable love of a parent for her child -- regardless of the path we take for our child's learning.

 

Welcome to homeschooling (or whatever you decide to do)! :seeya:

Edited March 18, 2016 by Sahamamama

[Sahamamama]

My fear is that she won't ever think the school  or social situation is bad.  She'll think she isn't good enough.  It's a pattern with her.  She think she is terrible at making friends (and honestly, she sometimes doesn't recognize a kid she's known for years due to not being able to tell faces apart.....) or she's not good enough at reading to keep up.    I don't want to start homeschooling because she thinks she failed.  She already has heartbreaking self-esteem issues at 7.

 

This just makes me cry! So sad! You know, I wouldn't get into any of this with your daughter. She doesn't need to know these reasons, she just needs you to protect her from any further harm or sense of failure.

 

And, in the beginning, I wouldn't be all "schooly" with her, either, but would enjoy going to the park when the school kids are on the bus. ;) Be in your pajamas and make pancakes. Snuggle and read a book. Go shopping in the middle of the day! Woot! Woot! (Confessions of a Very Happy Homeschooler, LOL).

 

Art projects. Hand sewing. Embroidery with yarn and burlap. Fun stuff for a seven year old. ;)

 

Throw academics to the wind, if need be, but reach into her heart and make your case that she is wonderful and she is loved.

[Arcadia]

Since you are moving in July, make it all about integrating to the new neighborhood. It is a good time to host block parties, play dates, attend summer camps by parks & recs. Just don't mention school at all.

 

In our case, my boys toured many private schools and none were good fit. So they were willing to homeschool as a stop gap. Because my oldest got enough social hour in school for his needs, we just assume he was a homebody and did not plan for scheduled "social meetings" when we pulled him out. Once we got that sorted out it wasn't so bad.

 

Here many working people shop during lunch hour. We actually avoid 11am to 1pm.

[Sebastian (a lady)]

My fear is that she won't ever think the school  or social situation is bad.  She'll think she isn't good enough.  It's a pattern with her.  She think she is terrible at making friends (and honestly, she sometimes doesn't recognize a kid she's known for years due to not being able to tell faces apart.....) or she's not good enough at reading to keep up.    I don't want to start homeschooling because she thinks she failed.  She already has heartbreaking self-esteem issues at 7.

 

You might look and see if you can find any ideas for helping military kids with moving.  Just throwing that out there, because there are a lot of little things that you can do to make a new situation (whatever it is) seem nice and positive.

 

You could make a big deal out of getting a library card at the new place.  Or a membership to the zoo, aquarium or museum.

 

You could have her help you decorate your "school" area.  You could make a big deal out of decorating binders for her work.  (We did this one year just by putting awesome scrapbook paper into view binders.)

 

You may be able to help frame the homeschooling as just a change that goes with the new hometown.

[Haiku]

Honestly, I wouldn't persuade a second grader to homeschool. I would just homeschool. Especially if she has some issues with anxiety, don't even act like she has a choice or that you are seeking her approval. I'd just tell her that you're the mom and you are making the choice that you think is best for her. Be confident about it. Your dd likely has no idea what homeschooling would be like, so she can't really make an informed choice, so feeling like it somehow hinges on what she decides could be very overwhelming for her.

 

I would tell her she can make friends in a homeschool group and leave it at that. 

[RootAnn]

So I've been following this thread since you started. I finally feel like I want to jump in.

 

- Explain to her that the schools where you are moving to are different than the ones in your current area. (I can't figure out how you want to word this for a 7 yr old.)

- Gently point out that she will have to make new friends regardless of her school situation since you are moving. Point out the ways you are going to help her find some new friends as part of homeschooling.

- I'd work on JUST the 3Rs (making sure to start enough below her current level to help her build some confidence) plus lots of fun/snuggle/read alouds. For at least the first six months.

 

My kids have never been in a brick-and-mortar school. Some of them expressed interest in going when they were younger. We took eldest to shadow at a brick-and-mortar high school recently & she is adamant that she wants to continue homeschooling. The next two kids also want to stay at home. The youngest two don't really care as long as they get plenty of free time.  :lol: I try not to talk down the public schools for a variety of reasons (including because some of their friends attend there & because we might choose to send them one day). But I do sometimes point out the negatives of certain situations and they also hear their PS friends' parents sometimes discuss issues with the public school.

 

Best of luck with everything.

[tm919]

We're moving this summer, and I want to start homeschooling my daughter (who is currently in 2nd grade).

I've broached the topic with her and am going to a "Getting Started Homeschooling" event this weekend, which she has to tag along to.  I've learned this is a source of real anxiety for her.  She has asked me, can I go to school and only homeschool on weekends?

Another thing to discuss with her is what this is really like to experience... most people need time to de-stress and do nothing. We do the afterschooling thing, but my daughter (6 years old) is pretty focused and very high energy. For a child to go to school into the afternoon, then play with friends or do activities into the evening, THEN have other lessons on top of it is a lot. As a 6 year old child, even at 7 or 8, I could not have done this myself. We are lucky that homework at her school is light for elementary (it's stuff like, read to yourself for 20 minutes...).

 

Basically, even though we do it here, I think her idea could seriously suck the happiness out of life. Plus it could put you in an AWFUL position because if she doesn't do the afterschool work she has promised to you because she is drained, THEN you pull her from public school to homeschool her... homeschooling might look like a punishment for failure to her.  

Edited March 18, 2016 by tm919

[poppy]

Update: I showed her the co-op schedule, which includes sewing, painting, cooking, and "Dinosaurs". And she says she is in.

Not sure we're all the way there, but it's a good step forward.

 

[regentrude]

If you are convinced homeschooling is the best option for your child, you get to make the decision. You don't have to persuade, but you might want to convince instead.

What I would do is drop the topic entirely - and spend the summer doing it: very interest based, fun, educational activities, without even calling it "homeschool". And then simply continue into the fall.

 

She has no idea how "homeschooling" will look like! She cannot fathom how she would find friends, how she would get to do activities with other kids - even adults have difficulties understanding the reality of homeschooling ("what about socialization?"), a child who has only known school cannot know what to expect. She is probably scared of the unknown.

So, I would use the summer to show her what homeschooling would look like and take time to start activities with other homeschooled children. Ideally, I would hit fall with some kind of a network in place, homeschool park days or activities to go to, and then simply continue.

I would not take her to any informational meetings, but rather keep it as low key as possible.

Edited March 18, 2016 by regentrude

[Arcadia]

Update: I showed her the co-op schedule, which includes sewing, painting, cooking, and "Dinosaurs". And she says she is in.

Not sure we're all the way there, but it's a good step forward.

Does the coop has anything for summer like informal gatherings? If there is, I'll put her in.

 

At her age, a lot of local playdates here were through email mailing list and Facebook. Might be useful to see if there is any local (to the new place) email list you need to sign up for to be in the loop. Like a neighbor teach Art for kids at her home and only advertised by word of mouth and the local mom's group email list.

[ebrindam]

You might want to look for some kids books on homeschooling too! My DD liked "Azalea, Unschooled"  and "Ippie Unschooled" but there are several others that are good! Normalizing it for her might help. Also, the Amazon Prime show "Annedroids" features a main character who is homeschooled (well, online school) and does all kinds of cool stuff with robots.

[SanDiegoMom]

I pulled my kids out after a wonderful school experience when we moved. It was an adjustment for moving reasons and homeschooling reasons. Now they are merely a year and a half from a school experience and it is just memories- now their new norm is homeschooling. Many kids (and adults!) want to stay with what they know rather than the unknown. Also she is too young to understand the differences in schools. I touched on it briefly with my kids, but really just waited out the adjustment period. The hardest part was definitely the guilt, but I just kept it to myself.

Line up lots and lots of field trips! That will help a lot! Anything that can't be done in school walls. Bird watching, cooking classes, sewing classes, etc. My kids love the singing at school so I made sure to get them in a homeschool choir.

Good luck!

[sassenach]

If she was older, or if you weren't moving, or if she didn't have the learning/social challenges she has, I might agree with those who say you can't force her to homeschool. But she isn't, you are, and she does. So, not that you were looking for my agreement, but I TOTALLY agree with you.

 

First, I would stop talking homeschooling up. She's 7. It's too far away. You haven't moved and all she knows is that she is happy NOW. 

 

Second, she likes the social aspect of school, you seem to have a plan for establishing a community, so I think when the time comes, you should present a confident and definitive plan to her. Take her input, but explain how you are going to make her input fit into homeschooling. Then do it.

 

She needs to know she's going to be ok. You can give that to her. Acknowledge her feelings, for sure, but you are the parent. You have the ability to see things that she can't. Lead her on this one.

 

 

[dori123]

I hope I am not jinxing myself here... My son recently agreed to homeschooling. What convinced him.was that I took him to a local school that offers elective classes for homeschoolers once a week/(think sewing, wilderness skills, karate, band, etc). They also have a space center that is awesome. He saw that and now is really excited.

So find something she loves more than.school, take her there and show her how you would incorporate it into HS. Good luck!

[Pen]

We're moving this summer, and I want to start homeschooling my daughter (who is currently in 2nd grade).

I've broached the topic with her and am going to a "Getting Started Homeschooling" event this weekend, which she has to tag along to.  I've learned this is a source of real anxiety for her.  She has asked me, can I go to school and only homeschool on weekends?

 

She likes school, likes her teachers, and wants to be able to make friends.

 

The reason I want to homeschool:

 

- We're moving from a very good & supportive district to a more crowded, underfunded one with no teacher contract and a lot of negative feelings around the school in the community

 

- My daughter has some issues which make it very hard for her socially in school..... social communication disorder, dyslexia, ADHD, anxiety.  She is somewhat oblivious to how out of sync she is with other kids (she is socially / emotionally at least  a year behind) but that won't continue forever. She already sometimes tells me she is weird.  And dumb.

 

- I think it would be really, really fun.  I don't work, I have time to do it and I really enjoy spending time with her.

 

- There is a fairly good support network where we are going with at least 2 co-ops 30-45 minutes away to pick from.

 

If you've read all this, I'd love advice.  I want her to feel good about the move and about homeschooling!

 

 

If I understand this, moving means that staying with her current school, teachers, friends is not an option.

 

I'd suggest trying to get together with the people from the co-ops over the summer to help her socially start to blend a little bit, ask if they could meet for park days etc. with someone who will be moving to area.

 

Then (as she requested) you can have her do "homeschool" on the weekends and whatever days work out for you all and do "school" meaning the co-op whenever that happens to meet her social needs.

[YsgolYGair]

I, too, make decisions for my young children. I do it with a "Let's do this great thing!" approach. Girls are more challenging, even with this approach (okay, my girl is more challenging), but even she can be persuaded fairly easily if I hype something up. 

 

I will also answer as one who was a bit socially awkward in my young and early teen years. I should have been homeschooled - it would have been best for me, even if I wouldn't have understood it then. Now in my 30's I do just fine; I get along with folks just fine, married, three kids, good conversationalist, etc. But I would have enjoyed my growing up years so much more without dealing with the just plain meanness of other kids. I went through several hard, awkward years that I could have been spared by being homeschooled. If you know it's best, mama, just do it.

 

 

[Caviar]

I just put my oldest back into public school this year, after two years of h'school.  At this time, we live in a great public school system.  We do hope to make a big move this summer.  I've been researching schools in the new area.  My plan is to take my oldest on a tour of at least two schools and I will go with, we can then talk about both places afterwards, and see if we agree on which one is best for her.  She LOVES going to school, and everyone is much happier now that she is back in school.  If the new school doesn't work out, she can always go elsewhere, or I can always h'school her again.  Just because you make a decision now, doesn't mean you can't decide differently later.  FWIW, my parents let me decide when I was 6 what school system I wanted to go to.  It turned out great for me, so I had a wonderful time in public schools.  I wish the best for you and your daughter!

 

You may want to homeschool for a year or two, get to know the area better, and talk to people who have their kids in schools in the area, and see if any are recommended or not.

[Incognito]

So I've been following this thread since you started. I finally feel like I want to jump in.

 

- Explain to her that the schools where you are moving to are different than the ones in your current area. (I can't figure out how you want to word this for a 7 yr old.)

- Gently point out that she will have to make new friends regardless of her school situation since you are moving. Point out the ways you are going to help her find some new friends as part of homeschooling.

- I'd work on JUST the 3Rs (making sure to start enough below her current level to help her build some confidence) plus lots of fun/snuggle/read alouds. For at least the first six months.

 

My kids have never been in a brick-and-mortar school. Some of them expressed interest in going when they were younger. We took eldest to shadow at a brick-and-mortar high school recently & she is adamant that she wants to continue homeschooling. The next two kids also want to stay at home. The youngest two don't really care as long as they get plenty of free time.  :lol: I try not to talk down the public schools for a variety of reasons (including because some of their friends attend there & because we might choose to send them one day). But I do sometimes point out the negatives of certain situations and they also hear their PS friends' parents sometimes discuss issues with the public school.

 

Best of luck with everything.

I wanted to mention, I agree with this post very much, but want to point out that with your daughter's challenges, the 3Rs might be the hardest part of homeschooling.  They might not be the best part to only do as school and then have nothing else.  I have a child with a number of the same issues you are dealing with and the times that the joy has been sucked out of our homeschool are the times I pared it all down to the minimum 3Rs.  Of course there was more free time, but then the time of life that was focused school work was all drudgery.  So I'd suggest that even if you academically do only do the 3Rs, you make a million other fun things be "school" and assign them. It may just seem like semantics, but if you are trying to sell homeschooling, you want the part of the day that she considers to be school to be rewarding and successful.

[eternalsummer]

This just makes me cry! So sad! You know, I wouldn't get into any of this with your daughter. She doesn't need to know these reasons, she just needs you to protect her from any further harm or sense of failure.

 

And, in the beginning, I wouldn't be all "schooly" with her, either, but would enjoy going to the park when the school kids are on the bus. ;) Be in your pajamas and make pancakes. Snuggle and read a book. Go shopping in the middle of the day! Woot! Woot! (Confessions of a Very Happy Homeschooler, LOL).

 

Art projects. Hand sewing. Embroidery with yarn and burlap. Fun stuff for a seven year old. ;)

 

Throw academics to the wind, if need be, but reach into her heart and make your case that she is wonderful and she is loved.

 

I really needed to read this today for some reason.  I think that even when DS is happy with homeschooling, I have constant doubts because of how much *I* loved school as a kid, and just hearing the very basic benefits is reassuring.

[Reefgazer]

If you have already made the decision and have ruled out the possibility of private schools, I would do this.  Tell your DD the truth (that the schools are not suitable in your new area) and that you will be homeschooling  for this reason, but she can help you select a co-op for a few days/week of classwork and other students.

I don't attempt to convince a child of a choice already made. What I *will* do is take their ideas into account for subject planning, field trips, work areas, school hours, playgroups, co-ops, and extracurricular so. They get input on things that are negotiable.