It feels petty, but I need to vent

[AnnE-girl]

My in laws are visiting to help my husband paint and otherwise get our house on the market next week. I am so grateful, but we're on day three of them staying in our house and it's hard.

 

I'm trying to keep kids out of the house as much as possible to keep the baby away from the paint fumes but we got a late start this morning and did a little school work at home before leaving for the library. DD was doing her spelling and my MIL was coming over her shoulder and trying to correct her handwriting, etc. DD is very sensitive to criticism from people other than DH and me, so it just does not help having her grandmother correcting her like that. Plus, school is my domain. I will go over her work later and have her make necessary changes. I'm so thankful for all they are helping with, but it's so frustrating when they try correcting my kids when I am right there, or saying something is ok when I've told my kids not to do something.

 

And now that I've vented here, I can feel a little better. Thanks.

[Tammyla]

:grouphug: Hang in there. :grouphug:

[OneStepAtATime]

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

 

Tough situation.  Is there any way to only do school work at the library and just cut things down to the barest minimum while they are around?

[Kim in Appalachia]

:grouphug:

that's hard.

 

I know having a schedule for the kids is probably helpful, but I might be inclined to take a few days off and just do field trips with them if possible.  But  :grouphug:  again.  It does sound stressful.

[Arcadia]

:grouphug:

My relatives and hubbies relatives tend to comment. We have to forewarn them if we don't want comments. They don't see it as commenting on hubby or me as the instructor, they are just commenting on what they see. For example if they see my kids handwriting is not neat, they would think my kids are goofing and tell the kids to do better as they have seen how neat my kids can be when they want to.

[BooksandBoys]

I agree. While we continue school with no trouble when my mother visits, it's greatly minimized or outright canceled when the in-laws arrive. If we do schoolwork while they are here (they visit for about a week twice a year and stay in our house), we are in a separate room to avoid any "opinions."

[catz]

I would just drop school entirely in front of them.  If that means taking the week off, or cutting way back, that would be ok in my book!

[Monica_in_Switzerland]

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

 

Tough situation.  Is there any way to only do school work at the library and just cut things down to the barest minimum while they are around?

 

 

I would just drop school entirely in front of them.  If that means taking the week off, or cutting way back, that would be ok in my book!

 

:iagree:  :iagree:  :iagree:

 

It sounds like it's just a couple more days.  I'd avoid doing the school work in front of them or give it up entirely!  Hang in there!  

[Garga]

I wouldn't like that at all.  Around here it is all I can do to keep things level and on track.  To have someone waltz in and mess up the routine and make comments to the kids on their work would drive me crazy.

 

 

[lllll]

nm

Edited November 14, 2016 by cathey

[heartlikealion]

Agree that I'd cut back or not do it in front of them. Over spring break I had ds log into his online curriculum at my in-laws and then MIL proudly informed me she made a system where he got paid for right answers and tested later and money retracted for wrong ones. I was like :huh: Dh was clueless. I let it go but dh and I agreed that we would not be continuing that system at home lol.

 

Could you stay in a hotel? The fumes will be strong for weeks. I remember when we went to a brand new restaurant we couldn't even bare to eat there and always got food to go.

[Pink and Green Mom]

Moving, and everything surrounding it, is one of the most stressful things ever.  :grouphug:

[Starr]

Go on field trips, to the park, anything fun and upbeat. 

[mamiof5]

Hope painting is finished soon and you can go back to normal routine!

[trulycrabby]

:grouphug:

[Danestress]

Sometimes a little directness is worth it. With normal people, it doesn't have to be repeated and it can them set the stage for less conflict ongoing.

 

So I would explain to MIL privately that I follow the advice of educators who say to only address one thing that needs to be corrected at a time. If I am working on spelling, I will address spelling issues, not handwriting issues. Otherwise the child gets tightened up or overwhelmed. I would tell her other educators (and grandmothers) may disagree, but this is the way I am doing it, and if that's hard for her, she may need to read a book or something during school time.

 

The next time she did it I would say, "MIL, perhaps you would like to relax and read a book while I am teaching."

 

If necessary I would point out that she would not go to DH's work and, 'help' but correcting what he is doing. But it is unlikely to come to that if she is a reasonable person and you are confident and clear.

[AnnE-girl]

Thanks everyone. I feel so petty complaining since they are doing so much work on our house, but it's so hard not having our usual space!

 

We've been out of the house for the last 6 hours. We finished school work at the library, went to lunch, a local nature center, and now the kids have classes at church. It's been a full day and really hard for the baby to nap enough, but at least we're out. Tomorrow is a big activity day anyway, so I won't have quite as much time to fill.

 

With all the windows open and fans going, the fumes aren't bad once the paint dries. I'm keeping bedroom doors closed to keep the fumes out as much as possible.