So, which private school?

[trulycrabby]

DS12 has been accepted to an excellent private school, but it is about 20 minutes away by car each way. No transportation accommodations, and very few kids from our area go there because the public schools are good.So, no car pools. They are academically rigorous, and have good sports teams. DS12's sport won the state championship last year. DS12 is extremely strong in math and science; this school has the instructors with advanced degrees to challenge and encourage his math ability.

 

There's a perfectly good, but less academically rigorous private school about five minutes away. They are more sports-oriented except there is less focus on ds12's sport. It is half the cost of the other school, which isn't a big issue but should be considered. ACT scores are 4-5 points lower than the first school, but ds12 tests very well, so I am not that concerned about it. Here's the thing: My mother wants the second school because of location, and she believes the transition from homeschool to classroom will be smoother.

 

Right now, DH and I are firmly in favour of the first school, but I value my mom's wise opinion and want to give her thoughts some consideration.

 

What is the hive's advice?

 

Yes, we are still considering homeschooling, but it is getting very challenging to keep up with this kid's intellect.

Edited March 13, 2016 by trulycrabby

[TerriM]

Unless there's something else going on with your/his schedule that you haven't mentioned, 20 minutes each way just isn't a big deal commute-wise.  40 minutes, a consideration, 1 hour, yeah, it better be a great school.   Not that it's any comparison, but I take one of my kids 20 minutes in the morning to an average school because of traffic, and another takes public transportation 1.75-2 hours each way (door to door), but his school is perfect for him, and he can read/listen to podcasts/play games on the commute (and I'm not driving it, thankfully).  

 

If you're having a hard time keeping up with him intellectually, and the price isn't a hardship for you, then the first school seems like a clear win regardless of the sports situation.    It also will give you some good bonding time if he's the only one in the car.

[madteaparty]

First school and it's not even a question for me.

[trulycrabby]

Wow, two hours each way. We are spoiled in our area, where commute times are pretty low.

[The Governess]

First school. But that sort of commute is normal for me. 😊

[Acadie]

What does DS think? At this age that's a major factor in my parenting decisions. 

 

We were faced with a similar decision a few months ago, and realized that while DD13 liked the closer school, she came home completely charged up from her visit to the school 25 min away. It was seriously an electrical difference, and it matched DH's and my sense of what would be the best fit for her. 

 

So, we're going to figure out the transportation issues! It will be a challenge, especially in winter, and even though there aren't many kids from our area there, I'm still thinking carpools may make it more manageable at least a couple years of four. I'm also thinking I might really value the time in the car with her to talk and connect, since she's interested in rigorous academics and three season sports.

 

We won't make it to every evening event. But she'd be very busy at either school, and why not make it at the place where she felt very connected and engaged? DD is an extrovert, so her social environment matters perhaps even more than to an introvert like me ;) 

 

Good luck!

 

Amy

 

 

 

 

[EKS]

I took my son 25-30 minutes each way to school.  So almost 2 hours in the car each day for me.  

 

Frankly, the commute was the least of the problems with dealing with a b&m school.  So if this particular b&m school is a good fit, I'd go for it.

[SKL]

I would ask DS12.

 

My kids' school is 15min away, and I drove them daily for 2 years.  (Now they have bus service, but I wasn't expecting that when I signed up.)  It's an hour in the car per day, but it was worth it to me.  I think I would not balk at the 20 minute drive.

 

Can you say what it is about School 2 that your mom likes better?  Anything other than the distance?

[Laura Corin]

Hobbes' school is 15 minutes away - for three years it was fifteen minutes the wrong way for my commute to work.  It's really not that far to go for the right school.

[EndOfOrdinary]

Even the public schools here are over an hour each way by bus. 20minutes is nothing. In fact, it might even be a really good time to talk without much life distraction and some privacy for the two of you. Sort of a debriefing about the school day, homework, weekly plans.

[trulycrabby]

Thanks for your wise advice!

 

DS12 likes school 1 better, but his visit day with school 2 is tomorow, unless last night's sore throat turns into something more substantial. Actually, he wants to continue homeschooling, but I truly think it's a comfort zone issue, and that he will love the new school.

 

Mom likes the warm, relaxed atmosphere of the second school. She has not visited the first school. As I stated earlier, she also thinks that thectransition from homeschool to classroom will be easier since it is not as academically rigorous. I think she has some good points, but I think the first school will stimulate him intellectually and make him want to participate.

 

We are still firmly in the first school's camp.

[JulieA97]

I agree the first school sounds best. We decided on a academic rigorous private school for ds who will be in Kindergarten next year. My parents are supportive but my in laws are not. They don't understand why we don't move to their town 45 minutes away from dh job (we are currently within walking distance) to attend their slightly better public schools. They are firmly against private schools and charter schools and don't even mention homeschooling around them. In the end you have to do what you believe is best for your child.

Edited March 14, 2016 by JulieA97

[Harriet Vane]

I was faced with this very same choice. In our case, there were three schools:

 

Really Rigorous Academy--25 minutes drive and definitely more academic work. I was worried it would be toooo much work and I worried about the commute. However, I had a longer commute when I was in high school and it seemed to work out fine. Lots and lots of awesome well-ranked sports teams and arts opportunities and academic niftiness, including travel abroad.

 

Acceptable Academy--15 minutes drive. Not nearly as many sports or arts oppportunities and has lower test scores. On the other hand, there are enough of the things ds loves there, and there is enough academic rigor to prepare him for college. And golly, they sure are friendly here.

 

Really Close to Our House Academy--5 minutes drive. Racially diverse. Minimal sports, but at least they have a soccer team. Academically not very hard hitting at all, but very supportive of dual enrollment opportunities and online dual enrollment opportunities. 

 

 

 

We ended up choosing Really Rigorous Academy. Here's why:

 

--Really rigorous academics is definitely the main factor. Ds is handling the workload comfortably, so this was the right call to make.

 

--Organized administration. We were quite impressed with how efficient they are. We have learned this year that they are also wonderfully supportive of parents/families and there is virtually no tension for things like absences for sickness, etc. 

 

--Better sports. This was important to ds, and we wanted to honor that, especially as he is not likely to play on college sports teams. Why not let him have the athletic experience he craves?

 

--We said we'd get used to the drive. Lo and behold, we DID. The drive has been fine, and it's not that many years out of our life. Most importantly, the drive has been an important time for the two of us to connect. At this point, even if a carpool became available, I would NOT want to take advantage of it because I value my time with ds so highly.  

 

 

Especially since you have a gifted child, I would say to choose the most academically rigorous option. You really and truly will adjust to the drive. You can make it easier by planning errands and by listening to audio books, etc., in the car. Also, I make sure I pack ds an extra sandwich and some fruit so he can snack in the car on the way home. It helps tremendously.  ;)

[mathnerd]

Choose the most rigorous option because your child is an Accelerated Learner and he is strong in STEM and the school #1 has the resources to support him. And it looks like it is a great fit for his sport as well. Don't worry about transitioning him to school, kids get used to their schools very quickly - all it takes is 1 new friend and things will be smooth from then on. Could you split the commute responsibilities with your DH? Can he drop off or pick up while you take care of the other leg of the commute? That is one way to solve the problem of being too long in the car. I really look forward to my drives with my DS - we have discussions about his day, share some anecdotes, listen to some music, talk about things that are important to DS without any time pressure and I always have a snack and drink ready for the commute so that he is good to go to his sport activity after school. And if you chose school #2 because of the expected smooth transition, there will be another change later on if you were to move to school #1 for high school, which is an added upheaval.

 

Good luck.

Edited March 14, 2016 by mathnerd

[crazyforlatin]

When you live in the city just getting to Costco takes 20 minutes due to traffic. A friend of mine drives her kids to a school but due to the distance between her home and the school, both of which are in the same city, it takes her 40 minutes each way. But the school is excellent and has good scores and to her that's worth the drive. It used to take my mom 20 minutes each way to drive us, but again city driving kind of sucks.

[Arcadia]

Is there more neighborhood kids going to the nearer school which makes your mom think it would be an easier transition?

 

We are used to being caught in traffic jams here in the morning and evening commute so 20mins one way would be lovely. It is usually 40mins during peak hours for somewhere nearby.

 

Go for whatever suits your child's needs better.

[trulycrabby]

DH will definitely help with the drive. He will take him at least several mornings per week, and I will do the rest.

 

There are not more local kids that go to the second school. DS actually knows more kids at the first school than the second.

 

I haven't mentioned this, but I have health issues, and I think she is trying to protect me from the stress of the commute, plus four nights a week of soccer practice, which we already do. However, we have homeschooled for three years; this little drive is going to seem like a walk in the park. I think she is starting to come around a bit, though.

[musicianmom]

20 minutes? I would cry tears of joy and kiss the ground if I could move within 20 minutes of the school that I know is perfect for my daughter. I am looking at a 30-minute commute next year just to get her to an okay but less than stellar choice.

[trulycrabby]

20 minutes? I would cry tears of joy and kiss the ground if I could move within 20 minutes of the school that I know is perfect for my daughter. I am looking at a 30-minute commute next year just to get her to an okay but less than stellar choice.

Yes, we are very fortunate and even spoiled in our area. Commute times are very low.

Edited March 15, 2016 by trulycrabby

[Acadie]

Interesting to hear that your mom's concerns about your health may be driving this.

 

Having sent dd13 to 8th grade for the first time this year to a school that was a good fit, I have to say it's been MUCH easier on me than homeschooling. Younger children or a school that is not a great fit would be a different story.

 

Amy

[TerriM]

I'm really sorry to hear you have health issues.  But if the object is to remove stress, not to remove, say, being in a car directly causing you pain because of the sitting or vibration or something, then you'll be happier and less stressed with him at the school that fits him best.