East Coast Sue Posted March 9, 2016 Share Posted March 9, 2016 If you have experience with (terminal) lung cancer, I am seeking advice as I walk through this with my mom. Any advice on how to help or what to expect is appreciated. She's been in touch with hospice and will move into a hospice facility at some point (her plan is not to remain at home at the end) but I'm not sure what to expect before hospice care or how long she might have left. My most sincere gratitude to anyone who can share advice. Sue, no longer in Texas but wishing to move back Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JenneinCA Posted March 9, 2016 Share Posted March 9, 2016 My Mother-in-law had lung cancer. From the time we found out there was a problem until the time she died was 14 days. I strongly suspect that she knew that something wasn't right earlier than that, but because she did not have insurance she didn't go to a doctor. She was extremely determined that she was going to fight it and win and started very aggressive chemotherapy. Ultimately it was complications of the chemo that she died from. As I remember it was a potassium problem and it caused heart problems. It was many years ago and I hope times and treatments have improved. I am sorry that you and your family are dealing with this. It is horrible. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hyacinth Posted March 9, 2016 Share Posted March 9, 2016 So sorry! My dad died two months ago, technically from heart failure but he also had stage 4 lung cancer. His decline from fully functioning until the end was fairly quick. (He walked himself into the doctor's office one day complaining of increased pain and weakness, was admitted to the hospital where he stayed for a few days, and ended up dying at home about three weeks later.) Hospice was enormously helpful! Really--I can't overstate this. From the practical to the spiritual to the "what ifs" and "what abouts" and the middle-of-the-night panicked calls...they were so helpful and supportive. Feel free to PM if you want. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted March 10, 2016 Share Posted March 10, 2016 IMO Hospice is the best thing for anyone in their final stages of life. My mother's passing was so much more comfortable and peaceful than my fathers and Hospice made a world of difference. I wish we had put my dad on Hospice care. We had a friend who went to the ER for something (I forget what) and x-Rays discovered the lung cancer. It was a shock because he had no idea and was feeling well. King cancer tends to spread quickly and oftentimes goes into the brain. His also went to the spine. he tried everything, chemo and. Radiation, but they never checked to see if it had spread to his brain, which it had, so nothing helped. From diagnosis to the end was 14 months. He was in his early 40's and his lung cancer was not due to smoking, it was due to environmental reasons. He worked with pesticides when he was younger. The cancer spreading to the bones was painful but honestly, he was ok for months and then had a quick decline in the end. He had a peaceful, comfortable death. He didn't suffer. I saw him every day as I was best friends with his wife. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted March 10, 2016 Share Posted March 10, 2016 My father's stage four lung cancer is due to exposure to benzene and other chemicals as well as asbestos. He is convinced that hospice will try to "euthanize" him so refuses to allow us to ask for their assistance. Right now he is on chemo. His cancer has 0% chance - short of cosmic miracle - of any kind of remission. All they are doing is "holding it at bay", and just barely. It has already been in his spine and brain once. The lung cancer tumors are not getting larger due to the chemo and it has pretty much taken care of the other lesions, but the reality is that it will always come back even with constant chemo. He is not getting good end of life counseling. Not at all. But he won't listen to us. He is miserably sick on the chemo with no hope, but has chosen not to stop at this time. Please try to get hospice involved, if nothing more, than just getting some advice for yourself, and as one that has had to enter professional counseling in order to deal with this, I can't say enough good things about having a knowledgeable pro to vent to when you need to do so. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
datgh Posted March 10, 2016 Share Posted March 10, 2016 My dad didn't have lung cancer but he did die of a combination of oral cancer and heart failure. One thing I found very helpful was a booklet that hospice gave us about what to expect as my dad went through the different stages of dying. While it wasn't an easy thing to read about, I was glad to be armed with the knowledge and think I handled things much better then I might have otherwise. Sorry you are going through this tough time. It is one of the hardest things you will ever go through but it can also be a beautiful time as you share your memories together. Help your Mom where you can but if it is getting overwhelming don't be afraid to give up the caregiver role so you can just be her daughter.and have some quality time together. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LucyStoner Posted March 10, 2016 Share Posted March 10, 2016 My mom died from lung cancer. If it's still early stages my main advice is to get the best oncologist in the region you live. With extremely good care, she was able to outlive all expectations. This gave her enough years of good life quality to meet all of her grandchildren- she was initially diagnosed long before 6 of her 7 grandkids had been born. Get a good medical POA and advance directive in place. My mom endured a painful and unnecessary transfer from hospice to hospital and then back because we hadn't filed her advance directive properly. There are organizations or social workers who will work on this with your family if needed. Understand the financial picture for hospice as well- she may need to assign her SS payments to them to cover part of their costs. hugs to you and your whole family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LucyStoner Posted March 10, 2016 Share Posted March 10, 2016 As a long term caregiver to my mom I would also advise you to remember your self care and to focus on being with your mom. I realized I was spending a lot of my non work time cleaning and cooking for her but what she really wanted and needed was for me to just sit with her. The best advice I ever got was to outsource as many of the chore aspects as feasible and spend my time being with her and taking care of the things where you are truly needed. It was so much simpler and meaningful to take care of her and to pay someone to take care of her apartment and many meals. There are organizations which will help with some of these things for free. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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