Junior Year - full dual enrollment or private high school?

[ktgrok]

My teen aspie will not be homeschooled next year. This year has been...not good. No year has been great, but it gets worse each year attitude wise. He's bright, but has ADHD he refuses medication for and has as I stated, Aspergers. When he gets upset he gets angry and loud. He will argue for no other reason than he enjoys arguing. The disruption is no longer appropriate for my younger kids to see. They are old enough that I don't want them picking up such behaviors. If it was just him, we'd muddle through, but it isn't. 

 

He is currently doing the bare minimum for me to feel he is getting an education, leaving time for his own pursuits (computers, running a server, gaming). He does TT Geometry, Apologia Biology, Notgrass Exploring America (includes literature and history, minimal writing), Wordly Wise as an ass on to the English component of Notgrass, an online Latin Class and an A+ Hardware class at the local college (computer class for those not familiar). Last semester he took a Linux Programming class (got a B). He's getting Bs and As in his assignments, but it's rough getting there. He's WAY behind, as in, won't finish until August and even then is having to do 2 lessons a day of history to get there and do Biology 6 days a week. And there is lots of drama. Yesterday he was yelling about how I was mean not to give him and extra day to study for Biology test, but then when I didn't back down got an A anyway. He admitted later he knew he was already prepared he just didn't feel like taking it. I can handle the yelling, but I don't want my younger ones exposed to it on a daily basis. Hence the no more homeschooling plan. 

 

Options are:

More Dual Enrollment: Take 3 classes a semester, plus the next level of his online Latin class, next year. Senior Year take 4 classes at least one semester, 3 the other. 

 

OR

 

Private Catholic Highschool.

 

I think dual enrollment is better for a lot of reasons. He'd get college credit for free (we don't pay for it here), he'd be more challenged maybe, and it is more flexible schedule wise. He would have some time with peers, but not all day every day. I think he prefers this option. It is on paper the more sensible option. 

 

However, my hesitation is I'm not sure he's ready for that many college classes. If he messes up, it is messing up both his college and high school GPA. And he has huge time management and executive function issues, so yeah, I worry. I'd have little to no insight into his work, so it would be hard to help him stay on task. Not that he wants to accepts my help. But maybe it's worth the risk. 

 

Private high school would be paid for (mostly) by a state scholarship for students with ASD and other issues. He'd get religious instruction which I would like for him, which is really just a selfish wish. I'm Catholic, but I'm a convert. He's agnostic. I'd like him to know about religion, even if he doesn't follow it/believe in it. I think it might be a good brain stretcher for him and widen his world view. And would be good for him to see that people other than mom are religious. (his father is a Buddhist, grandparents don't attend church, my husband doesn't attend and is not sure of his beliefs, none of his homeschool friends are religious, etc.). I'd be kept in the loop so able to keep on him more about staying on track (I hope.) He'd get the social opportunities that go along with a high school, that are lacking at a community college. (clubs, events, etc.) If he messes up his teachers would hopefully alert me, and we could work on that before he messes up his GPA totally. And it wouldn't effect his college GPA. I THINK but am not sure if he could do some dual enrollment still. Would have to look into that. He would probably like to continue taking some tech classes at the college, maybe, just one at a time.   Okay, checked, they do not do Dual Enrollment, but do offer some Computer Science and Programming electives. 

 

So what do you think?

 

Edited March 2, 2016 by ktgrok

[FaithManor]

For us, I would want DE because of some flexibility in scheduling, college credit potentially, and private parochial schools that do a good job around here have a lot of policies, lots and lots of rules and hoop jumping that can be crazy makers. It would also work better with extra-curricular activities. While the GPA for DE courses is listed on the transcript, the GPA itself does not transfer so freshmen college students start with a clean slate. It could be a ding if he applies to a competitive school because it might indicate to them that he is not a serious student, or that he is struggling. However for a not particularly competitive state school or regional school, so long as his ACT/SAT and admission's essays are within their acceptance range, it probably won't matter so long as he keeps a C average in the college coursework.

 

The downside of DE is that they do treat them like college students and communicate with the student not the parent. But i have found that with students that are both minors and non-high school graduates, there tends to be a little flexibility about what they will and will not say. The legal minor thing is a bit of a trump card you can sometimes pull.

 

The other thing I do like about DE is that my kids have been in courses like introductory physics with other older, serious students. They see the range from those on the bottom not making an effort, those that are struggling but avail themselves of services and try hard to make it, good students, and outstanding students. It's a nice piece of reality.

 

As for religious instruction, I can completely understand the desire, but at this delicate age, it also might do more harm than good. He may need some distance in order to have a better perspective of your faith.

[LMV]

I think your concerns about the abrupt jump to three DE courses are valid.  I know he has been taking computer/programming classes at the CC but it sounds like these are his favored courses and in 2016-2017 you will be wanting him to take his less favored courses as well. What courses are you planning on having him take? Is there a way to make the transition a little smoother (i.e. continue another favored/interest course and also add a more academic core course)?

[ktgrok]

I think your concerns about the abrupt jump to three DE courses are valid.  I know he has been taking computer/programming classes at the CC but it sounds like these are his favored courses and in 2016-2017 you will be wanting him to take his less favored courses as well. What courses are you planning on having him take? Is there a way to make the transition a little smoother (i.e. continue another favored/interest course and also add a more academic core course)?

 

I'm thinking one elective of his choice, a math class, and American Government (figured it would be a good tie in with the election going on.) That way only one of the courses is writing heavy (American Government), which is going to be hardest for him. 

 

Then in the spring he'd probably take Economics, ENC 1101, and an elective of his choice. 

Edited March 2, 2016 by ktgrok

[LMV]

I'm thinking one elective of his choice, a math class, and American Government (figured it would be a good tie in with the election going on.) That way only one of the courses is writing heavy (American Government), which is going to be hardest for him. 

 

Then in the spring he'd probably take Economics, ENC 1101, and an elective of his choice. 

 

What are you planning on him taking for math? Perhaps I am overthinking this because our kids have done DE at the local four year university and have done that because they had surpassed a rigorous high school level in the subject matter (i.e. they had already taken math through Calculus BC, were ready for upper level science courses for majors etc). I realize that community colleges probably offer many classes at the high school level but I think if he was my child I would feel he might be better served by taking his high school courses in a class with other capable high schoolers rather than older students who likely struggled with the material and are now trying to get through it. I think that the goals and content between the two courses would likely vary significantly and the former would likely be more beneficial to a student who is planning to go on to a four year university.  I guess for these reasons I might be more inclined to go with the Catholic High School. 

[katilac]

With regards to the Catholic school, how much would he be bugged by lots of rules and regulations? 

[ktgrok]

With regards to the Catholic school, how much would he be bugged by lots of rules and regulations? 

 

Um..probably a lot, honestly. I mean, he'd deal, I think. He has done public school before (K-4 and then for a semester in 9th) and managed. But no, he doesn't like rules for the sake of rules. 

[ktgrok]

What are you planning on him taking for math? Perhaps I am overthinking this because our kids have done DE at the local four year university and have done that because they had surpassed a rigorous high school level in the subject matter (i.e. they had already taken math through Calculus BC, were ready for upper level science courses for majors etc). I realize that community colleges probably offer many classes at the high school level but I think if he was my child I would feel he might be better served by taking his high school courses in a class with other capable high schoolers rather than older students who likely struggled with the material and are now trying to get through it. I think that the goals and content between the two courses would likely vary significantly and the former would likely be more beneficial to a student who is planning to go on to a four year university.  I guess for these reasons I might be more inclined to go with the Catholic High School. 

 

I think he would test into College Algebra. When he took the placement test when he first started dual enrolling he was a point or two shy of testing into it. I know many others start with much higher math, but as someone who started with College Algebra myself (never took Calc, ever) I thought the classes were fine. Of course, that was a different school and a different time. 

[ktgrok]

Another though...at the High School he'd have 7 classes to juggle at once. At the college it would be 3 DE plus one online class at home. There is more work, higher level (maybe) but less individual stuff to remember maybe. With EF issues, that might be a plus. 

[JanetC]

I would gradually increase the DE course load rather than putting him in a sink or swim scenario. If that means he needs an extra semester or year to graduate, that's better than racking up a bunch of Ds or Ws on his college transcript.

[ktgrok]

I would gradually increase the DE course load rather than putting him in a sink or swim scenario. If that means he needs an extra semester or year to graduate, that's better than racking up a bunch of Ds or Ws on his college transcript.

 

That is another option. He could take Government and an elective the first semester, and do a science at home and his online Latin class. I could probably drag him through ONE class with me. Then take 3 courses the next semester..Math, English, and an elective, continuing science and latin at home. But that means taking 5 courses at once, instead of 4 at once, in that second semester. Versus taking 3 per semester, plus Latin. 

Edited March 3, 2016 by ktgrok

[...................]

I went to excellent Catholic schools my entire life and am a huge fan....

 

THat said, I wonder if you have considered the social aspect. In college, it is very easy to blend into the woodwork, take your classes and head home.

 

In high school, you are part of this complex social millieu that even the most advanced psychiatrists can't always fully understand. You cannot escape the social intricacies and like it or not you are part of the fabric and fold (for better or for worse) of the class.

 

For an aspie, you perhaps also need to decide if the adult situation at CC would be harder, or if the complex child-teen situation would be harder.

 

Also, having attended and loved Catholic schools, I will also point out that a student will only get from Religion class and Mass whatever they choose to get from it, and if their heart is not already seeking, they mostly sleep through all of it.  Of course exposure to the Lord is always a good thing, and I understand your desire for him to have more of it, but it could possibly be better for him to attend an adult confirmation class to find out the basic teachings of hte church, and attend mass with people who really want to be there....(than to attend mass once a month and religion class twice a week with sleeping kids lol) 

 

I hope these thoughts help...

 

 

[Matryoshka]

Another though...at the High School he'd have 7 classes to juggle at once. At the college it would be 3 DE plus one online class at home. There is more work, higher level (maybe) but less individual stuff to remember maybe. With EF issues, that might be a plus. 

 

Two of mine were overwhelmed by the high school schedule - getting up at the crack of dawn, going to class after class with no breaks (20 min for lunch barely gave time to stand in line and get it and wolf it down), barely any vacation, all classes (and homework for them) every day.

 

DE has been much easier for both of them to handle.  Less classes at a time, getting outside between classes, having waaay more control over their schedules, classes and homework only every other day per subject, all of January off and classes end in the spring a whole month earlier than the high school.  I think with the semester classes it's much easier to see the light at the end of the tunnel if a class is a slog.

[ktgrok]

Two of mine were overwhelmed by the high school schedule - getting up at the crack of dawn, going to class after class with no breaks (20 min for lunch barely gave time to stand in line and get it and wolf it down), barely any vacation, all classes (and homework for them) every day.

 

DE has been much easier for both of them to handle.  Less classes at a time, getting outside between classes, having waaay more control over their schedules, classes and homework only every other day per subject, all of January off and classes end in the spring a whole month earlier than the high school.  I think with the semester classes it's much easier to see the light at the end of the tunnel if a class is a slog.

 

This is what I'm leaning towards. The overwhelming nature of the long day plus homework I think will just be too much for him. And it is a bit of a drive as well.

 

Plus it gives him a sense of independence, which he desperately wants. He's very much at the age where he should be working out in the fields with the men, you know? 

[Cindy2033]

Hi,  I know this threat is somewhat old, but this sounds like exactly what I am dealing with my 16 yr old. He can do the work but only produces the minimum output for all subjects.  I am also leading towards dual enrollment for the upcoming school year Im just wondering how your son handled the college courses and workload seeing as a parent you are pretty much out of the picture.  Thanks for sharing.

[ktgrok]

He will be doing 3 courses a semester starting in the fall, plus an online Latin class. This past year he took one class per semester, and got B's in both. He could do better, and maybe he will, maybe he won't but it is what it is. Staying home isn't an option. Public/private school isn't a good fit. I really think this will be best for him. 

[ktgrok]

So, it's been decided. He is registered at the community college for Freshman Comp (ENC 1101), US Government (should be fun with the election coming up!) and Intro to Art Appreciation (he found reviews saying it was easy, lol). He will also take Latin 2 online with the same school he used last year (www.prepclasses.com). 

 

Then he'll take three other CC classes in the spring if all goes well. 

 

There are some definite risks, but honestly, it's the only solution that has a chance of working. 

[lmrich]

Your plan sounds great. Remember that colleges have a drop period and while it is not a great idea to drop a class, it is a great parachute for unique situations. 

Just to add to your thoughts... (if he needs more credits) summer school at the CC. Perhaps having that as a back-up might ease some worries about fitting it all in. 

[ktgrok]

Yeah, I think more down time at home versus all day at high school is better. Plus fewer classes at one time will work better. And Dual Enrollment is free here, so no cost to us other than books. 

[RootAnn]

I'm glad you are decided. As you move forward with him, it would be good to look at his long term goals and what will help him get there.

 

What are his post-high school goals? (When) Will he be moving out? How is he going to support himself eventually? What living and social skills does he need to still learn while he is at home that you can help him with (directly or through someone else)? Sometimes, we have to keep the long term goal in mind when deciding the day-to-day.

[almcclur]

I just had to comment bc your story is also my story. My high school junior also has AS and we've been over some bumpy ground this past year especially. The lack of motivation, the extra special attitude, the squandered potential is all very hard to stomach.

 

We had some success with working backward from what he wants. He doesn't care about anything except his free time on the computer. He's very smart but completely unmotivated. So what he wants is a relatively easy job that pays good money. Fine. I can work with that. So we pull up the jobs outlook page and search for 2 year degrees that pay over $50k and have a high growth rate so we know there will be plenty of openings, even maybe for someone lacking in social skills. There are a few but since it's hard to see him being comforting or compassionate as some of those jobs require (radiation tech) we move on to 4-year degrees. Lots of good choices. He's settled on Accounting and he has allowed me to keep computer science on the list too as a backup. From there we work backwards to see which schools have those, what they cost and what their entrance requirements are. Also what the average GPA and test scores are for students accepted there. B average is often not good enough for scholarships.

 

Maybe if your son could clearly see the point to what he was doing it might be easier on both of you. I know that if my son doesn't directly see what benefit something is to him, he's unlikely to care enough to try. I had to offload most of his courses years ago because of the constant struggle. When I let him take some control of it things evened out. Yes he dropped the ball sometimes. His self-directed, coursera version of western civ did not prepare him for the CLEP test that we do at the end of many subjects, but that just means he has to study extra for that test.

 

Anyway, solidarity sister. There's a place for everyone in this world and he will find his place someday.  

[Susie in CA]

One of my boys had a similar attitude about school. (maybe not quite as severe, but severe enough). It was he who caused us to put both boys in school two years ago. He had already taken one Jr. College Course each semester his 9th grade years. Everything else was still homeschooled. It was not enough. We decided that he needed to be busy all day.

 

He started attending a high school at the start of his 10th grade year. It was the first time he entered a 'regular' school of any kind. He has just finished his second year there. It was the best decision we made for him and for us as a family. He does all the work for the teachers there (never for me) and he love being around people all day, every day. Personally, I think he could do so much more academically than what he does at school. In this case, however, academics took second seat. We needed to look for peace; for all of us and him. He still loves it. He is learning. He has loads of friends at school. He has fun taking drama and being part of the play each fall. He loves all his Science teachers. He learned to, at least, like Math. 

He still comes home and argues about the work he has to do. The difference is that he mostly argues with the work directly and not with me. After all, I didn't assign the work. :-) He has grown a lot. And the house is so much more peaceful. 

 

For us school pretty much every day was the best thing for him.

 

His brother on the other hand is bored to tears and coming home again. He can now homeschool without the arguing.

 

Anyway, because of our experience I would choose a high school even if I had to pay for a private school.

 

Edited July 14, 2016 by Susie in CA

[Susie in CA]

LOL. Just realized how old this thread was. Never mind my post unless you (OP) need to rethink things. :-)

[ktgrok]

It's ok! 

 

And as an update, today we went to the doctor and he got a prescription for Vyvenase!!!!!!!!! He will start it tomorrow. I'm hopeful that helps!