What do you think of four-year residency requirements?

[creekland]

I suspect running your household is a far different experience than managing ours simply bc our lives are so different. ;)

 

Quite probably, but running a "basic" household is still the same pretty much everywhere in the developed world.  One pays bills, keeps up the place, and takes care of their needs while still getting other things accomplished.

 

Granted, when middle son was living in an apt in CA last summer he didn't have to take care of critters/the garden or go out and make sure the fence was ok after a storm, so not quite as much to handle as at home, but he still managed "just" buying food and cooking (rent was paid in full at the beginning).  ;)

 

Not having to buy food or cook while at college gives him more stress-free time for his research and oodles of activities - or maybe some sleep(!), so definitely no complaints on his end.  (Studying, of course, ought to happen regardless of where one lives.)

[Mom22ns]

I totally agree with the know your student advice. 

 

While all students should be able to run a household at the end of high school, not all are ready to add that challenge to academics. My oldest has multiple LD's. Does he know how to shop, cook, and clean - of course. Does he need those distractions when college life gets stressful, absolutely not. For him, just having to do his laundry, keep his dorm room & bathroom clean, and make it to meals during available hours is enough of a challenge. I think of dorm life as a halfway house. Kids take on a few responsibilities, but not all of them at once.

 

Personally, I hated dorm life and couldn't wait to get out. Ds loves his dorm. The fact that everyone has their own bedroom is part of the difference, but he likes having people around. If your kids love the dorm, being sure they can stay is important. If they hate it, being sure they can leave is important.

 

I hadn't thought until this thread, about the differences with size of school. I went to a State U about 7,000 undergrads. Ds goes to a private LAC, about 1000 undergrads. It is true, keeping those kids on campus keeps the energy of the place and helps the college provide the infrastructure. His LAC is a small but strong community. My State U had many small communities within the whole. Different vibe. Different rules. Both have their place and will fit different kids.

[8filltheheart]

I think my comments about running a household are being misinterpreted. :) My kids have found cooking for 1, laundry for 1, etc on top of school work is pretty easy to juggle compared to cooking/laundry for 8-10, and babysitting siblings. :) It is not a statement about anyone else's children. I was simply sharing that for my kids, that has not been an issue at all. That does not mean other kids will have them same comfort zone. (My Aspie excluded. He can't handle managing his own household.)

 

My only point is that while raising concerns about possible problems is important, they are not going to be issues for all students. No one should feel the need to justify living on campus for 4 yrs. If their students love it, great! But for some kids living off campus can be a much happier situation than when they had to live on campus.

 

Hence, knowing your own student is more important than any person's opinion.

[Granny_Weatherwax]

Nobody dealt with any of that for me except for the car until I graduated. I did it all myself, including finding a roommate, signing a lease and bringing home a $5 couch that required a brick under one end. I'm glad I had those experiences then. I kept that crappy couch until I bought my first house.

 I didn't mean that I would be responsible for those things but I wouldn't want DS to have to worry about all of it while trying to maintain minimum GPAs for scholarships, conducting research, etc. while being in a new and stressful environment which might aggravate his Tourette Syndrome. 

[Granny_Weatherwax]

 

ALL students should be able to run a basic household by the end of their high school years IMO.  That's part of our teaching as parents.  There may be a gap or two based upon what they've experienced, but even as adults we may still find a gap or two.  Those are part of life.

 

 

Uh oh, I think I need to enroll both of my kids in remedial Home Ec.

 

ETA:  Maybe I can use it as an excuse to have them come home during a summer session and call it Summer School.

Edited March 8, 2016 by ScoutermominIL

[swimmermom3]

I suspect running your household is a far different experience than managing ours simply bc our lives are so different. ;)

 

I don't know if it is our lifestyle or something else, but my kids have hated dorm life and everything about it. Living in an apt or a house has been more up their alley.

 

My 11th grader is dreading living in a dorm. Most require it freshman yr, so she doesn't have a choice at most schools. She has lived in dorms at summer camps, so it isn't as if she is completely ignorant of the experience. She is an introvert who wants lots of down time in private space. (My older kids are extroverts, so it isn't just that, though.)

 

Dh, Sailor Dude, and I have used Airbnb when we've traveled. While researching for an upcoming college tour, I emailed with an owner who only occasionally had their basement suite available for short-term rental. They had rented it to a college student who liked the arrangement so much that one arrangement lead to another.  The owner's family loved having a young person about and they are now on their third student.

 

Dh and I have even talked about that possibility here. Rental costs can be horrific for young people in our area.  Apartments or dorms aren't the only options. 

 

[creekland]

Uh oh, I think I need to enroll both of my kids in remedial Home Ec.

 

ETA:  Maybe I can use it as an excuse to have them come home during a summer session and call it Summer School.

 

Mine have done better when they've come home from college.  It turns out experience has been a much better teacher at these things than I was.   :lol:

 

We're reaping those benefits when mine come back now.  

[TechWife]

 I didn't mean that I would be responsible for those things but I wouldn't want DS to have to worry about all of it while trying to maintain minimum GPAs for scholarships, conducting research, etc. while being in a new and stressful environment which might aggravate his Tourette Syndrome. 

 

Yes, each family has unique situations and it is important we tailor decisions with those in mind. Good job, Mom! 

[8filltheheart]

http://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2016-03-07/off-campus-college-dorms-now-resemble-spring-break-hotels(these are the types of apts usually have private bus service, too.) :)

[plansrme]

Dh, Sailor Dude, and I have used Airbnb when we've traveled. While researching for an upcoming college tour, I emailed with an owner who only occasionally had their basement suite available for short-term rental. They had rented it to a college student who liked the arrangement so much that one arrangement lead to another.  The owner's family loved having a young person about and they are now on their third student.

 

Dh and I have even talked about that possibility here. Rental costs can be horrific for young people in our area.  Apartments or dorms aren't the only options. 

 

 

I think that tips on finding out-of-the-box living arrangements could be a useful thread on its own.  My high school senior will have 60+ hours of credit from on campus DE at Georgia Tech when she starts there as a real student in the fall.  Housing, and only housing, considers her a freshman, however, and will only let her live in traditional freshman dorms; on-campus apartments, where her friends all live, are for upperclassmen only.  I understand her desire to bypass freshman dorms; although I would encourage nearly every student to live on campus, even in a traditional dorm, for at least a year, she is in such an unusual situation that I fully support her objections.  I even wrote a letter to housing arguing that that their standard, which is that housing status is determined by year of "matriculation," means that she will be a third-year.  (Look it up, Housing Director!  "Matriculate" just means enrolled.)  Housing director was a actually a snot about it, and he's the first person either of us has dealt with at Tech who was not bend-over-backwards helpful.  Soooo, I encouraged her to ask everyone she knows if they knew anyone looking for off-campus roommates, but not very off campus, because Tech isn't in a great neighborhood.  

 

Anyway, long story, but she ended up with a spot in the living quarters of a campus ministry building.  They have dorm-like rooms upstairs for a host of interns who rotate through every year, and if there are any beds left, they rent them to undergraduates.  She's been active in this ministry for two years, so she's no stranger to them, but she had no idea about the rooms until she started asking around.  When a spot opened up, she got first dibs because she'd already contacted the person in charge and asked about it.  So, she gets a dorm room with a shared bath, slightly older roommates (the interns have all graduated college in the last year), a kitchen and free parking (an $800 savings!).  As a bonus, the cost is about 25% of the cost of living in campus housing, which is not cheap at Tech.  The building is on campus and actually closer to her classes than the freshman dorms.  My brother had friends who lived in the Catholic ministry's building at Auburn back in the day, and now that I think about it, I knew guys who lived in the Baptist campus ministry as well.  So, there's my random tip for out-of-the-box housing:  get involved in a campus ministry that has living quarters upstairs.

[Bluegoat]

I wouldn't assume though that an introvert won't like on campus housing.  That can happen, but it can also have advantages for the introvert, especially if ts possible to find a quiet residence situation or where they can have some privacy.  But easy access to other students can be nice, where you don't have to make a big effort or plan to get to know people.

 

 

[8filltheheart]

I am so glad your dd found a housing option she likes, plansrme. That is awesome!

 

Bluegoat, I am a not assuming. That is her perspective. Even in our own household, she will retreat to her room when things get overwhelming. Some of the schools she is looking at do not offer private rooms. It is going to be hard on her and she knows it.

[katilac]

Ds loves his dorm. The fact that everyone has their own bedroom is part of the difference, but he likes having people around. If your kids love the dorm, being sure they can stay is important. If they hate it, being sure they can leave is important.

 

 

Would your ds happen to be at Huntsville? That's where my dd is going in the fall, and it's the only school we encountered that had campus-wide private bedrooms. 

[Bluegoat]

I am so glad your dd found a housing option she likes, plansrme. That is awesome!

 

Bluegoat, I am a not assuming. That is her perspective. Even in our own household, she will retreat to her room when things get overwhelming. Some of the schools she is looking at do not offer private rooms. It is going to be hard on her and she knows it.

 

Yes, it might, my point though was mostly that these things can work out in ways we don't expect, even for the person involved.  There are up-sides to residency even for introverts, and downsides for extroverts.  (Though a private room is much better for an introvert, even if it is a closet.)  One thing is that in many schools, most students past the first year are almost certain to have a private room.

 

I'm a pretty extreme introvert myself - I score as 100 on the introvert scale on Myers-Briggs tests - but residence was a huge help for me in university compared to my first year off-campus.  Some things were wearing - the meal-hall noise in particular - but the benefits socially and academically were significant, and would have been more so the year before.

[Mom22ns]

Would your ds happen to be at Huntsville? That's where my dd is going in the fall, and it's the only school we encountered that had campus-wide private bedrooms. 

 

No. His college doesn't actually have campus wide private bedrooms. In order to get into the dorm with private bedrooms as a freshman it required a separate application with multiple essays. He's a writing major. That worked. :)