Boy, my expectations have relaxed....what have you relaxed on?

[clementine]

So, my college freshman is also a college athlete.  She missed a full week of classes last week for her final college competition (they were over 20 hours away from campus), so her stress level this week was very high!!  Her most difficult class is Calculus II & it's hard for her even when she attends every class - it is a 5-day per week class.  Anyway, after missing all of last week, she had a test yesterday - she had been trying to catch up and really understand all of the concepts, but felt like she didn't know a thing.  

 

I just got a text from her saying she got an 82% on her test and she almost cried in class she was so happy, haha!  I was happy with it too - since I was half expecting her to have to drop the class if this test went really bad.  

 

I am surprised I'm happy with the 82%, but in the whole scheme of things, it's not the worst thing that could have happened.  I like this more relaxed attitude in me....that might be even more surprising to me.  

 

Has having a kid in college changed your perspective of anything in particular?  

[plansrme]

Oh, I can top an 82.  My daughter recently had her first test in Real Analysis (some advanced math thing I don't understand), and she got a 10.5 out of 30. The average grade was a 2!  TWO, one-two.  Lots of kids who put in an actual effort made 0s. The highest grade (we think hers was second highest) was a 14.  The professor admitted that he'd made the test too hard and too long, so he downgraded this test's weight in the final grade, gave a take-home (untimed) test to take most of its place and has promised a curve at the end of the semester.  To my immense credit, though, when she told me she'd gotten a 10.5, I just laughed and asked about averages and such, which made her feel better.  I knew she was as prepared as she could have been and that she was confident that she understood the material, so I suspected that there was something wonky about the test.  I mean, you could think you made an A and make a B instead, but this is not the child who thinks she nailed it and then scores a 30% (that would be my middle child).

 

Gold mom stars for us for not freaking out.   :coolgleamA:

 

 

 

[clementine]

I'll take the gold mom star - you earned yours too!!  

 

I know that me congratulating her was a big relief for her.   Thank goodness your daughter's professor saw the light & made some changes for the remainder of his class.  :)

[clementine]

Yes, we were content with an A- in a Java programming class in the fall.

 

You know what they say about Plebe Chemistry at USNA--D stands for done!

:lol:

[Jen in NY]

Yes, we were content with an A- in a Java programming class in the fall.

 

You know what they say about Plebe Chemistry at USNA--D stands for done!

 

LOL... D stands for done and Cs get degrees. :)

 

I am truly ecstatic now when my girls navigate the engineering core curriculum and 'meet or beat the mean.'

I guess I would call it a relaxation... really it was a learning curve (for me!). I had to figure out that when practically all the kids in your math class got an 800 on the math SAT II, being somewhere in the middle ain't so shabby. :)

[Michelle_NC]

Ditto to all above.  My take on college is that its partly about grades and classes, and mostly about life skills and getting prepared to launch.  It's a challenge to juggle all those balls at the same time without dropping one occasionally.

[theelfqueen]

Ummm I've never seen my college student's grades. It has nothing to do with me. He has to maintain his scholarships...

 

Of course he recently told me he got his first ever C in something so it's not like there's something to worry about here. I think he told me his GPA recently but I don't remember what it was.

[TechWife]

I don't expect my child to be an A student in college. It's unrealistic for most students. That's why only a small fraction of the students are on the academic recognition lists (Chancellors List, Deans List, etc.). 

[GinaPagnato]

Oh my goodness, me too!

 

I never even ask my college-age ds about his grades. I know how serious he is about his education, so it's up to him to work for his grades. I also don't care if he doesn't make straight-As. Once he was admitted to college it was Mission Completed for me, and A Whole New World for him.

 

Plus, I've got other dc at home who I stay busy with, so my nagging/prodding/pushing capacity is seriously limited, lol!

[J-rap]

I'm just glad my daughter is in college!  We rarely talk grades.  I kind of feel like by the time they're in college, I can put my expectations to rest.

[elegantlion]

What has been weird for me is that I've moved into a peer status on some issues because we commute to school together. We do discuss grades, but I take off the mom hat when we do. It's cool to see him mature in areas so different than my area of study. He still asks me to help with wording on emails to professors and he's dealing with an issue with the head of one of the departments so he asked me to critique his email. 

 

The harder part is that we act like roommates and when I need to put on the mom hat, like to remind him for the 47th time to unload the dishwasher. 

[clementine]

What has been weird for me is that I've moved into a peer status on some issues because we commute to school together. We do discuss grades, but I take off the mom hat when we do. It's cool to see him mature in areas so different than my area of study. He still asks me to help with wording on emails to professors and he's dealing with an issue with the head of one of the departments so he asked me to critique his email. 

 

The harder part is that we act like roommates and when I need to put on the mom hat, like to remind him for the 47th time to unload the dishwasher. 

I love this!  We've kind of stepped into that in-between space too.  

 

The maturity that came with college has been so fun to see, although there are still glimpses of the child - getting a late night text saying goodnight, a question about how to wash a certain garment, or just wanting to talk to mom.