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Another way to figure it out is to take the test for children. What were you naturally like as a child? That's often more accurate because as an adult we naturally learn to express our weaker traits.

That is still hard for me as my memories from toddler onwards is of being a diplomatic kid (youngest grandchild) in a big extended family.

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INTP. Mostly right, but not sure about:

 

"Because coming to a decision is difficult for INTPs, after exhaustive research, they are happiest choosing a ready-to-go program that supports their commitment to wide and varied study."

 

What is a "ready-to-go program"? And how does "choosing" work? (okay, the former was a real question, the latter a joke)

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Not to be a downer, but the Myers Briggs Test is really no more scientific than astrology. It wasn't even created by psychologists, and the only reason the fad won't die is because it makes a huge amount of money as a business racket and (like astrology) it's general enough that it can appeal to everyone.

 

https://www.theguardian.com/science/brain-flapping/2013/mar/19/myers-briggs-test-unscientific

 

I think it is totally worth pointing out that this test has almost no status in psychology, and the reasons for that are quite interesting, but this Guardian guy hasn't got a clue - his main thing seems to be that people "have" to be in a complete binary opposite, but anyone who knows a bit about the test knows that is hogwash - people are put on a scale for all the tested catagories, and many people do in fact hover right on the line.

 

It's also true that people's results change over time, and they should - people get better (normally) at using their less dominant traits as they age, and also come to see their value.

Edited by Bluegoat
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I'm an INTP.  The description of my homeschooling was fairly accurate, but not really the part about "open and go" - it isn't my preference.  I would prefer to put something together myself if it is a subject I know - and even when I use something ready-made work I never seem to be able to avoid tweaking it.

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Awesome! Thanks for that feedback, okbud. The INFJs I know are not ones that make up their own plan, so perhaps I let my experience with individuals color my generalization about the type. 

 

I'm an INFJ and I made up the vast majority of our curriculum. I agree, INFJ's are decisive and confident. I've always been a very confident homeschooler. The rest fits reasonably well.

 

As an INFJ, I do hate conflict, but I am also confident, so more than willing to correct someone - on the internet. In person, I'd let it go.

 

Oh, I should also add my N/S are so close that it switches almost every time I take the test. When I look at descriptions, they both fit, but my N expresses itself more than my S right now.

Edited by Momto2Ns
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I usually score as an INTJ, but the N and T hover very close to the line and cross over with disturbing frequency--I blame that for my extreme indecision, as I can never seem to decide whether to go with my gut or my brain, to prioritize relationship or logic ... it's hard being a J when you're ambivalent on two of the other factors!

 

In any case, I could see myself in pretty much all of the IXXJ descriptions.

 

ISTJ: I tend to be consistent; I handle details well; I can be rigid; I do lose sight of the big picture; I am most definitely a perfectionist; and although I did break out of school-in-a-box, it was not without a great deal of resistance ... though I guess you'd never know that since I did it before my daughter was 5 years old.

 

ISFJ: I like to be useful; I despise conflict (although you'd be surprised how willing I am to go with it if it's really important); I care deeply; I am extremely loyal; I am plagued by self-doubt (even as I am totally convinced that no one else does it quite right either, and if it's going to be not-quite-right, it's going to be my version of it); even when I moved away from boxed curriculum, I stuck with relatively complete subject curricula.

 

INFJ: I try to be a good mentor-guide for my daughter, so much so that burned out is just regular life for me; I am overwhelmed by the details until I can figure out the perfect organizational system, which usually involves a spreadsheet, and then I handle them just fine; I love planned curricula ... though I love them even more once I've tweaked them to fit our needs; I'm actually really bad at relationship-building, but I do have an intuitive sense of what my daughter needs that usually proves to be accurate; there is again that conflict avoidance, perfectionism, and burnout; and I do prefer a trusted curriculum that I can adapt, whether it's structured or loose to begin with.

 

INTJ: I have zero tolerance for stupidity; I don't view myself as "unconventional," yet I somehow always end up doing my own thing anyway, which is rarely what everyone around me is doing; I LOVE creating a system and a plan for homeschooling, and I do follow through, but I'd actually prefer to hire a private tutor to do the follow through; I'm good at problem-solving; I seem pretty confident if you hear my intellectual assessment of my abilities--yet I never actually *feel* the confidence that my brain tells me I should feel; a goal is to foster independence in my child who seems to be resisting independence with everything she has in her; I cannot handle noise and hubbub; I totally obsess; I'm not good at showing affection; I notice emotional and physical cues when I'm paying attention but I'm often not paying attention. I do like scripted curriculum, but only if I can tweak the script. I research curriculum like mad and prefer to use curriculum that I can tell has been well-researched and is logical. We have very few outside commitments. STEM is very important, and if I had to choose that or the humanities, I'd choose STEM, but I really want it all.

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I'm an INFJ. The description rang fairly true. I do prefer to start with preplanned curriculum. I have two kids with special needs and have other priorities than building curricula from scratch. I prefer the personalityjunkie website whenever I get a Meyers-Briggs jones. It focus quite a bit on the differences among the intuitive types, which I found helpful.

 

Because of their extroverted feeling function and their ability to make "snap judgements" via intuition, INFJs appear outwardly decisive, but because of their ability to see all sides of an issue, do a lot of internal second guessing people never see, so I think that they could certainly be described as both confident and self-doubting. When a person operates via internal intuition as their default mode of being, they perceive a lot of things other people don't, which leads to self-doubt on a regular basis, as even intuition is sometimes incorrect, only partly correct, or correct, but not germane to the situation at hand. 

 

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I am strongly INTJ,  I think my lowest percentage was in the mid-70's.   You described me pretty well.  Although, I do liberally add outside activities because DD is very much an E.   I don't know about the rest, but definitely an E.  I gave serious thought when DD was a baby to starting an Antisocial Playdate group.   The theme would be that the kids play and socialized, while the adults ignored each other.   But, then that involved organizing a social activity, which is problem.  

 

I especially appreciated the part about INTJ's being disproportionally represented in homeschooling.  That makes sense to me.  

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I gave serious thought when DD was a baby to starting an Antisocial Playdate group. The theme would be that the kids play and socialized, while the adults ignored each other. But, then that involved organizing a social activity, which is problem.

 

ME TOO!!! That would have been awesome. But now we go to a park day where I have nothing in common with any of the other mothers so I can sit and read and the kids can play.

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I gave serious thought when DD was a baby to starting an Antisocial Playdate group. The theme would be that the kids play and socialized, while the adults ignored each other. But, then that involved organizing a social activity, which is problem.

We paid for parents night out, and for gym and swimming class that doesn't need parent participation for that reason.

 

We could watch our kids gym or swim without obligations to chat with other waiting parents. With parents night out, we could go for a stroll down shopping streets and unwind.

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That is still hard for me as my memories from toddler onwards is of being a diplomatic kid (youngest grandchild) in a big extended family.

I understand that. Which types are you trying to choose between?

 

ETA: never mind, I scrolled up.

 

Okay so you're certain you're an intuitive. Here is a shorthand way I use to bar ow down the others.

 

Do you need to think first and then talk, or do you need to talk through things to know what you think? Do you chat up strangers in line or at the doctor's office to make waiting faster?

 

When you read about something terrible that has happened to strangers, do you think, "oh how terrible" and move on or does it keep popping up in your mind over the course of the day. When someone has a problem, are you a fixer? When your child is sad do you get lost in their feelings and imagine what you would feel? Or are you more likely to try to help them get to the bottom of what happened?

 

Do you feel better leaving doors and windows open as long as possible on a decision? Or do you prefer to get the decision made and check it off your list? Do you like plan out your dinner schedule or would you rather go to the store (or get someone to shop for you!) every couple of days depending on your mood?

 

Remember, you want to answer based on what feels natural and comfortable and how you prefer to operate if you could be completely self-centered. Don't answer based on how you've learned to mold yourself.

 

If I had to guess based purely on your posts, I would guess INTJ, with INTP as a close second.

Edited by Barb_
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If I had to guess based purely on your posts, I would guess INTJ, with INTP as a close second.

NT is definate.

 

J/P hard to say because while I am a planner, I enjoy the adrenaline rush of meeting urgent deadlines. While I like my kids outside classes to be on a fixed schedule, I am all too happy to change it if the teacher request. Kind of like I make a plan for the fun of it than throw it out of the window. I don't follow plans unless it is a paid job.

 

E/I is confusing too because I was the chatterbox from preK to 12th and sent to time out for preK to 6th. I can chat with anyone anywhere including babies and pets just because I am bored. On the other hand I can be so quiet for hours that no one remembers I am around until they do a roll call before leaving a place. I can live without quiet time but I need to chat (including texting international friends) daily. I also need to leave my house daily so we go to the library and/or supermarket daily.

 

ETA:

My boys get a score of around 40%E 60% I on the different ones we tried.

Edited by Arcadia
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I'm a borderline ISTJ/ISFJ but the description of the ISTJ fits me better here.  I'm a major researcher, always looking for the right thing, and can be very black and white.  I'm not however drawn to boxed curriculum.  I very much like to pick and choose based off what I think is right for each of my children. 

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NT is definate.

 

J/P hard to say because while I am a planner, I enjoy the adrenaline rush of meeting urgent deadlines. While I like my kids outside classes to be on a fixed schedule, I am all too happy to change it if the teacher request. Kind of like I make a plan for the fun of it than throw it out of the window. I don't follow plans unless it is a paid job.

 

E/I is confusing too because I was the chatterbox from preK to 12th and sent to time out for preK to 6th. I can chat with anyone anywhere including babies and pets just because I am bored. On the other hand I can be so quiet for hours that no one remembers I am around until they do a roll call before leaving a place. I can live without quiet time but I need to chat (including texting international friends) daily. I also need to leave my house daily so we go to the library and/or supermarket daily.

 

ETA:

My boys get a score of around 40%E 60% I on the different ones we tried.

Interesting! It sounds like you come down harder on the side of P than J. You sound a lot like me and my ENFP daughter. I love to plan but the fun of it is research and fitting everything in. I can do the execution part, but I take not pleasure in checking off boxes. I'm perfectly happy to replan if things don't seem to be working out the way I'd hoped.

 

Your E/I is a little harder although you sound more like an E.

 

Try looking up descriptors of ENTP. That one wasn't on your original list of possibilities I don't think. ENTPs can also come off as feelers and tend to be more in tune to others' emotional states and nonverbal communication than other Thinker types. They are chameleons and mirror heavily. That's why sometimes we can be described as "manipulative." It's easy for us to see through others' motivations and consciously or unconsciously get them to agree with us. It's a talent we take for granted. It's not that we're pretending to be someone else, it's more that we accidentally slip into another's rhythms.

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Try looking up descriptors of ENTP. That one wasn't on your original list of possibilities I don't think.

It is. I think my F skillset was horned by my extended family. If my choice of careers since I was very young was engineer, lawyer and auditor (all three about equal in liking), what do you think? I was also called the little emperor :lol:

 

"Going purely by the descriptions on page, I would be a blend of INTJ, ENTP, ENTJ for strengths & struggles, a blend of INFP, ENFJ for style."

 

I did the Meyer Briggs in 12th grade (1990) as part of career planning but I forgot what I ended up with.

 

ETA:

Hubby is probably a NT too and our boys are both headstrong :lol: life is entertaining even when it sounds like civil war.

 

After reading how ENTP and ENTJ are in the workplace and also in parenting, I'm a blend of both.

Edited by Arcadia
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Tested my oldest earlier today and he got EFJ (the kiddie one didn't give the S/N claiming it doesn't become clear until they're teenagers). Weirdly enough, he fits the EFJ kid description pretty well (except for understanding other people's feelings - he does have autism). I can't see him in either the ENFJ nor the ESFJ description though (maybe because they seemed to talk more about being good at understanding other people's feelings).

 

Is there also a list somewhere for how kids of various types would most like to be homeschooled? INTP parent with EFJ kid is probably not the most intuitive combination.

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I know that my J students prefer to know what is coming next, what is expected of them, and when they will be done. They thrive on routine and even checklists and open ended projects and rabbit trails stress them out. I started out all loosey-goosey and unschoolish with my oldest and turned her into a bundle of anxiety by the time she was 10. I'm an ENTP and she's an E/INTJ

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Awesome! Thanks for that feedback, okbud. The INFJs I know are not ones that make up their own plan, so perhaps I let my experience with individuals color my generalization about the type.

 

I will be looking back over my books and editing that section. I wonder if the self-doubt I have seen (I've talked several INFJs through homeschool choices) is because they have multiple children and want to do what's absolutely best for each one and feels pulled in multiple directions.

 

INFJs hate conflict though; refuting people on the internet is more an INTJ thing to do. ;)

Are you sure they aren't infp ? That sounds very infp to me.

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Mystie, I'm looking through more of the stuff you have on your site, and I'm really interested if you write more about working with your children who have different personality traits!

 

I'm finding that I, definitely I and J, am in awe of my sunshiney easygoing middle child who is almost certainly E and P. He's very different from me in some ways, and he fascinates me because he's just so fun to watch. I see how the part of the personality that I share with one child gives me a way to bond with that child, while a different part helps me bond with another child. None of my children are my complete opposite (but I'm also super borderline for S and N -- when I took the test a few months ago, it came out as 1% S, so it seems that I vacillate between the two, which probably helps).

 

I'm surprised at how many Is are actually homeschoolers. That's definitely a challenge for me sometimes. I love children, always wanted a bunch of them, always wanted to homeschool them, and I love doing that, but being strongly I (last time it said 86%), sometimes the reality of lots of activity, lots of people is hard for me. I'm also married to a very strongly I partner, so while we don't clash in the sense that one of us wants to throw parties on the weekends and the other doesn't, sometimes our need for recharging solo means that we can take each other for granted. It can be hard when I need a break from caring for everyone else and need someone to care for me at the same time as my partner is all peopled out and needs not to be giving of himself for a while. (Enter middle child, haha -- actually, that's true. He often has more love to give people who need to be cared for.)

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Some people are harder to type because they straddle one or more of the modalities. A couple of my kids are that way. One thing that helps is to remember the way you were as a child. Everyone changes as they age. They learn to play up their strengths and mitigate weaknesses. But the Meyers Briggs is intended to describe nature and preferences. You may be a thinker who has trained yourself to be more empathetic as you raised your children, but that doesn't mean you've suddenly turned into a feeler. You have to ask yourself, do I have a harder time stirring up empathy for people I don't know (T) or do I have a harder time putting aside my feelings to see a situation for what it really is (F)? Do I have a harder time setting aside work to have fun (J) or do have a harder time setting aside fun to get to work (P)?

 

Another way to figure it out is to take the test for children. What were you naturally like as a child? That's often more accurate because as an adult we naturally learn to express our weaker traits. That's self-actualization. Go back as far as you remember. That's your nature--your natural preferences. Personality is environment working on and with your nature.

 

Lastly, another way to figure out what you are is to figure out what you aren't. Every nature has a shadow. The shadow is what comes out under stress. So if you suspect you are an intj, th negative traits of ESFP come out under duress. So you can google Meyers Briggs shadows and see which sounds like you when you're stressed out.

Do you have any handy questions to help me sort out if I'm an S or an N? I really don't know which I am.

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Mystie, I'm looking through more of the stuff you have on your site, and I'm really interested if you write more about working with your children who have different personality traits!

 

I'm finding that I, definitely I and J, am in awe of my sunshiney easygoing middle child who is almost certainly E and P. He's very different from me in some ways, and he fascinates me because he's just so fun to watch. I see how the part of the personality that I share with one child gives me a way to bond with that child, while a different part helps me bond with another child. None of my children are my complete opposite (but I'm also super borderline for S and N -- when I took the test a few months ago, it came out as 1% S, so it seems that I vacillate between the two, which probably helps).

 

I'm surprised at how many Is are actually homeschoolers. That's definitely a challenge for me sometimes. I love children, always wanted a bunch of them, always wanted to homeschool them, and I love doing that, but being strongly I (last time it said 86%), sometimes the reality of lots of activity, lots of people is hard for me. I'm also married to a very strongly I partner, so while we don't clash in the sense that one of us wants to throw parties on the weekends and the other doesn't, sometimes our need for recharging solo means that we can take each other for granted. It can be hard when I need a break from caring for everyone else and need someone to care for me at the same time as my partner is all peopled out and needs not to be giving of himself for a while. (Enter middle child, haha -- actually, that's true. He often has more love to give people who need to be cared for.)

 

The I's as homeschool parent does not surprise me one bit.   When you think about it, an Introvert is much likely to have bad memories of spending hours and hours and hours and days and days and days being surrounded by people, people and more people.    Bad memories of a parent's own public school experience will shorten the trigger to switch to homeschooling.  

 

Can you tell I have bad memories?   It wasn't even that I went to a bad school, relatively.   It was one of those school districts that people moved into for the schools.  But, it still sucked.   Starting about 7th grade, I could have happily and independently homeschooled myself with a Sonlight core with lots of expansions as a latchkey kid.  

 

I, too, have a sunshiny easy kid and I am in awe of her.   I am a pretty happy person.   But, I'm happy in a content way.  DD is happy in a light-up-the-room way.  Sometimes I look at her and think, where does this wonderfulness come from?  

 

Edited by shawthorne44
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The I's as homeschool parent does not surprise me one bit. When you think about it, an Introvert is much likely to have bad memories of spending hours and hours and hours and days and days and days being surrounded by people, people and more people. Bad memories of a parent's own public school experience will shorten the trigger to switch to homeschooling.

 

Okay, actually, when you point it out like that, it makes total sense. I definitely have not-great memories of social stuff and not fitting in with the crowd, and it definitely colored my perspective of how I wanted to school my kids. The desire for my children to be viewed individually and for their uniqueness to be celebrated is very strong for me, so I can see why others like me would also choose homeschooling.

 

 

I, too, have a sunshiny easy kid and I am in awe of her. I am a pretty happy person. But, I'm happy in a content way. DD is happy in a light-up-the-room way. Sometimes I look at her and think, where does this wonderfulness come from?

Yes, exactly. It's so amazing! He will answer, "Everyone!" when asked who he played with; the list of names will go on and on. Only big kids around? He will happily join up and be a big kid. Only little kids? No problem; he will jump right in and orchestrate an activity for them all. All kids are busy? Well, shoot, surely one of the adults will be willing to listen to him chatter. Life is a grand adventure, something to relish in each moment, and he makes each person feel at ease. We joke that one lifetime will never be enough for all he wants to experience, and he'll need like fifty kids to satisfy all his relationship needs. When he was not quite three, and his first little brother was born, he was bringing his toys to share with his hours-old brother, utterly thrilled that he now had a built-in best buddy for life. Edited by happypamama
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Do you have any handy questions to help me sort out if I'm an S or an N? I really don't know which I am.

The N/S question can be tough, especially when you are on the border.

 

As a child and teen, how did you feel about growing up? Did thinking about the future mostly worry or even scare you or did it energize and inspire you? (S then N)

 

Do you naturally come up with your own systems and ways to do things or do you feel better sticking with the tried and true regardless of who came up with it? (N then S)

 

Do you prefer to talk about events or the future implications of those events (facts or ideas?) (S then N)

 

Do you prefer to learn neat new facts or muse on theory? (S then N)

 

As a child were you more dreamy and imaginative or more practical grounded? (N then S)

 

Do you prefer to use a Saxon style spiral approach to math or would you rather use Singapore or beast academy and dig into the whys? (S then N)

 

Are you a whole to parts learner (show me the big picture first so I can fit in the details where they need to go) or a sequential learner (give me the pieces one at a time and I'll build you whatever you want)? (N then S)

 

Lastly, to you have trouble seeing the forest for all the trees in your way? Or do you concentrate on the forest and miss the trees? (S then N)

 

I think the N/S question is the most important to answer because it describes how you approach learning, working, playing, problem solving, spirituality, and your world view. Sensors prefer the practical, the applied, and the proven. Intuitives prefer the novel, the theoretical and the what-ifs. it can be quite difficult for one type to fully comprehend how differently the other type approaches life inside his or her head. Extroverted sensors and introverted intuitives have the toughest time understanding each other I think. The extroverted sensor can be such a big personality that the introverted intuitive wants to cry. The introverted intuitive can seem secretive and moody and completely confusing to the extroverted sensor.

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I started out all loosey-goosey and unschoolish with my oldest and turned her into a bundle of anxiety by the time she was 10. I'm an ENTP and she's an E/INTJ

DS11 likes 1/12 checkbox 11/12 unschool. Works for us because he can finish his 3Rs hyper fast and be happy chasing rabbit trails the rest of the day.

He propose spending a month of test prep for sat history tests and just do what he like (documentaries, books, cartoons, comics) for history for the rest of the year :lol:

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DS11 likes 1/12 checkbox 11/12 unschool. Works for us because he can finish his 3Rs hyper fast and be happy chasing rabbit trails the rest of the day.

He propose spending a month of test prep for sat history tests and just do what he like (documentaries, books, cartoons, comics) for history for the rest of the year :lol:

My ENFP daughter was my most fun student. She was the closest to me in style and loved to go in rabbit trails with me. She never needed a schedule, she just got things done. It was awesome, but she has alas since graduated 😋

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I'm basically an XSFJ.  I'm usually seen as an E in contrast to my husband, who is an extreme I.  I didn't find that your descriptions fit me very well at all.  As an ESFJ, I do enjoy having the family together at meals, etc., but we tend to actually do work separately when we're "schooling."  This is necessary for my peace of mind, due to the noise level of all three girls in one room.  As an ISFJ, I would agree that I have a hard time dealing with push-back (I hold the line, just find it very wearing), but I wouldn't say that I always stay in the background and don't draw attention to myself - I'm a performer by training and use it often in my teaching.

 

If I were to decide my letters from the descriptions that you give, I would be a combination of ISTJ and ESTJ.  I love being in the details and frequently struggle with being too structured to flex as needed.  

 

It was an interesting read though - thanks for taking the time to put it together!

 

Mama Anna

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The N/S question can be tough, especially when you are on the border.

 

As a child and teen, how did you feel about growing up? Did thinking about the future mostly worry or even scare you or did it energize and inspire you? (S then N)

 

Do you naturally come up with your own systems and ways to do things or do you feel better sticking with the tried and true regardless of who came up with it? (N then S)

 

Do you prefer to talk about events or the future implications of those events (facts or ideas?) (S then N)

 

Do you prefer to learn neat new facts or muse on theory? (S then N)

 

As a child were you more dreamy and imaginative or more practical grounded? (N then S)

 

Do you prefer to use a Saxon style spiral approach to math or would you rather use Singapore or beast academy and dig into the whys? (S then N)

 

Are you a whole to parts learner (show me the big picture first so I can fit in the details where they need to go) or a sequential learner (give me the pieces one at a time and I'll build you whatever you want)? (N then S)

 

Lastly, to you have trouble seeing the forest for all the trees in your way? Or do you concentrate on the forest and miss the trees? (S then N)

 

I think the N/S question is the most important to answer because it describes how you approach learning, working, playing, problem solving, spirituality, and your world view. Sensors prefer the practical, the applied, and the proven. Intuitives prefer the novel, the theoretical and the what-ifs. it can be quite difficult for one type to fully comprehend how differently the other type approaches life inside his or her head. Extroverted sensors and introverted intuitives have the toughest time understanding each other I think. The extroverted sensor can be such a big personality that the introverted intuitive wants to cry. The introverted intuitive can seem secretive and moody and completely confusing to the extroverted sensor.

I literally just split right down the middle with those questions, lol. 

 

I love carving my own path, but I can also be very pragmatic. Definitely whole to parts. Not super imaginative in the artistic or fantasy sense, but I have created several events/organizations based on a vision of what I saw as possible (co-op, research fair, fundraising events). But when my dh starts dreaming up big plans, I'm the ultimate dream killer, because I just start ticking down all of the practical implications. I like status quo when something is at stake, but I will gladly throw the map out the window and wing my way to a destination for the fun of it.

 

I think I'm right on the line. I'm also definitely an I, but it's pretty weak. I'm a social I. So maybe my E/I and S/N ambiguity means that no MBTI description will ever fit me. 

 

Interesting what you say about S/N being so important. I've always felt that J/P is my biggest head butt zone. I can spot a J from a mile away. DH is a strong J and I am a strong P. That is by far our biggest conflict point.

 

 

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I literally just split right down the middle with those questions, lol.

 

I love carving my own path, but I can also be very pragmatic. Definitely whole to parts. Not super imaginative in the artistic or fantasy sense, but I have created several events/organizations based on a vision of what I saw as possible (co-op, research fair, fundraising events). But when my dh starts dreaming up big plans, I'm the ultimate dream killer, because I just start ticking down all of the practical implications. I like status quo when something is at stake, but I will gladly throw the map out the window and wing my way to a destination for the fun of it.

 

I think I'm right on the line. I'm also definitely an I, but it's pretty weak. I'm a social I. So maybe my E/I and S/N ambiguity means that no MBTI description will ever fit me.

 

Interesting what you say about S/N being so important. I've always felt that J/P is my biggest head butt zone. I can spot a J from a mile away. DH is a strong J and I am a strong P. That is by far our biggest conflict point.

It could be that you are more N than you think. If you were a strong S you might see more of a conflict. Also, in my experience, it has been easier for my Intuitive teens to learn pragmatism than it has been for my sensors to pick up intuitive qualities. Or you could be just a split :)

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At only 1-2% of the population, you can not know very many, so I'd say that's a coincidence. Plus INFJ's are notoriously mysterious. Whatever that means. I take it to mean hard to get close to.

 

Certainly I and the one single other INFJ person I know irl have experienced the troubling phenomenon of people saying things about us that are not remotely copacetic with how we actually think, hundreds of times.

 

Perhaps insofar as you are seeing something interpreted as "doubt," that it is actually "authenticity checks." A gut-check. Wherein one is not actually feeling self-doubt, but rather talking through a thought-process for the benefit of the listener. INFJs tend to make snap decisions (and be right about them) but find other types want them to spell it out.

 

[Also please note that there is almost no way of speaking about being an infj that doesn't sound "full of it" to other types. There are a lot of really terrible free, self-published, kindle books about just this thing. Square pegs and all that. We KNOW how we sound, but what can be done?]

agree^^

 

My husband is an INFJ...(who crosses over to INTJ)

 

They are very hard to really get to know.

People THINK they might know them but most people do NOT know them.

THey make quick decisions because they have already researched the topic and therefore their decision seems quick but it's really not

 

When they know nothing on a topic, they SAY nothing on a topic, so the people around them see them as "so arrogant" but in reality that's because they only weigh in, when they really know what they are talking about- so the perception is "Oh that guy thinks he knows it all,...have you ever heard him be wrong?"  

 

My own husband does have a VERY insecure inner self.  He comes off as bold, loud, talkative when with people who he thinks he can help/teach/share....he looks confident.  But inside he is definitely struggling with insecurity.  He is constantly wondering if his gut is truly correct and re-examining it.

 

I don't know how that would affect curriculum/homeschooling.  As a dad he is pretty confident.  He doesn't tend to hem and haw over decisions such as helping to choose a house or a car, or whether or not homeschool, etc.  So if he were a homeschool dad/mom I can't say that I would categorize him as insecure or lacking confidence.  

 

The way in which INFJs lack confidence is not in outward decisions...

 

Not sure I am making any sense...I would say it is likely your INFJ is a crossover, or that she isn't a typical INFJ example.  You are not likely to have another INFJ real life friend.  I also (ESTJ moment here, sorry) question if your IRL INFJ friend really is one.

 

:o) 

 

I loved your post overall though, by the way!!!

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INTP. Mostly right, but not sure about:

 

"Because coming to a decision is difficult for INTPs, after exhaustive research, they are happiest choosing a ready-to-go program that supports their commitment to wide and varied study."

 

What is a "ready-to-go program"? And how does "choosing" work? (okay, the former was a real question, the latter a joke)

 

I know several INTP homeschool moms and they are all using Ambleside Online. :) In fact, the group of ladies who wrote it are predominantly INTPs - exhaustive research, not the most organized website. :)

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INTP. Mostly right, but not sure about:

 

"Because coming to a decision is difficult for INTPs, after exhaustive research, they are happiest choosing a ready-to-go program that supports their commitment to wide and varied study."

 

What is a "ready-to-go program"? And how does "choosing" work? (okay, the former was a real question, the latter a joke)

 

I know several INTP homeschool moms and they are all using Ambleside Online. :) In fact, the group of ladies who wrote it are predominantly INTPs - exhaustive research, not the most organized website. :)

 

Agreeing with luukname here...

 

Don't mean to quibble here, and it's JMO, but I see Ambleside as more of a nicely researched reading list and suggested resources to be used as a springboard for your own exploration and discussion -- and not what I would call a ready-to-go curriculum such as CLE, Abeka, Tapestry of Grace, or Sonlight.

 

Probably because I am married to an INTP "wordsmith" (precision of language is king ;) ), but ready-to-go is usually the term used by homeschoolers to mean a complete or boxed curriculum, or a program that is open-and-go -- so all the teaching instruction, workbook questions, answers, projects, and day-by-day schedule are all in one place and the parent doesn't tend to need/want to do any thinking or research beyond what's already included in the program. Those types of ready-to-go programs or complete curricula are highly structured and not as easily adaptable as Ambleside, or the WTM, or other looser list-based types of curriculum guides that naturally require and invite bringing in your own choice of resources, or leave room for bunny trailing. :)

 

Just my 2 cents worth! :) Again, thanks for sharing, as understanding both one's own personality type as well as those of one's children really enhances the homeschooling experience and success! :) Warmest regards, Lori D.

Edited by Lori D.
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Agreeing with luukname here...

 

Don't mean to quibble here, and it's JMO, but I see Ambleside as more of a nicely researched reading list and suggested resources to be used as a springboard for your own exploration and discussion -- and not what I would call a ready-to-go curriculum such as CLE, Abeka, Tapestry of Grace, or Sonlight.

 

Probably because I am married to an INTP "wordsmith" (precision of language is king ;) ), but ready-to-go is usually the term used by homeschoolers to mean a complete or boxed curriculum, or a program that is open-and-go -- so all the teaching instruction, workbook questions, answers, projects, and day-by-day schedule are all in one place and the parent doesn't tend to need/want to do any thinking or research beyond what's already included in the program. Those types of ready-to-go programs or complete curricula are highly structured and not as easily adaptable as Ambleside, or the WTM, or other looser list-based types of curriculum guides that naturally require and invite bringing in your own choice of resources, or leave room for bunny trailing. :)

 

Just my 2 cents worth! :) Again, thanks for sharing, as understanding both one's own personality type as well as those of one's children really enhances the homeschooling experience and success! :) Warmest regards, Lori D.

Also, all the INTPs here seem to use more out of the box stuff, maybe we are type A motivated firstborn children INTPs or something, or maybe what LoriD said.

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I think it is totally worth pointing out that this test has almost no status in psychology, and the reasons for that are quite interesting, but this Guardian guy hasn't got a clue - his main thing seems to be that people "have" to be in a complete binary opposite, but anyone who knows a bit about the test knows that is hogwash - people are put on a scale for all the tested catagories, and many people do in fact hover right on the line.

 

It's also true that people's results change over time, and they should - people get better (normally) at using their less dominant traits as they age, and also come to see their value.

 

I gave this test to a pysch class I was teaching.   One kid was 50%+-5% on everything.   He asked me what that meant.  I had to say, "Don't know". 

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I gave this test to a pysch class I was teaching. One kid was 50%+-5% on everything. He asked me what that meant. I had to say, "Don't know".

He has a very adaptable personality :lol:

 

My kids scores also hover around the 50%. They also hover around the 50% for the left brain right brain test.

 

My E/I is 53%E. However when we came to the states, I felt so isolated because I was used to being surrounded by people. When you are used to overcrowded public transit and bus stops/train stations overflowing with people, not seeing that many humans feels eerie.

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agree^^

 

My husband is an INFJ...(who crosses over to INTJ)

 

They are very hard to really get to know.

People THINK they might know them but most people do NOT know them.

THey make quick decisions because they have already researched the topic and therefore their decision seems quick but it's really not

 

When they know nothing on a topic, they SAY nothing on a topic, so the people around them see them as "so arrogant" but in reality that's because they only weigh in, when they really know what they are talking about- so the perception is "Oh that guy thinks he knows it all,...have you ever heard him be wrong?"  

 

My own husband does have a VERY insecure inner self.  He comes off as bold, loud, talkative when with people who he thinks he can help/teach/share....he looks confident.  But inside he is definitely struggling with insecurity.  He is constantly wondering if his gut is truly correct and re-examining it.

 

I don't know how that would affect curriculum/homeschooling.  As a dad he is pretty confident.  He doesn't tend to hem and haw over decisions such as helping to choose a house or a car, or whether or not homeschool, etc.  So if he were a homeschool dad/mom I can't say that I would categorize him as insecure or lacking confidence.  

 

The way in which INFJs lack confidence is not in outward decisions...

 

Not sure I am making any sense...I would say it is likely your INFJ is a crossover, or that she isn't a typical INFJ example.  You are not likely to have another INFJ real life friend.  I also (ESTJ moment here, sorry) question if your IRL INFJ friend really is one.

 

:o) 

 

I loved your post overall though, by the way!!!

 

Yes, you made sense! I'm an INFJ married to an ESTJ. Both of us have been professionally typed three times in adulthood, so there's no question about it.  I think your assessment here is accurate. I also think it's sweet how you've done what it takes to get to know your INFJ, as my husband has. 

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I am an XNTJ (Right on the border between I and E quite consistently) and both fit me quite well. I think I'm more I than E, but the "finds communities even if she has to create them herself" is me all the way. And I think my DD is another one-an introverted person who needs to recharge, and who creates groups and projects and makes them happen when she sees a need.

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shocked at how many "I" s there are...I am not an extreme extrovert, I do need time alone, but after I thought about it, I realized that it does make sense that a lot of homeschool moms are "I"s !  

 

In fact my biggest homeschool struggle is that I love a structured community.  I love to be with people in a structured community setting, accomplishing common goals.  I LOVED SCHOOL.  I MISS SCHOOL.  

 

But my kids are very outside-the-box people as far as their learning so school would not be ideal for them.  However, I am SO SUPER glad for our enrichment co-op because it is great for my ENFP.  

 

 

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Awesome! Thanks for that feedback, okbud. The INFJs I know are not ones that make up their own plan, so perhaps I let my experience with individuals color my generalization about the type.

 

I will be looking back over my books and editing that section. I wonder if the self-doubt I have seen (I've talked several INFJs through homeschool choices) is because they have multiple children and want to do what's absolutely best for each one and feels pulled in multiple directions.

 

INFJs hate conflict though; refuting people on the internet is more an INTJ thing to do. ;)

The description for the INFJ fit me exact ally. Even though we infj's are intuitive and often just know what to do, there is also always a sense that maybe what we are doing isn't perfect enough. That we wish we could do more to meet each of our children's needs.

Thank you so much for all your work in putting that together!

 

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

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The N/S question can be tough, especially when you are on the border.

 

As a child and teen, how did you feel about growing up? Did thinking about the future mostly worry or even scare you or did it energize and inspire you? (S then N)

 

Do you naturally come up with your own systems and ways to do things or do you feel better sticking with the tried and true regardless of who came up with it? (N then S)

 

Do you prefer to talk about events or the future implications of those events (facts or ideas?) (S then N)

 

Do you prefer to learn neat new facts or muse on theory? (S then N)

 

As a child were you more dreamy and imaginative or more practical grounded? (N then S)

 

Do you prefer to use a Saxon style spiral approach to math or would you rather use Singapore or beast academy and dig into the whys? (S then N)

 

Are you a whole to parts learner (show me the big picture first so I can fit in the details where they need to go) or a sequential learner (give me the pieces one at a time and I'll build you whatever you want)? (N then S)

 

Lastly, to you have trouble seeing the forest for all the trees in your way? Or do you concentrate on the forest and miss the trees? (S then N)

 

I think the N/S question is the most important to answer because it describes how you approach learning, working, playing, problem solving, spirituality, and your world view. Sensors prefer the practical, the applied, and the proven. Intuitives prefer the novel, the theoretical and the what-ifs. it can be quite difficult for one type to fully comprehend how differently the other type approaches life inside his or her head. Extroverted sensors and introverted intuitives have the toughest time understanding each other I think. The extroverted sensor can be such a big personality that the introverted intuitive wants to cry. The introverted intuitive can seem secretive and moody and completely confusing to the extroverted sensor.

Interesting. This probably explains why although I love Singapore my s son doesn't.

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Ugh, I'm an INTJ with the indecisiveness of an INTP. And my oldest intense child is a loud, messy, rough-and-tumble extrovert. If he didn't like to read so much I'd absolutely go insane. DH is an ISTP and some days we barely hold on with the NOISE, mess, and EMOTIONAL DRAMA. Tigger is so, so oblivious to stuff. I'm thinking he is an ENTx...but the jury is still out. (I'm getting books from the library to help me figure it out. It's been about five years since I tried to type him.)

 

My youngest seems to be a very friendly introvert. I'll have to look through the books, but I'm thinking IS(?)Fx. It's hard to tell if he is very emotionally in tune for his age (6) or if it just seems that way because he is so different from my oldest. He is my little ray of sunshine that reminds me that I can't be a total screw up to have such a thoughtful, generous child. (He also reminds me of how inborn temperament is.)

 

I agree with the part about INTJs not being willing to tolerate stupidity. Sometimes I wonder why, oh why, I "torture" myself with trying to teach my oldest.  :leaving:  Then I remember that dealing with the local schools would be the ultimate exercise in tolerating stupidity. Someday, DH and I hope that our kids won't waste hours per day misbehaving, hiding from work, and generally making everything take way, way too long. I am a big fan of efficiency and there is nothing efficient about parenting two elementary kids.

Edited by HoppyTheToad
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Agreeing with luukname here...

 

Don't mean to quibble here, and it's JMO, but I see Ambleside as more of a nicely researched reading list and suggested resources to be used as a springboard for your own exploration and discussion -- and not what I would call a ready-to-go curriculum such as CLE, Abeka, Tapestry of Grace, or Sonlight.

 

Probably because I am married to an INTP "wordsmith" (precision of language is king ;) ), but ready-to-go is usually the term used by homeschoolers to mean a complete or boxed curriculum, or a program that is open-and-go -- so all the teaching instruction, workbook questions, answers, projects, and day-by-day schedule are all in one place and the parent doesn't tend to need/want to do any thinking or research beyond what's already included in the program. Those types of ready-to-go programs or complete curricula are highly structured and not as easily adaptable as Ambleside, or the WTM, or other looser list-based types of curriculum guides that naturally require and invite bringing in your own choice of resources, or leave room for bunny trailing. :)

 

Just my 2 cents worth! :) Again, thanks for sharing, as understanding both one's own personality type as well as those of one's children really enhances the homeschooling experience and success! :) Warmest regards, Lori D.

 

 

Yes, this - I'm INTP, and I've used things like Ambleside Online or SCM, but I don't consider those ready to go curricula.  More like systems or structures to allow you to put one together yourself.

 

In fact my biggest beef with AO is that they think they are some kind of set in stone thing.

 

I've never even been able to use a program like that without significant tweaking.  The one time I actually used a boxed program was because I was facing a difficult year, and I still ended up putting a fair number of things aside because I thought they were stupid.

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Meh .. I usually type INTP and I appreciate open and go curricula (says the person who has historically been consistent with nothing long term - thankfully I don't measure progress by what we've completed). They have served me well during certain seasons of life. They enabled me to obsess about other topics of interest besides Official School Stuff, or just deal with life, while still steadily covering subjects I wasn't interested in planning out myself at the time. 

 

 

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I think the N/S question is the most important to answer because it describes how you approach learning, working, playing, problem solving, spirituality, and your world view. Sensors prefer the practical, the applied, and the proven. Intuitives prefer the novel, the theoretical and the what-ifs. it can be quite difficult for one type to fully comprehend how differently the other type approaches life inside his or her head. Extroverted sensors and introverted intuitives have the toughest time understanding each other I think. The extroverted sensor can be such a big personality that the introverted intuitive wants to cry. The introverted intuitive can seem secretive and moody and completely confusing to the extroverted sensor.

 

Also, in my experience, it has been easier for my Intuitive teens to learn pragmatism than it has been for my sensors to pick up intuitive qualities. 

 

I need to show these quotes to some S's in my life, lol! I am surrounded by them, and they have very, very strong (extreme) S traits. I think I have one N in the household, but he's an NF, and the F is strong. Really, really strong. I wish I could capitalize better on the N. (INTJ here.) 

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Meh .. I usually type INTP and I appreciate open and go curricula (says the person who has historically been consistent with nothing long term - thankfully I don't measure progress by what we've completed). They have served me well during certain seasons of life. They enabled me to obsess about other topics of interest besides Official School Stuff, or just deal with life, while still steadily covering subjects I wasn't interested in planning out myself at the time.

Sometimes intp too and I totally agree. If I have to plan it I might obsess for ever over science and never get to planning the rest at all. I do best with open and go so I can have time to really get into what I'm interested in.

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