Anyone with an only child that needs tons of interaction?

[JulieA97]

We had hoped that this amazing private school would give us enough financial aid for our son to attend next year for Kindergarten. The official offer came in the mail today and there is no way we can swing it. So we are back to the drawing board.

 

He is an extreme extrovert and we are extremely introverted. He is in a wonderful play based preschool and loves going every day. He is at least one grade ahead on everything so the public school here would be a terrible fit. We live in a townhouse so no back yard to play in. We have a weekly co op we can join as well as Classical Conversations. I know how some feel about CC but its another day with other kids. Various sports are possibilities including swimming on the year around team.

 

I don't know that I can take care of his social needs. Academic I am not concerned about in the least. Dh isn't fully on board to homeschool and our extended family is completely against it.

 

Advice?

[73349]

One good thing about your choice being homeschool vs. public school is that if you find hs is just not working, you can go down to the ps any weekday morning and enroll him. :) Kindergarten is an opportunity for a low-stakes experiment. Maybe if you frame it that way with your DH--this is a decision for this year, not forever, and you could re-apply to the private school next year to see if it's more affordable--he'll be comfortable trying it out.

 

That said, since your DS is very outgoing and kindergarten is not going to take you much of the day, I'd try to line up something social most afternoons, such as

• the co-op you mentioned
• a recreational sport
• playing at a playground, maybe near or at the elementary school
• a scouting or outdoor club
• the Y or another gym with kids' activities
• a kids' art class.

 

Best wishes!

Edited February 21, 2016 by whitehawk

[Momling]

I'm all for enrolling kids in activities that give them exercise or social experiences, but don't forget the benefit of him learning how to entertain himself without your attention - being self-sufficient and not expecting of other's attention will be a benefit in the long run.

 

Also, grade level is a little bit arbitrary and in kindergarten there will be kids who don't know their alphabet and kids able to read adult length novels and a good kindergarten teacher is used to it. Homeschooling can be great too. It's nice to have options -- and like the previous posted said, you can always change your mind.

[tm919]

I'm all for enrolling kids in activities that give them exercise or social experiences, but don't forget the benefit of him learning how to entertain himself without your attention - being self-sufficient and not expecting of other's attention will be a benefit in the long run.

 

Also, grade level is a little bit arbitrary and in kindergarten there will be kids who don't know their alphabet and kids able to read adult length novels and a good kindergarten teacher is used to it. Homeschooling can be great too. It's nice to have options -- and like the previous posted said, you can always change your mind.

Yes, this is what came to mind reading your post. Is your local K a good place, other than the level of work? Or do you think it's a bad fit every which way?

 

My older daughter is a major extrovert and would be in a crowd of kids all day if she could. At home lately, she works 3+ years ahead but I chose to send her to the half-day K program at public school anyway (3 hrs, which includes circle time, a special or free play time, and recess each day, so relatively little actual seat work) and I'm reasonably happy with the decision. She is given a "bin" where she stores her books for when her seat time work is done. And that's on days when there isn't some special party or something. Of her class, 20% seem at least a year ahead based on where the reading groups are assigned so it's not uncommon... but that doesn't mean it's perfect. This would be a whole different story if the public school were a seriously academic full-day K design. Right now, it's just a fun social experience for her.

 

As far as the academic piece: She also goes to a half-day Montessori (more advanced work as she has moved through the years, e.g. book reports, researching & writing nonfiction, 4 digit addition/subtraction; with some additional social interaction), then typically spends a few hours playing with friends in the afternoon, then does afterschooling some days to shore up areas not covered as well in the Montessori half of the day, then after all this and read-alouds, she typically reads until the very second we turn off the lights. I do think that a child needs to be high energy to do all this and I wonder how long we can make it work. 

 

Anyway, I guess I just mean that there might be a way to combine various resources... it really depends on what resources are available to you though (if the local public K is awful for instance, that's not a good option).

Edited February 21, 2016 by tm919

[...................]

Not a fan of CC as far as academics.

But what I **am** a fan of is an organized well run co-ops or Enrichment that meet EVERY WEEK.

 

Its so wonderful for the kids to be able to look forward to that time with other kids every week, and it's good for mom too. Because of the prevalence of CC and huge co-ops the support groups have kind of taken a backseat and usually only meet monthly and for field trips.

 

i know that for some people CC doesn't work because they have kids that just don't fit the mold. And in the older grades it's very restrictive as far as schooling, so it's very important that your kids do fit the mold. But I think you should go ahead and join CC and enjoy the fellowship for the next 3 years. Until you get to Essentials it's purely enrichment and fellowship.

 

You should also be active in your community. My kids LOVED Awana and I CANNOT. Say enough good things about it. And it's nearly free.

 

You should also get involved in a sport or swim team. Many many of the kids in our local swim team are only children and having a sport that meets 5 days per week all year round is awesome. (You don't have to go that many days now- usually it's 3 days for the first few years) the swim team becomes like family. And it's a very healthy sport.

 

You should balance your schedule between low cost and high cost options and you should make sure he has some free time to dream, draw and yes even be alone. I like to stay home all day Monday's because I want to get a good start on the week being academic.

 

Hope these thoughts help.

[...................]

I would visit the co-op and check it out. Are the kids pretty well behaved? Is it pure enrichment or is homework assigned? Is it fun and age appropriate? Does the person teaching kindergarten really love it. Does it include some variety?

 

Same thing with CC. Nothing will be perfect but you should pick whichever one seems more fun and enjoyable. The day out with others shouldn't be overly academic nor should it be a disorganized rompa room.

 

:)

[AggieMama]

My city recreation center has homeschooling classes, both enrichment and physical eduction. You might want to look into that. You could also look into classes and clubs that fit his interests. As an only child, who loved being around people growing up, I think if I had the opportunity to be homeschooled I would have been perfectly happy if I'd had a social outlet 3-4 days a week. I think if I'd had an outside music, sport or two, and a social group I would have been good.

[Arcadia]

It depends on what kind of social interactions your child crave for. I was an only child for 8.5 years and almost never home. I could not do the same extracurricular activity more than once a week else I get bored with seeing the same group of humans. I could study at shopping malls, bus interchange, airports, anywhere with lots of people walking by. I love taking rides on public transport or walk down busy streets. I enjoy wedding banquets that has more than 300 guest.

 

I also did lots of volunteer work to satisfy my social needs. I am a fence straddler on those meyer briggs quiz for introvert/extrovert.

 

My kids are slightly introvert and they hate swimming class. There is no one to watch other than the same swimmers,coaches, lifeguards and parents. Bring them to a water park and they are overjoyed. DS10 (sports commentor personality) loves to chat whether online or in person. DS11 (referee personality) likes to just observe and not chat. Both however have the same percentage for E/I on the meyer briggs quiz.

 

When we pulled our oldest from B&M, the first year was tough because he didn't get his social needs met. We ramp out every year for both kids and it gets better until we don't need to ramp up anymore. All their outside classes are with different providers and with different kids.

 

What I meant to say is deal with it as it comes. Kids social needs change as they grow too.

Edited February 22, 2016 by Arcadia

[Cara4497]

We are in the same boat with a super social only who we will be homeschooling for K next year. I suggest talking to other homeschooling families. We've found out about some great programs that we wouldn't have known about other wise.