Mom2Five Posted February 19, 2016 Share Posted February 19, 2016 Just a kind PSA Just because a woman has five kids, it is not ok to assume that she is pregnant again. Grr. I am tiny at 5'2 and 115 lbs. I do admit that I kind of look a little pregnant because my stomach sticks out a little. I could stand to lose 10 lbs, but honestly my stomach will never be flat again unless I have surgery to reattach my stomach muscles. The dr tried to fix it a little during my last csection but he said it was so severe nothing could be done. I also have a hernia which doesn't help things. I have had several people come up and say (strangers in Walmart etc) oh and youre having another one! Umm, no, but thanks. I even had people say this when my son was 5 months old. Why would they not just assume it is left over baby when they see me with a baby that young. I walked into my parents house yesterday and the first words out of my mothers mouth were "oh please tell me you're not pregnant." She is really a lovely person (sarcasm). She hates children. OK rant over. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marbel Posted February 19, 2016 Share Posted February 19, 2016 :grouphug: :grouphug: I've learned never to make assumptions about people and their children, their looks, etc. (Having had incorrect assumptions made about me many times, as an older mom.) I'm sorry you are dealing with it, and particularly form your own mom! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoobie Posted February 19, 2016 Share Posted February 19, 2016 You never, ever assume anyone is pregnant unless a baby is currently emerging from her person! How rude! 15 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RootAnn Posted February 19, 2016 Share Posted February 19, 2016 Just a kind PSA I walked into my parents house yesterday and the first words out of my mothers mouth were "oh please tell me you're not pregnant." She is really a lovely person (sarcasm). She hates children. Are you sure we aren't sisters? My mom asked it only slightly nicer ("So, when were you going to tell us you're having another one?") BTDT - completely with the 5 in tow, but not so much on the weight or height. ;-) :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alisoncooks Posted February 19, 2016 Share Posted February 19, 2016 Blah! How annoying. If my mom had asked me that, I'd have said: "I am! And it's triplets!" And then let her freak out for a while before setting her straight... ;) ;) 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Junie Posted February 19, 2016 Share Posted February 19, 2016 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tsuga Posted February 19, 2016 Share Posted February 19, 2016 I walked into my parents house yesterday and the first words out of my mothers mouth were "oh please tell me you're not pregnant." :cursing: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 19, 2016 Share Posted February 19, 2016 Yeah, that is an assumption I never make, unless it could not be more obvious. Even then I hesitate. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted February 20, 2016 Share Posted February 20, 2016 Yup, unless you are in the labor room or at the baby shower, NEVER assume. I once had someone ask me when my baby was due (she'd known I was pregnant). Which would be fine if she wasn't an idiot and he wasn't already 8 months old. I'm still bitter. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted February 20, 2016 Share Posted February 20, 2016 Remember denim jumper dresses? I was wearing when my youngest dd's Sunday School teacher asked when I was due. I was so embarrassed to tell her I wasn't pregnant. It embarrassed her too! I went home and donated all my jumpers and stopped wearing any clothes that let my stomach poke out too much, and that was 14 years ago. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
athomeontheprairie Posted February 20, 2016 Share Posted February 20, 2016 (edited) My mom asked me that at our last family gathering. My wonderful dh was smiling/snickering in the corner. She would not believe my "No". It took months before she realized we weren't expecting more. OP, I'm sorry. Truly. Edited February 20, 2016 by athomeontheprairie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nevergiveup Posted February 20, 2016 Share Posted February 20, 2016 That's better than people assuming your kid is your grandkid. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gaillardia Posted February 20, 2016 Share Posted February 20, 2016 :grouphug: x10 I've been there. It is kind of weird for people to assume that all moms get right to the gym to flatten that stomach. One old lady from church used to take me aside and say as she was nodding her head, "when are you due?" more than once, after I had 7 children. And this one, "are you pregnant?" No. "oh, haha, just checking!" Really? That's not even funny. I am considered small also and weighed as much as 145 pregnant. There are a lot of us who get it. I have said, "Why would you ask me that?" which stopped the conversation right there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie G Posted February 20, 2016 Share Posted February 20, 2016 I'll be 55 in a month and last month I was in Joann's buying Star Wars fabric and the clerk asked me when I'm due. There were two other clerks at the cutting table and about 5 other customers waiting to have fabric cut. When she said that, I have never felt more solidarity...I was sure if I'd given a nod the other customers would have joined me in a takedown. And the other two clerks cutting fabric stopped what they were doing- they kind of looked like they were about to panic. What really bothers me is that it bothered me. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scoutingmom Posted February 21, 2016 Share Posted February 21, 2016 I had the opposite.... I was at church, and mentioned the expected baby and a member nearby (who saw me every week), said something like "Oh, you are expecting?? When are you due?"..... (me:) um, "6 days ago....." Inside I'm thinking.... you just assumed I was getting fatter? Sent from my SM-T530NU using Tapatalk 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eternalsummer Posted February 21, 2016 Share Posted February 21, 2016 That's better than people assuming your kid is your grandkid. I had short hair when I was 4 (Mom thought a pixie cut would be cute, ugh) and my dad was 51 then; he was gray early, too. I got mistaken for his grand*son* all the time. Obnoxious. I still remember it! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted February 21, 2016 Share Posted February 21, 2016 :grouphug: and if she is - it's not okay to ask if it was planned or an accident . . . . 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ElizabethB Posted February 21, 2016 Share Posted February 21, 2016 (edited) :grouphug: I knew a lady who was a pastor. She waited until I was 8 months pregant and wearing a maternity dress to congratulate me. I asked her just how fat she thought I was getting, and wasn't my belly pretty round? She said that in her line of work especially you could never be too sure, LOL. Edited February 21, 2016 by ElizabethB 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Professormom Posted February 21, 2016 Share Posted February 21, 2016 That's better than people assuming your kid is your grandkid. Lol, not related to pregnancy, but we went out a few months ago to a decent restaurant in a smaller town near us. We were with friends who are only about 5-6 years younger than me. The older female bartender knows our friends. As we sit at the bar, she asks my friend, "so, is this your mother?" :svengo: I was horrified. Granted, my friend has beautiful pale Irish skin so she looks slightly younger than she is, and Dh is 10 years older than I am and has lots of grey. But seriously!! I have always looked younger than I am, decent skin, etc. I wanted to crawl in a hole. (For weeks, I was trying to figure out if I had deluded myself into thinking I look better than I do:-) And then of course, you are trying to respond graciously, while you are trying to recover. She felt awful and went down the road that we look alike, but we really don't, lol. She was a very sweet lady, not at all passive aggressive or weird. I don't think she will ever do that again. I wish you luck. It sounds like you are being used to teach people some manners :lol: Well, maybe not your mother... For her, I like the idea upthread of saying you were expecting triplets. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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