Giftedness

[AnniePoo]

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Edited February 21, 2016 by AnniePoo

[mathnerd]

Though I have no idea about counseling etc. I have a child with anxiety about me (though he says that he is constantly looking for me because he loves me very much, it is obvious that he is anxious). He has serious sleep issues if I am not around.

 

Some things that have tremendously helped him are rigorous daily exercise (helped him control his anxiety and help him sleep better), omega 3 supplements, Vitamin D3 supplements, bedtime rituals, rigid schedule for bed time and guided meditation. I think that you can try these things as well in addition to whatever the counselor tells you.

 

As for making friends, you could try to enroll him for things like scouts, lego groups etc where he can meet peers and interact with them in a stress free setting.

 

Good luck.

 

 

ETA: Early in my struggle with my DS, I attended a talk by Dr John Ratey and he pretty much convinced me that brain function is related to physical exercise, which I have implemented for my son - http://sparkinglife.org/page/anxiety-disorders

 

 

 

 

A TEDx talk by Dr Ratey: 

 

 

Edited February 18, 2016 by mathnerd

[Arcadia]

Anxiety disorder is present across the spectrum and predisposition to anxiety is hereditary.

 

I would try out option 1 and option 2 and see which one works out better for your child. Who your child trust more. Worse case neither works for your child and you have to go with option 3.

[TranquilMind]

My 7yo son is bright.  I haven't a clue as to what his level of giftedness is, but he is working about 2 years ahead in math (could easily go faster but I have 3 other kids to work with), can spell anything with no formal spelling lessons, and has been reading well since he was 3 (self-taught).  He's shy, gets obsessed about various things and dives in, and has a hard time making friends (really, he's clueless).

 

Lately it's been clear that he is struggling with anxiety and things have not improved on their own.  If I leave the house after 6pm, he panics and sobs for hours.  His world comes crashing down pretty much every evening as he's going to bed (even when I'm home) and has regularly been staying up 3 hours past when we put him to bed (obsessing over random lego-building conundrums, questioning why he doest have a best friend, etc.)  

 

My sister mentioned to me that her niece and nephew on the other side of her family are both quite gifted and have needed help from a mental health professional.  Apparently it's quite common for gifted children to struggle with depression and anxiety?  We're at that point.

 

So, what do I look for in a counselor?  I am looking for someone who can help him find ways to calm down enough to sleep at night and handle social situations.  

 

Option 1) 3 minutes away.  Christian (our religion).  Specialty is anxiety disorders in all ages.  Highly recommended by a friend.

 

Option 2) 15-20 mins away.  One of those places that provides social work/counseling for traditional mental health issues and also provide OT services to many autistic children, help kids overcome dyslexia, etc.  

 

Option 3) Something else.

 

Both options take my insurance.  I had originally made an appt with option 2 thinking that they may have more experience dealing with kids with unique brains, but close-by is really quite appealing too.  

At only 7 years old,  I wouldn't worry much about him being attached to you and upset when you are gone, though the sobbing does seem a bit over the top.   I had one who really missed me when I wasn't home like that and this one is super-independent now in the teen years.  There were some signs of anxiety during those years but I perceived it as normal developmental stuff, and that entirely resolved itself. 

 

Not sure about the rest.   I hope you find some answers and it does resolve. 

[SparklyUnicorn]

I'd just try the closest place and see how that goes.  Sometimes it takes awhile to find the right person.  Ideally they have experience with children.

 

I do agree that his attachment is not necessarily some sort of mental disorder.  It is a bit over the top, but if you spend a lot of time with him he might just really be attached to you.  My younger kid was like that, but now at 10 he is fine with me leaving. 

[Pen]

I'd make appointments at both if you can. See which seems to bring out a spark in your son, if either. See whose approach makes more sense to you. In neither seem right, look for option 3. 

[AnniePoo]

I'm surprised that you all think his nighttime behavior is within the range of normal.  He's in serious emotional anguish when I leave.  Even now when I'm home, he panics at night and needs to hug/kiss me 100 times.  It wasn't like this until about 9 months ago.

 

 

I'd just try the closest place and see how that goes.  Sometimes it takes awhile to find the right person.  Ideally they have experience with children.

 

I do agree that his attachment is not necessarily some sort of mental disorder.  It is a bit over the top, but if you spend a lot of time with him he might just really be attached to you.  My younger kid was like that, but now at 10 he is fine with me leaving. 

I think we'll do this.  I just do not have it in me to start care at 2 different places.  I have 3 other kids that need a place to go and with initial kid-free appointments, it's just too much to pull off logistically.

 

 

[eternalsummer]

Could it be situational?  At that age my parents separated for a couple of years, and I couldn't sleep alone (in fact, I had very anxious insomnia for almost a decade, even after they got back together); while they were separated, if my mom left me at dad's for a day or two she had to wait until I was asleep to leave or I would cry for hours.

 

 

[maize]

Option 1 sounds good to me, but you'll just have to try them out to see if they work well with your child.

 

What you describe does sound like anxiety and maybe OCD. We have a therapist who works with my kids on anxiety, but it did take us multiple tries to find someone we like. She helps the kids brainstorm ideas to regulate their own emotional state when they are anxious, upset, angry, etc., and send them home with reminders to help them work on it during the week. Anxiety and other mental health challenges run in the family, so I figure it is better to start addressing these issues now before we hit some kind of a crisis. Building emotional resilience may just be THE most important part of their education.

Edited February 19, 2016 by maize