I was just asked take on Power of Attorney duties for someone going into nursing home tomorrow!

[Pen]

I don't want to post a lot of details.

 

The person is not my parent, but is related. There are not many other people available to take on the POA duties. Likely will not come out of the nursing home to live on own again, but could live for many years perhaps. Likely will have increasing demential as time goes on. Does not live near me. I gather that what needs to be done is supposed to be able to be done by phone.

 

I don't know much about being a Power of Attorney and its implications. And I only have until tomorrow to get back to the social worker who called me to say yes or no, as I understand.

 

I don't know if there are duties or obligations that would go beyond making medical decisions if the person were unable to do so.

 

Any knowledge, experience etc would be appreciated.

 

Any questions that I should ask the social worker who called me?

[Seasider]

Do you have a family attorney? That might be a good first call. Are you the only one able, or are there children/other relatives being "skipped over" in granting POA to you? Just thinking of potential landlines.

 

And is this both legal power of attorney and medical power of attorney? Because sometimes those are handled separately.

 

Just things to consider.

[TechWife]

Say yes. This person is trusting you with her life. It's an honor, IMO.

 

Right now no one has POA for my father and he has developed dementia. Handling his financial affairs is very difficult. We will likely be going to court, which will be expensive.

 

If you accept Medical POA, ask the social worker to have her write an advance directive and send a copy to you so you know what she wants (feeding tube or not, DNR or not, etc.).

 

ETA: Whether or not you accept, please call or write the relative to thank them for thinking of you. Also, don't worry that there are other people that she might be "skipping over," the social worker likely has already talked with her about different options and helped her sort it out. Just either accept or decline.

Edited February 17, 2016 by TechWife

[Seasider]

About the "skipping over"... I didn't mention that for you to get their approval or permission, just something to be wide-opened-eyes about.

[G5052]

You need to see if you can find out what the document says. Most people have a financial POA and a medical POA.

 

Every POA is a little different. My parents' financial POA had their bank be in charge of the bills. I was to receive monthly statements, and they were to consult me for anything over a certain amount.

 

Medical POA is for making choices about what treatments to follow in difficult situations, not necessarily life-threatening. Sometimes medications have risks, or a treatment is painful. You might have to decide whether to go ahead with that.

 

When Dad died, Mom switched everything 100% over to my sibling. Both the medial and financial POA went there with no oversight. It wasn't good. Hospice was delayed way too long IMHO, and her bills were not paid on time.

 

You also need to see if there is a will or trust. If you have financial POA, you will ultimately need to know what assets there are so that the bills can be paid.

Edited February 18, 2016 by G5052

[SebastianCat]

Are there assets needing to be sold, like a home? That would be a significant amount of work.

 

FYI - a durable power of attorney (financial) is no longer in effect once the person who granted it passes away. At that point a last will and testament should name an executor of the estate, or the court will appoint an executor. It could be awkward or complicated if you act as POA while this person is living, but then someone else takes over as executor after they pass away. My DH has/had POA for his parents, but when his mom passed away the POA ceased. Things were more complicated than I realized they could be.

[TechWife]

 It could be awkward or complicated if you act as POA while this person is living, but then someone else takes over as executor after they pass away. 

 

I think as long as everything is dealt with honestly and records are kept up to date, this likely won't be an issue. Some families separate the responsibilities to "spread the work around." 

[texasmama]

There is medical POA, and there is Durable General POA over everything but medical affairs.  Which is this?  The General Durable POA takes affect when the person is mentally unable to manage their own affairs and ends upon the person's death so responsibilities then pass to the executor of the person's will.  We had both for dh's grandmother.

[TechWife]

There is medical POA, and there is Durable General POA over everything but medical affairs.  Which is this?  The General Durable POA takes affect when the person is mentally unable to manage their own affairs and ends upon the person's death so responsibilities then pass to the executor of the person's will.  We had both for dh's grandmother.

 

This varies by state. The state law where the relative lives prevails. 

 

For example, where my parent live, people can grant a Limited POA - giving someone the ability to manage their checking account and pay their bills but not sell real estate, for example. 

[texasmama]

This varies by state. The state law where the relative lives prevails. 

 

For example, where my parent live, people can grant a Limited POA - giving someone the ability to manage their checking account and pay their bills but not sell real estate, for example. 

In order to sell real estate, we would have needed to file the POA with the court.  We did not need to do this.

 

I typed up the General Durable POA for dh's grandmother myself based on one that my father had an attorney draw up for himself.  I assume that anyone can have an attorney draw up whatever they want to grant in a POA.  The one my father has and my dh's grandmother had is/was very broad.

[TechWife]

In order to sell real estate, we would have needed to file the POA with the court.  We did not need to do this.

 

I typed up the General Durable POA for dh's grandmother myself based on one that my father had an attorney draw up for himself.  I assume that anyone can have an attorney draw up whatever they want to grant in a POA.  The one my father has and my dh's grandmother had is/was very broad.

 

The laws vary by state. There are different types of POA's. One must know the laws of the state they reside in. If it is done incorrectly, then it doesn't have to be honored and may, in fact, be illegal for a particular institution to honor it (bank, hospital, whatever). 

 

In the state where my parents reside it is spelled out that the POA doesn't have to be accepted if it is "in a form that is not normally presented." 

[texasmama]

Certainly consult the laws of your state.  The two people I am speaking of resided in the same state so it was a moot point for us.

[Guest]

Echoing what others have said above:  find out if it is financial/real estate and/or medical POA.  

 

I don't have much experience with the financial POA, so I'm not going to comment on that.  

 

If medical and if your relative is still of sound mind, be sure that she has filled out a medical directive, and if it is operative in your state, a POLST (this is done between her and her doctor to spell out what she does and does not want, medically).  This will give you a great deal of peace if/when you have to make some tough decisions.  

 

 

[Pen]

Medical POA.

 

And I am not in the same state.

 

And, very important, I realized that I cannot realistically travel to the state where the elder is (due to a disability that I have which makes travel very difficult and that I do only very rarely--as in I have not left my own county area for the last 9 years, let alone travel to another state... and if I did that would probably need to be something that I would do for my own child or my own parent as a first priority)--which means that I cannot know for myself whether the elder is seeming to be in pain, or alert, or various things that might be needed in order to make a good medical decision if that were needed. 

 

When first asked, I was thinking whatever was needed could be by phone. But now I don't think that is realistic. 

[texasmama]

Oh no. You need to be there for medical POA. That was an odd request to make of you.

 

Many financial affairs can be managed long distance but not medical affairs.

[Melanie in WI]

Some people don't have anyone local to be a medical POA. It can be done long distance. I've had many residents with their POAs being out of the area, even out of state. It takes frequent communication with the resident and the staff at NH.

 

[G5052]

Some people don't have anyone local to be a medical POA. It can be done long distance. I've had many residents with their POAs being out of the area, even out of state. It takes frequent communication with the resident and the staff at NH.

 

Yes, I've done long-distance medical POA and have multiple relatives currently in good health who have me down. I've even done long-distance guardianship with certain local resources in place as well as several long-distance estates where I never met the lawyers and accountants face-to-face.

 

Ideal? No. But there has to be a level of trust and detail involved, and I guess that's why they want me. They also know my values.