What is the best way to coordinate help for a family in the midst of medical crisis?

[Ottakee]

A close friend of mine's son will be having a bone marrow transplant in April and she will be out of state with him at the hospital for 6 weeks or so.  During that time her dh will be home with the other 5 kids.  They are all teens but help will still be needed with mom, the ultimate household manager, out of the picture that long.

 

They have family and a ton of friends that would be willing to help out with various needs.  I told her I would be willing to help organize this/be a point person, etc.  I am thinking 4-5 meals a week, maybe some house cleaning, errand running, transporting kids to activities, etc.  Her dh is a pastor so has a someone flexible schedule but yet also is on call 24/7 for his aging congregation and their needs.  Even things like gift cards for local food places, gas cards, gift cards to the local grocery store, etc. would all help as well as my friend will be off of work without pay for 6 weeks or more and these expenses will add up fast.

 

Are there any great (and super easy to use) ways to organize this so that anyone interested can see the needs, click on what they would like to help with, etc. and maybe also list what meal/type of food they are bringing so to avoid having lasagna 4 meals in a week.  We will be recruiting help from her work, her dh's church family, family members, friends, etc. so it has to be something easy to use and access for many people from various groups.

 

Any great ideas?

 

Also, any other hints of things that might be helpful to them?  My friend will be pretty much locked in her son's hospital room for 6 weeks with very short trips into the hall way.  She will not be able to leave that small section of the hospital floor for likely 1-2 weeks at a time so ideas for her would be great as well.  Space will be extremely limited and she can not bring in any fresh fruits or veggies, etc.

[mommymonster]

When my son was in chemo and doing poorly, friends organized a "meal train" using mealtrain.com (IIRC). They seem to now have a more robust sign up option -- https://www.mealtrain.com/learn/mealtrain_plus/It's $10, but seems like a way to get everyone on the same page. (I have no affiliation with this site.)

 

For the mom, I'd be sure she has access to ebooks. I'd think that knowing the rest of the family is doing well would do more to keep her sane and happy than anything else. Cancer floors have strict rules (for good reason), so I'd not try to do a gift basket or whatnot. Ours didn't permit plants, flowers or greenery of any sort, so no sense sending along those... 

[Arcadia]

A mommy friend of mine went into coma and was bedridden and could not remember anything after gaining consciousness. We are spread across many countries and continents because of our husbands' jobs. What the organizer did was to have a Google spreadsheet for all the needs (items, help needed, money) so people can just put their name down next to what is needed, a paypal account that is just for donations to help this family and a Facebook closed group to update medical status since we are all on Facebook.

 

A kindle or any other tablet would be very useful. Hospitals may have free wifi so she and her son can still Skype with the rest of her family back home.

 

Can someone help remind or pay the utilities for a month because if mom is usually the one who pay, she might forget with all the stress. Late fees would be added stress.

 

Wishing her son a successful transplant and smooth recovery for both her son and the donor.

Edited February 17, 2016 by Arcadia

[school17777]

I would make up a signup genius (free) signup with the various needs and dates.

[Prairie~Phlox]

Mealtrain as mentioned.  It's a great way that people can sign up to bring food!

[Ottakee]

I will look into these. Woudl you male a Facebook page for something like this? I want to help make this extrely stressful.situation at least a bit less stressful for them.

[Laurie4b]

Care Calendar is a really good option. You can put whatever needs you want to on the calendar. You can post regular updates about your friend to streamline communication. Other people can post notes for the ill person on there, too. You can post what kind of food is desired, what things are off limits, etc. Care calendar sends out a reminder the day before whatever you've volunteered for. It is private. People need a code to sign in. It's a free service. As the administrator, you would just post the updates, and post the needs. 

[Starr]

Spend some time with your friend and make a list of what things she's generally responsible for and work off that. When I had surgery my dd and dh were fully capable of making meals but they delighted in having them arrive from parishioners. And remind mom of my favorite being away rule. If everyone is alive when you return it is enough. All other things can be worked out.

[TechWife]

I have used meal train before. It worked very well. I wouldn't put exact needs on Facebook, they could make the family a target at such a vulnerable time. A link to some kind of private sign up would be fine, though. "If you want to help the Smith family, click here" would be an ok message, I think. 

 

I second the idea of an e-reader or tablet. Gift cards for Amazon would come in handy for that, too. 

 

Encourage her to get in touch with child life at the hospital to see what kinds of things they will provide for her son so that no one duplicates. 

 

For laundry, if someone can get or make a bunch of laundry bags (one per family member and then one or two for linens), then they could bag their laundry up, someone could pick it up to wash, dry & fold and return it to them neatly in the bags. The family could sort out what belongs to who pretty quickly so that loads could be combined. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[KungFuPanda]

I would make up a signup genius (free) signup with the various needs and dates.

This site is really easy for the user. I've never set one up, but you can do different categories like meals, chores, and errands.

 

Also, make doubly sure Dad and kids WANT help before organizing your army. Mom may want help for them, but Dad and teens may prefer to go it alone and find it awkward and stressful to accept help with laundry and whatnot.

Edited February 17, 2016 by KungFuPanda

[mamakelly]

I've used care calendar before, it was really helpful.

[plansrme]

I just want to suggest that you consider offering lawn care, especially since April is when things start warming up and growing. Even if Dad and the teens normally do this, it could free up some time for them to take care of some of what Mom does. It also is a good way for the men to help, and it is easy to coordinate, since the family does not need to be there.

[Ottakee]

Lawn care is a good idea. I thought of that about 4am :-)

 

I will work with them to find out what types of help they want/need