Vacation + ASD = ???

[Innisfree]

I really, really want and need a pleasant family vacation. It's been years since we've done this. But we have some real restrictions on what dd11 can handle. Can anyone here help us find the perfect spot?

 

Ideally, if this were just dh, older dd and myself, we'd be thinking history, museums, maybe Europe. Dh and I used to love going to Britain and Europe, and we really miss that sort of travel. Nothing of the sort has been possible financially for years, and now when it finally is, we need to take younger dd's needs into consideration.

 

We might be able to manage a short flight from the mid-Atlantic, but not more than a couple hours. Car travel would be better. We could manage eight hours at a stretch, probably, but don't want to do that repeatedly. Maybe we could do ten hours if it got us there and we were done driving.

 

We need a place where we can rent a house or cabin with at least two or preferably three bedrooms, so everyone has private space. It needs to be within easy walking distance of stuff that is fun and relaxing: I'm thinking of something like on the edge of a New England town green, with historic house museums or courthouses or such around the sides. Or, if we were in England, in the center of a walled medieval town. We need to be somewhere where, the minute we step out the door, we are *there*, without hassles over public transit or driving in unfamiliar cities. We need atmosphere without stress. Does this make sense?

 

Bonus points if good bakeries and/or restaurants are going to be within walking distance. Double bonus points for historical interest. Triple bonus points if animals are within walking distance: zoo, carriage horses, pigeons to feed at the park would all work. Jackpot if dd's dog could come, but I realize this depends on the particular lodging we end up in.

 

And, reading over this, I'm realizing it sounds Disneyish, but theme parks won't work. It needs to be a real place.

 

I've wondered about Quebec's Old City. Any personal experiences there? Or, as mentioned, a New England town? Or other ideas?

 

Thanks!

[TheReader]

I don't have specifics, but I'd look into a Bed & Breakfast in a small town that interests you, or else a cabin at a state park or national park, again, in a location that fits your criteria. 

 

I completely understand having to work around the needs of one, yet keeping it interesting for the others. I take it car travel (while at the place) is totally, completely out? Even if you drive your own car, so that she's in a familiar place while there? I ask because we've managed many vacations by having *something* at the location, yet still being able to drive to some of the attractions, so long as we were adequately prepared for his needs while in the car (snacks, activity, and time to just be both before and after the drive). 

 

Or check VRBO or AirBnB for house rentals as well. 

 

Best wishes; I know it's quite complicated and yet so very needed. 

[gardenmom5]

for travel - have you considered a train?  people would be able to get up and walk around.  you could even rent a 'sleeper' to have private space during the trip.   then rent a car at the other end.

[Innisfree]

Well, no, car travel doesn't have to be completely out. I'm just trying to arrange things so that, assuming a trip to Local Big Museum five miles away doesn't look like it's going to work, the rest of the family isn't stuck in a hotel room feeling frustrated. And, in general, the less stress the better. If the things around us are actually calming (animals), so much the better.

 

You're absolutely right about snacks and so on. I've been studying airbnb and daydreaming, but I've done very little traveling in this country, and really just don't know what places might work.

[Innisfree]

Yes, you're right, trains could be on the list. Though there we can't hop off and take a break if things got to be too much, so like air travel, it would need to be limited.

[73349]

Amtrak goes to Mystic, CT. There's a river, an aquarium and a few historic things (Old Mistick Village, and Mystic Seaport, and a short drive from the nuclear submarine Nautilus IIRC). I'm sure you can find a nice place to stay, maybe downtown (though maybe $$$). You would probably need to rent a car, but wouldn't have to drive far.

 

ETA: The thing about New England is that ease of transportation and quick access to scenic stuff are almost mutually exclusive. Major airports are Logan (Boston), T F Green (Providence), Manchester (NH, an hour+ drive from anywhere), and Hartford/Springfield (also requires driving). Boston does have a lot to see, including an aquarium, but isn't really peaceful.

Edited February 12, 2016 by whitehawk

[Innisfree]

Yes, I'd looked at Boston, and that was pretty much my conclusion too. It's not out of the question, but it doesn't seem to have the step-out-the-door-and-you're-there quality I'm after. Colonial Williamsburg would be close to what I'm after, except we've actually been there a lot visiting family under some less-than-desirable circumstances. It doesn't really have a holiday feel for us.

 

Getting there isn't really so much the issue as where *there* should be, and car travel will probably work best.

[Sherry in OH]

Would Mackinac Island, Michigan be too far away?  

[Melinda in VT]

Check out Newport, RI.

 

Tons of historical sites for those who want them. Very walkable town if you pick the right spot. Lots of atmosphere.

 

Seagulls and squirrels everywhere. You can also drive to Breton Point in the early evening for bunny sightings.

 

You will need a car to get there, and to visit the beaches, but there is a lot that's walkable.

[lewber]

There is a resort in PA called Nemacolin that you might look at. It's expensive but it could meet a lot of your goals. They have 2-3 bedroom houses there where you can stay instead of the hotels onsite. They have a kennel where you could board your dog and visit, I'm not sure if dogs are allowed in the houses. There are animals to see and lots of outdoor activities. It's very close to Fallingwater and I believe they might provide transportation. It's a beautiful area.

[MEmama]

Are towns like Portsmouth, NH or Camden, ME too far away? There should be plenty of places to rent in town (seasonally any way) and both offer lots to see, do and explore on foot--and even more in short driving distances. They are both safe and if you have older kids they could easily be let loose to explore on their own if needed.

[Innisfree]

Scurrying off to do some research :-)! Thanks for the ideas, please keep them coming!

[Library Momma]

I have a friend with an 11yo dd with Aspergers.  What works well for her family are resorts like http://www.rockinghorseranch.com/

 

Her kids are free to participate in any of the activities, but if it become too much for the Aspie, her daughter can just sit by the pool or even sit in the cabin on her laptop.  They are also limited in number of guests so it is never too crowded.  It is the large crowds in places like Disney or even in cities that cause real problems for her daughter.

[73349]

Oh hey, what about Kure Beach, NC? Stay somewhere like the Blue Marlin or the Hidden Treasure Inn, walk to the beach or pier, 15-minute drive to Ft. Fisher historic site and the Ft. Fisher aquarium, 30 minutes to Wilmington for groceries? There's a nice little diner by the pier where you can walk to eat.

 

April is typically fairly warm.

Edited February 12, 2016 by whitehawk

[LucyStoner]

I don't have specifics, but I'd look into a Bed & Breakfast in a small town that interests you, or else a cabin at a state park or national park, again, in a location that fits your criteria.

 

I completely understand having to work around the needs of one, yet keeping it interesting for the others. I take it car travel (while at the place) is totally, completely out? Even if you drive your own car, so that she's in a familiar place while there? I ask because we've managed many vacations by having *something* at the location, yet still being able to drive to some of the attractions, so long as we were adequately prepared for his needs while in the car (snacks, activity, and time to just be both before and after the drive).

 

Or check VRBO or AirBnB for house rentals as well.

 

Best wishes; I know it's quite complicated and yet so very needed.

Re: bed and breakfasts. It is often the case they aren't super kid friendly and IME, more so with a child on the spectrum. They tend to be owner operated and the owners worry about their antique furnishings and such. Which is totally reasonable but can make for a tense stay with parents always worried that the child will accidentally break something or behave oddly in a small dining room filled with mainly adults. Also, since many are in older homes there's not a lot of soundproofing and kids being about as loud as kids are can easily bother others without children. Unless it's a place that is geared specifically for families, I'd be leery of a B&B when traveling with small children or chuldren on the spectrum.

 

Plain, unfancy cabins or condo/house rentals are our first choice traveling with kids on the spectrum followed by suites with a kitchenette in large chains where there's a degree of anonymity and lots of other kids. Bed and breakfasts, unless they are more like cabins, don't make the list anymore.

Edited February 12, 2016 by LucyStoner

[wendyroo]

What about Nantucket Mass?

 

Lots of history in a small walkable area.  Lots of nature and birds.  Lots of rental possibilities with multiple bedrooms that allow pets.

 

Wendy

[AmandaVT]

Check out Newport, RI.

 

Tons of historical sites for those who want them. Very walkable town if you pick the right spot. Lots of atmosphere.

 

Seagulls and squirrels everywhere. You can also drive to Breton Point in the early evening for bunny sightings.

 

You will need a car to get there, and to visit the beaches, but there is a lot that's walkable.

 

This is my hometown! Lots of great stuff to do here. :-) The mansions are really neat to tour, the ocean drive is a beautiful walk and they have really yummy restaurants. Providence is about a half hour away and has even more interesting things to do there. 

[AK_Mom4]

We love VRBO for this type of thing.  My hard-to-travel kid does SOOOO much better with a house or condo as a home base than in a hotel.

[gardenmom5]

Yes, you're right, trains could be on the list. Though there we can't hop off and take a break if things got to be too much, so like air travel, it would need to be limited.

 

that was why the suggestion of a private compartment - you can have a private retreat.  and unlike planes - you can move around and don't have to be buckled in.

[Upward Journey]

St. Augustine, FL

[wendyroo]

that was why the suggestion of a private compartment - you can have a private retreat.  and unlike planes - you can move around and don't have to be buckled in.

 

We have found train travel to be inconvenient and astronomically expensive.

 

Say, for instance, the OP wanted to go from Philadelphia to Memphis.

That is about 16 hours of driving, so two days plus a night in a motel.

 

To go via Amtrak, you board the train at 11am and travel for 2 hours in coach seats.  Then you have a 3 hour wait in Washington.  Then you travel for about 18 hours (in 2 "Roomettes") and then hang out for 11 hours in Chicago...I have an autistic child and you couldn't pay me enough to hang out with him for 11 hours in a train station with no where to go.  Then 10 and half more hours on another over night train and you get to Memphis after 44 hours of traveling and waiting, including two nights.  All that for the low, low sum of $1393...one way.

 

The way home would be even more "convenient".  It is cheaper (only $1100) because there is no Roomette option for the first night on the train.  You get on the train at 10:40pm and arrive in Chicago for you long layover at 9am, but your only travel option for the night is coach seats.

 

Wendy

[Innisfree]

Ummm ... I take your point. Fully. No trains. (And here I was just thinking the problem would be too many tight spaces and too much enforced proximity to her sister!) Lol

 

These suggestions are very helpful, though, folks, and I appreciate them all. More are always welcome. I'm looking forward to a weekend of escapist fantasies as I thoroughly research them all. :-)

[Chris in VA]

Could you do a beach, like Duck, NC? It has lots of shops and little cute places just a street or two away; the beach is, of course, right there out your door if you are close enough. You can ride bikes along very quiet streets if you go early in the season--mine can't ride bikes, but maybe yours can. There are several neat things within ~15 mins drive--piers, dunes, Wright Brothers museum...Plus a little further out and you've got all the Lost Colony stuff and more museums and little shops on Manteo.

 

Or Chincoteague?

 

Looking for more...

 

Would a place like Atlantis in the Bahamas work? You could do short excursions like the Straw Market (but it's busy and can be overwhelming) and museums. They provide transportation. They have an enormous resort, with tons of small pools, waterslides, a couple of aquarium-type tanks that wrap around other places, the beach (very small), numerous small restaurants, etc. It wouldn't be my first choice, but maybe an option? We went there for a 3 day stay a year after my fil passed away (there, actually) and spread his ashes off a catamaran with family.

Edited February 13, 2016 by Chris in VA

[Dmmetler]

Be aware that the family bedrooms on trains are at the end of the cars, right over wheels. It can be loud enough to be unpleasant for a kid with sensory issues.

[kentuckymom]

It don't know if it fits your distance criteria, but I want to second the idea of Mackinac Island, Michigan. There are no cars allowed on the island except for emergency vehicles, so all the main areas are walkable. Plus you can rent bikes to see the more remote areas or ride in a horse drawn carriage (adding in the animal factor). Another option would be to stay in Mackinaw City (which is usually cheaper) and just take the ferry to the island for one or two of your days. You can also easily stay within walking distance of cool stuff within Mackinaw City too, and the ferry ride is less than half an hour if I'm remembering correctly. It's been decades since I've been there, buy my family used to go every summer when I was growing up. None of us had special needs, but three kids over a six year spread with quite varying interests always had a good time.

[gardenmom5]

We have found train travel to be inconvenient and astronomically expensive.

 

Say, for instance, the OP wanted to go from Philadelphia to Memphis.

That is about 16 hours of driving, so two days plus a night in a motel.

 

To go via Amtrak, you board the train at 11am and travel for 2 hours in coach seats.  Then you have a 3 hour wait in Washington.  Then you travel for about 18 hours (in 2 "Roomettes") and then hang out for 11 hours in Chicago...I have an autistic child and you couldn't pay me enough to hang out with him for 11 hours in a train station with no where to go.  Then 10 and half more hours on another over night train and you get to Memphis after 44 hours of traveling and waiting, including two nights.  All that for the low, low sum of $1393...one way.

 

The way home would be even more "convenient".  It is cheaper (only $1100) because there is no Roomette option for the first night on the train.  You get on the train at 10:40pm and arrive in Chicago for you long layover at 9am, but your only travel option for the night is coach seats.

 

Wendy

 

I agree - however, she's also trying to travel with an ASD child, and that can be a game changer.  when dealing with that, sometimes you do what you have to do.  or don't do what you'd like to do because they simply can't handle it . . . .

[Dmmetler]

In fairness, Memphis is about the worst Amtrak station to get to because it only has one route through it, and it arrives at odd hours of the night/early morning. On the East coast, it's a different story, and a trip on an East Coast commuter train with Wifi and the ability to get up, move around, go to the hospitality car and get a snack, and so on can be much easier to manage than a plane trip.

[MaeFlowers]

How about Jekyll Island or St. Simmons?

Both places are quiet and calm and you can walk (or bike) most places. There are a few historic sites though no museums. There is also a hospital for sea turtles that it nice to visit. The nice part about the beach is that the continental shelf extends so far out that you can wade pretty far out into the water and still only be up to your knees.

 

We used to take ds us there every year and he loved it. He always wanted to go see the turtles. I hate the beach but I still like it there. No crowds or craziness (I have anxiety issues). It's just calm and relaxing.