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I get so depressed reading some posts on this board....

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Oh I might be able to help with the bike! My kid didn't learn to ride a bike til later either -- the trick was NOT adding training wheels it was TAKING OFF THE PEDALS. Look for some videos on balance bikes on youtube! My kid who struggled for years to ride a bike totally got it in a DAY once we took the pedals off!

 

I tried this, but he could not touch the ground flat footed while on the seat (and I could not lower it more).  So he felt unstable and freaked out.  I'm hoping this spring/summer he will be able to do that.

 

Part of the issue is that he can't practice where we live.  We live on a hill.  So it's ok if a person knows how to ride a bike, but scary for someone who does not.  Not to mention the sidewalks are all chewed up.  So I have to drive him somewhere for him to try it. 

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Yeah We had to take him to the elementary school parking lot to do it, too.

 

Bikes are HARD and I had like no patience for it.

 

Many of the elementary schools here don't even have parking lots. People have to park on the street. 

 

They are hard and I have no patience for it either.  My first kid learned late, but he did learn and pretty much on his own. 

 

I feel bad on the one hand, but then we don't ride bikes ever.  So not sure what the point is right now.  My older kid does ride his bike to the store sometimes, but now he has discovered the city bus so he opts to do that more often. 

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My son is HG but he has it buried so deep beneath 14-year-old-ness and apathy that I sometimes forget.  He will (sometimes) do the bare minimum.  I can count on one hand the number of times he purposely went beyond what I assigned (he did it accidentally once or twice because he didn't write down what I actually said, LOL).  We typically have a lot of fun when he does engage and when he does do the minimum well, so I call us successful and keep going.

 

Sometimes I think that if we could have started homeschooling earlier, he too would be ready for higher-level work now.  But we started in 8th, and a lot of damage had been done.  Plus he was 13.  Plus we needed to find our own footing (and we sometimes still lose sight of it).  Plus he has to work on his own, without supervision, for half of the day.  But he *is* learning.  Just not as much as I think he could were he a more eager student.

 

I read the threads about the soaring kids and my heart aches for those posters, because they have to be SO careful with their words lest a storm of accusations arise - anywhere from elitism to pushing/forcing to stealing the kids' childhoods and all sorts of nonsense.  It gets old.  Arguably, the parents of those kids need even more help & support than the parents of struggling/stuck kids, because it is not generally socially acceptable to have a kid who thrives on 30 hours of math a week or an intense traveling-musician schedule or whatever, even when the kid *demands* it.  Those parents have no one to talk to IRL, no local support groups, no relative willing to stay with the younger sibling so she can drive the kid to a conference in Timbuktu.

 

I find so much inspiration from those posters, even if I can't use any specific ideas with my own kid.  They make me try to peer harder into my son's skull (LOL), trying to find The Thing that will inspire him.  I don't know if there's a passion lurking somewhere in there.  If there is, it has yet to reveal itself.  Nothing I've tried so far has unlocked it ... but I try to keep trying.

 

All I want is for the kid to be able to support himself, legally, and happily.  All three components are important, but I think that last one is the real bugaboo for us.

 

Goodness, I'm doing a lot of venting today.  But I'm not quite finished! 

 

The last point I wanted to make is that often, by the time our kids are teens, we are reluctant to expose their warts online.  I am so grateful to those parents who have shared details of the imperfect, rocky pathways they walked with their children, but I understand how difficult it is to do so, more for the sake of the kids' privacy than for any other reason.

 

[Edited to fix embarrassing typo.]

Edited by Miss Mousie
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I can't be sure if it is bragging though. Granted, it is an extreme example, but what if my kid will never be able to read? Should I take it as bragging because someone is talking about how their kid learned to read and is delighted by reading?

If someone posts that in a thread you started to express your disappointment, then I wouldn't call it compassionate empathy. If it's in a brag alert, a thread the person starts themselves, or in a general thread, that's totally different. Context matters.

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If someone posts that in a thread you started to express your disappointment, then I wouldn't call it compassionate empathy. If it's in a brag alert, a thread the person starts themselves, or in a general thread, that's totally different. Context matters.

 

Oh absolutely!

 

I often feel like I'm arguing with people when they give me advice.  Many times it is more that I feel bad that I'm such a weirdo when it comes to certain things.  How would they know that though?  KWIM?  Message boards are tricky.  It's more difficult to convey tone.

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I don't have overachieving kids. There seems to be a broader spectrum on the K-8 board, but for some reason the High School board seems very academic.

It's not a huge issue for me as I'm no longer homeschooling, but wanted to let you know that you are not alone, doing something wrong, or necessarily hopelessly behind.

I'll venture a guess that this is the case because many people choose public or private high school after homeschooling K8, but those whose children are more driven and accelerated stick with homeschooling to meet their needs. Basically, there's a population shift from the general population of broad spectrum of achievement to selectivel population of high achievement.

 

That isn't to say that all homeschooled high schoolers fit this, or that you must be high achieving to homeschool high school. That's just my hypothesis for what you've observed.

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The thread with everyone's plans for 9th grade left me in tears. I never know if my 13yo is going to wake up with the emotional maturity and attention span of a 13yo or a 3yo; how in the world am I supposed to come up with a plan for high school level courses? For crying out loud, on Wednesday she got distracted and forgot she was taking a timed math test and wandered off! How do you forget that you are taking a math test??? So it kind of amazes me that all these other kids have their heads on straight and are prepared for DE and honors level or even AP level classes. Despite having an upcoming 9th grader, I couldn't contribute to that thread because while I know that she will be taking geometry after she finishes algebra, that is about the sum total of the planning that I can do for this child right now. The rest will depend on her interests (which change with the direction of the wind) and whether turning 14 will be a magical cure for whatever puberty is doing to her brain.

 

On a recent thread someone mentioned that they wished they would have handed their child a tackle box and a copy of Tom Sawyer and sent them fishing for the duration of 7th & 8th grade. I think that if I would have done similarly with my current 8th grader (a sketchbook and a copy of Anne of Green Gables) I might have accomplished the same amount of learning with a lot less anguish.

I can't work from home as I will end up walking away and forgetting things. In the office I am different.

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I'll venture a guess that this is the case because many people choose public or private high school after homeschooling K8, but those whose children are more driven and accelerated stick with homeschooling to meet their needs. Basically, there's a population shift from the general population of broad spectrum of achievement to selectivel population of high achievement.

 

That isn't to say that all homeschooled high schoolers fit this, or that you must be high achieving to homeschool high school. That's just my hypothesis for what you've observed.

 

Well, that and if one is an "overachiever" (sorry hate this word) they spend a lot of time trying to figure out how to achieve.  If one is not so into that, why would they spend so much time on it?  KWIM?

 

Elementary school is just generally not as complicated either way.  It felt very complicated to me at the time, but now, not so much.

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First let me thank all of you for your kind words and encouragement. I do really appreciate it.

 

Second let me say that this thread was not started because someone was sharing a proud moment with their child. You should be proud and you should feel free to share it.

 

What makes this hard for me is that in certain areas...like math my kids are behind because we had about two years where we were floundering looking for a program that would work for us. Now my kids know that they are behind because the kids in the neighborhood talk about school in front of them out with them. I know it's more important that my kids have a good solid base regardless of how long it takes but try telling that too am almost 16 year old still struggling with algebra 1 while all the other kids her age are much further along. She feels dumb and that doesn't help her attitude or her confidence.

 

It will be ok in the end...that I know...it's just getting there.

 

Thanks again for all the hugs and kind words.

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Up until this past year, we have been an unschooling family. This forum made me nervous too when I would see what other families were up to. I always worried that we just weren't keeping up to certain standards. All three of my kids chose to go to school in the past year. They're in grades 9,8 and 4 and all are thriving precisely because of all the child led learning and free time they had over the years. I'm convinced that I would have ruined their love of learning had I approached things any other way with these particular kids. 

 

If your kids are generally happy and moving in a positive direction and learning a little something most days, then they're probably where they should be. Advice like this used to make me question the advisor, but now I see it's so, so very true. 

 

There were times while homeschooling when I thought my kids were average to less than average in intelligence. 2 of them have pretty significant LDs. The simplest things, at times, they could not grasp. They appeared very behind at times. Turns out all three are gifted which has me floored. And all of them are leaders at their new schools. I'm blown away. 

 

Hang in there. In your heart, I suspect you totally see their individual genius, it just may not show a lot right now. It will. 

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(((Hugs))) It IS hard when you have a student that struggles in one or more areas. I just tried to encourage my kids to not compare themselves to others, but only to themselves. Are they growing, learning etc... There are always people ahead of us and behind us, throughout life. If it's not school, it's something else. It's hard, but might as well learn now to work for excellence and let the chips fall where they may. Tough lessons for kids to learn though (and us moms too sometimes!)

 

 

I think that if I would have done similarly with my current 8th grader (a sketchbook and a copy of Anne of Green Gables) I might have accomplished the same amount of learning with a lot less anguish.

 

This sounds lovely!

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I can't work from home as I will end up walking away and forgetting things. In the office I am different.

 

My youngest does his best work at the library. He gets distracted at home.

 

Now my kids know that they are behind because the kids in the neighborhood talk about school in front of them out with them. I know it's more important that my kids have a good solid base regardless of how long it takes but try telling that too am almost 16 year old still struggling with algebra 1 while all the other kids her age are much further along.

 

:grouphug: unfortunately kids at that age would be gossiping about school because so much of their awake hours is probably school stuff.  My younger boy has self esteem issues from being overshadowed by my older boy. Luckily they have different passions besides similar ones.  Is there something she is good at that she can feel good about?

 

As for algebra 1,  I rather people in general understand the math behind loans and credit card interest and debt than being able to do well for algebra.  I wish people are allowed to use something like principles of accounts for a math credit if they are struggling in algebra. I know many accountants and auditors who are great at what they do but suffered through the more abstract math.

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because I feel like either I am not expecting enough of my kids or my kids are't thriving like everybody else's kids are.  I mean, whenever I read threads about "what are you doing in x grade" and I compare our plans to many others, ours seems to always fall short.  Am I doing something wrong?  Are my kids hopelessly behind? What is not happening in our home school that is happening is so many others?

 

Is there anybody here that doesn't have super smart kids or kids that are so motivated to learn at any cost...or are we the only homeschooling family that has kids who struggle...who are not over achievers? 

 

sigh!!

 

I have one gifted kid, one with an obvious talent, and one lovely yet academically ordinary kid who struggles with writing. 

 

Motivation to learn varies  - but the only one being homeschooled right now ? Would choose to play soccer or Minecraft any day of the week :)

 

Yes, some of us here have an ordinary child or two, and we don't have a particularly rigorous homeschool!

 

I like to think I am pretty consistent with the basics, and that we do some interesting things in addition to the basics, but compared to what some people here do, the experiences they provide and what their children achieve ? We're...not exactly who you'd choose for an article about how homeschooling produces better, smarter, more successful kids.

 

I only post academic questions here, not about what we're doing. But yeah, I'm here and my kid is not brilliant, advanced or in any other way academically wonderful. He's a nice kid though :)

 

Edited by StellaM
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HUGS!

I try to tell people that these boards are  a great place to get information, but they are full of over-achievers and don't compare yourself to everyone else.

 

I know the way I sometimes describe my kids can be tough if you are comparing your kids. Sometimes my kids do speed on ahead. However, they also hit walls and throw fits. I have three kids with learning disabilities. I may sing their praises here on these boards, but I'm not always as open about telling all their faults. I'm a real life person and other people I know may read what I write - I don't necessarily want to tell the entire world (at least those I know) that my kids aren't perfect and they are behind and struggling in subjects. I want to choose who I tell all the details (good and bad) and I try not to write out some of those struggles so that my kids are not offended by what I write about them and share openly.

 

I never write anything with the intent to hurt or make others feel behind. I generally try to be helpful and honest and I try to stay out of discussions that I don't have anything to add. I have found these boards very helpful over the years, both in making curriculum decisions as well as how to teach my gifted, struggling learners.

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I also feel like something is wrong with my kid who starts 9th grade next year, and at this point, if he does the basics I will be thrilled.  No AP plans here.  He's bright, but highly unmotivated ;-)  Our high school plan for him is just to get through some subjects at a higher level than this year.  If he doesn't want to do it there is no chance of it happening.  I am hoping in another year he'll be up for Biology.   I do appreciate the academic threads.  It helps me see how some people do extra in some areas, and less in others.  But my kids are who they are, and we work at where we are.  I can't compare to these other kids.  My son and daughter will do geometry next year.  So my son feels behind b/c his younger sister caught up to him.  She is very motivated.  He drug his feet this year and didn't get far, so we opted to just review instead.  He regrets that decision.  He's not behind, but he feels behind and that truth in his mind is very powerful.   I hope your child knows how much it doesn't matter....kinda like learning to read.  Most kids even out by 3rd grade whether they start at age 3 or 3rd grade.  You go to college and most everyone has to do calculus.  Some of us only had pre-calc coming in, some already had a calc class. It varies.  but we all ended up doing the same class together.  And math isn't for everyone.  Focus on her strengths.  English grammar is not my son's thing.  We are going to be doing grammar until he leaves home LOL, seriously.  I don't see it as behind, just a weakness.  And we all have weaknesses.  It's funny, anytime we meet other homeschoolers doing MUS, the kids always feel the need to explain they are doing a different program and it's done by subject, not grade level, and they haven't learned x or y yet, but they know more about adding/subtracting than my kids ;-)  So I think all kids feel they have to compare.  They don't.  I hope your child lets those voices go in her head.  My ds struggles with letting self doubt get the best of him.  I am realizing it doesn't matter.  He is his own.  And it will work out.  Even if he needs remedial grammar in college LOL

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because I feel like either I am not expecting enough of my kids or my kids are't thriving like everybody else's kids are.  I mean, whenever I read threads about "what are you doing in x grade" and I compare our plans to many others, ours seems to always fall short.  Am I doing something wrong?  Are my kids hopelessly behind? What is not happening in our home school that is happening is so many others?

 

Is there anybody here that doesn't have super smart kids or kids that are so motivated to learn at any cost...or are we the only homeschooling family that has kids who struggle...who are not over achievers? 

 

sigh!!

 

Every.single.one. of us feels this at some point, and more than once! I'm right there with you right now. But in my more sane moments, I remind myself that my kids are MY kids, not someone else's. What works for other family's in getting school done may or may not work in ours. How old are your kids? Are they special needs? Why are you homeschooling? All of that plays into how you homeschool. Remind yourself of why you're doing it. That's not someone else's why but YOURS. Own it. Be encouraged in that just the fact you are homeschooling puts you ahead of so many others! I guarantee your kids, compared to ps kids, know how to carry on a conversation with an adult. And even though they drive YOU nuts at times, they are most likely some of the most respectful kids to others. You got this!

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My son is HG but he has it buried so deep beneath 14-year-old-ness and apathy that I sometimes forget.  He will (sometimes) do the bare minimum.  I can count on one hand the number of times he purposely went beyond what I assigned (he did it accidentally once or twice because he didn't write down what I actually said, LOL).  We typically have a lot of fun when he does engage and when he does do the minimum well, so I call us successful and keep going.

 

Sometimes I think that if we could have started homeschooling earlier, he too would be ready for higher-level work now.  But we started in 8th, and a lot of damage had been done.  Plus he was 13.  Plus we needed to find our own footing (and we sometimes still lose sight of it).  Plus he has to work on his own, without supervision, for half of the day.  But he *is* learning.  Just not as much as I think he could were he a more eager student.

 

I read the threads about the soaring kids and my heart aches for those posters, because they have to be SO careful with their words lest a storm of accusations arise - anywhere from elitism to pushing/forcing to stealing the kids' childhoods and all sorts of nonsense.  It gets old.  Arguably, the parents of those kids need even more help & support than the parents of struggling/stuck kids, because it is not generally socially acceptable to have a kid who thrives on 30 hours of math a week or an intense traveling-musician schedule or whatever, even when the kid *demands* it.  Those parents have no one to talk to IRL, no local support groups, no relative willing to stay with the younger sibling so she can drive the kid to a conference in Timbuktu.

 

I find so much inspiration from those posters, even if I can't use any specific ideas with my own kid.  They make me try to peer harder into my son's skull (LOL), trying to find The Thing that will inspire him.  I don't know if there's a passion lurking somewhere in there.  If there is, it has yet to reveal itself.  Nothing I've tried so far has unlocked it ... but I try to keep trying.

 

All I want is for the kid to be able to support himself, legally, and happily.  All three components are important, but I think that last one is the real bugaboo for us.

 

Goodness, I'm doing a lot of venting today.  But I'm not quite finished! 

 

The last point I wanted to make is that often, by the time our kids are teens, we are reluctant to expose their warts online.  I am so grateful to those parents who have shared details of the imperfect, rocky pathways they walked with their children, but I understand how difficult it is to do so, more for the sake of the kids' privacy than for any other reason.

 

[Edited to fix embarrassing typo.]

You are not alone with your son. . . 15 is better (and he was homeschooled from the beginning).

 

My kids, in many ways, are "gloriously ordinary". The one who I know is gifted, won't use his brain. The one is exceptionally athletic, refuses to compete. It's their life. The next is average all around (with some LDs), but sweet as pie (with other people). I don't think anyone would look at my kids and see anything extraordinary. But I think they'd see kids that will do fine and have the skills to support themselves and be good family, church and community members. I am learning that that is really more impt.

 

While sometimes I feel sad that my ds isn't like some of the high achievers on the high school boards, I am really glad those parents feel free to share what they are doing. Their kids are on their own path and it should be celebrated as should those whose children are achieving academically in different ways.

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Oh, and, we all have our own timetables in which we learn. It would be helpful if the world as a whole would understand and ACCEPT that. It's taken me 40+ years to learn some things!

We will learn when we're good and ready, not when some outside chart/table/person says we should!  ;-)

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My kids are completely normal, and not high achievers. My son is actually behind a grade in a few areas, and my dd struggles in math. My oldest is the only one that has a drive to achieve great things, and go to college early, but she is not genius or anything. She just works hard. The materials I use have never been rigorous.

OP, I think you are the normal.

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Pull up a chair & wecome to our world.   :)

 

I was never the mom who set out to raise overachievers.  We used what was not popular in elementary school - actually we used what was least expensive, but still worked for us. The curriculum I chose wasn't fancy or colorful or the newest/best.  

 

Through 8th grade we kept on truckin' and knew that up until then I had the time to lay a sturdy foundation for high school - I filled in holes, I slowed down where needed, I expanded when needed.  When 9th grade came I knew what our 4-year high school plan would (sorta) look like - 4 maths, 4 english, 3 science, 3 history, 2 foreign lang, pe/health, fine arts, and a few electives.  My goal was to help my kids learn, help them enjoy learning (maybe not in subjects that they disliked), and get them ready for college.  That's it - no advanced courses, no AP courses - just plain high school.  

 

I've got one in college now & she is flourishing.  Some things are easy for her, some things are hard, but she feels that she was very well prepared to handle the workload.  

 

Do what's best for you - be happy with your choices.  

 

 

Edited by clementine
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My son did very average academically in high school except for a few areas, those were the ones he was interested in. I'll admit to holding my breath a lot when he took English composition in college last semester. I didn't want him to mention he was homeschooled until he had proven himself in the class. He has always struggled with writing, he ended up with a decent grade, but the amount of writing I thought would burn him out. 

 

In homeschooling high school, I had to constantly remind myself not everyone is an A student, that Bs are technically still above average, and that we can stop and regroup  and take our time if he was really struggling. He ended up with two years of algebra I on his transcript. 

 

I have seen a lot of maturity happen in the last semester, so the growth continues through high school and beyond. 

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I love the line, "Comparison is the thief of joy."  One thing I used to catch myself doing was looking at the incredibly outstanding thing that different kids were doing and thinking that my kid should also be doing each of those things.  In other words, if Julie was in the youth orchestra, Sara was going to nationals in poetry recitation, and Jimmie was on the state championship robotics team; I felt like my kid should also be doing violin, poetry and robotics.  

 

But that ignores the amount of time and effort that those individual kids spent on their passion to get to that place.

 

I try to honestly assess where my kids are and help them move forward from that place to a higher level.  Our piano is very dusty, but I have a kid that can give an off the cuff half hour explanation of Chinese history and politics.  

 

I think it's also important to remember that you rarely know the struggles of other families.  That applies to the family down the street as much as to people on the internet.  

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I was discouraged when I read the recent 9th grade thread. My dd is very bright, and I feel she is ahead in many respects. But she will "only" be doing honors biology, not AP Physics, and she will "only" be doing geometry, not calculus, in 9th grade. She will "only" be doing 6 credits, not 8 or 9. It made me feel like maybe I am not pushing her enough, because I know she is bright and capable.

 

But at the same time, my daughter is not super mature (she's not necessarily immature, but she's still very much a little girl even though she turns 14 this month), and although she is very bright, working on school is not her chosen pastime. I have to remind myself that if I overload her with work, she will just be discouraged, not motivated, and part of the reason that I chose to homeschool is so that my kids have time to spend on pursuits outside the academic realm. When my oldest dd was in high school, she left the house at 7, got home slightly before 4, and had 2-4 hours of homework each night. If I wanted that much work for my dd, I could just put her in school.

 

 

  :iagree:  I could have written that post. I mean, not that I could have stated it so well, or anything, but I share those feelings, completely.

 

ETA: Now that I've read the rest of the thread, I see I'm not the only one! Well posted, Tara!

Edited by Chrysalis Academy
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I read the threads about the soaring kids and my heart aches for those posters, because they have to be SO careful with their words lest a storm of accusations arise - anywhere from elitism to pushing/forcing to stealing the kids' childhoods and all sorts of nonsense.  It gets old.  Arguably, the parents of those kids need even more help & support than the parents of struggling/stuck kids, because it is not generally socially acceptable to have a kid who thrives on 30 hours of math a week or an intense traveling-musician schedule or whatever, even when the kid *demands* it.  Those parents have no one to talk to IRL, no local support groups, no relative willing to stay with the younger sibling so she can drive the kid to a conference in Timbuktu.

 

 

Thank you for this compassion, Miss Mousie. :001_wub: Many words that are used readily are misnomers too. When I said radically accelerated upthread, it sounds as if my DH and/ or I purposefully turned on some switch or planned things out knowing full well what will happen etc. The reality is so different from that. I would say we are somewhat unschoolers but even that is a loaded term and not exactly right. So it's probably better to not say anything. Only, sometimes it gets lonely.

 

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OP,

 

My kids peep over my shoulders sometimes out of curiosity so I am careful about what I type on these forums or on Facebook. So you (general) only get the good and the bad but not the ugly.

 

 

So it's probably better to not say anything. Only, sometimes it gets lonely.

 

​My hubby had an "interesting" video conversation with his side of the family (parents, siblings, aunts) during Chinese New Year that completely forgot my oldest is as old as BIL's son. It was awkward.

 

I have to be careful about what I say even in the area that I live in. I already consider myself lucky that it is less isolating here.

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Oh I might be able to help with the bike! My kid didn't learn to ride a bike til later either -- the trick was NOT adding training wheels it was TAKING OFF THE PEDALS. Look for some videos on balance bikes on youtube! My kid who struggled for years to ride a bike totally got it in a DAY once we took the pedals off!

Yes. And there are videos of fully grown adults learning this way. Taking off the pedals / homemade balance bike is a great way for people to learn.

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Another aspect that has been discussed here and other various groups is that high school becomes a different time in homeschooling. High schoolers blog less or post less. Some of that is a privacy issue, as my son got older, I found myself feeling like I might violate his privacy when posting on certain social media outlets. In elementary school and middle school it's more about you. In high school, it's about them. 

 

At least on facebook and my blog, I didn't want anything super negative posted about his education 1. because it became a more private matter, 2. I didn't want a future college to look up mom's blog and read all the dirty details, and 3. I have been burned by people in the past who never change perceptions about people even if that person has overcome something. 

 

Even though this forum is not private, I feel a different level of comfort here and found people to PM or found that people knew enough background information to give an accurate reply. When we were debating on whether to graduate ds early, I asked here. My life situation made it a decent option, where for most students, it probably would be wiser to finish another year of homeschooling. Those that knew my story gave me well thought out replies and options to consider. If I had been a new poster, I think some people would have replied differently because there would no history. 

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It is a blessing and curse here. I find for me it takes some discipline to back off and use it for the good and leave the bad. Leave the comparisons, leave the keeping up with others and worrying about what Hivers think of what I do or don't do. Take the awesome ideas and resources. 

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Both mine are very smart well behaved kids and some days I want to put them in P.S. so someone else can nag at them all day to just do 1 stinking thing I assigned, PLEASE.  Very low motivation.  I remember as a kid I also had low/no motivation but I was in P.S. and miserable.  If I'd had the opportunity to Homeschool the way my kids do I'd have thought I was in heaven.  

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I'll venture a guess that this is the case because many people choose public or private high school after homeschooling K8, but those whose children are more driven and accelerated stick with homeschooling to meet their needs. Basically, there's a population shift from the general population of broad spectrum of achievement to selectivel population of high achievement.

That isn't to say that all homeschooled high schoolers fit this, or that you must be high achieving to homeschool high school. That's just my hypothesis for what you've observed.

 

Sure, homeschooling can of course be a good fit for driven and accelerated highschoolers, but I think it's more the average homeschoolers are less likely to share here.

 

Like this:

 

I have many friends who refuse to read TWTM forums because they say that the population is not representative of the homeschool landscape at large and that the idea that homeschooled kids "should" be so far ahead is inaccurate and puts too much pressure on parents. I was thinking about that the other day when I asked my dh whether dd should take DE classes at the CC next year in 9th grade. He looked at me like I had two heads and said, "She still watches My Little Pony. Do you think she's mature enough to be in college?" I realized then that I was getting too caught up in expecting my dd to be something she's not, and that I was allowing the 9th grade thread to interfere with what I know is best for my child.

 

As much as I enjoy most of the discussions here, part of me feels like I should stay away lest I get caught up in keeping up with the Joneses.

 

and this:

 

Another aspect that has been discussed here and other various groups is that high school becomes a different time in homeschooling. High schoolers blog less or post less. Some of that is a privacy issue, as my son got older, I found myself feeling like I might violate his privacy when posting on certain social media outlets. In elementary school and middle school it's more about you. In high school, it's about them. 

 

 

 

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Yep, I quit blogging and posting about homeschool too  much once my kids hit an age where they requested privacy. 

 

I could have a scintillating blog otherwise - The Adventures of an Otherwise Average Mom and Boy. 

 

You would see me cajoling ds to do his maths. You would see ds forget, again, that 6x8=48.

 

You would see us both procrastinate.

 

You would see us breath a sigh of relief when it's time to go out to our outsourced classes.

 

You would see ds looking bored out his brain when I talk to him about topic sentences.

 

Etc.

 

Luckily the kid's demand for privacy spares y'all :)

 

 

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Out of my five, I will most likely only have one 9th grader like my rising 9th grader.  The others will be much closer to "normal" looking.  My two youngest children aren't accelerated at all.  I dropped my oldest child out of an AP US History exam, because I didn't feel like he was enjoying the history aspect -- it became more about the exam, than about the study of US History.  The content hasn't changed, though.

 

As the mother of some accelerated kiddos, I can tell you that I have to work hard not to compare my kids all the time.  Oldest son has a friend who graduated from high school the year my son completed 9th.  His friend is in Community College.  DS felt like a "failure" by comparison.  However, graduating high school early with a goal of CC entry was never our intent (mostly, because it was an un-affordable option).  If it had been, DS could have graduated the same time.  Doing so, however, would have meant losing the things he enjoys about high school.  

 

All I ask of my children is that they do their best.  What that will look like differs for each of my children.  

 

We started down the homeschool path, in large part, because our oldest was immature but ready for more academic work.  He was more than ready academically for K, but did not meet the social and fine motor skill readiness required for K.  My 12yo son is much like him...only more extreme...he still watches My Little Pony and thinks sneezing snot all over the table is hilarious :glare: .  While I'm working diligently on the snot issue, I'm not holding him back academically because of it.  My life would be much easier if all of my children could be like my rising 9th grader.  But they aren't.  I spend as much time cajoling, bribing, and yelling about school as any mother -- and unfortunately, if the work was "easier" it would be even more difficult, because then it would be "boring," because he already knows "that stuff." "Too "hard" (because they have to actually work at something)?  Oh, the whining!

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I've been on both sides of the gifted fence, and it can be lonely on each. 

 

Yes, keep in mind that those of us with high achievers sometimes only have this forum to be open about what they're doing.

 

And sometimes the high achievers have gaps too. One of mine did Algebra I twiice, and the other will be taking Algebra II in 12th grade. Math has been rocky here despite me being a STEM professor.

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Guilty here too...my older kid just learned...he is 14.  He still is not really good at it so I found something he can use on his shoes that will free him up from having to tie them.

 

It's rather embarrassing to me.  LOL

 

My 10 year old still can't ride a bike.  I was unable to find a bike for his size with training wheels that don't cost a million dollars.  So still nothing is happening on that front. 

 

Someone once posted on the boards that their very young child could change a tire on a car and they felt as if this was a normal skill for a young child to have.  Uh huh....  I can't change a tire. 

 

Me too. Can we form a group for teaching our 10 year olds to ride a bike?? 

Oh and we still don't tie shoes either--haven't needed to get tie shoes yet. Need to work on that also.

 

It's tremendous how much guilt I pour on myself about these things.

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Yes, keep in mind that those of us with high achievers sometimes only have this forum to be open about what they're doing.

 

 

Isn't that true for many across the board, with all types of students? I would hazard a guess that's why we're here. Most homeschoolers I've had contact with in multiple states are radical unschoolers. This forum is the only place I can be open about a broad spectrum of homeschooling issues. (Many thanks to those who make it possible and to those who so willingly share.)

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Isn't that true for many across the board, with all types of students? I would hazard a guess that's why we're here. Most homeschoolers I've had contact with in multiple states are radical unschoolers. This forum is the only place I can be open about a broad spectrum of homeschooling issues. (Many thanks to those who make it possible and to those who so willingly share.)

 

Oh yes.

 

I can't share with nearly all of my friends. The only one who understands homeschooled through 8th and then sent hers to public school. The norm in our area is to build character, not academics. I've never understood why you can't have both, so I mostly keep my mouth locked tight when I'm local.

 

I can't share with most of our relatives. Same issue. I'm turning them into arrogant snobs by expecting a lot.

 

Anyway, bottom line is that we support each other. 

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Oh yes.

 

I can't share with nearly all of my friends. The only one who understands homeschooled through 8th and then sent hers to public school. The norm in our area is to build character, not academics. I've never understood why you can't have both, so I mostly keep my mouth locked tight when I'm local.

 

I can't share with most of our relatives. Same issue. I'm turning them into arrogant snobs by expecting a lot.

 

Anyway, bottom line is that we support each other. 

 

I think that's the key. Before we hit submit, ask ourselves if we are being supportive. Is this thread about us or about them? Does my post follow suit? Is it about my student's accomplishments and triumphs or about their students' struggles and disappointments? Surely there is room enough of the board for both kind of posts -usually in different threads.

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Me too. Can we form a group for teaching our 10 year olds to ride a bike?? 

Oh and we still don't tie shoes either--haven't needed to get tie shoes yet. Need to work on that also.

 

It's tremendous how much guilt I pour on myself about these things.

 

This year tie shoes seem to be the most popular.  I could not find anything else for my older kid.  I'm referring to sneakers.  He doesn't want to wear other types of shoes.

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I think that's the key. Before we hit submit, ask ourselves if we are being supportive. Is this thread about us or about them? Does my post follow suit? Is it about my student's accomplishments and triumphs or about their students' struggles and disappointments? Surely there is room enough of the board for both kind of posts -usually in different threads.

 

And it's OK to skip a thread that might have triggers.

 

Last year it was the college thread for me. We had top-notch acceptances but just could *NOT* afford it. DS is loan-adverse. I never posted ours there and stopped looking. It just got me down for the "might have beens."

 

My sweet boy chose community college with the his superstar SAT's and AP's. He explored several fields and has a major he's loving. 

 

Life is good!

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I've been reading threads lately, too, and getting nervous.  I was reading some sort of AP thread and a TON of posters talked about their middle schoolers taking AP tests or their middle schoolers doing SAT subjects tests.  I was starting to despair.  I mean, my kid is in middle school and he...takes middle school level classes. 

 

And my 5th grader takes 4th grade math!  Oh no!!

 

It made me wonder a few things: are AP tests so easy that middle schoolers can do them?  or Are the kids in those threads true geniuses?  Probably geniuses.  And they probably homeschool because they are so smart and regular schools can't accomodate.  I know that logically, but it can be a sinking feeling when all you hear is about kids who are in college at age 11 or 12 when your 13 year old is still in middle school.  :)

 

 

 

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I think that's the key. Before we hit submit, ask ourselves if we are being supportive. Is this thread about us or about them? Does my post follow suit? Is it about my student's accomplishments and triumphs or about their students' struggles and disappointments? Surely there is room enough of the board for both kind of posts -usually in different threads.

Sometimes when I come across as Debbie Downer in a thread about Latin or some other topic, it's because I want to share our experience. For us Latin sometimes consumed the entire day (typically because my kids had put off their translation until too close to the due date)

 

Similarly physics first was a total bust and almost derailed homeschooling altogether. My kids weren't automatic enough in their algebra abilities.

 

It's easier to post a lot when you are planning a subject out. It's less enticing to come back and say things didn't come off as planned. If I do post about our hard spots it may come off as not being supportive of someone else's plan. And to be honest I can't know all the details at someone else's house. Maybe their kid is completely ready for physics. Or maybe my experience will warn them of pitfalls so they can be more successful than we were.

Edited by Sebastian (a lady)
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Guilty here too...my older kid just learned...he is 14.  He still is not really good at it so I found something he can use on his shoes that will free him up from having to tie them.

 

It's rather embarrassing to me.  LOL

 

My 10 year old still can't ride a bike.  I was unable to find a bike for his size with training wheels that don't cost a million dollars.  So still nothing is happening on that front. 

 

Someone once posted on the boards that their very young child could change a tire on a car and they felt as if this was a normal skill for a young child to have.  Uh huh....  I can't change a tire. 

 

:coolgleamA: Diamond is a college graduate, has been driving for 4+ years, and has only ridden a 2-wheeled bike once in her life.

 

:coolgleamA:  Sweet Child can drive a car, but has never attempted to ride a bike.

 

:coolgleamA: BabyBaby builds robots, and has never attempted to ride a 2-wheel bike.

 

:driving: :auto: :leaving:

 

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because I feel like either I am not expecting enough of my kids or my kids are't thriving like everybody else's kids are.  I mean, whenever I read threads about "what are you doing in x grade" and I compare our plans to many others, ours seems to always fall short.  Am I doing something wrong?  Are my kids hopelessly behind? What is not happening in our home school that is happening is so many others?

 

Is there anybody here that doesn't have super smart kids or kids that are so motivated to learn at any cost...or are we the only homeschooling family that has kids who struggle...who are not over achievers? 

 

sigh!!

 

The primary reason we began homeschooling 16+ years ago was for freedom and flexibility. The girls have been "advanced" in some areas, and "behind" in others. One took almost 2 years to get through Alg. I, another finished in about 6 months. One read fluently at age 4, another not until well into 3rd grade.  But they were always able to progress in their strong areas, while continuing to work in their weaker ones. They did *not* have to spend all of their efforts trying to catch up and keep up in their weaker subjects to fit into a particular time schedule. This freed up their time to continue to progress in their stronger subjects and areas of interest.

 

If Diamond had been dragged through a Math schedule to complete Calc in 12th grade, she would never have written a novel. Or had time to dance- which is her career! Sweet Child is doing a lot of "get it done" courses, which frees her time for artistic and culinary pursuits. BabyBaby may be dropping an activity next year to focus on some academics and an additional athletic.

 

I also believe that none of my girls would have done better at public school. The pressure and pacing would have just wrecked them. They'd be bored senseless in their areas of strength, and frustrated beyond hope in their weaker areas.

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What makes this hard for me is that in certain areas...like math my kids are behind because we had about two years where we were floundering looking for a program that would work for us. Now my kids know that they are behind because the kids in the neighborhood talk about school in front of them out with them. I know it's more important that my kids have a good solid base regardless of how long it takes but try telling that too am almost 16 year old still struggling with algebra 1 while all the other kids her age are much further along. She feels dumb and that doesn't help her attitude or her confidence.

 

 

It sounds like a personal growth area....the one where a person realizes they have done their best with the resources available to them. They could have found a better coach, they could have put more time in it earlier, but in the end they have to do what fits their situation and be happy that their best was good enough, as they are in the Goldilocks zone and learning, even if they arent at the level of someone else who had a diferent coach and began at the same time in a certain skill. One has to decide not to quit when one finds others have taken a different path.the end goal is the same, you learned the material/achieved the goal. Starting later might even mean you put less years in to it, since your thinking skills and emotional control have matured. The achievement data on countries starting reading instruction at 7 doesnt look much different than those that start earlier, for ex. So, life lesson. I like to remember that when 8 year olds whiz by me at the ice rink, skating backwards.

 

Now, if the students are ha-ha'ing, they arent friends. Friends dont put friends down. They offer support, usually by tutoring their friends who are struggling in classes they have already taken. One of the strongest messages they send is the one on learning style, and how teaching methods affect how rapidly they learn a concept. So, one isnt dumb because one doesnt get, one is missing pre-reqs or one is in needs of a better teaching/learning fit. One of the demos I have seen that is effective in getting this concept accross is origami instruction. One child will be very happy to have verbal only instructions on say, making the box, while another will fail miserably yet succeed when the method is changed to visual demo with no words accompanying. Others need both. Everyone is different, and fit to current skills matters, as does growing skills to the point where one can learn from anyone. There will be struggle. I remember that every time I am on skis, as children whiz by me on the way to the most difficult slopes. I couldnt do them until I figured out why, even with the best intentions and a good coach and the bowl to ourselves. My visual limitations meant I had to wait for tech to get cheap enough that I could see the terrain clearly. My son had the bad luck of being the youngest in an age grouped sport, and possessing the short gene...he will never win a race against someone older and 2 feet taller. Doesnt mean he cant beat his own time and improve his technique.

Edited by Heigh Ho
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Sometimes when I come across as Debbie Downer in a thread about Latin or some other topic, it's because I want to share our experience. For us Latin sometimes consumed the entire day (typically because my kids had put off their translation until too close to the due date)

 

Similarly physics first was a total bust and almost derailed homeschooling altogether. My kids weren't automatic enough in their algebra abilities.

 

It's easier to post a lot when you are planning a subject out. It's less enticing to come back and say things didn't come off as planned.

 

Oh I agree! I think those types of posts are vital!

 

What I was referring to is when someone posts about a student struggling with a topic or subject or curriculum and there are almost immediately posts about how easy it was for other students. Or worse, yet, how easy it was for a student who was years younger. I'm not sure what purpose those posts serve. They don't seem supportive. They seem to be closer to to kicking someone while they're down...

 

Posts like this:

 

"Well, I'll be of no help here. My kid did that at a younger age and thought it was the simplest thing ever. Sorry I'm no help. Good luck with that!"

 

Not that a parent can't be beaming with pride and wanting to share it. It's just that perhaps a different thread would be better. 

 

I hope that makes sense. 

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Posts like this:

 

"Well, I'll be of no help here. My kid did that at a younger age and thought it was the simplest thing ever. Sorry I'm no help. Good luck with that!"

 

 

When I hear those in real life, its because the speaker wants to be helpful, thinks the provided instruction was sufficient, but doesnt have time to dig into it and unravel the trouble. So, they have no clues to get you started. I take it the same on the internet; the person is acknowledging your request for help and sharing that they cant help.

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