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I get so depressed reading some posts on this board....

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because I feel like either I am not expecting enough of my kids or my kids are't thriving like everybody else's kids are.  I mean, whenever I read threads about "what are you doing in x grade" and I compare our plans to many others, ours seems to always fall short.  Am I doing something wrong?  Are my kids hopelessly behind? What is not happening in our home school that is happening is so many others?

 

Is there anybody here that doesn't have super smart kids or kids that are so motivated to learn at any cost...or are we the only homeschooling family that has kids who struggle...who are not over achievers? 

 

sigh!!

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I don't have overachieving kids. There seems to be a broader spectrum on the K-8 board, but for some reason the High School board seems very academic.
It's not a huge issue for me as I'm no longer homeschooling, but wanted to let you know that you are not alone, doing something wrong, or necessarily hopelessly behind.

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I have two younger children who were late in their development and behind grade level.  One has caught up to grade level, but the other one is still about two years behind.  I just take it one day at a time with him and keep working steadily.

 

 

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I have very average kids who usually have one or two things they are excited about - and sometimes that might correspond with a school subject. Most of the time, it doesn't.

 

I often find myself being one of the few who mentions the grade level of math when it doesn't match the grade level mentioned in the thread. (My dd#2 is not quite halfway into the 6th grade math book. So, we're hoping she'll start Pre-A sometime in 8th next year. I've found some posters who don't want to mention the level of math in those type of posts. When you see a bunch of other kids the same age/grade doing Geometry or Pre-Calc, it can be discouraging.)

 

My kids don't always go as fast or do as well with some of the beloved materials on this board. We go at our own pace in Latin, Writing, and Math - even if that puts us "behind" others. That's okay. Teach the child you have. Don't compare yourselves with everyone else. I try not to compare even my own kids because they all have different strengths. My oldest started homeschooling young & my younger two (boys) started later. So, what my ds#1 can do at age 8 is completely different (much less) than what my dd#1 did at the same age. That's okay. They are different kids with different strengths, even if their personalities are sometimes so similiar.  :banghead:

 

I try to keep my posts real - to help others who don't have gifted kids. I was ready to  :boxing_smiley:  in a post just the other day when someone pointed out how their kid didn't have any issues at all understanding the material that my own kid is struggling with. I settled down &  :biggrinjester: because people who read the thread will see both sides of the coin. If they have a kid who speeds through, they will know which poster to follow to see what else her kids are doing & get ideas from that. If they have a kid who struggles, they'll know they can PM me & commiserate. It is okay to not be a genius or an over-achiever. That's one of the big reasons we homeschool - so we can go at our own kid's pace.  :Angel_anim:

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My kids are mostly average & below average. It's ok. Really. Not everyone can or wants to be a rock star academic.

 

There are a few old posts in the forums about this I just re read recently. I can't remember the titles, but try searching "average kids" or something like that- it was encouraging:). I posted last week about "doing high school without college classes" & got some encouragement too.

 

(Eta- someone put the link above, it was a great thread. I think there were others too)

 

TWTM I think attracts high achieving families, hence this board having lots of top students, which is great, but yes, sometimes makes our school seem "not enough".

 

If you have a child who struggles, come on over to the Learning challenges board too, if you aren't over there already, k.

Edited by Hilltopmom
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I have one who whines but sits down and does the work and one who whines and I have to cattle prod his way through it.  My kids would rather read Calvin and Hobbes than their reading books. My kids generally would prefer to do art every day or play Minecraft rather than do the other school.

 

While my kids do have some interests, they do not generally "love" any subject. They are doing just fine academically but we do not have any kids here who willingly do extra math work, etc. 

 

It can be hard to see that others have an easier experience with their kids getting them to learn but I know that others have much much harder than I do.  I try to keep it in perspective. We are doing the work, we are learning, and hopefully one day I will find the thing that really sparks the fire in them and be able to foster their pursuit of that. 

 

Hang in there.  

 

It is said, "Comparison is the thief of joy."  I try to remember that when I get caught up comparing us to other families.  My family is its own version of beautiful.  =)

 

edited for grammar

Edited by cintinative
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:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

 

No, you are not alone.  Not at all.  

 

I wonder, though, if this is sort of like Facebook syndrome.  People frequently post about the stuff going well academically but we don't really see the down days discussed much.  It frequently gives the impression that every day is rosy over at the Smith (apologies to anyone named Smith :) ) house, with all those eager young gifted learners.  When you see enough of those types of posts you start to wonder if everyone out there has great days every day and they all have advanced kids and it is just your kids that struggle or really aren't interested or are really hard to teach.

Edited by OneStepAtATime
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I avoid this board a lot (despite the fact that I really would like the support of and to share with other moms doing high school) because I feel so overwhelmed and like a failure as a homeschooler.  My oldest would like to go to college and pretty much everyone can get into any of the public colleges around here.  But she struggles with reading comprehension and keeping vocabulary words in her head.

 

It's really easy to get caught in the academic and college rush.  But we've really tried to step back and just take our time and enjoy this journey rather than rush through it with our noses in books.

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For those who have kids who struggle in one form or another and are in Middle School or High School (regardless of IQ or homeschooling status), if you are interested in a private chat group there is one forming right now.  Hop on the Learning Challenges sub-forum thread (it will be obvious which one) and post on the thread there to get an invitation.   Open to anyone that feels they could benefit.

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I think generally, more kids are average than appears.  It's just that on an academic thread, you often get parents who are very interested in academics and who do have very academic kids! 

Edited by J-rap
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I am homeschooling a bright kid who couldn't care less about school and for whom the term "self-motivated" is an oxymoron. He is in 9th grade and doing Algebra 1 and probably will not make it to calculus in high school and that's ok. He will not take Biology until 10th grade and that's ok. We'll be doing well if we can manage the bare minimum requirement for foreign language by graduation and that's ok too.

 

However, he can work like a man for a 15 hour work day without complaining. He's a great kid who doesn't cause trouble and loves to help people. When I'm feeling frustrated with him for his lack of effort at schoolwork I remind myself of all of the other things he is good at.

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Edited by need2read
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I am just starting to read here. Hello, everyone. :seeya:  I'm content with where my daughter is. Happy even. But she is behind most of the others on the 9th grade thread for next year. I'm telling myself the others are just exceptional. :tongue_smilie:

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:grouphug:

There is a reason every subject is outsourced for my kids. Hubby and I are just pathetic at teaching our own kids. They are busy doodling dragons and knights instead of getting work done for the past hour. We lose about two months of academic time a year due to horrible seasonal allergies.

 

The thread that Kinsa started and CinV linked upthread is worth reading.

 

ETA:

My kids are still gross motor skills behind in some areas and cannot ride a bike without trainer wheels. A younger kid was on a unicycle yesterday *envious*

Edited by Arcadia
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I think that there is a big selection bias towards highly accelerated kids and kids with other special needs, because first--rarity means you need the internet to reach out to others who get it, so those people are more likely to be online, and second--when your kid is going along at grade level in the typical curriculum, there aren't as many questions that jump out at you and that need external input. You might have to think just as much but the answers are all in the books about typical development.

 

So I think there is a bias here and it seems like everyone is accelerated or has some issue but the reality is definitely that most kids are normal... that's the definition of normal. :D

 

I wonder what it would look like if parents of typically developing kids posted more often: "Well here we are in third grade in the third grade reader. She's mildly enthusiastic about some stories and pretty meh about some others. She sometimes groans a bit about school but is generally compliant. Onward ho!" I'll bet a lot of people could empathize.

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My kids are average learners, as well. Actually, they all struggle in certain areas, and several have learning disabilities. DD14 is the only one that is homeschooling this year. She has to work hard, using materials that are fairly basic, not advanced. I find it discouraging sometimes, because I was a very academic, advanced student myself, and it's hard to keep my expectations in check. I give her support and encouragement, and I don't expect her to be someone she is not. But there is a little part of me that finds it hard, and I wonder if I should be pushing her more. I've found in the past that when I push, and frustration sets in, that we actually take steps backward instead of forward. We're making some progress, and that's good.

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May I post an update about that particular child?

 

He has surprised the heck out of us. Since posting that thread, he has stepped up to the plate in ways I never would have imagined. He has taken four dual enrollment classes (and has done/is doing well in them), taken the SAT twice and done fairly well due to actually, y'know, STUDYING, worked his butt off to meet graduation requirements so he can graduate on time, found and settled on both a college (Texas State University) and a major (recreation management degree), AND - this is the one that really surprises the heck out of us - of his own volition he decided he wants to try the Honor College. Lo and behold, he got accepted into it!

 

This is NOT a child that I would have expected this from two years ago. I guess the moral of the story is, don't give up!

 

And to the OP of this thread, I did nothing spectacular with any of my kids. Truly. My curriculum plans are far lower in. .. "prestige" (???)... than what I see here. I'm not a pusher when it comes to academics. We are constantly struggling to keep up.

 

I hope this encourages instead of discourages you!

 

Edited to add: My 16yo hasn't even started algebra yet, and there's no LD's. Does that make you feel better? (LOL)

 

ETA again: Wow, that thread was only a year ago! I can't believe how he's changed in the past year!

Edited by Kinsa
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I think that there is a big selection bias towards highly accelerated kids and kids with other special needs, because first--rarity means you need the internet to reach out to others who get it, so those people are more likely to be online, and second--when your kid is going along at grade level in the typical curriculum, there aren't as many questions that jump out at you and that need external input. You might have to think just as much but the answers are all in the books about typical development.

 

So I think there is a bias here and it seems like everyone is accelerated or has some issue but the reality is definitely that most kids are normal... that's the definition of normal. :D

 

I wonder what it would look like if parents of typically developing kids posted more often: "Well here we are in third grade in the third grade reader. She's mildly enthusiastic about some stories and pretty meh about some others. She sometimes groans a bit about school but is generally compliant. Onward ho!" I'll bet a lot of people could empathize.

 

This exactly.  Accelerated, special needs, allergies, quirks, etc. are very common reasons for homeschooling. 

 

I honestly have no clue how my kids compare with other kids.  I just focus on them individually. 

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I wonder what it would look like if parents of typically developing kids posted more often: "Well here we are in third grade in the third grade reader. She's mildly enthusiastic about some stories and pretty meh about some others. She sometimes groans a bit about school but is generally compliant. Onward ho!" I'll bet a lot of people could empathize.

 

Yes and no. I think the problem is that sometimes when there are posts like that they quickly turn into, "Really? How sweet! That brings back memories of my nine-month-old reading that before translating it into 3 languages! Have fun with the book!" Things sort of fizzle from there...

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Yes and no. I think the problem is that sometimes when there are posts like that they quickly turn into, "Really? How sweet! That brings back memories of my nine-month-old reading that before translating it into 3 languages! Have fun with the book!" Things sort of fizzle from there...

 

Well, I try to be supportive even if that happens.  I know that person probably finds that often times he/she cannot talk about their child.  People just see it as bragging.  Even if it is bragging, parents like to brag about their kids sometimes. 

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Yes and no. I think the problem is that sometimes when there are posts like that they quickly turn into, "Really? How sweet! That brings back memories of my nine-month-old reading that before translating it into 3 languages! Have fun with the book!" Things sort of fizzle from there...

 

Heh. Well... you have a point. The last time this came up on a thread about typical children vs. accelerated children I recall that some parents felt they were being told to keep their accelerated kids' achievements and so on in a ghetto on the accelerated board.

 

Speaking of fizzling.

Edited by Tsuga
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I wouldn't get too twisted up about it; as long as your kids are thriving and moving forward they are progressing.  I have a kid who is very bright and capable, but........(you know, there always has to be a but!)....Said child (13, 8th grade) is a horrible speller and not much better with punctuation, so she is working through Rod and Staff 6 English and Spelling (yes, I finally screwed up the courage to admit it...level 6) at the same time that she is working through Algebra I and Conceptual Physics.  Which is to say, kids have their strengths and weaknesses and just because you kid is weak in one area doesn't mean he is weak in everything.

 

On another note, I have been looking through the biology threads because DD is doing biology next year in 9th grade.  She is eventually shooting for AP Bio, so I do want to make sure she has a good background in biology.  I am leaning toward a non-majors college book for DD, which has a high level of detail for high school, IMO.  But I haven't pulled trigger on it yet because I stopped to remind myself that she is *13* and it is probably unreasonable for me to load her down with that level of science that young.  I want her to enjoy biology and want to continue with it, not drive her like a workhorse.  So I think for me, much of my  thoughts on what my kid is going to be doing  next year reflects my own enthusiasm for the topic, and I need to step back and think whether or not driving a kid that way is really good for her (even if she does enjoy the topic). 

 

ETA:  I also have a DS who, while bright, does not enjoy school and would rather play video games all day (if I let him).  My project for middle school is to find the *right* amount of challenge to turn his attitude around. 

because I feel like either I am not expecting enough of my kids or my kids are't thriving like everybody else's kids are.  I mean, whenever I read threads about "what are you doing in x grade" and I compare our plans to many others, ours seems to always fall short.  Am I doing something wrong?  Are my kids hopelessly behind? What is not happening in our home school that is happening is so many others?

 

Is there anybody here that doesn't have super smart kids or kids that are so motivated to learn at any cost...or are we the only homeschooling family that has kids who struggle...who are not over achievers? 

 

sigh!!

 

Edited by reefgazer
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Well, I try to be supportive even if that happens.  I know that person probably finds that often times he/she cannot talk about their child.  People just see it as bragging.  Even if it is bragging, parents like to brag about their kids sometimes. 

 

I guess I see it very differently. If someone feels the need to brag, surely there's a better place than on a thread such as the type we're discussing, is there not? The "brag alert" threads are a good example of perhaps a better place. Or even a thread of one's own.

 

I say this as someone who has been on both sides. Some of my posts have haunted me. I sometimes want to dig back through old threads and send apologies...

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NEPrairiemom, I hope this wasn't prompted by my post about my dd and Shakespeare.  If it was, you could spend some time on the LC board and see how we are currently celebrating the fact that our 24 yos is living in an apt by himself, waking himself up to go to work, walking to work, cooking his own meals, and doing his laundry.  We have to pay all of his bills, buy his groceries, constantly supervise his daily activities, and visit frequently (not to mention talk to him on the phone at least 10-15 times per day.....he calls when he wakes up, after he eats breakfast, on his way to work, during his 2 breaks, twice during lunch, on his way home, after he cooks dinner, before he goes to bed, and any other time he needs support during the day.)

 

Some of my kids are just go with the flow and are completely on grade level.  I think the difference is when I share info about them, it just sort of blends in. 

 

Chat boards are simply a single dimensional view of a 3d world.

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I was discouraged when I read the recent 9th grade thread. My dd is very bright, and I feel she is ahead in many respects. But she will "only" be doing honors biology, not AP Physics, and she will "only" be doing geometry, not calculus, in 9th grade. She will "only" be doing 6 credits, not 8 or 9. It made me feel like maybe I am not pushing her enough, because I know she is bright and capable.

 

But at the same time, my daughter is not super mature (she's not necessarily immature, but she's still very much a little girl even though she turns 14 this month), and although she is very bright, working on school is not her chosen pastime. I have to remind myself that if I overload her with work, she will just be discouraged, not motivated, and part of the reason that I chose to homeschool is so that my kids have time to spend on pursuits outside the academic realm. When my oldest dd was in high school, she left the house at 7, got home slightly before 4, and had 2-4 hours of homework each night. If I wanted that much work for my dd, I could just put her in school.

 

I have many friends who refuse to read TWTM forums because they say that the population is not representative of the homeschool landscape at large and that the idea that homeschooled kids "should" be so far ahead is inaccurate and puts too much pressure on parents. I was thinking about that the other day when I asked my dh whether dd should take DE classes at the CC next year in 9th grade. He looked at me like I had two heads and said, "She still watches My Little Pony. Do you think she's mature enough to be in college?" I realized then that I was getting too caught up in expecting my dd to be something she's not, and that I was allowing the 9th grade thread to interfere with what I know is best for my child.

 

As much as I enjoy most of the discussions here, part of me feels like I should stay away lest I get caught up in keeping up with the Joneses.

 

ETA: I don't even want to think about my son and high school. He has dyslexia and processing problems, and I can't, at this point, fathom him handling even the typical high school work load, much less an advanced load.

Edited by TaraTheLiberator
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My kid is perfectly average in some areas and below average in others. We won't be doing any DE or AP classes. He's not shooting for any big scholarships and school comes a VERY distant last to all of his passions. In all likelihood, he will start at a local community college after high school in order to gain some maturity, and then hopefully go off to a 4-year school. He has finally hit us with a major that sounds compatible with his passions, interests, and skill set. Who knows how it will all turn out eventually though.

 

My kid is into music. He's good and has taught himself a LOT in a very short time. But I groan because it doesn't lend itself to an easy or lucrative career path. I often get frustrated that he isn't as motivated in other areas as he is music, but then I try to remember that it takes all kinds to make the world go round. At the end of the day I want him to do something he loves, but I also want him to be able to put food on the table.

 

Sent from my VS985 4G using Tapatalk

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Well, I try to be supportive even if that happens.  I know that person probably finds that often times he/she cannot talk about their child.  People just see it as bragging.  Even if it is bragging, parents like to brag about their kids sometimes. 

 

I think that there is so much self-censoring that goes on at both ends all parts of the spectrum.  The mom of a kid with challenges is afraid of posting what might be seen as failures in parenting.  The parent of a high achiever doesn't want to sound like she's bragging.  The mom of a kid who is just hitting average milestones wonders why anyone would care about her average kid.

 

All of our kids are beautiful and wonderful creations.  I'm pretty confident that each of our kids also makes us want to tear our hair out at times.  

 

I have posted about my kids who are nearing the end of their homeschool journey.  Most of my posts have been about where I'm reaching - AP level courses, college applications, scholarship apps.  If it's working, I don't post so much about it.  If it's going really badly, I might post some of our lessons learned.  However, I'm reluctant to complain about my kids online.  I have no idea where those posts might go in 1-10 years or how they might eventually be linked up to my kids real life.  

 

I have three kids and there's a lot of diversity there.  One who could have graduated early from high school.  I wish I could share his test scores with people, because they make me want to bust.  But I don't share.  One of his brothers is quite different.  He will be ok, because I'm willing to work with him where he is, not as if he's the same as his brother.

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I could have written this post!  the My Little Pony bold made me LOL!

I was discouraged when I read the recent 9th grade thread. My dd is very bright, and I feel she is ahead in many respects. But she will "only" be doing honors biology, not AP Physics, and she will "only" be doing geometry, not calculus, in 9th grade. She will "only" be doing 6 credits, not 8 or 9. It made me feel like maybe I am not pushing her enough, because I know she is bright and capable.

 

But at the same time, my daughter is not super mature (she's not necessarily immature, but she's still very much a little girl even though she turns 14 this month), and although she is very bright, working on school is not her chosen pastime. I have to remind myself that if I overload her with work, she will just be discouraged, not motivated, and part of the reason that I chose to homeschool is so that my kids have time to spend on pursuits outside the academic realm. When my oldest dd was in high school, she left the house at 7, got home slightly before 4, and had 2-4 hours of homework each night. If I wanted that much work for my dd, I could just put her in school.

 

I have many friends who refuse to read TWTM forums because they say that the population is not representative of the homeschool landscape at large and that the idea that homeschooled kids "should" be so far ahead is inaccurate and puts too much pressure on parents. I was thinking about that the other day when I asked my dh whether dd should take DE classes at the CC next year in 9th grade. He looked at me like I had two heads and said, "She still watches My Little Pony. Do you think she's mature enough to be in college?" I realized then that I was getting too caught up in expecting my dd to be something she's not, and that I was allowing the 9th grade thread to interfere with what I know is best for my child.

 

As much as I enjoy most of the discussions here, part of me feels like I should stay away lest I get caught up in keeping up with the Joneses.

 

ETA: I don't even want to think about my son and high school. He has dyslexia and processing problems, and I can't, at this point, fathom him handling even the typical high school work load, much less an advanced load.

 

Edited by reefgazer
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Comparisons are insidious.

 

Don't go there. Really, just don't. 

 

I have two strong students, one a senior who did exceptionally well on the ACT and got some great college offers. She is DE at university and has an abundance of academic credits. I'm thoroughly pleased with her achievements; they reflect her ability, interests, and work ethic.

 

However, if I compared her to some of the true superstars on this board, she's not even in the same universe! She hasn't started a non-profit or done original research or even racked up that many extra-curriculars.

 

There will always be people above you and below you in every facet of life: school, work, money, friends. 

 

It can be useful to see what other people are doing. I enjoy seeing other people's plans and accomplishments. Sometimes they make me think, hmm, I bet we could do that. Other times, I just do a slow clap and acknowledge that we are NEVER going to do that, lol. 

 

Work and learn in the way that's appropriate to you and your students. Celebrate your achievements. Keep trucking. 

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I could have written this post!  the My Little Pony bold made me LOL!

 

Same here! I could relate to so much!

 

ETA: Thanks so much for your post TaraTheLiberator! It was liberating!  ;)

Edited by Woodland Mist Academy
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8FilltheHeart, I get what you wrote about your 24yo. I was ecstatic yesterday morning when I saw that my almost-13yo intellectually disabled son made a bowl of Cheerios by himself. Knock me over with a feather! Now, if I could only get him totally bathroom independent...

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 It is said, "Comparison is the thief of joy."  

 

Great quote. 

 

I was thinking about that the other day when I asked my dh whether dd should take DE classes at the CC next year in 9th grade. He looked at me like I had two heads and said, "She still watches My Little Pony. Do you think she's mature enough to be in college?"

 

This was my laugh for the morning, because I can so identify! 

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Work and learn in the way that's appropriate to you and your students. Celebrate your achievements. Keep trucking. 

 

:hurray:  :thumbup1:

 

Progress sometimes seems slow. Achievements seem small. But when I look back at the long haul, there has been tremendous improvement.

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I hope I didn't contribute to any bad feelings. Sometimes I am just bursting and don't think about what I am saying. I dont have a lot of other avenues to say it. I have a radically accelerated child. That is my reality. Sometimes what I should be mentioning and celebrating instead is how caring, gentle and patient he is with his clueless mom or how when I just buckle under the pressure of everything going on in my life right now he just envelopes me in his big bear hug and makes the pain go away.

 

The funny thing is there doesn't seem to be a forum for that when that is probably a true measure of a person's worth.

 

I used to say things about how behind my son was in some areas just so others won't feel bad but I don't want to diminish him in that way anymore.

 

Academic strength is only one area in a person's life. I have come to realize that people are battling so many different things that the only things that ever matter are personal happiness and emotional strength.

 

There are no guarantees of happiness based on what a child is learning in any particular grade or at any particular age. You can have all the intellectual gifts and yet be a jerk or miserable or both.

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I was discouraged when I read the recent 9th grade thread. My dd is very bright, and I feel she is ahead in many respects. But she will "only" be doing honors biology, not AP Physics, and she will "only" be doing geometry, not calculus, in 9th grade. She will "only" be doing 6 credits, not 8 or 9. It made me feel like maybe I am not pushing her enough, because I know she is bright and capable.

 

I thought your daughter was advanced. Latin 2-3! Honors Biology!

 

My daughter is also bright and capable, and I know I didn't push enough. She started school at 4 because she begged to, and, as a newbie, I just called it K. She now believes she is in 8th grade, because she would be if she just advanced a grade each year. I had a moment a couple of years ago when I realized she would leave for college as a young 17 year old. So I slowed her down. Now she wants to do high school next year, and I'm wondering if she is ready. I know she could have been more ready than she is. In order for her to be ready for Biology, she is going to have to start Physical Science this year and work over the summer. We've piddle around with Latin for years, but it is always the first thing to get put aside. I could have had her ready for Spanish 2 or 3. I taught Spanish in my prior life. If I had chosen a different math program, she could be doing Algebra II or Geometry right now. Logic could have been done this year. Yeah, I mucked it up.

Edited by Meriwether

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The thread with everyone's plans for 9th grade left me in tears. I never know if my 13yo is going to wake up with the emotional maturity and attention span of a 13yo or a 3yo; how in the world am I supposed to come up with a plan for high school level courses? For crying out loud, on Wednesday she got distracted and forgot she was taking a timed math test and wandered off! How do you forget that you are taking a math test??? So it kind of amazes me that all these other kids have their heads on straight and are prepared for DE and honors level or even AP level classes. Despite having an upcoming 9th grader, I couldn't contribute to that thread because while I know that she will be taking geometry after she finishes algebra, that is about the sum total of the planning that I can do for this child right now. The rest will depend on her interests (which change with the direction of the wind) and whether turning 14 will be a magical cure for whatever puberty is doing to her brain.

 

On a recent thread someone mentioned that they wished they would have handed their child a tackle box and a copy of Tom Sawyer and sent them fishing for the duration of 7th & 8th grade. I think that if I would have done similarly with my current 8th grader (a sketchbook and a copy of Anne of Green Gables) I might have accomplished the same amount of learning with a lot less anguish.

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I have to say that I love reading about the success stories and the brag posts. I especially love to see posts like Kinsa's where she talks about the growth & changes she's seen when she previously had doubts about the kid's future. Having followed some of the high school board for a couple of years in lurkdom, I think I was almost as proud as Swimmermom of her ds's first acceptance into college. I could name several other posters & examples, but I don't want to creep them out.  :lol:

 

I post some of our struggles (attitude, workload, material) so others can see them & know that it is something that happens. (We are struggling with all of these right now with dd#1 - some of them because of the other things listed. But that doesn't keep me from celebrating when we have a success or a good day with her.)

 

This isn't a unique struggle to the high school board. My kids are a bear to teach to read and one of them didn't take off into reading fluently (and on-grade-level) until she was almost 10. I don't have the issue of the 3 year old who can't blend because mine might be 6 when we can finally remember enough letter sounds to attempt blending. I don't have an issue finding appropriate reading material for a 5 year old who reads on a 5th grade level. (However, I can post some books that my audiobook fiends enjoyed when they were 5, 6, or 7 that might help.) My kids are -average- kids (some ups, some downs) with high achiever parents who want what is best for them. You'll find my posts on the will-this-child-ever-learn-long-division threads and in the we-forgot-everything-over-the-two-week-holiday-break threads.

 

I'm so stinking proud of my dd#1 because just today she 'graduated' out of her orthodontist checks. (She got her braces off in Nov & has been doing really well wearing her retainers at night & keeping up her brushing.) It will be a completely different experience with ds#1, I'm sure, because he's going to be much tougher to keep after in terms of oral hygiene at the same age.  :banghead: 

 

So, I think people should definitely be proud of & post about their kid's stuff. Just as those of us who have average or struggling students should post about reality in our houses when it pertains to the topic at hand.

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I feel the same way when I read those posts......you are NOT alone!

I haven't read all the replies.....

All this talk of dual credit, AP in every subject, CLEP this CLEP that, college board lingo is stressing me out.....

My high schooler is not jumping for joy to be overloaded with all that, as well as my rising high schooler!

 

I am realizing that if they are learning and progressing each year and feel challenged in some way.... Then we are okay! I want them to like school. I want them to want to learn.... I don't want to give them a check list of classes for them to see how many they can mark off or keep tally of college credits!

My kids are smart. They are not over achievers. They are creative, too, and express their own drive of motivation doing something they love!

 

We have a friend that is in her sophmore year of public high school. She is in all the challenging courses.... ALL of them, very smart girl. She has no social life, no extra curriculars, no TIME to just be. She dreads going to school, where as she loved it until now.

 

High school seems more like college with less independence these days.

That's sad!

I've probably said too much already. You can tell I'm bothered by all this too.

 

I can only say that I don't wish to hurry my kids through high school. This is the time for discovery & deep learning!

Group hug for us all!

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Academic strength is only one area in a person's life. I have come to realize that people are battling so many different things that the only things that ever matter are personal happiness and emotional strength.

 

There are no guarantees of happiness based on what a child is learning in any particular grade or at any particular age. You can have all the intellectual gifts and yet be a jerk or miserable or both.

I agree. Just look at any of the academic powerhouse areas of the state or country. There are no good answers or solutions.

 

Also many hollywood stars are intellectually gifted and their lives aren't picture perfect.

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I don't usually look at those threads with the lists of what people are doing in x grade. It's so variable what listing a curriculum actually means in day-to-day life, and since I'm not really shopping for new curriculum ideas, they are not that useful.

 

I find it more interesting, informative and inspiring to read other threads in the educational areas. You see a whole range of levels of motivation, behaviour and frustration that makes it more "real"  somehow (though that's probably just because the curriculum list doesn't include the nitty-gritty of the families' daily lives).

 

We all have similar struggles at different times in the year/week/day during our children's educational journey.  I just try to look at what my dc are doing and evaluate whether it's a good fit for them. 

Edited by wintermom
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I know it's so hard! You want the best for them. You might think you are doing great, but then when you hear what others are accomplishing it can take the wind out of you.

 

What you don't hear when I post about my oldest starting early college next year is that he's willing to try it out for a semester. He is doing well in online school and is reluctant to push himself. He's a lot like me where he will do what's expected of him, so I have to up the stakes and he can motivate himself from there. The schools here stink. Early college is pretty much our only option other than going back to online school.

 

I have cousins that teach at an expensive private school and both of their kids attend. When I see what those kids are doing, it's super easy to get depressed. Oh well, we're doing our own thing and he gets to sleep in.

 

And here's a huge homeschool gap for you, I just verified my oldest needs to practice tying his shoes quickly. Between the Velcro shoes when he was younger and in ps and the fact that we are home all the time with our shoes off, he never had the need to practice his shoelace tying. Mom fail.

It just makes me feel like there so much he needs to work on. I plan to make a list of life skills he's missing and go through them just to be sure.

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She is in all the challenging courses.... ALL of them, very smart girl.She has no social life, no extra curriculars, no TIME to just be. She dreads going to school, where as she loved it until now.

High school seems more like college with less independence these days.

That's sad!

I've probably said too much already. You can tell I'm bothered by all this too.

 

I can only say that I don't wish to hurry my kids through high school. This is the time for discovery & deep learning!

 

 

I think this is where a lot of the confusion and stress between paths occurs.  Many kids that are taking advanced courses are simply working at their level.  Those challenging courses are appropriate for them just like alg 1 might be appropriate for different 9th grader.

 

I have 2 kids who have worked significantly beyond grade level taking 8-10 courses in an academic yr.  Those loads were comparable to 6-7 classes taken by a different sibling.  

 

It isn't making high school college.  It isn't hurrying kids through high school.  It is letting kids be who they are and not boxing them in by grade level constraints.

 

My 4th grader spells like a 1st grader.  I don't have her doing 4th grade spelling.  It would be pointless.  Similarly, having some of my kids doing high school level work when they are ready for college level classes is equally pointless.

 

We should rejoice over our children's accomplishments, no matter the level.

Edited by 8FillTheHeart
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I guess I see it very differently. If someone feels the need to brag, surely there's a better place than on a thread such as the type we're discussing, is there not? The "brag alert" threads are a good example of perhaps a better place. Or even a thread of one's own.

 

I say this as someone who has been on both sides. Some of my posts have haunted me. I sometimes want to dig back through old threads and send apologies...

 

I can't be sure if it is bragging though.  Granted, it is an extreme example, but what if my kid will never be able to read?  Should I take it as bragging because someone is talking about how their kid learned to read and is delighted by reading? 

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I thought your daughter was advanced. Latin 2-3! Honors Biology!

 

My daughter is also bright and capable, and I know I didn't push enough. She started school at 4 because she begged to, and, as a newbie, I just called it K. She now believes she is in 8th grade, because she would be if she just advanced a grade each year. I had a moment a couple of years ago when I realized she would leave for college as a young 17 year old. So I slowed her down. Now she wants to do high school next year, and I'm wondering if she is ready. I know she could have been more ready than she is. In order for her to be ready for Biology, she is going to have to start Physical Science this year and work over the summer. We've piddle around with Latin for years, but it is always the first thing to get put aside. I could have had her ready for Spanish 2 or 3. I taught Spanish in my prior life. If I had chosen a different math program, she could be doing Algebra II or Geometry right now. Logic could have been done this year. Yeah, I mucked it up.

I don't think you mucked anything up. T is also 12 and doing many of the same things your dd is doing. Our plan is to do interesting classes (which, ime, usually means high school level especially since we both prefer online classes) until T is 16 and can enroll in our local CC's dual enrollment program. They offer lots of cool classes which will transfer to the state universities but do not affect a student's freshman status. So, T can stay home until she's 18, take classes that interest her, not have to catch the bus at 6:30, transfer credits for all the required general ed classes to university and still be a freshman when she does start.  That's important because a couple of programs that she's interested in have prerequisite chains that mean you need to attend for 4 years and you don't want to be charged OOS rates because you've attempted too many credits.

 

So, we've done high school classes in middle school, but that doesn't mean T will be graduating early. So instead of doing the usual high school stuff, she can do sociology or history of film or environmental biology and count them toward both her high school ss, arts and science requirements and fulfill distributional requirements for college. When she is in college, she'll be able to double major instead of using half her credits for gen ed requirements. That's a great deal. Especially not having to catch the bus at 6:30!

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And here's a huge homeschool gap for you, I just verified my oldest needs to practice tying his shoes quickly. Between the Velcro shoes when he was younger and in ps and the fact that we are home all the time with our shoes off, he never had the need to practice his shoelace tying. Mom fail.

Not a mom fail at all. Seriously, my 16 yr old totally neurotypical child still struggles to tie his shoes. This is a child who can bang out a wicked guitar solo by ear or using sheets, but still cannot properly tie his shoes. It is infuriating at times. We literally just went out and bought him dress shoes that are slip-ons because it was stressing us all out. He's better with sneakers, but only marginally and it still takes longer than it should for him to tie them.

 

 

 

Sent from my VS985 4G using Tapatalk

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And here's a huge homeschool gap for you, I just verified my oldest needs to practice tying his shoes quickly. Between the Velcro shoes when he was younger and in ps and the fact that we are home all the time with our shoes off, he never had the need to practice his shoelace tying. Mom fail.

It just makes me feel like there so much he needs to work on. I plan to make a list of life skills he's missing and go through them just to be sure.

 

Guilty here too...my older kid just learned...he is 14.  He still is not really good at it so I found something he can use on his shoes that will free him up from having to tie them.

 

It's rather embarrassing to me.  LOL

 

My 10 year old still can't ride a bike.  I was unable to find a bike for his size with training wheels that don't cost a million dollars.  So still nothing is happening on that front. 

 

Someone once posted on the boards that their very young child could change a tire on a car and they felt as if this was a normal skill for a young child to have.  Uh huh....  I can't change a tire. 

 

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Guilty here too...my older kid just learned...he is 14.  He still is not really good at it so I found something he can use on his shoes that will free him up from having to tie them.

 

It's rather embarrassing to me.  LOL

 

My 10 year old still can't ride a bike.  I was unable to find a bike for his size with training wheels that don't cost a million dollars.  So still nothing is happening on that front. 

 

Someone once posted on the boards that their very young child could change a tire on a car and they felt as if this was a normal skill for a young child to have.  Uh huh....  I can't change a tire. 

 

Oh I might be able to help with the bike! My kid didn't learn to ride a bike til later either -- the trick was NOT adding training wheels it was TAKING OFF THE PEDALS. Look for some videos on balance bikes on youtube! My kid who struggled for years to ride a bike totally got it in a DAY once we took the pedals off!

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