abba12 Posted February 9, 2016 Posted February 9, 2016 (edited) Back in September I miscarried, 6 or so weeks along. I believe it was twins, as after the first bleed (which included tissue) I has a positive test for another three weeks, and then a milder repeat of the same symptoms but with no tissue, after which I finally had a negative test. Then, in early December, we had another very early miscarried, no more than 10 or 12 days post-ovulation. I'm certain I was pregnant, I am someone who knows within a day or two and I had a very faint positive test. I've been for some testing and all the initial tests are good and healthy. We decided we would give it one more try. If I lose another one, we will start on the road of more involved testing/monitoring, which isn't quite as simple or easy in my country. But since I've carried 3 babies completely healthy, and only had one miscarriage before this row of them, we are praying it was an anomaly, rather than a true medical issue. We've just found out we are pregnant again. I'd been stalling on taking the test because of the last early miscarriage, so I think we are a good 4, maybe 4 and a half weeks along at this point. I would really appreciate prayers for the baby. Since all the miscarriages have been so early, I think I'll relax a bit once we hit 8 weeks, which isn't too long to wait. But I am so afraid we will lose it again, and if we do I think I'll end up blaming myself for not insisting on further testing sooner (my doctor says the miscarriages were just my body's way of telling me to wait, because I was trying again 'too soon' of course. My youngest is 21 months, but my doctor is obviously very anti-large family, and we need to try and find a new one soon... but, I let her convince me to leave it alone and try once more. I'm kind of regretting it, but I suspected I could be pregnant by the time I had the appointment last week anyway, so I suppose it's all redundant, even if I had gone for further testing I wouldn't have even seen an OB yet in such a short space of time. Our healthcare system is amazing, but, unless you're in an emergency it IS slow.... ) Edited February 9, 2016 by abba12 2 Quote
mamiof5 Posted February 9, 2016 Posted February 9, 2016 (edited) Will pray for a healthy baby and pregnancy!!! And for healthy mom too of course! ETA: so sorry about the babies that didn't make it :( Edited February 9, 2016 by mamiof5 1 Quote
creekland Posted February 9, 2016 Posted February 9, 2016 Praying. Best wishes to you as you wait - and don't be hard on yourself regardless. :grouphug: 1 Quote
Ms.Ivy Posted February 9, 2016 Posted February 9, 2016 Oh, I'm sorry for your losses. That's rough. I'll pray for you as you wait. Quote
Openhearted Posted February 9, 2016 Posted February 9, 2016 :grouphug: and prayers Try not to worry. I know it is easier said than done. If you find yourself thinking about it, turn on some music, read a picture book to your littles, write a grocery list or something distracting. I think stress and worrying makes things worse and time seems to drag. More :grouphug: 1 Quote
clementine Posted February 9, 2016 Posted February 9, 2016 :grouphug: Prayers for a healthy baby! Quote
Mom2Five Posted February 9, 2016 Posted February 9, 2016 prayers for you. Will your dr put you on progesterone? I believe that's what a few of my friends had to do after early miscarriages. Quote
abba12 Posted February 15, 2016 Author Posted February 15, 2016 We're praying over here, hoping God will protect this baby.... I began bleeding yesterday. It went brown, but then began bright red again before bed. I gave up, and I pretty much accepted I was losing this baby, I was having all the same symptoms as last time, and I can't handle the pain of getting emotionally attached to this and losing it again, so I began to think of it that I had already lost the baby and was just waiting for it to pass at this point. But, this morning, I've woken up with morning sickness. Not the full blown hyperemesis I usually get, but definitely queasy and triggered by food. Most women I know never got sick during their miscarriages, so this gives me a little bit of hope. I still need to not get attached, I need to pass this to God and accept there is absolutely nothing I can do anymore. It's too late to begin the process with a gynecologist to find out the cause, and the doctors seem unwilling to do anything because they can't 'prove' there's anything wrong to begin with. They've given me blood tests, I'm doing a scan, but that's about it. Progesterone seems to be a controversial treatment. Some doctors believe low progesterone causes miscarriage so supplementing it helps, but others believe low progesterone is simply a symptom of impending miscarriage and treating it wont do anything. Progesterone seems to be a common treatment in the US, but here it is a prescription medication that only a gynaecologist can prescribe apparently (we don't have any OTC creams or anything with progesterone in them either, nothing.), I think that there's no harm and a possibility it will help, and have been trying for a week to get a prescription, but they wont do it, it seems to be common opinion here that it won't work. If I lose this pregnancy I will be beginning the process of getting specialist tests for recurring miscarriages, and I will talk to gynaecologists and find one who will give it to me to try next time, and I have managed to force them into at least doing the progesterone blood test which I will get a result for tomorrow. But it seems highly unlikely I will be able to get progesterone for this pregnancy, which is very upsetting to me, because there's a chance this baby could be saved but the doctors wont do it, for no good reason. I am having a lot of trouble accepting this fact, but I can't just get in with a private gynaecologist without waiting a few days at least, by which time I think it'll be too late even if they do agree with progesterone, which they may not. The doctors have shown they just do. not. care. about what is normal for me, or for my body. They don't think maternal instinct, or self awareness comes into this at all. Because bleeding can be normal in some pregnancies sometimes, it must mean there's no problem here, even though I've had three healthy babies with no bleeding whatsoever, and have had a miscarriage that included bleeding for a week before it passed. They have absolutely no interest in my feelings or knowledge of how I feel, that I've never had certain symptoms subside in a healthy pregnancy, but they are now, or that early cramping is not normal for ME. All they know is what their textbook says can be normal for some people, and that must be what's happening here. And they all seem so intent on giving me feel-good, hopeful words when all I want is the truth so I can deal with it. I am so resentful of the medical profession right now. If this baby dies, I know it will be partly because they haven't done all they could to save it. But, I feel nauseous. A little part of me wants to keep holding on to that hope, I feel sick, that is good. I never thought I'd pray to continue feeling sick, after three HG pregnancies! Quote
creekland Posted February 16, 2016 Posted February 16, 2016 :grouphug: No words to add. Just :grouphug: and wishes things could be more investigative for you. 1 Quote
debinindy Posted February 16, 2016 Posted February 16, 2016 I'm so sorry you are going through this! I know that helpless feeling and it's awful. Will pray for you. Quote
JoJosMom Posted February 16, 2016 Posted February 16, 2016 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: and prayers for you and baby. I hope that you find a doctor who will listen to you. I've been in a similar place, and the right doctor made a huge difference. More :grouphug: and I'll add you to my prayer list. 2 Quote
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