How are YOU managing to pay for college?

[FaithManor]

I wouldn't go back to work if they got need based aid. I wouldn't want to mess that up. But they get nothing. State aid here you simply have to be very low income to get despite the fact there is no way we could just write a check for tuition/room/board every year for two much less three students.

[Guest2]

edited..nm

We had plans, but didn't end up using them GL

Edited March 28, 2016 by Silver Brook

[Kareni]

About returning to work - DH and I have considered this for me but, after speaking to an accountant, have decided that anything more than what I currently do would hurt more than help.  DS's scholarships are decent but he does receive quite a bit of need based aid. Any increase in our income will change how much he gets.  I don't know if it's $ for $ or a percentage.  It would be nice to be able to bring in $20-30,000 a year but not if all of that goes back to the school.

 

 

Yes, do consider this.  Most of my daughter's aid was need based, and we too were reluctant for me to return to work for fear that my income would not balance out lost aid.

 

Regards,

Kareni

[Mom2boys]

Our oldest is finishing his first year of college. We hadn't been able to save any money for college as I haven't worked since he was born, and we made retirement savings a priority. We told our kids that state universities were the only option for college because we didn't want them to go deeply into debt for their education, and we weren't willing to do that either. And we don't qualify for any need-based aid. So ds1 is at a state school with a total cost of less than $25,000 per year and a four-year guarantee against price increases. After $6,000 in scholarships and generous help from his grandfather, we are able to pay the rest out of dh's salary. I picked up a seasonal job to cover textbooks, and ds works part-time on campus to earn his own spending money. Since our two kids are four years apart, we will only have one in college at a time. 

[Crimson Wife]

We told our kids that state universities were the only option for college because we didn't want them to go deeply into debt for their education, and we weren't willing to do that either.

 

It's too late for your oldest, but please reconsider this policy for your high schooler because private colleges may actually cost LESS than public ones for many low-to-moderate income families once financial aid is taken into consideration. http://www.mercurynews.com/breaking-news/ci_20101265

 

ETA: This attitude is a HUGE pet peeve of mine because it's what my IL's tried to do to my DH. Fortunately, he didn't allow them to scare him off and he was able to graduate from Stanford debt-free rather than the no-name state school they insisted he should attend (and that his younger siblings did attend even though BIL also got accepted to Notre Dame).

Edited March 20, 2016 by Crimson Wife

[teachermom2834]

It's too late for your oldest, but please reconsider this policy for your high schooler because private colleges may actually cost LESS than public ones for many low-to-moderate income families once financial aid is taken into consideration. http://www.mercurynews.com/breaking-news/ci_20101265

 

ETA: This attitude is a HUGE pet peeve of mine because it's what my IL's tried to do to my DH. Fortunately, he didn't allow them to scare him off and he was able to graduate from Stanford debt-free rather than the no-name state school they insisted he should attend (and that his younger siblings did attend even though BIL also got accepted to Notre Dame).

We are moderate income and we had one private school come in under state school and two more very close. It is true state schools are in general less expensive but not always. We actually have a medium sized respectable Christian university in town that runs tuition and fees in line with state flagship but gives more aid.

[creekland]

Two of my three did better with private schools than they did with state schools cost-wise.

 

My third is within a couple thousand and the private school had both a good fit and was terrific in what he wanted to major in - state schools were not.  

 

It will depend upon the state, the private school, and the student.

 

No regrets at all.

[Matryoshka]

It's too late for your oldest, but please reconsider this policy for your high schooler because private colleges may actually cost LESS than public ones for many low-to-moderate income families once financial aid is taken into consideration. http://www.mercurynews.com/breaking-news/ci_20101265

 

I think there's no way to really know in advance, and it makes sense to apply to a variety of kinds of schools that are good fits.

 

I kept hearing this story, actually, so I made sure to have dd apply to a bunch of private schools as well as public.  Turns out in our case that none of the private schools, even with lots of merit and grants, came down to even the list price of the public schools - or anywhere close to our EFC (so did not come close to meeting full need) - and a couple of the public schools gave generous aid, even though I kept hearing public schools were stingy, so that their net price was even less, and rather than merit aid closing the gap between public and private tuitions, the reality was they were even farther apart.

 

So, in some cases private schools end up being as cheap or cheaper than public, and in some cases public ends up being an even better deal than you thought to begin with.  And not all public U's are crappy, by a long shot.

 

 

ETA: This attitude is a HUGE pet peeve of mine because it's what my IL's tried to do to my DH. Fortunately, he didn't allow them to scare him off and he was able to graduate from Stanford debt-free rather than the no-name state school they insisted he should attend (and that his younger siblings did attend even though BIL also got accepted to Notre Dame).

 

 

It's true that the really elite schools are now known for giving great aid and meeting full need.  Dd had competitive stats, but even so did not want to apply to those as she didn't think she'd want to go to school with the kind of super-competitive kids who get into those places (she just finished up 4 years of high school with those kids).  But if your kid has both the stats and personality for those tippy-top schools, they do give great aid, or so I hear...

Edited March 20, 2016 by Matryoshka

[Lori D.]

I think there's no way to really know in advance, and it makes sense to apply to a variety of kinds of schools that are good fits.

 

I kept hearing this story, actually, so I made sure to have dd apply to a bunch of private schools as well as public.  Turns out in our case that none of the private schools, even with lots of merit and grants, came down to even the list price of the public schools - or anywhere close to our EFC (so did not come close to meeting full need) - and a couple of the public schools gave generous aid, even though I kept hearing public schools were stingy, so that their net price was even less, and rather than merit aid closing the gap between public and private tuitions, the reality was they were even farther apart.

 

So, in some cases private schools end up being as cheap or cheaper than public, and in some cases public ends up being an even better deal than you thought to begin with.  And not all public U's are crappy, by a long shot...

 

:iagree: 

 

Our experience: tuition at the smaller in-state-but-out-of-town private college tuition is actually about $2500/year *lower* than the in-town state U. AND the smaller private college offers much more generous merit aid than state U.

 

BUT, because the smaller private college is out of town, that's another $8-10K/year for room and board that is not a cost for the student attending the more expense, but in-town state U, as the student can reduce a lot of costs by living and home and commuting.

 

If we had been eligible for Federal Aid (Pell grants, work study), that is money that could have been applied towards housing/food, but we weren't eligible. Also, I haven't been finding any schools giving aid for room and board -- most aid is towards tuition, and sometimes books. And the average merit-aid amounts I have been seeing for students with high academics is about 50% of tuition -- nothing towards other expenses.

 

So if you still have to pay for room and board, ANY out of town school is going to be expensive. You just have to dig around to see what's available to you and weigh all the factors -- finance being one of those factors -- when making the choice about which school to attend.

[Crimson Wife]

  And not all public U's are crappy, by a long shot.

 

There are absolutely some excellent public universities out there. I live within commuting distance of UC Berkeley and I'd be thrilled if any of my kids got in and decided to attend. Unfortunately, the college that my IL's pushed DH to attend is not remotely that caliber. It just happens to be the closest one to where they live.

[creekland]

I think there's no way to really know in advance, and it makes sense to apply to a variety of kinds of schools that are good fits.

 

...

 

So, in some cases private schools end up being as cheap or cheaper than public, and in some cases public ends up being an even better deal than you thought to begin with.  And not all public U's are crappy, by a long shot.

 

Totally agreed!

 

Not all privates are super good either.  ;)

 

It's wise for those with financial need to apply to a variety to see what works for their student.

 

And again, the state matters.  Some states are really good with aid.  Then there are the others.   :glare:

[JanetC]

Yes, do consider this. Most of my daughter's aid was need based, and we too were reluctant for me to return to work for fear that my income would not balance out lost aid.

 

Regards,

Kareni

Two things: with prior-prior year FAFSA, you can now go back to work during your youngest student's sophomore year (after Jan 1) rather than junior year and not have the new job show up on the FAFSA. Some individual colleges may still ask for the prior year tax return so this won't apply to everyone.

 

A good rule of thumb is to go back to work if you are ok with keeping only about a third of what you make. So, if the job pays 3,000, expect to lose about 2,000 in taxes and reduced aid and have 1,000 for the household. That's not including any costs of working such as gas for the car, work clothes, takeout food for meals you are no longer home to cook, etc. The actual improvement in family resources will easily be less. For a small side job it probably is not worth it.

[G5052]

A good rule of thumb is to go back to work if you are ok with keeping only about a third of what you make. So, if the job pays 3,000, expect to lose about 2,000 in taxes and reduced aid and have 1,000 for the household. That's not including any costs of working such as gas for the car, work clothes, takeout food for meals you are no longer home to cook, etc. The actual improvement in family resources will easily be less. For a small side job it probably is not worth it.

 

Similar to what a friend of mine found. The "away" expenses, taxes, and loss of financial aid didn't really make it worthwhile to work outside.

 

She has a few older kids that she does after school and school holiday care for in her home, but that's it. She gets some tax write-offs for in-home care that make it worthwhile. It isn't enough $ to affect the need-based aid but helps their overall finances.

[bugs]

Two things: with prior-prior year FAFSA, you can now go back to work during your youngest student's sophomore year (after Jan 1) rather than junior year and not have the new job show up on the FAFSA. Some individual colleges may still ask for the prior year tax return so this won't apply to everyone.

 

A good rule of thumb is to go back to work if you are ok with keeping only about a third of what you make. So, if the job pays 3,000, expect to lose about 2,000 in taxes and reduced aid and have 1,000 for the household. That's not including any costs of working such as gas for the car, work clothes, takeout food for meals you are no longer home to cook, etc. The actual improvement in family resources will easily be less. For a small side job it probably is not worth it.

 

Thanks for that perspective.

Edited March 21, 2016 by bugs

[mommyoffive]

Two things: with prior-prior year FAFSA, you can now go back to work during your youngest student's sophomore year (after Jan 1) rather than junior year and not have the new job show up on the FAFSA. Some individual colleges may still ask for the prior year tax return so this won't apply to everyone.

 

A good rule of thumb is to go back to work if you are ok with keeping only about a third of what you make. So, if the job pays 3,000, expect to lose about 2,000 in taxes and reduced aid and have 1,000 for the household. That's not including any costs of working such as gas for the car, work clothes, takeout food for meals you are no longer home to cook, etc. The actual improvement in family resources will easily be less. For a small side job it probably is not worth it.

 

Holy smokes

[Ann.without.an.e]

We have never had the money to save for college and we do not really have much to put toward college and we can't exactly take on loans since we don't have retirement  :confused1:   We will help our kids as much as we can.  Thankfully both of my dd's are pretty smart so our hope is that they will get into a full need met school and not have to take on too much in loans.  DS is an ok student.  I see him ending up with a decent ACT score and grades but no where near my girls.  Thankfully, he is sandwiched between two high stats girls which will mean someone else will be in school the entire time he is in school, lowering his EFC.  I could even see him living at home and going to a local Uni or another state Uni.  He has some health issues so I am hesitant for him to be in a dorm situation anyway.  There is a space between youngest DD and youngest DS so I know that we will pay a lot more for him (he will be our only dependent then) but we *should* have less expenses with him being the only kid in college and hopefully the other three will be self supporting   :tongue_smilie:  Not really a plan but if it all works out, hopefully no one will end up so school poor they can't recover.

Edited October 8, 2016 by Attolia

[swimmermom3]

Two things: with prior-prior year FAFSA, you can now go back to work during your youngest student's sophomore year (after Jan 1) rather than junior year and not have the new job show up on the FAFSA. Some individual colleges may still ask for the prior year tax return so this won't apply to everyone.

 

A good rule of thumb is to go back to work if you are ok with keeping only about a third of what you make. So, if the job pays 3,000, expect to lose about 2,000 in taxes and reduced aid and have 1,000 for the household. That's not including any costs of working such as gas for the car, work clothes, takeout food for meals you are no longer home to cook, etc. The actual improvement in family resources will easily be less. For a small side job it probably is not worth it.

 

Janet, this is really helpful.

 

However, one consideration is whether the only reason you are taking on a job is to pay for college.

 

I have around 12+ years before retirement.  Starting a second career at this stage may not make a difference for college payments, but frankly I think it's probably easier to start now than in four years when ds is done with school. At that time, I will be four years older and there is no guarantee that the job market will be as strong then as it is now in our area. A second income over the next decade will make a difference in our retirement account at some point.

 

[Gwen in VA]

One other pro of working -- getting vested in social security.

[Ravin]

My DH is still in school, and I'm a recent grad. My loans will hopefully be forgiven in 9 years. His will probably be in IBR until he is 70-75 yo.

 

The kids? We will probably find a way to pay out of pocket for DD, who plans to go to cosmetology school. DS I will encourage to join the military if he continues on the trajectory of good health and ability he seems to be on now.

[swimmermom3]

One other pro of working -- getting vested in social security.

 

This is no small thing if you have been out of the work force for several years.

[G5052]

This is no small thing if you have been out of the work force for several years.

 

Of course I support people's choices, but I have no regrets that I've worked all along. You just don't know what the future will hold.

 

It gives me peace of mind to know that I do indeed have Social Security if I become disabled at any time and of course when I retire. I also have a small pension that I'll be able to take without reduction in four years in addition to investments that I can start drawing from at that time. It is highly probable that I will live longer than DH.

 

DH is retiring in December for medical reasons, and my work plus his pension will get us by. A little tight, but we'll be fine. He'll be eligible for Social Security in less than a year. His health insurance continues into retirement, but one of my gigs also offers that as an option. I'm glad that the FAFSA is based on the previous year for convenience, but that's a downside for us because our income will be less from 2017 on. Of course you can make a statement to that affect with financial aid applications, but one financial aid officer ran the numbers for me, and I still don't think we'd be eligible under their criteria.

 

In contrast, DH's older brother's family is scrambling because he had a significant stroke in May. Then his diabetes flared, and he is now legally blind as of September. So he's retiring as well. They have his Social Security and a small pension. They'll get 1/2 his salary for a year because he had a disability policy. Unfortunately, that's not enough for their family of six a year from now. In time, he'll be the only one with health insurance because he's eligible for Medicare, but his employer-paid insurance ends with his retirement, and COBRA only goes so far. Three of the children are out of high school and are working, but none of them are eligible for employer-paid health insurance. His wife is scrambling, trying to find work. Thus far, she's only been able find part-time retail work with no health insurance. They've looked at the federal plans and sharing plans, and really can't afford those either, although they haven't applied yet. Two of their graduates were thinking of starting college this fall, but put it off. Needless to say, a lot of concerns there.

Edited October 14, 2016 by G5052

[TammyS]

We have never viewed it as a parental duty to pay for college.  I viewed it as my duty to best position my children to receive the best merit aid possible.  Ironically, my son get awesome SAT scores, etc., and ended up at a LAC that only gives need aid (which is fine, because they gave him a lot).  He could have lived at home and gone to the StateU for free, but he didn't like the campus culture.  When he graduates, he's welcome to live at home, as long as he's paying off his loans (a loan repayment plan will be his "rent",  so to speak).  He should be able to pay them off in 1 year, as long as he lives frugally for that year.  He looked into Officer Candidate School to help pay, but ultimately he was too tall for the military (go figure).  He might look into a 5th year teaching cert to get loan forgiveness, but I don't think he's hunted up the details yet.

 

It's not perfect, I guess, but I think he'll live. 

[TranquilMind]

Had rentals for 20 years.  Sold one when oldest entered university.  One learned another language to the university level and passed the test to enter directly in another country. Fees are inexpensive there and the education is much better (especially for this degree). 

[Tenaj]

I skimmed through all the posts and I don't think anyone has mentioned this, but my dh works at a college that offers tuition remission for faculty and staff.  Right now it is 100% though I'm not sure that percentage will hold all the way through my children's educational years.   It's a huge benefit!  Yes, not all of our children may want to attend that particular college but we've told them it there and it's free for you because of a deliberate choice we've made over the years so if you want to use it fine, if not, you're on your own for tuition.

 

I know that my own mother was able to get full-time work at a private college near my home town and received the same tuition benefit for my two younger brothers when they were going through school.  I think for one it was a reduced-percentage tuition remission because she hadn't worked there long enough but for the other it was complete tuition remission.  

 

I just wanted to through that possibility out there since there were people talking about going back to work to pay for college.  You may want to look into the possibilities that exist in your areas.

[bettyandbob]

I skimmed through all the posts and I don't think anyone has mentioned this, but my dh works at a college that offers tuition remission for faculty and staff. Right now it is 100% though I'm not sure that percentage will hold all the way through my children's educational years. It's a huge benefit! Yes, not all of our children may want to attend that particular college but we've told them it there and it's free for you because of a deliberate choice we've made over the years so if you want to use it fine, if not, you're on your own for tuition.

 

I know that my own mother was able to get full-time work at a private college near my home town and received the same tuition benefit for my two younger brothers when they were going through school. I think for one it was a reduced-percentage tuition remission because she hadn't worked there long enough but for the other it was complete tuition remission.

 

I just wanted to through that possibility out there since there were people talking about going back to work to pay for college. You may want to look into the possibilities that exist in your areas.

My BIL changed careers to become an RN. He picked the hospital where he got his job based on tuition assistance. His children were eligible for free tuition at any university in the country. I've heard the RN positions at university hospitals often have some tuition benefit, maybe not as generous.

[swimmermom3]

Of course I support people's choices, but I have no regrets that I've worked all along. You just don't know what the future will hold.

 

 

I hope there wasn't anything in my post that made you think I was commenting one way or the other about the choices to stay at home or to go to work while raising children.  I was only acknowledging that my choice to be home will certainly make a negative difference in the amount of social security I could pull.

[AFwife Claire]

When our second son goes off to college next summer, we'll have 2 in college, and we'll continue to have 2 kids in college for the next 18 years--except for the 2 years when we'll have 3 in college.  Just wanted to make everyone else feel better, lol.

 

My DH is the youngest of 6 kids.  His parents paid for his oldest sister to attend a private Catholic university near their house, and also for her to spend a semester studying abroad.  There was nothing left for anyone else, and that did cause a TON of resentment among the other kids.  My DH ended up graduating from the Air Force Academy, so he didn't have to pay anything--but the relationship with that sister is quite strained.  We knew we weren't going to spend a ton of money on the oldest at the expense of others, so we've pretty much said to them all that we don't feel it is our responsibility to pay for their college--scholarships, work-study programs, etc. are all good options.  Like others have said, our job is to provide a rigorous education so that hopefully merit aid is a possibility (and to look for places where it is).  My dh is a retired lieutenant colonel, so he has a good retirement--but we live in Northern VA, so a really high COL, plus all those kids, lol.  He works as a government contractor now and will for the foreseeable future. A good salary plus retirement makes it so we will never in a million years qualify for any need aid.

 

DS1 is on a 4 year ROTC scholarship that pays full tuition, fees, and books, plus gives him a monthly stipend.  He also received several smaller scholarships that are covering about half his room and board.  

 

DS2 is applying now to colleges.  He is also applying for an ROTC scholarship, but thanks to this board, a good safety for him (as a future engineering major) is University of Alabama-Huntsville, since it gives automatic merit aid, and he qualifies for free tuition there.  He is not as interested in ROTC, although he sees it as a good way to pay for college and have a job right out of college.  If he gets a scholarship and does ROTC in college, he would definitely be a "5 and dive" type--I don't see the military as a career for him.  

 

DS3 will not have a military option, since he has a peanut allergy and asthma, which are not waiverable conditions.  It's hard for me to not have ROTC as a fall-back for him, honestly.  He just took the PSAT for the first time Wednesday, and he'll take the SAT next month for the first time (he's a freshman).  I am quite curious to see what his baseline scores will be, since merit aid will be very important for him.

 

And who knows about the others?!  We have relatives who have done work-study or internship programs that have worked very well.  I will definitely be looking into things like that in the future.  We trust the Lord will provide a way for each child, even if it doesn't look exactly like our plans or ideals.  

[Lori D.]

...we don't feel it is our responsibility to pay for their college--scholarships, work-study programs, etc. are all good options...

 

...My dh is a retired lieutenant colonel, so he has a good retirement--but we live in Northern VA, so a really high COL, plus all those kids, lol.  He works as a government contractor now and will for the foreseeable future. A good salary plus retirement makes it so we will never in a million years qualify for any need aid...

 

...We have relatives who have done work-study or internship programs that have worked very well.  I will definitely be looking into things like that in the future...

 

Just so you know... Federal Work Study money is tied to need, based on your financials when you fill out the FAFSA form. The financial information you enter on the FAFSA (from your income tax form), is put into an equation, which creates an EFC (Estimated Family Contribution) number. If your EFC number is higher than what is allowable for Federal aid, your student will not be eligible for Work Study money.

 

But it sounds like you are already aware that your DH's good salary will put your EFC out of reach of most Federal Aid (Work Study, Pell Grants, FSEOG grants), which is dependent on your EFC number. The one Federal grant a student may be eligible for regardless of EFC is the TEACH grant, which requires that the student be working towards a teaching degree.

 

You may find it helpful to look at the thread "s/o Cautionary Tale/High Cost of College: a brainstorming $$ ideas thread!" for quite a few alternative ideas for reducing college costs, as merit aid does not always pan out for a student, or may not be enough for the student to be to afford college.

 

BEST of luck to ALL of your students and their various future educational paths! Warmest regards, Lori D.

Edited October 23, 2016 by Lori D.

[Granny_Weatherwax]

I skimmed through all the posts and I don't think anyone has mentioned this, but my dh works at a college that offers tuition remission for faculty and staff.  Right now it is 100% though I'm not sure that percentage will hold all the way through my children's educational years.   It's a huge benefit!  Yes, not all of our children may want to attend that particular college but we've told them it there and it's free for you because of a deliberate choice we've made over the years so if you want to use it fine, if not, you're on your own for tuition.

 

I know that my own mother was able to get full-time work at a private college near my home town and received the same tuition benefit for my two younger brothers when they were going through school.  I think for one it was a reduced-percentage tuition remission because she hadn't worked there long enough but for the other it was complete tuition remission.  

 

I just wanted to through that possibility out there since there were people talking about going back to work to pay for college.  You may want to look into the possibilities that exist in your areas.

Yes, tuition remission is a possibility for some but shouldn't and can't be viewed as a feasible method for the majority of parents out there. I live in a town with a top LAC. That school is quite picky with their hiring practices. It has a history of not hiring people with high school aged children- students who may use the remission opportunity. Employment at the LAC is highly desirable and many people take low paying positions (i.e. food service) when their children are young and work for years in order to get the tuition remission benefit. If a person is hired, and there has been a hiring freeze for many years due to budget issues, in order to qualify for tuition remission a person must work FT for two years. After that the employee's student is eligible for tuition remission at 14 schools in a consortium. The student is not guaranteed acceptance and must apply to each school and gain admissions.

 

The local CC has tuition remission for all FT employees but not for adjuncts. My children would have to pay full price in order to attend the CC even though I am teaching a full load. My pay would barely cover the tuition and fees for one student for one semester. I am allowed to take one free course a semester if I carried a full load the previous semester; I earn one credit hour per course taught.

[FaithManor]

And of course the tuition remission only works IF the student is accepted which not guaranteed. My alam mater gives tuition remission - theoretically - but short of being so darn high stats combined with "I started my own business, volunteered 20 hrs per week at the homeless shelter, have 12 AP's with 5's on the exams, and was nominated for the Nobel Prize when I was 15" the student is not getting in despite the fact that this would be the number one prize student for them and shoulders above the average student in terms of mere numbers.

 

Some of my professors and several staff members that I knew, realized when the 2nd, 3rd, 4th kid did not get in that it was a hiring ruse and as soon as they could get a job elsewhere, left.

 

Very underhanded, but from what I am hearin from friends in academia, not uncommon. So consider tuition remission for the offspring of employees to be a long shot, then if it actually materializes, have a party!

[AFwife Claire]

Just so you know... Federal Work Study money is tied to need, based on your financials when you fill out the FAFSA form. The financial information you enter on the FAFSA (from your income tax form), is put into an equation, which creates an EFC (Estimated Family Contribution) number. If your EFC number is higher than what is allowable for Federal aid, your student will not be eligible for Work Study money.

 

 

No, that's not really what I was talking about, and I used the wrong terms, I think!  My niece did a work CO-OP, I think the term is, where she went to school for a semester, then worked for a certain company for a semester, and kept on like that.  Then she get an excellent job after graduating (as an industrial engineer) because she already had so much experience.  It wasn't anything tied to need, but something she got through contacts at her university (Pitt).  It certainly worked out well for her, though!

Edited October 23, 2016 by AFwife Claire

[TammyS]

 It has a history of not hiring people with high school aged children- students who may use the remission opportunity.

 

I wonder if that's even legal?  Also, how would they know how many/ages of your children?  I've never been asked in a job interview about my children.

[TechWife]

I wonder if that's even legal?  Also, how would they know how many/ages of your children?  I've never been asked in a job interview about my children.

 

Of course it isn't legal - it's basically age discrimination. Age discrimination is rampant in hiring practices in many industries throughout the US. Companies simply don't want to pay for experienced people. Not only do they command higher salaries, but they are likelier to have higher health insurance costs as well. Then, you throw in the fact that they may take advantage of a college tuition program for their kids and it ends up being terribly expensive for an employer. Once in an interview, the grey hairs often work against potential employees. My sister dyed her hair when she was job hunting in her 50's, and understandably so. Age is one thing that can be difficult to hide at any point in our lives because each of our bodies tells a life story. 

[Granny_Weatherwax]

I wonder if that's even legal?  Also, how would they know how many/ages of your children?  I've never been asked in a job interview about my children.

No, it's not legal but it's also not difficult to find out basic information especially if the job applicant grew up here. It's a small town; unless someone is new to the area, there isn't anything that is totally private. Most of the jobs go to people who know people who already work for the school. You can't hide your social history when the head of HR went to high school with your parents, for example.

 

It's a drawback of small town living.

[Vida Winter]

No, that's not really what I was talking about, and I used the wrong terms, I think!  My niece did a work CO-OP, I think the term is, where she went to school for a semester, then worked for a certain company for a semester, and kept on like that.  Then she get an excellent job after graduating (as an industrial engineer) because she already had so much experience.  It wasn't anything tied to need, but something she got through contacts at her university (Pitt).  It certainly worked out well for her, though!

 

This is what I did. The negative is that it delays graduation quite a bit, but the positives were worth it.

[swimmermom3]

We managed the undergrad with #1 with no debt. Her private school was VERY generous. She has some from her second master's. She's breaking even on the doctorate, between her sewing business and playing at various orchestras. #2 wrote a blank check up to and possibly including her life to the US military for her education. She's using her GI Bill for the master's. #3 managed with no debt from her ROTC, unless of course, you count her insanely expensive surgeries because of the military. And no, the military did not cover them. She is now out of the Army. She'll graduate this winter with just a bit of debt. She works two jobs. #4 is managing between ROTC, working half-time AND being in ROTC. He's also living in a hovel. He even lived in his car for part of one year (as did dd#1). Dh is one year away from being able to "retire" (ranchers never retire) and this is dd's senior year. She has some good money from her #1 choice right now, bringing it to less than a state school. We pay off a rental in less than a year so that money will go towards tuition. 

 

I want to reiterate that state schools are OFTEN more expensive than private schools. It has been that way for a number of my kids. 

 

eta: I won't need to take any classes until after dd graduates, so that will help.Youngest dd's DE tuition will go towards her away school next year. Middle will be graduated (though she's self-sufficient these days) and we'll only have one year of overlap with ds. That middle dd has had a LOT of scholarships over the years--we have a fancy dinner for her to receive one this weekend. And ds is self-sufficient too--he has his ROTC, and his school scholarships. We never dreamed we'd be in the boat of qualifying for welfare right now, but dh ran afoul of county politics and lost his job. However, because of the ranch, we don't qualify for any aid. 

 

another eta: Navy girl sold her sheep flock which paid for a fair amount of travel to Annapolis, middle dd sold her Shetland sheep flock which covered her rent for one year, along with her steer money, and youngest will sell HER sheep flock. That will help. My kids have been pretty careful with their 4-H animal money over the years.

 

Oldest still owes us for part of her modern violin, but we'll forgive that debt when she finishes the doctorate. She doesn't know that, though.  :laugh:

 

Margaret, I have always enjoyed reading through the years about your children's pathways and their accomplishments.  However, I must have missed the story about how your dd is no longer in the Army.  Perhaps it is similar to that of my dd's former boyfriend, who had wanted for most of his life to be an Army Ranger?  In a training jump with winds that exceeded the allowed standard, he shattered a knee, but fared better than a young woman who broke her back. I hope your dd heals well and finds an even better path.

 

You must be very proud of them all.  You and your dh have done an amazing job in raising resourceful, resilient, and determined young people.

 

 

[Nan in Mass]

I know lots of people are thinking hard about this right now.  Bumping this in case it helps someone, although somehow this does not really feel like one of those knowledge-is-power things...

 

: )

Nan

[Nan in Mass]

Well, I just read through what I posted back in October. Life has taken another twist and turn, with dh diagnosed with Stage IV melanoma. These next 4 years of college for dd are going to be interesting.  :grouphug:  to all trying to figure out their next steps. 

 

How awful! I am so so sorry!

 

We've had some life happen since I posted, too.  It always does, I guess.

 

Hugs,

Nan

[Tiramisu]

Well, I just read through what I posted back in October. Life has taken another twist and turn, with dh diagnosed with Stage IV melanoma. These next 4 years of college for dd are going to be interesting. :grouphug: to all trying to figure out their next steps.

You have always been a generous help and an inspiration. Your dh and your family are in my prayers.

[Granny_Weatherwax]

I just read what I wrote and it's no longer accurate. DD ended up with twice as many loans as we thought and we had to put some of DS's expenses on a credit card. We are still economizing but it's becoming more difficult to find ways to cut back as living expenses in my town and state just keep rising. We are concerned about DS's final two years and we are relying on him to maintain his GPA and his outside scholarships. Without those, we don't know what we would do.

[Hoggirl]

Well, I just read through what I posted back in October. Life has taken another twist and turn, with dh diagnosed with Stage IV melanoma. These next 4 years of college for dd are going to be interesting. :grouphug: to all trying to figure out their next steps.

I am so sorry.

[8filltheheart]

Well, I just read through what I posted back in October. Life has taken another twist and turn, with dh diagnosed with Stage IV melanoma. These next 4 years of college for dd are going to be interesting. :grouphug: to all trying to figure out their next steps.

Oh, Margaret, I am so sorry. Prayers for your entire family, especially for your dh.

[regentrude]

Well, I just read through what I posted back in October. Life has taken another twist and turn, with dh diagnosed with Stage IV melanoma. These next 4 years of college for dd are going to be interesting.  :grouphug:  to all trying to figure out their next steps. 

 

I am so sorry, Margaret. You and your family are my thoughts.

[creekland]

Well, I just read through what I posted back in October. Life has taken another twist and turn, with dh diagnosed with Stage IV melanoma. These next 4 years of college for dd are going to be interesting.  :grouphug:  to all trying to figure out their next steps. 

 

:grouphug:   I wish the Power of the Hive could fix this.  I'm so sorry you're having to go through it as a family.  My prayers are with you.   :grouphug:

[Ann.without.an.e]

Well, I just read through what I posted back in October. Life has taken another twist and turn, with dh diagnosed with Stage IV melanoma. These next 4 years of college for dd are going to be interesting.  :grouphug:  to all trying to figure out their next steps. 

 

 

Oh no, Margaret I am so sorry  :grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

[JanetC]

I am so sorry. Hugs to your family as you try to find the correct next steps.

[Kathy in Richmond]

Oh Margaret, I am so sorry to hear about your husband! Sending many :grouphug: :grouphug: hugs and prayers for his CT scan results. Cancer sucks.

[Vida Winter]

(((Margaret))), praying for your husband and your whole family. :grouphug:

[tampamommy]

Margaret, you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

[Guest]

I am sorry to hear the news. My prayers are with you and your family, Margaret.