Prairie~Phlox Posted February 3, 2016 Share Posted February 3, 2016 (edited) Ok, I hate to be complaining, I have a df, I met her about 8 years ago, she was in our church for a while & then switched & recently came back last fall. We've started walking together & praying on the phone in the mornings. I get texts from her all day long, "how's your day going?" Pretty regularly, in the evening "how's your evening?" If I don't text back, I know she wonders why & pretty much expects a response, because she always says "I texted so & so & they haven't responded. Even just this morning, I just talked with her at 7:30 & at 9:40, she wanted to know if I had so & so's number, so I sent it & she sent a few other things & then "how's your day going?" I responded with "busy working with the boys can't talk now" & that got her to stop. She doesn't work, is insecure about some things & doesn't homeschool. I hate being mean, but I get annoyed, plus when her texts come through, it's 4-5 beeps because of her phone. Anyway, I just needed to vent. Does anyone else have this problem with people? She's only had a cell phone since last fall. Edited February 3, 2016 by Prairie~Phlox Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janie Grace Posted February 3, 2016 Share Posted February 3, 2016 I think different people have a different expectation of how quickly one should answer texts. She will get used to the fact that you are a slower answerer than she is. Just answer at a pace that's comfortable for you and eventually she will catch on. Turn off your ringer if you don't want to hear beeps. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted February 3, 2016 Share Posted February 3, 2016 I regularly do not check or look at my cell during our school hours. I might tell her you and your kids are finding your phone distracting during the day and are silencing it. You are under no obligation to text back on any particular time table. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marbel Posted February 3, 2016 Share Posted February 3, 2016 I'd say something to set her expectations. "When I'm homeschooling, I don't check my phone, so don't expect to hear back from me right away." Sounds like she is just lonely and wants to chat. That's what I come here for. :-) 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reefgazer Posted February 3, 2016 Share Posted February 3, 2016 I am often late responding to texts, so people expect that of me. So.....make it the expectation that you will be late responding and it will probably die down on its own. Respond once in the evening, saying something like "Had a great day, but busy", and let it go at that. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinder Posted February 3, 2016 Share Posted February 3, 2016 Oh my, I can see how that would get old fast. I have a few friends that I regularly text but not every day, much less several times a day, unless we're trying to set something up like a lunch date. I know not everyone's glued to their phones so it's ok (among us) not to hear back for several hours or even up to a whole day. I don't know how I'd respond to someone so needy. Sounds like you might need to have a gentle talk with her about the issue though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bolt. Posted February 3, 2016 Share Posted February 3, 2016 "We'll talk in the morning. Have a great day! (emoji)" <-- rinse, repeat. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-rap Posted February 3, 2016 Share Posted February 3, 2016 Don't respond except when you're comfortable responding. Then, she'll begin to learn your pattern and won't wonder about it. If she ever asks you about it, just vaguely tell her that you're not too into texting and only check it now and then. And that it's nothing personal. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TammyS Posted February 3, 2016 Share Posted February 3, 2016 I agree with what the others have said and will add this: it sounds like she needs a job. Paid or volunteer work, either way, but somewhere to be and something to give her day some structure. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katy Posted February 3, 2016 Share Posted February 3, 2016 Yeah, I'd just text and say "I'm sorry, I can't answer texts this often. I know I was, but I realized I've been too distracted by the phone lately to do as well with homeschooling as I was before the texts." And then put down the phone and ignore it. Until that evening or maybe the next morning. Whenever is convenient. She'll catch on. If she doesn't catch on, temporarily change her ringtone to a silent one for two weeks or longer. That way you can see the missed calls and texts when YOU want, not when she wants, and still get texts from other people. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happi duck Posted February 3, 2016 Share Posted February 3, 2016 (edited) I have someone who phones a lot. I told her that I don't usually answer during the day but please leave a message. It worked out. She knows I don't mind if she calls and leaves a bunch of messages and I don't need to drop everything. Sometimes I call back in the evening but often times don't depending on the message. It's okay to tell this person that you don't text during the school day...or that you don't like to text and prefer to talk during your walks. Also, ime people who walk together and pray together are usually really close...I wonder if you and she see your level of intimacy differently. Edited February 3, 2016 by happi duck Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Prairie~Phlox Posted February 3, 2016 Author Share Posted February 3, 2016 Yeah, I'd just text and say "I'm sorry, I can't answer texts this often. I know I was, but I realized I've been too distracted by the phone lately to do as well with homeschooling as I was before the texts." And then put down the phone and ignore it. Until that evening or maybe the next morning. Whenever is convenient. She'll catch on. If she doesn't catch on, temporarily change her ringtone to a silent one for two weeks or longer. That way you can see the missed calls and texts when YOU want, not when she wants, and still get texts from other people. I didn't even think about silent ringtones. Thanks, I just set it. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted February 4, 2016 Share Posted February 4, 2016 My sister gets on a roll sometimes. I just let her go on and I get back to her when I can. :) Unless she's just venting, then I don't always respond at all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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