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Merry

Leggins on teenage boys?

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My fourteen year old son first started out wearing skinny jeans last spring.  Then a friend of his, a girl, bought him a pair of leggings for him without my knowledge.  He wants to wear them in public but I have forbidden him to do so.  But he does wear them around the house along with a pair of high topped boots. 

 

Are the teenage boys now wearing leggings to school and other places?  Is that a new fashion fad?  For sure, the conservative homeschool and church groups would freak out if they were to see him in the leggings.

 

If this is really a legitimate fashion choice,  then I might let him wear the leggings to the mall and the park if he really wants to.  What do you think?

 

 

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I think they are called meggings (man-leggings), but I've mostly seen them made fun of, even in fashion magazines.

 

Mind you, I'd let him wear them as long as they aren't positively indecent.  Maybe not to school, depending on what the convention there is.  If people freak out, he'll either decide he doesn't want to wear them any more, or that he doesn't care about social pressure over clothes, which would not be a bad thing.

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My daughter isn't even allowed to wear leggings outside of the house, except in place of tights under a skirt. :001_smile:

I have seen younger guys wearing them around town, near artsy schools.

"Jeggings" seem to be pretty popular with that crowd.

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Around here, socially, a male in leggings is ridicule bait. He will be ridiculed--not might be, will.

 

Personally, I don't like leggings on women either. I just don't like leggings. To me they look ridiculous on anyone over the age of 6ish.

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Does he want to wear girls' clothing specifically? Is it something larger than wearing this particular item of clothing? If I'm remembering past posts correctly, I would discuss this with the therapist and come to a workable solution for your family.

 

My oldest daughter wears fully opaque, thick leggings only with long tunics that come past her rear. Thin leggings are in the footless tights category and go under dresses.

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Just saw a high schooler wearing leggings under his shorts today. Seems to be a thing around here so they can wear shorts in the freezing cold.

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This would not be a big deal in my world.  My son has worn tights/leggings in performance settings.  My DH has running gear that is very legging like.  If he wanted to wear them out in the real world, I'd let him.  I might tell him some might find it odd.  If he got some negative feedback and decided he didn't want to anymore, his choice.

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Are they compression leggings? Ds and many of his friends wear them for hockey and other sports; someone already mentioned running. I don't see too many people out and about in public, though, unless they have shorts over them.

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Some leggings could be pretty awful on a guy.  They would have to be worn with something over the crotch in most cases I think, or you'd have the Labyrinth effect.

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 Meggings are more popular in the UK than they are here.  Asos and other stores carry them and Justin Bieber and others have been seen in public in them.  That said, I'm kinda eh on whether I'd let my teen boy wear them.  They are, by nature, not very modest.  Clingy revealing clothing in any variety gets a raised eyebrow here.  I'd ask that he wear shorts over them.

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I wear leggings. My almost six year old likes to wear leggings, and honestly, I think it looks better than sweats. I don't have a teen, but I don't see why not as long as they are thick enough.

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I'm pretty sure I have NOT seen that here in Texas. And I'm not so sure that's a bad thing. :/

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Leggings are not trousers, and are inappropriate unless worn with a top that covers crotch and rear.  That's my opinion, and has been since my daughter was about 5 or so.  (My son never wanted to wear leggings.)

 

Males around here wear them with athletic shorts worn over. 

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They're not new. http://www.nytimes.com/2014/04/06/fashion/the-few-the-brave-men-in-tights.html?_r=0

 

Personally, I am not a big fan of tights without something covering them, but heck, if my child decided to express himself sartorially in that way I certainly wouldn't forbid it. I wouldn't want someone forbidding me from dressing a certain way, so who am I to make that decision for someone else? Kids need freedom to experiment and doing so with clothes seems a pretty harmless way to do it.

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I'd probably only be concerned with how tight they are and whether it's a modesty issue. How tight are they? Does he wear a shirt that covers his parts so they're not on display?  It's kind of how we might talk to our daughters about showing too much cleavage or wearing a shirt that's too tight with a bra that's too thin and shows too much.    But I can't get caught up on whether it's fashionable or not...saggy pants down to knees with undies showing was fashionable. Still thought it was dumb. 

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If modesty is a concern, he could always wear them with a dress or skirt, in the style of fashion trend-setters Jaden Smith or Kanye West.

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A lot of teens around here dress very androgynously. That's what this sounds like.

 

My philosophy is, if they aren't going to get arrested, whatever.

 

I would find it less annoying and roll-eyes worthy than saggy pants showing underwear.

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For decency's sake, I'd have to insist he wore something over the crotch.

 

I really think the risk of having an "incident" that could really, really disturb others is all too possible with a young teen boy . . . I'd be very frank talking about that, as I've never been a boy, but IME as a teen girl, teen boys have erections approximately 67 times a day with little predictability or control. I can't see how he could go out in leggings without that being a risk.

 

And, to me, that is totally indecent if that happened out where kids/etc could see. So, I'd have a frank and uncomfortable chat with my son about *that*. Now, if he is confident that there is zero risk of him having a visible erection out and about in the world, then I'd let him wear them. If he agrees that there is any substantial risk of a visible erection, then he'd *have* to wear some shorts or skirt or something over the crotch.

 

Whether it's a gender identity thing or just a preference or a way to get my goat or just really bad taste in clothes, whatever, I'd bite my tongue and "allow" my teen to go out in public looking like a fool, or like a girl, or like a boy in leggings, or whatever. I'd get over it. It's not *my* body, so as long as what he is doing isn't putting him in danger (i.e., if I lived in some crazy place where I was afraid he'd get beaten or arrested) or "assaulting" others with unwanted sexual visions, then I'd back off and get over it. Hopefully, he'd get over leggings soon, but if not, then hopefully I'd learn to like them. 

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Well, its not something I'm used to seeing but maybe approach it this way: Assuming that he is hassled/mocked while out and about in public for wearing them, how will he react to that? If you think he lacks the maturity to respond appropriately, keep his composure and feel comfortable regardless of it being "cool" with the majority, then maybe let him wear them out at the park/mall.

 

If you feel that your child would internalize/react badly to the rude comments/hassling, then disallow it. Not strictly because of how he does or does not look in the clothes, but because how he will/will not react to snide comments. If he's the type of person to internalize and agonize over rude remarks then forbidding the clothes may help to spare him some turmoil until he is older.

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They look like long underwear, maybe he throws some shorts on top and there you go.

But, it is a journey. I have a little girl that refuses to wear dresses, and I decided not to force her.

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here boys wear something called skins under sports shorts. I think they are compression pants?  Mostly the boys wearing them are actively training/ participating in sports or on their way to sports.

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I've seen the compression pants on the basketball players at my son's high school.  I suppose if they go out to eat before or after the game, they might still have them on.  

 

My son has a couple pairs of skinny sweats, but his legs are still skinnier.

 

I've never seen leggings on a guy, but fashion is usually a year or two behind around here.

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I haven't seen this trend among teenage boys in our area.  But if he doesn't mind taking the ribbing that will ensue, let him have at it.  Of all the odd tics a person could have, this one seems pretty mild.

Edited by reefgazer
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My opinion is, unless he has some kind of developmental issue that would keep him from foreseeing the consequences, a teenager should be allowed to wear what he wants to wear.

 

That said... it's definitely a fashion statement.

 

Unless he is a runner (there are running tights), I think he might get a lot of attention that isn't all positive. 

 

And some that might be more positive in the direction he may not be looking for, a la miniskirts on girls.

 

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There 'ya go - Justin the Beaver wearing leggings.  Maybe you should ban them, LOL!

 Meggings are more popular in the UK than they are here.  Asos and other stores carry them and Justin Bieber and others have been seen in public in them.  That said, I'm kinda eh on whether I'd let my teen boy wear them.  They are, by nature, not very modest.  Clingy revealing clothing in any variety gets a raised eyebrow here.  I'd ask that he wear shorts over them.

 

Edited by reefgazer

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My son's friend wore a pair of bright purple leggings to school at least once a week, all last year. He wore them with a loose top or sweater that hung down past his hips, and usually with high top sneakers.  No one said anything beyond, 'nice purple pants, dude.'

 

And who would ridicule him?  At a church group or a homeschool group would the adults permit the other children to bully another child?  Does your religious community not foster an anti-bullying, loving spirit?

 

Even in the public schools here, taunting another child for their choice in clothes would result in discipline of the child doing the taunting. What are they going to do, make a homophobic comment?  Well that will get the person saying such a thing a day in detention. It isn't acceptable in a workplace, it would get you fired, so it's not acceptable in a school.

 

 

Of course, my son just spent all his christmas money on a kilt and he has been wearing it and getting nothing but positive remarks from the other kids at the high school.

 

Does he have specific sensory issues?  I've had a couple friends whose boys were on the more sensory seeking side, who went through a time when they wanted very tight clothing. I've also seen the opposite, kids who needed very lose or baggy clothing that was extremely non-binding

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OT- I just want to say that you have done a great job raising him to be confident.  Leggings aside, that has to make you feel proud that he loves himself enough not to care what others think.

 

 

As long as they are not see through or skin tight, let him wear them.  I would rather have leggings than the baggy, saggy pants fad.

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I see them in CA. They are worn under athletic shorts most of the time.  Sometimes with boots. I've not noticed anything 'crazy'.  Young people experiment with various looks.  Wouldn't make an issue with this.  I'm also fine with leggings on females. They are covered waist to ankles. Nothing to see here...lol

 

Edited by LibraryLover
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Ds wears leggings all the time for dance. I have to buy them in the girls' section. He would happily go out in them... I tend to suggest he throw on shorts over them though, which is sort of in line with his school's policy, which is all dance wear must be covered to leave. But he'll wear them out like that.

 

I'm generally in favor of letting kids make their own fashion mistakes. My poor mother never hassled me about the flowy skirts with combat boots and flannel so...

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I think that it is a fashion fad, but may have better or less good acceptance depending upon circumstances and location, and may put out different "vibes" or signals depending on circumstances or location.

 

If my ds wanted to wear such to mall, I might call a store or two or security for the mall and ask about acceptance of that in that location, so as not to need to deal with it being seen as a matter for police or likely harrassment or worse from others there. 

 

Of course, you mentioned boots on the bottom, foot end of the leggings, but what is probably even more important is what is being worn (if anything) at the upper, abdominal end.

 

I would think that color, thickness and so on also could make a difference.

Edited by Pen

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I never know each day if my DD will come down the stairs as a boy, a girl, or somewhere in between.  I've learned to just shrug my shoulders and assume she'll figure it out.  With that in mind I'd offer to replace the leggings with another pair made for his particular body type (I just can't see how he would be comfortable in leggings made for girls) with the understanding that he must at all times be sure he's not in danger of.... raising a tent.  Even if the modesty covering apparel is a skirt.  I mean, is this the "hill" you want to fight for? Wouldn't it be better to save that kind of fight for something dangerous or life altering?  Dressing androgynously in many areas (probably not mine) is pretty common for teens. If he wants to actually dress like a girl because he feels he is a girl, well that's a whole other thread (and you can come talk to us about it on the WTMForum LGBT Support group that was started awhile back). I would make sure he understood that even in "meggings" he'll get a lot of looks and some comments, being informed and prepared will help him deal with the teasing.

 

Posted up thread  , the 3rd guy looks GOOD. 

Edited by foxbridgeacademy
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Well, runners wear them all the time so it's not crazy. I'd let him wear them but YMMV. *i wear them and so do my dd's so that may color my choices. I've got to agree with foxbridgeacademy " is this the hill, etc".

Edited by joyofsix

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My son wears them to running, skiing, cycling and just around because they are comfortable. I've never thought it odd; they are just athletic clothing. It never even occurred to me that someone else might care or take exception to it. Her certainly doesn't care nor do any of his friends. Its just his style, whatever. I love that he's comfortable in his own skin. :)

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My ds has a pair of leggings.  He asked me to buy them for hiking - to wear under his pants as an extra thermal layer.

 

But...he realized how comfortable they were and for about two weeks he wore them at home.  He'd change into his leggings as soon as he got home from school.  I thought it was funny.  He has always liked comfortable clothes. 

 

Anyway, for Christmas his grandparents bought him a pair of track pants and a pair of sweat pants and I haven't seen the leggings since.

 

 

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No. Not seen here. It would not be allowed in our house (outside of him being, say, a speed skater...and then only in competition/training). ETA - a reasonable athletic wear, sure. As "fashion", no.

 

And, I agree with other posters - even my dd is not allowed to wear leggings as outerwear. I wholeheartedly agree with the mantra "leggings aren't pants".

Edited by FriedClams
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I asked dd17 and she said she's never seen a guy with leggings unless he had shorts on doing athletics. It's a girl fashion to wear leggings with super large shirts like tunics. I think they're cute. I don't see them being much different than tight jeans. In fact, I prefer leggings on girls over tight jeans. Tight jeans just look so uncomfortable! It's probably my age. My dd lives in leggings right now.

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In my head, I'd be laughing hysterically while also cringing. But I already do that with some of my dds' fashion choices, and even my teen ds's choices (though his go in the complete opposite direction from leggings.)  If THEY are comfortable, I have no trouble keeping the laughing to myself.  I do struggle with the cringing, but usually limit it to a raised eyebrow.

 

I don't like the idea of my sons' bits and pieces being recognizable but, if I've managed to adjust to my dds' chests being recognizable, I figure I could probably do the same with boys.  If there ever comes a day in which they want to wear leggings.  

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I'm not sure how I'd feel about it, frankly.

I don't have any teen sons anymore, and neither one of mine would've worn leggings.

Dd does, and doesn't wear them with just tunics, either, but they are thick, and it's the style here, and she is quite slim, so I've never really given it a thought.

 

I do tend to be more conservative in what I like to see on young people. I don't like goth stuff, or cosplay, or super-short, or big scarves on boys. But I'm learning a lot about how I've come to those likes and dislikes, and I can see I was raised with a lot of very black-and-white values, and a lot of emphasis placed on what makes something masculine or feminine, and honestly, I have had to confront my own prejudices and judgements. I certainly don't treat people poorly based on their clothing choices, but inside, I do have preferences, even for other people. It's funny, since I was also raised with the idea that "it's what is inside that counts" and "Man looks on the outward appearance but God looks on the heart" (I Sam 16:7).

 

As far as helping a child not be a "bully magnet," I guess I'd do some warning and have a conversation about that. For sure, our public school has an anti-bullying policy, but most bullying is not caught by the teachers, so that sort of policy is only effective if the students stand up for one another and break the "street code" of not "narking," to borrow drug slang.

 

So, there you are: a non-answer, OP!

Edited by Chris in VA
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I would not let any of my children wear leggings as outerwear. Under appropriate-lengthed tops or other clothing that concealed parts I feel should be concealed, I'd be fine with it.

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I hate leggings, and I think they look bad. They are not pants.

 

That said, I'd let a child of any gender wear them as long as said child wore something over the crotch and rear. I don't want to see anyone's stuff.

 

ETA: My son, who plays hockey with a bunch of 14 year olds, is sitting on the couch here. I just asked him if boys in leggings was a new fashion thing, and he got a horrified look on his face and said, "Like just going out in leggings? NO!! I have never seen any guys do that!"

 

My husband did text me a picture of my son's teammate, who is growing a Patrick Kane-style mullet.  :001_rolleyes:

Edited by TaraTheLiberator
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When I was in high school it was popular for girls to wear long thermal underwear with men's boxers.  LOL  And I mean real men's boxers.  Saggy butt, opening in the front.

 

 

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When I was in high school it was popular for girls to wear long thermal underwear with men's boxers. LOL And I mean real men's boxers. Saggy butt, opening in the front.

Yeah, I think if fashion choices are the biggest thing you have to worry about with your teen, you've done everything right. :)

 

I also think it's interesting that the vast majority of posters say they would never allow leggings to be worn by their kids, yet almost all the kids (especially girls, yes, but boys too) around here wear them. It's just totally normal and everyday wear, like jeans. Regional differences, I guess.

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I'm generally in favor of letting kids make their own fashion mistakes. My poor mother never hassled me about the flowy skirts with combat boots and flannel so...

 

What do you mean, fashion mistake? A flowy skirt with flannel and combat boots is an awesome look, not to mention comfortable and modest. (Am I dating myself?)  :)

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I'm surprised by how many people say they wouldn't let a kid out in leggings as outerwear ever. I guess I feel like you have to pick your battles and I can't imagine picking this one. Leggings cover everything. But, also, I don't believe in enforcing some sort of modesty culture, so there's that...

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Yeah, I think if fashion choices are the biggest thing you have to worry about with your teen, you've done everything right. :)

 

I also think it's interesting that the vast majority of posters say they would never allow leggings to be worn by their kids, yet almost all the kids (especially girls, yes, but boys too) around here wear them. It's just totally normal and everyday wear, like jeans. Regional differences, I guess.

 

It might not be totally regional.  Things can be popular, without really being fashionable.  A lot of girls here wear cheap leggings with short tops, or in the summer shorts that look more like underwear.  But they actually look cheap, and they are not flattering - really only small kids or the very very skinny can get away with it at all. 

 

My dd11 is at this point not able to tell the difference between popular and fashionable, in clothes or music or I am sure many other areas.

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