Why do I struggle to get moving on school throughout the day?

[Tranquility7]

Why do I get distracted by EVERYTHING ELSE when I need to just focus on school? I procrastinate like CRAZY. And the ironic thing is, my kids are generally eager students and quick learners, so it's not as though school is miserable or anything. I just can't get myself to focus. I have three kids (9, 6, and 1) and I feel like I'm constantly juggling their needs and it gets overwhelming and I just retreat. I am a total introvert, so I know that is part of my problem, but I need to figure out how to get over it and focus on what needs to be done, kwim?! FWIW, we are getting "plenty" done, as far as their actual achievement goes, but I know we could be doing SO much more.  *sigh*

 

Please. Psychoanalyze me. Tell me what is up with myself, and how to get over it!!

 

 

Edited January 21, 2016 by tranquility7

[abacus2]

Don't judge your work by your best wishful thinking. You are getting "plenty" done and that's ok. You have a 1 year old. Life does not work on a smooth plan with a 1 year old. 

[Rachel]

I can't say what's wrong with you, but part of it may have to do with having a one year old. My first year of homeschooling I had a one year old and our schedule had to shift every few weeks to best accommodate him.

 

I have to force myself to be disciplined. I'm not a morning person so we don't start school until I have showered and had caffiene. In my head we need to start between 9:00 and 9:15 so if I'm dawdling as it gets closer to start time, I get a move on. I of course make exceptions but they have to truly be exceptions. I gave up the idea of being able to do chores or hobbies until school work is done. It works for some people, but my kids are young so they need quite a bit of direction with schoolwork and if I'm folding laundry in the next room, I have trouble keeping them on task. I also make sure my kids aren't going to need a snack or something in the middle of our school time unless it's a break we all take, it's too difficult for us to get back on track.

 

Maybe figure out specifically what is distracting you and go from there. If it's phone calls or texts, maybe you need to put your phone on do not disturb. If it's the baby, you may have to school for shorter chunks of time. If it's chores, you may have to figure out a different time to complete them.

 

Good luck!

[Garga]

Are you getting enough sleep? I spin my wheels very badly when I don't get enough sleep. When I get sleep, I can focus and get things done. Without sleep, it takes me 3-4 times longer than normal to get a simple task done.

[Monica_in_Switzerland]

Sometimes I feel like I spend the whole day trying to snatch bits of me-time to keep me sane.  (introvert here as well)  This is usually when I am not make a concerted effort to get me-time elsewhere, like mornings or evenings or weekends.  If I'm getting enough to recharge my batteries during those times, I don't need to do it during the day nearly as much.  And like sleep, those little 5 minute bits during the day are not really recharging me, whereas a solid chunk does.  

 

If you need the break in the day, schedule it.  This will give you something to look forward to and maybe help you focus.  I give myself about 20 minutes on the computer after breakfast and another dose of do-whatever-I-want while the kids have quiet time in the afternoon.  Very helpful!  Giving yourself permission to recharge makes that time you spend doing it more restful.  

 

But I do get sucked in.  I am better off if I set a timer for myself.  lol.  

[Rosie_0801]

If you were doing SO much more, they'd be having less play time. Play time is good for them.

[Garga]

I never did it, but I heard of homeschoolers who initiated a 1-hour quiet time every afternoon. During that time, the kids were in their rooms playing quietly alone and did not disturb anyone else.

 

Maybe you need to do that. Have one hour a day where you can sit quietly yourself or do a chore or something without the kids needing you.

 

I can't tell you how to make that happen, because I never did it, but there are a lot of people on these boards who did it (or are doing it now!)

 

Also, are you a list person? When I procrastinate, I write a list for about 5 days' worth of time. I break down whatever I need to do into small pieces and work on it over a 5 day period rather than a 1 day period. So, instead of there being a giant list that I have to read over and decide, "Which thing on this list is the most important to do today?" I have alreay priortized things. I then just follow through and get all the things done on Monday and forget about the rest. Then, I get all the things done on Tues and forget the rest. It helps me to be able to know the things are on my list but I don't have to do them today. I have set aside time some other day to do them.

 

And last thing: routines. With a 1 year old this is tricky, but you may need to come up with routines. These can be things that you naturally already do that you set a bit more in stone. Routine is to eat breakfast and then do the dishes right away. Routine is to start school at X time. Routine is to ...you get the idea.

 

Summary:

 

Sleep.

1 hour of quiet time a day.

Get the things you have to do on paper and assign different days to do them.

Routine.

[lllll]

nm

Edited January 31, 2016 by - 8 95

[FO4UR]

Compartmentalize your day.

 

Ex:

 

Before 8:30 am, I am focused on motherly tasks. Getting breakfast, dressed, etc...

 

Once I call the kids to school, it is school time. Ignore the house.  Keep the baby close.  The baby will interrupt, and that is life. Everything else can wait though.

 

Take time at lunch to let the kids play while you switch a load of laundry and tidy up the baby's mess from the morning.

 

Nap - Quiet Hour.  During quiet hour, make a short list of things you want to finish with the kids before supper.

 

After nap, finish those things.

 

 

Sometimes I feel at loose ends b/c I haven't taken the time to asses and check.  When I do actually assess the day, it's one or two things to be completed, and not worth the amount of stress I was placing upon myself.  Sometimes I feel at lose ends b/c I plan way too much for us to accomplish in one day...or way too much for me to oversee (If I only had one child at home...but I have four, and one of them is a 3yo paint and playdoh prodigy.).  Sometimes those feelings come b/c the house is a wreck or I have too much going on outside the house.  I have to remind myself that homeschooling is a FT job, and between that and mothering and the other commitments I have, I'm attempting to do the work of 3 adults.  I have to fail somewhere, and that failure is going to manifest as cobwebs.  Making a choice to prioritize one thing over another makes it easier to accept the cobwebs.

 

 

[Holly]

It helps me to set a specific time for school.  I can get other projects (chores, laundry,etc.) done before or after school, but not during those times.  Right now we start no later than 10:00. That gives us plenty of time for breakfast, getting ready for the day, cleaning the kitchen, folding some laundry, and picking up a bit.

[Tranquility7]

Thanks so much for all of the replies. I think my issues are manifold, and your posts have all encouraged me with helpful thoughts and ideas! I'm going to read back through them a couple of times and figure out a couple of changes I can implement (or even re-implement!) easily. I love homeschooling and learning with my kids, and I think my current personal lack of focus and discipline is zapping some of that joy. Thanks for the pep talk and ideas!!

[Hobbes]

Sleep.

1 hour of quiet time a day.

Get the things you have to do on paper and assign different days to do them.

Routine.

This. My kids are close in age to yours - 8, 6, almost 2. I am due with our 4th in March.

 

Quiet time is a key component of our day. Each has a room to go to (not necessarily bedroom) and they spend 2 hours there, typically - no noise or coming out unless wounded. The 1yo naps for about 1.5 hrs and then looks at books in his bed for a bit because I'm beginning to train him for quiet time.

 

2 hours sounds long, but I've set them up to enjoy the time. They have Playmobil or Legos, basic art supplies or supplies for a project they are doing, and reading material. And the biggie - each has an iPod Nano and speaker (most sourced cheaply used!) loaded with audiobooks from our Audible subscription. They actually love quiet time, so much so that they will often get absorbed in their story or project and ask to stay in longer when I tell them they can get up. I think they have come to appreciate the time to focus on their own thing uninterrupted - a valuable opportunity in a full household.

 

It took training and adapting to establish, but it is SO worth it. Since it's a set thing every day, I'm motivated to finish school beforehand and be ready for the break. As kids get older, it will be available time for working on schoolwork that needs quiet and focus. It is a huge thing for me to have that time - I'm also quite introverted and get overwhelmed if there is no pause in the day.

 

Also, the other things - sleep and routines and to-do lists!

 

All the best. :)

Edited January 21, 2016 by indigoellen@gmail.com

[Kiara.I]

I'm not sure psychoanalyzing is the best bet.  It might be physical.

Have you had your hormone levels checked?

[Tranquility7]

Ellen, I love the idea of quiet time, but the problem is, once the 1 yr old goes down for nap, that is when I need to really do school with DS9. I have a list of things we can do with the noise and chaos of DD1 and DD6, and a list of things that we have to focus on more, and I can't figure out when to do them other than during DD1's nap. How do you manage that with your 1 yr old?

[Tranquility7]

I'm not sure psychoanalyzing is the best bet.  It might be physical.

Have you had your hormone levels checked?

 

I really do think the problem is just my lack of discipline and focus. But tell me more about the hormones....?? What would they be checked for that is related to all the stuff I'm talking about?

[Kiara.I]

I really do think the problem is just my lack of discipline and focus. But tell me more about the hormones....?? What would they be checked for that is related to all the stuff I'm talking about?

 

Thyroid is related to fatigue.  Fatigue results in hiding away rather than getting things done.

Your doctor can test thyroid quite easily.

But there are other hormones, and they can go out of whack too.  I see discussion of adrenal fatigue quite regularly, although I'm not sure that it's accepted in the medical community.

 

So if you go to a doctor, you could definitely get thyroid assessed, anyway.

[Rachel]

Ellen, I love the idea of quiet time, but the problem is, once the 1 yr old goes down for nap, that is when I need to really do school with DS9. I have a list of things we can do with the noise and chaos of DD1 and DD6, and a list of things that we have to focus on more, and I can't figure out when to do them other than during DD1's nap. How do you manage that with your 1 yr old?

We schooled during my 1 year old's naps, but we were doing K at the time so it wasn't too difficult. Are there times your 1yo will play on his own? Sit quietly in a high chair with a toy to entertain him? Can you wait until your spouse is home to entertain the younger two? Will 1 yo look at books?

[Hobbes]

Ellen, I love the idea of quiet time, but the problem is, once the 1 yr old goes down for nap, that is when I need to really do school with DS9. I have a list of things we can do with the noise and chaos of DD1 and DD6, and a list of things that we have to focus on more, and I can't figure out when to do them other than during DD1's nap. How do you manage that with your 1 yr old?

I use a mix of ideas and am gradually training him to self-occupy. I can see steady improvement. He starts out at the table with us, strapped in his high chair and playing with toys reserved only for that time. I rotate them to keep interest. Then he goes off to play in the playroom, usually with wooden trains or trucks. Then my 6yo, who has less work, goes to play with him *in a different room - critical point!* and that usually lasts until my 8yo has finished her work. I am pretty selective about quantity of work in early grades, so the amount of time required for the 8yo's work is not extensive.

 

I begin with the most intensive work with the 8yo, so that it is out of the way while the toddler is fresh and occupied. I'm finding that it's a training process for both the toddler and the olders (for them, to learn to focus with surrounding noise), but it's worthwhile. I actually find he is happier as he develops more independent play skills (something I've noticed in all three kids).

 

Protecting the quiet time is worth enough to my sanity and our household dynamic that if there was a subject I still needed to work on with my 8yo, I'd save it for when my husband got home, rather than miss quiet time. But that has only happened twice that I can remember. YMMV.

 

ETA: It helps my decision that I greatly value my kids' quiet time as their independent creative time, valuable for the development of their minds and thus a part of their education. In my thought process, that makes it a worthwhile educational endeavor and therefore more of a "homeschool priority" than "just" a sane moment for Mama, if that makes sense? I know this opinion varies from home to home, however.

Edited January 22, 2016 by indigoellen@gmail.com

[Coco_Clark]

I love, love, love the idea of quiet time...and I've never managed to be able to finangle it. Like you, I needed that nap for school!! But if you CAN manage it, I bet it would do wonders.

 

You aren't very specific on WHAT is distracting you? Maybe over a few days make a list? Phone calls can get me, I had to learn to turn it on silent in another room. The smaller kids...that's inevitable up to a certain point. But I do try to "fill their buckets" as it were early in the morning so they can hopefully play alone for a bit during lessons. I also baby wear well into 2 and 3 years old. And use an older as a "babysitter" while I teach other older, then switch. Maybe 9 and 6 can watch 1 for 20-30 min each?

 

I also personally suffer from decision fatigue. Sometimes I can spend SO MUCH TIME (and energy) just deciding what to do next. This is where a good schedule or routine can really serve you. Knowing what the next thing is makes it far easier to do it!

 

I'm willing to bet you are doing way better than you think you are! Home educating with littles in the house is a messy, unorganized, distracting business just by nature :)

Edited January 22, 2016 by Coco_Clark

[Another Lynn]

Maybe you need less on you? What do you feel would help you the most? Cleaning help? Meal help? Streamline or lighten school demands on you? A mothers helper to help with your one year old once or twice a week?

 

If it's school, use one on one time for skill subjects, and use CDs and DVDs for history and science. Assign reading x amount each day for 9yr old and for 6yr old when fluency permits.