Julie Bogart fangirls, did you listen to her Awesome Adulthood Periscope?

[Runningmom80]

I loved it!  It's already how I'm living, but it was an inspiring reminder.  :)

 

https://katch.me/BraveWriter/v/d112d38d-0b90-3e01-a996-30f2d9f9703c

 

 

[Mothersweets]

How did I forget about this? I love Julie Bogart!

 

Thanks for posting - I'm going off to watch it now. :)

[Runningmom80]

How did I forget about this? I love Julie Bogart!

 

Thanks for posting - I'm going off to watch it now. :)

 

It's so good!  It's a great reminder for this time of year when we are kind of slogging through.

[FO4UR]

I touched on this a bit in May.  http://www.underthewillowtree.org/2015/05/how-to-be-awesome-homeschool-mom-in-3.html

 

 

Julie Bogart says it better.  She has some great insights.

 

 

One of my struggles is that I have a big age gap between my 3rd and 4th.  Part of me is really ready to move on from *full immersion* into motherhood, and part of me wants to forget every responsibility except teaching and nurturing the cutest preschooler in the world.  

 

 

 

 

[desertflower]

I am so behind in listening to her periscopes! Thanks for posting this.

[HeWillSoar]

I listened to that one and one last night that really shook my thinking (55 Things I Didn't Do).  I'm really thinking about some of her ideas on homeschooling that are so opposite of what we've been doing.  Now I'm listening to 61 Things I Did Right.  It is inspiring me to try to have more fun in our homeschool and loosen up a bit.

Edited January 14, 2016 by HeWillSoar

[Above The Rowan]

Her scopes have been what has kept my head above water this year. She's so warm and nurturing and inspiring, and I always walk away from her scopes feeling like "I got this." 

 

Her Awesome Adulthood scopes (there's two!) were amazing, and really kind of shook me up a bit.

 

She did a scope over the holidays with her son Liam, and it turned into an amazing talk about his gaming, and what he's doing now. My 10 yr old (avid gamer) watched it live with me, and was just blown away and inspired by someone who was Just. Like. Him. as a student, and still grew up to be a pretty cool awesome guy. Plus, all the scopes Julie does with her kids are so heartwarming - to see her pride and joy in her kids is really beautiful. 

 

I'm definitely a Julie Fangirl :) 

[Soror]

I was a bit disillusioned with her things we didn't do and haven't been much interested since then. I need to check out the adult casts, sounds like something that might speak to me right now.

[Runningmom80]

I didn't see the things we didn't do scope, I'll have to check it out!

 

Enchanted Homeschool is another really inspiring one.

[Runningmom80]

I loved the things she didn't do!  I feel like a homeschool rockstar now! :laugh:

[HeWillSoar]

Now you have to watch the things she did!

[lovinmyboys]

Thanks for sharing this. I have been struggling a little lately with the next step. My baby is turning four in a few months. I spent 8 straight years with a child under 2 and taking care of the kids and house (sorta) was all I could handle. Now, with no more babies, I have some time in my life for me and to actually think a complete thought. I was almost feeling guilty about it. I needed to hear that.

[Runningmom80]

Thanks for sharing this. I have been struggling a little lately with the next step. My baby is turning four in a few months. I spent 8 straight years with a child under 2 and taking care of the kids and house (sorta) was all I could handle. Now, with no more babies, I have some time in my life for me and to actually think a complete thought. I was almost feeling guilty about it. I needed to hear that.

I'm in the same space, my twins are 5 and I'm finally coming out of my fog!

[Caclcoca]

I have been struggling lately, but I wasn't sure why.  She just put into words what I was trying to find.  My youngest in now 7, and I need to find myself again.  My dd12 has told me that she never wants to homeschool, and that made me sad.  If I look at my life from her point of view, I can see why.  I am so thankful that I have the opportunity to stay home and educate my children.  I do not want any of them to ever think that they were a burden.  Thank you for sharing this link.  I am going to start figuring out how to find the balance between doing what I need to do for my children and what I need to do for me. I am also going to look into more of her periscopes.  I am always inspired when I listen to Julie Bogart.

[Monica_in_Switzerland]

Fangirl here!  I love all the scopes I've seen!

 

Awesome adulthood was a great reminder of the "big picture" I'm going for.  Loved it.

 

 

[Monica_in_Switzerland]

I was a bit disillusioned with her things we didn't do and haven't been much interested since then. I need to check out the adult casts, sounds like something that might speak to me right now.

 

I get your sentiment, really.  She's selling products and methods that she didn't use on her own kids!  Whaaaat????  

 

But I have a lot of respect for her honesty.  If you listen to a number of her periscopes, you discover that she did go through an unschooling phase and that it was a total disaster at her house.  She also went through a boxed curriculum phase, and many other things.  I don't fault her for needing time to find her footing, I appreciate seeing the making of this "homeschool guru".   

 

What I like about Julie is not necessarily even her homeschooling methods- some I love, some I don't- but her MOTHERING methods.  My take-away from her scopes is that she created a home atmosphere that was one of growth, continual learning, and love.  Her talks have really inspired me in that direction, as if left unattended, I can sort of turn into a do-the-next-thing robot, even when it comes to interacting with my kids.  

 

I will always care more about math, foreign language, and ticking off boxes that she appears to, but boy can I learn a lot from her about how to BE with my kids!!!  

[pehp]

I watched this last night and it was great! I really enjoy her perspective. (I'll also say that as a girl who saw her own mother doing cool things...and feeling proud of the cool things....I totally agree that children see us living our lives and it inspires them.)

Edited January 17, 2016 by pehp

[Runningmom80]

I get your sentiment, really.  She's selling products and methods that she didn't use on her own kids!  Whaaaat????  

 

But I have a lot of respect for her honesty.  If you listen to a number of her periscopes, you discover that she did go through an unschooling phase and that it was a total disaster at her house.  She also went through a boxed curriculum phase, and many other things.  I don't fault her for needing time to find her footing, I appreciate seeing the making of this "homeschool guru".   

 

What I like about Julie is not necessarily even her homeschooling methods- some I love, some I don't- but her MOTHERING methods.  My take-away from her scopes is that she created a home atmosphere that was one of growth, continual learning, and love.  Her talks have really inspired me in that direction, as if left unattended, I can sort of turn into a do-the-next-thing robot, even when it comes to interacting with my kids.  

 

I will always care more about math, foreign language, and ticking off boxes that she appears to, but boy can I learn a lot from her about how to BE with my kids!!!  

 

Same here!

[EKT]

Thanks for sharing the link; I hadn't watched any of her stuff before. The adulthood scope completely spoke to some things I'm feeling right now.

 

I went on to watch a few other videos and I really appreciate her honesty and kind spirit. 

[pehp]

What I like about her is that she's very real and very encouraging! Mostly I love her constant encouragement to ENGAGE with our children.  I completely agree--whatever the methodology or curriculum one chooses, engagement is the heart of the matter. 

[waa510]

I get your sentiment, really.  She's selling products and methods that she didn't use on her own kids!  Whaaaat????  

 

But I have a lot of respect for her honesty.  If you listen to a number of her periscopes, you discover that she did go through an unschooling phase and that it was a total disaster at her house.  She also went through a boxed curriculum phase, and many other things.  I don't fault her for needing time to find her footing, I appreciate seeing the making of this "homeschool guru".   

 

What I like about Julie is not necessarily even her homeschooling methods- some I love, some I don't- but her MOTHERING methods.  My take-away from her scopes is that she created a home atmosphere that was one of growth, continual learning, and love.  Her talks have really inspired me in that direction, as if left unattended, I can sort of turn into a do-the-next-thing robot, even when it comes to interacting with my kids.  

 

I will always care more about math, foreign language, and ticking off boxes that she appears to, but boy can I learn a lot from her about how to BE with my kids!!!  

 

Maybe I'm misunderstanding...but I think she *did* use the methods in her curriculum...that's where the curriculum came from, right? Her experiences teaching her kids and the different methodologies that she used to do so fed her later writing a curriculum of what she did. I think she's really just written down what she was able to do organically at the time, due to her writing know-how. She's talked a bit about her kids now being involved in Poetry Slams b/c of their earlier time doing Poetry Tea Time, for example. So I'm not a Julie expert but I do think her curriculum is informed by her experiences. I don't get a "buy my stuff" vibe from her at all. She seems to be a genuine lady. :) JMO. 

[Monica_in_Switzerland]

Maybe I'm misunderstanding...but I think she *did* use the methods in her curriculum...that's where the curriculum came from, right? Her experiences teaching her kids and the different methodologies that she used to do so fed her later writing a curriculum of what she did. I think she's really just written down what she was able to do organically at the time, due to her writing know-how. She's talked a bit about her kids now being involved in Poetry Slams b/c of their earlier time doing Poetry Tea Time, for example. So I'm not a Julie expert but I do think her curriculum is informed by her experiences. I don't get a "buy my stuff" vibe from her at all. She seems to be a genuine lady. :) JMO. 

 

Absolutely.  But if you watch her periscope video on what she didn't do, she mentions for example that though BW schedules 10 writing projects a year, her kids never did that many.  And a  number of other similar examples that could leave a potential customer scratching her head.  

 

If you watch her most recent periscope (BW lifestyle or something like that), she mentions this thread and shows proof that she's done all the things in her books.  LOL!  

 

Anyone who reads my posts knows that I am a complete and total JB fangirl.  I was being intentionally hyperbolic in my post because that's usually my technique for disagreeing with someone politely on the internet.  :-)  

[SanDiegoMom]

I remember both those periscopes! Yes, that could be confusing -- I guess with five kids the 10 projects were spread out among them! 

 

I also watched the 55 things I didn't do and the 61 things I did do. I had a little of the same reaction at first as Soror... Wow -- hardly any math? Really? And some of the others had me scratching me head as well. And THEN I listened to what she DID do! I'm so glad I listened to them in that order -- she really did some amazing things --- things I would never think of doing!  It just brought home to me how each homeschooler's  path is so different.  We all just have to find our own way while always respecting the passions of our kids.

 

My kids really enjoy the BW lifestyle.  We are SLOWLY integrating different aspects into our week. 

 

[Hobbes]

Absolutely. But if you watch her periscope video on what she didn't do, she mentions for example that though BW schedules 10 writing projects a year, her kids never did that many. And a number of other similar examples that could leave a potential customer scratching her head.

 

If you watch her most recent periscope (BW lifestyle or something like that), she mentions this thread and shows proof that she's done all the things in her books. LOL!

 

When I read TWJ and PW, I got the distinct impression that she doesn't expect that everyone will do every writing project she offers. The way I took it was that they were all there as ideas and resources and she offers that many to provide flexibility. Her curricula is definitely not "must do all the things" - much more of a 'resource' approach, I've found. That's how I have been using it/plan to use it, anyway.

[Runningmom80]

When I read TWJ and PW, I got the distinct impression that she doesn't expect that everyone will do every writing project she offers. The way I took it was that they were all there as ideas and resources and she offers that many to provide flexibility. Her curricula is definitely not "must do all the things" - much more of a 'resource' approach, I've found. That's how I have been using it/plan to use it, anyway.

 

That's the intent of the products, as I understand it.  She wants to inspire you, not drag you along a check list.

 

I'm total right brained creative type, so this really speaks to me!

[Runningmom80]

Absolutely.  But if you watch her periscope video on what she didn't do, she mentions for example that though BW schedules 10 writing projects a year, her kids never did that many.  And a  number of other similar examples that could leave a potential customer scratching her head.  

 

If you watch her most recent periscope (BW lifestyle or something like that), she mentions this thread and shows proof that she's done all the things in her books.  LOL!  

 

Anyone who reads my posts knows that I am a complete and total JB fangirl.  I was being intentionally hyperbolic in my post because that's usually my technique for disagreeing with someone politely on the internet.  :-)  

 

I was laughing so hard when that part of the scope came on, figuring if it wasn't this exact thread, it was probably one of them on here.  :lol: 

[Soror]

I get your sentiment, really.  She's selling products and methods that she didn't use on her own kids!  Whaaaat????  

 

But I have a lot of respect for her honesty.  If you listen to a number of her periscopes, you discover that she did go through an unschooling phase and that it was a total disaster at her house.  She also went through a boxed curriculum phase, and many other things.  I don't fault her for needing time to find her footing, I appreciate seeing the making of this "homeschool guru".   

 

What I like about Julie is not necessarily even her homeschooling methods- some I love, some I don't- but her MOTHERING methods.  My take-away from her scopes is that she created a home atmosphere that was one of growth, continual learning, and love.  Her talks have really inspired me in that direction, as if left unattended, I can sort of turn into a do-the-next-thing robot, even when it comes to interacting with my kids.  

 

I will always care more about math, foreign language, and ticking off boxes that she appears to, but boy can I learn a lot from her about how to BE with my kids!!!  

I didn't mean my comment as a slam, I was just being authentic as well. It has nothing to do with her not using her own products- I get that. I do respect her honesty and think she is a fabulous mother(from everything I see). I do see her as inspirational in many ways. My pulling back was to reflect to myself on my own goals and vision. I think it can be easy to get sucked into following someone too closely, trying to emulate them completely, and I felt that when I had this level of disappointment with the things she didn't do that I was a little too attached in following her. Of course her objective is not for anyone to just copy what she did/does but find their own way. I needed to think about that, I do agree with creating an atmosphere, entirely but I had to decide how relaxed and how structured I wanted, figuring it out slowly. Getting my confidence to say that it is ok for me not to be as structured as some and not as relaxed as others. 

[Monica_in_Switzerland]

I didn't mean my comment as a slam, I was just being authentic as well. It has nothing to do with her not using her own products- I get that. I do respect her honesty and think she is a fabulous mother(from everything I see). I do see her as inspirational in many ways. My pulling back was to reflect to myself on my own goals and vision. I think it can be easy to get sucked into following someone too closely, trying to emulate them completely, and I felt that when I had this level of disappointment with the things she didn't do that I was a little too attached in following her. Of course her objective is not for anyone to just copy what she did/does but find their own way. I needed to think about that, I do agree with creating an atmosphere, entirely but I had to decide how relaxed and how structured I wanted, figuring it out slowly. Getting my confidence to say that it is ok for me not to be as structured as some and not as relaxed as others. 

 

I, too, find that balance really hard to achieve, especially when there are very vocal extremists at both the organizational and relaxed ends of the spectrum!  

 

I think you are on the literature-only based thread...  yep, just checked... :-)... this is where I feel us naturally going because it's what *I* actually want to teach and do.  I am not, and never will be a history fan, although SOTW has gone a long way towards lessening my hatred for it.  lol.  BW is probably the closest thing to a literature/LA focused HS out there.  

 

Sorry to have misinterpreted your reaction to the video!  Don't give up on her scopes though, they are still amazing.  

[SanDiegoMom]

I think she is awesome and I would love to have her right down the street so I could ask for advice whenever I needed. I have many of her Arrow Guides, TWJ, Partnership Writing and Faltering Ownership! And after listening to the podcasts I realized I would never be able to completely replicate what she does.  

 

1. She is MUCH more of an extrovert.  Party school? I just had my kids' birthday party with two guests and I feel like an emotional wreck! 

2. Bird Watching, nature study? Not really our thing. 

3. Even though I was a literature major, Math is our absolute favorite time of the day and we never miss it, whatever else we might skip. 

4. Again, even though I was a literature major, I suck at the "big juicy conversations".  I am working on it, but leading a book discussion feels so darn stilted and I just have a hard time finding questions without it feeling forced.  I can see that her kids learned sooo much from conversations.  It has helped me to see where I need to improve, and I actually had my first real "juicy conversation" after we watched Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland and discussed characters and motivations and themes. But I doubt it will ever come as naturally to me as it does to her, so her more unstructured, organic learning seems more possible with her personality than with mine. 

 

 

 

[HeWillSoar]

I think she is awesome and I would love to have her right down the street so I could ask for advice whenever I needed. I have many of her Arrow Guides, TWJ, Partnership Writing and Faltering Ownership! And after listening to the podcasts I realized I would never be able to completely replicate what she does.  

 

1. She is MUCH more of an extrovert.  Party school? I just had my kids' birthday party with two guests and I feel like an emotional wreck! 

2. Bird Watching, nature study? Not really our thing. 

3. Even though I was a literature major, Math is our absolute favorite time of the day and we never miss it, whatever else we might skip. 

4. Again, even though I was a literature major, I suck at the "big juicy conversations".  I am working on it, but leading a book discussion feels so darn stilted and I just have a hard time finding questions without it feeling forced.  I can see that her kids learned sooo much from conversations.  It has helped me to see where I need to improve, and I actually had my first real "juicy conversation" after we watched Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland and discussed characters and motivations and themes. But I doubt it will ever come as naturally to me as it does to her, so her more unstructured, organic learning seems more possible with her personality than with mine. 

 

That made me laugh--I can relate!  The days of kid's birthday parties were fun but I'm glad for them to be over.  

 

I'm enjoying the periscopes very much .  Hi Julie, if you are reading!  They make me wish I had started homeschooling when the kids were younger, when they would been into things like nature walks and bird watching. I started late and one kid is behind so I have been feeling pressure to get him caught up. What I love about her 55 Things scope is that she says didn't do every single thing, and her kids still turned out to be successful adults.  That gives me hope that even if I can't do it all, it's going to be just fine.  And really, I slept in high school and went on to do well in community college and then a school to learn a trade.  I want the kids to learn and be educated but I don't want every day to feel like drudgery.  It's about finding a balance.  What she says about Classical homeschooling in the fall, Charlotte Mason in the winter and unschooling in the spring really makes sense to me, although maybe not unschooling.  But then once you get to the high school age, there is more pressure to keep in line with public schools for college acceptance. 

Edited February 2, 2016 by HeWillSoar

[Soror]

I touched on this a bit in May.  http://www.underthewillowtree.org/2015/05/how-to-be-awesome-homeschool-mom-in-3.html

 

 

Julie Bogart says it better.  She has some great insights.

 

 

One of my struggles is that I have a big age gap between my 3rd and 4th.  Part of me is really ready to move on from *full immersion* into motherhood, and part of me wants to forget every responsibility except teaching and nurturing the cutest preschooler in the world.  

Finally listened to this and I am with you on being ready to move on but cherishing my little one. 

 

In the last couple of years I've really dived into prioritizing myself and it has felt like getting in touch with an old friend. 

 

I feel like a bit of a freak at times though- maybe due to my different than normal interests or the fact that I tend to get passionate, very passionate about things. I'm coming to accept that more. It is an amazing thing to think that yes, you can still have hopes and dreams at any age, just keep plugging away. I'm beyond thankful to have such a supportive husband who doesn't blink at my craziness and brags about his circus wife. He is starting to work on his own interests too, it is just as hard for dads- in a way more so as I have more time - although less time to myself. Some things I do just for fun but a lot of them I see as enriching my life and the life of my family. The real hard part is starting to think about what you want to do- I remember posting threads on here about that but Julie is right to keep it broad because it is so individual. I was just thinking today there are any number of things we could do which would be well and good but how nice to be at a place to say- this is for me and no I'm not interested in that without feeling guilt about not doing it all.

[pehp]

Finally listened to this and I am with you on being ready to move on but cherishing my little one. 

 

In the last couple of years I've really dived into prioritizing myself and it has felt like getting in touch with an old friend. 

 

I feel like a bit of a freak at times though- maybe due to my different than normal interests or the fact that I tend to get passionate, very passionate about things. I'm coming to accept that more. It is an amazing thing to think that yes, you can still have hopes and dreams at any age, just keep plugging away. I'm beyond thankful to have such a supportive husband who doesn't blink at my craziness and brags about his circus wife. He is starting to work on his own interests too, it is just as hard for dads- in a way more so as I have more time - although less time to myself. Some things I do just for fun but a lot of them I see as enriching my life and the life of my family. The real hard part is starting to think about what you want to do- I remember posting threads on here about that but Julie is right to keep it broad because it is so individual. I was just thinking today there are any number of things we could do which would be well and good but how nice to be at a place to say- this is for me and no I'm not interested in that without feeling guilt about not doing it all.

 

 

 

Just my tiny tip: freewriting can help with that.  Through it (morning pages, a la Julia Cameron, which I do NOT do everyday--I take them medicinally, as it were) I was able to determine WHAT, exactly, I wanted to do.  Because it was a struggle to figure that out for a while!  They helped hone my focus.  I also feel comfortable switching back and forth between my passions, depending on the season, schedule, and so on. Everyone is different, but I found it useful!

[Soror]

Just my tiny tip: freewriting can help with that.  Through it (morning pages, a la Julia Cameron, which I do NOT do everyday--I take them medicinally, as it were) I was able to determine WHAT, exactly, I wanted to do.  Because it was a struggle to figure that out for a while!  They helped hone my focus.  I also feel comfortable switching back and forth between my passions, depending on the season, schedule, and so on. Everyone is different, but I found it useful!

Thanks! I've figured it out for now... I meant starting out it was difficult- I posted on here- talked to friends and decided to try various things out.

[Vida Winter]

Is it possible to watch archived periscopes on the computer?

[Runningmom80]

Is it possible to watch archived periscopes on the computer?

 

Yep!  Just google "Julie Bogart Katch" :)

[HeWillSoar]

Does anyone know--did all her kids go to public high school? 

[Penelope]

I think at least a couple went full time, and the others took some of their classes there.

 

In the last scope she also talked about a high school coop science class they did. It sounds like they did a lot of different things for high school with their family. I really appreciate her sharing. It is so helpful when those who are finished homeschooling share their experiences and those of their children. Even though she didn't completely unschool, I always get an unschooly vibe from her and can't relate to or agree with some of what she talks about. But I find her talks inspiring and encouraging.

[Soror]

Does anyone know--did all her kids go to public high school? 

From what I remember she had at least one who didn't do any PS, some that did some selective classes and maybe 1 or 2 that completely enrolled. I can't remember the details just a range from totally hs'd to totally ps'd.

[HeWillSoar]

OK thanks. I wondered because I will be homeschooling high school more than likely for both kids but may outsource some. Her latest scope had me wondering how much experience she has in that area. I've been really inspired by her scopes as well.

[Runningmom80]

She just did a scope about high school, you can watch it on her katch. :)

 

Her older kids mostly homeschooled hs, and her younger sister mostly PS'ed high school. (She got divorced so it worked better for her family.)

[Chelli]

I loved it!  It's already how I'm living, but it was an inspiring reminder.  :)

 

https://katch.me/BraveWriter/v/d112d38d-0b90-3e01-a996-30f2d9f9703c

 

 

Thank you, thank you, thank you for linking this. I have been going through a mid-life crisis due to the things she talks about in this periscope. Looking at my life and feeling like there should be more. Had I made good choices with my decisions about marriage, motherhood, staying home, homeschooling, etc.? 

 

I recently started my own home based cooking business and it has fulfilled that need she talks about to have something that is just mine. Not my husband's and not my children's. Plus I'm writing a book. It's shaping up to FINALLY be a year about me (as awful and selfish as that sounds!)

[fraidycat]

I, too, find that balance really hard to achieve, especially when there are very vocal extremists at both the organizational and relaxed ends of the spectrum!

 

I think you are on the literature-only based thread... yep, just checked... :-)... this is where I feel us naturally going because it's what *I* actually want to teach and do. I am not, and never will be a history fan, although SOTW has gone a long way towards lessening my hatred for it. lol. BW is probably the closest thing to a literature/LA focused HS out there.

 

Sorry to have misinterpreted your reaction to the video! Don't give up on her scopes though, they are still amazing.

This jumped out at me - do you mind linking me to the thread, please.

[Tress]

I recently started my own home based cooking business and it has fulfilled that need she talks about to have something that is just mine. Not my husband's and not my children's. Plus I'm writing a book. It's shaping up to FINALLY be a year about me (as awful and selfish as that sounds!)

 

That doesn't sound awful or selfish, that sounds AMAZING! Keep going!  :hurray:

[Monica_in_Switzerland]

This jumped out at me - do you mind linking me to the thread, please.

 

http://forums.welltrainedmind.com/topic/585718-curriculum-that-focuses-on-literature-only/

 

Here you are!  I wish the thread had gone a bit longer...  Such an interesting approach to homeschooling!

[Soror]

Thank you, thank you, thank you for linking this. I have been going through a mid-life crisis due to the things she talks about in this periscope. Looking at my life and feeling like there should be more. Had I made good choices with my decisions about marriage, motherhood, staying home, homeschooling, etc.? 

 

I recently started my own home based cooking business and it has fulfilled that need she talks about to have something that is just mine. Not my husband's and not my children's. Plus I'm writing a book. It's shaping up to FINALLY be a year about me (as awful and selfish as that sounds!)

Good for you! I know I get the impression (even around here) that doing things for oneself is seen as selfish. Screw it. I'm with my kids all the time- I have given so much and continue to give. Part of our focus in our school are for things that I find interesting and want to study. I really appreciated her talking about going back to school and how it was a positive for her kids as her interests opened up interest for them as well. Everything doesn't have to be focused just on our kids, I think parenting these days is a big guilt trip and not good for the kids or parents to have such a kid centered approach. Our happiness shouldn't be solely dependent on others, it is too big a burden for us and them. I dont' want to end up with an empty nest and no idea what my life was about because I didn't have anything of my own.